Damian clears his throat, "I'm sorry I'm late." He walks through the doors to the ultrasound room.

"No, no. You made it right on time Mr. Vasiliev." The doctor says warmly. "Please excuse me for a minute, I have to go grab something."

Damian nods.

Sahara's eyes light up instantly, all the sadness she felt just yesterday melts away from her heart. "You made it!"

Damian walks over to hold Sahara's hands, "I wouldn't have missed it for the world, Sahara."

Sahara brings his hand to rest on her cheek for a bit and whispers, "Thank you. I appreciate that you're truly putting effort into this."

"I would never forgive myself for making you upset." He smiles at her.

"Sorry, for taking too long." The doctor says as she re-enters the room. "Shall we begin, Mister and Missus Vasiliev?"

They nod. Sahara is visibly nervous, she can feel her heart beating too fast and too hard. She feels a little embarrassed thinking maybe the doctor can hear her nervous breakdown.

As if the doctor heard, she says, "I know you must be very nervous, Mrs. Vasiliev. But don't be, this is going to be very magical and emotional. This is a blessing." She gives Sahara a warm smile. "This is going to be a little cold, okay?" She smooths down lubrication jelly on Sahara's stomach.

The sensation of the cool jelly makes Sahara shiver.

She smooths the handheld device over Sahara's stomach a few times to examine the fetus. "Everything looks good to go. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Vasiliev. Would you like me to show you the baby?"

Sahara nods eagerly as she squeezes Damian's hand.

"There isn't much to see now as the little one is only eight weeks in. But you can see it's heart beating right there." She points at a grainy and unclear part of the screen. However, a tiny thumping of what looks like a baby's heart can be clearly seen.

Sahara's hand flies to cover her mouth, as she begins sobbing out of happiness. "I'm going to be a mother... we're going to be parents! Alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah)!"

"Awe, motherhood is a beautiful journey." The doctor says. "Oh! Would you like a print out of the baby? I know you can't see much, however, it'll be comforting to have the picture."

"Yes, please!" Sahara says.

The doctor nods, "Okay, give me a moment. I'll be right back with the picture."

Sahara notices Damian staring at the ultrasound machine screen with a lot of attention. His eyes are soft, looking as if all the worries he had about being a parent has disappeared.

Then, suddenly, he whispers more to himself than anyone, "I'm going to be a father."

Sahara smiles thinking about how Damian has somehow accepted the unborn baby, accepted that he's going to be a father, accepted that all of this is going to happen.

• • •

After coming home, Sahara couldn't stop staring at the print out of their baby. She could barely see anything in the picture but just knowing that the little one is there makes her excited.

She sees Damian walking past her and calls him to her. "Damian, come sit with me." She pats on the empty side of couch.

He sits beside her, "Yes?"

She lays her head on his lap and simply says, "Tell me."

Damian caresses Sahara's cheek, "Tell you what?"

Sahara sighs, "Why you're so afraid of being a father."

Sahara feels Damian stiffen and quickly holds his hand to place a soft kiss on it. "Hey... It's okay... You're okay..." She says so he keeps his outburst under control.

He exhales loudly, places his forehead against hers. "I really wanted children at one point of my life... However, things in my life took a turn. I turned into a different person with a lifestyle not suitable for a family."

Sahara sits up, places a kiss on his cheek and nods to let him know it's okay for him to keep going.

"I did some insane shit that I'm ashamed of, you know that. I'm afraid my kids will grow up one day and hate me for it. What if I won't be able to be a good father? What if I hate being a father? What if they turn on me because of my past? What if I can't raise them right? What if my dark past catches up with my children?" He sighs. "That's why I was so strict about you getting pregnant, I was petrified of the thought of not being good enough."

Sahara can tell Damian is genuinely concerned about his troubled past impacting his present, especially their future children.

She leans in and places a small but lasting kiss on his lips. She takes his right hand and places it on her stomach, "This is ours. We created another human being through our love with the blessing of God. Let that sink into your mind first."

She rests her hands on his cheeks, stroking them with her thumb. "Second, I want you to remember that I love you. I loved you before, I love you now and I will love you a thousand years from now, Insh'Allah (If Allah wills)."

"Third, I want you to know that you're not afraid of parenthood, you're not afraid of being a father, and you're especially not afraid of not liking children because if that were the case, you wouldn't already be thinking about their well-being. You're afraid of not being able to keep them safe from the world, you're afraid of the world hurting them, that is the sign of a very responsible and loving father." Sahara kisses him on the cheek and smiles. "Have trust in yourself, believe in yourself, you're more capable of being a father than you think."

Damian wraps his arms around her and brings her into his chest. "I don't know what the hell I would've done without you. I don't know how I lived life before you. I love so so damn much, Sahara."

"I love you too, Damian." She whispers as she drifts off into slumber listening to Damian's steady heartbeat.

• • •

Sahara opens her eyes slowly from her sleep. She realizes that Damian had carried her to their bed while she slept.

Then, she hears Damian's voice from the other side of their room:

"My Lord, forgive me and my parents, and whoever enters my house as a believer, and forgive all believers, both men and women, and do not increase the wrong-doers in anything except destruction." (Holy Quran, 71:28)

Sahara's smile grows wider, "That's Surah Nuh." She says to herself quiet enough where he won't be able to hear her.

Damian has been reading the Qur'an in his own time, trying to understand his beloved wife's faith and her way of life.

"Damian?" Sahara calls out.

"You're awake." He closes the book, walks towards the bookshelf and places it on the top shelf.

"Your wonderful reading woke me up." Sahara is beaming at home.

"Oh, yes, I've been trying to appreciate Islamic teachings more since I'm married to a beautiful spiritual person. What better way to do that than read the Holy Book itself." He rests his hands on her hips.

She wraps her arms around his neck and leans in to rest her forehead on his as their noses are brushing. "I'm so proud of you. I'm overjoyed that you're taking time out of your day to become more aware and informed about Islam."

Damian pulls her closer to him, "I'm glad that this makes you happy."

She traces her fingers along his jaw as she stares at him with her innocently doe-like eyes. "I'm not pressuring you to convert against your will, you know that, right? You can do it if you'd like to, if you're ready. You don't have to do it if you don't want to. I'll love you either way."

He nods. "Always looking out for my best interests." He says more to himself than Sahara about her.

He leans in closed the space between their lips. Every after all this time, every time they kiss, Damian can feel the world around him vanishing into thin air, he feels as if he's falling all over again. His heart beats too fast, his body craves more of her, it drives him insane, every single time.

He pulls away and stares into her beaming eyes, "Thank you for walking into my life and not giving up on me."

- - -

A/N: I cry. lol 😩😭