After school, I started searching for Nathaniel. My heart was racing and I was feeling so much confidence and a whole lot of feelings.

Weird.

It even got to the extent that my eyes were ahead, but I wasn't looking ahead. And that's how I bumped into Nolan outside the school premises.

"Whoa what's the hurry?" He asked.

"Well, I guess you were a little right about Nathaniel." I sighed.

"What do you-"

"Have you seen him?" I requested.

"Madam please calm down." He chuckled. "What's going on?" He asked.

"Long story."I sighed looking about for Nathaniel.

"Shorten it then." He said and I spotted Nathaniel by his car. He was staring right at me.

"Sorry Nolan, gotta go." I said leaned up and pecked his cheeks moving towards him and all of a sudden Belinda appeared outta no where and placed her lips on his.

And he didn't even look at me or moreover push her away.

Don't get me wrong, that letter went through my head.

How stupid of me!

I looked away and walked towards where I had parked my porsche.

That letter sounded more or less like he had feelings for me! If so, he'd respect me enough not to disgrace me like that.

I know I'm being a bit too much but maybe I shouldn't have allowed that letter to go through my head.

***

When I got home, I went inside and everyone was in the hall. I cleared my throat and greeted everyone.

"Honey, are you okay?" Mom asked with concern.

"Yes mom." I lied. After massive convincing, they all agreed and I went to my room. I placed my bag at the right place and trekked into the bathroom and took a long shower.

After that, I wore an oversized sweater which reached my mid-thigh and braided my hair. Later I went downstairs, grabbed a tub of ice cream and went back to my room.

I sat down in my window seat and began to eat the ice cream to muffle my cries as my fresh tears streamed on my face because I couldn't forget what had happened.

I'm so Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

I should be expecting something like this!I feel like a disposable item! Stupid! stupid! If that was the case why did he kiss me? Or even write the letter talking about his feelings for me?

Why? Why? Why?

Even though the ice cream was frozen, it couldn't cool my face which was overflowed with heat and hot tears.

I sighed heavily and leaned my head back and I felt like something or someone was staring at me.

My heart started racing and I looked over my room. Then I spotted the Bible on my desk.

A voice in my mind was urging me to go check it out. And for that reason I stood and walked over to pick it.

I gasped when the book accidently slipped and fell down revealing the book of Mathew.

The chapter my eye fell on was the eleventh one. I sat down on the floor and carefully read through it. I reached the twenty eighth verse and I felt like it was referring directly to me.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

A tear rolled down my face and I smiled wide. But then later my smile faded because I was wondering how I'd go to God for him to give me rest.

Pray

I frowned and wondered. The voice in my head was my own voice alright, but it didn't sound like I was the one who made that up.

"Is God speaking to me?" I mumbled under my breath.

Yes

Goosebumps spread over me and I remained silent for a while. The all of a sudden my thoughts became a thought. Like only one person was talking to me through my own voice in my head. It was really weird but exciting.

He was speaking assuring words and comforting things in my head, expressing His love for me and a whole lot.

I broke down and cried, not in pain but in relief as I thanked him over and over. When I stood up, my heart felt rid of pain. But it was replaced with love and comfort. I laid on my bed and within minutes I feel asleep.

***

The following morning, I was so refreshed and vibrant. And of course, grateful to the One who was responsible for it. The heaviness was off my chest and I felt so relieved.

I was humming a son as I opened my locker and someone slammed it shut.

"Hi Belinda." I chirped.

"Ugh what is wrong with you?" She asked,

"Nothing is, I'm full on joy, can you say same?" I asked smiling and she rolled her eyes walking away.

Hm. That went well.

My phone beeped of a message from Mackenna and it said I should meet out with her for some girls night out.

***

I wore a simple red dress and no makeup for the outing.

When I finished I reminded my parents about it and my mom said,"Dear,take an umbrella, it might rain."

"Don't worry mom, I'll be fine," I passed her a smile and went outside to my car and drove to the place Mackenna sent the address.

However when I got to the place, I saw something different.The place was with candles, a bench by the lake side...it looked like a date scene.

Mackenna!

I felt too tired to go back so I sat on the bench and stared at the clouded sky. Later, the clear air was filled with a familiar muscline cologne.

"Pamela?" Nathaniel called in his deep voice and I stood up to face him.

"What are you doing here?" I scowled at him.

"I should be asking you the same thing, aren't you supposed to be with your boyfriend?" He sneered and I gave him a confused look.

"You rather have a girlfriend you're supposed to be with, you and I both know, I don't have a boyfriend." I countered.

"Oh so Nolan? " He asked and I threw my arms into the air scoffing.

I couldn't believe he still thought Nolan was my boyfriend.

"Nolan is like a brother to me, in fact he's my brother!" I said and sighed heavily. ''Why would you think he's my boyfriend? Why would you even care if he was my boyfriend? Why-"

"Because I'm jealous okay! I'm fucking jealous! I'm jealous of the fact that you spend more time with him than me even though I'm not worth your time!" He admitted yelling and I flinched as the heavy rain set in and all the candles went off.

"Why would you be jealous huh? Don't you have your girlfriend you feel comfortable with? Huh?" I asked feeling those annoying tears brim in my eyes.

"I only kiss her to forget about you,to know that you'll never love me!" He said.

"Then why did you kiss her right after you kissed me?" I asked asked the rain fell heavily on my shoulders.

"I didn't kiss her and even if I did, it would have only been done to stop thinking about you." He said.

This boy.

I moved closer to him,went on my tiptoes pulled his shirt down and smack my hand across his right cheek.

"This is for hurting me all my life." I said and slapped his left cheek as well

"This is for being stupid."

And another on his right cheek.

"This is for misunderstanding me."

And the last slap on his left cheek.

"This is also for kissing Belinda." I said. I knew nothing effect was made but I wanted to express how I feel.

"Yes madam." He nodded and encircled his hand around my waist. "And this,'' He said huskily and leaning in,"This is for being awesome." Those were his words before he attached his soft lips with mine and the heavy rain mixed with my tears.

I responded to the kiss and he took my legs and I coiled them around his torso and dug my trimmed nails into his wet hair. Whiles my hand was in his hair, his was roaming at my back and when he bit my lower lips hard, I gasped and he slid his tongue into my mouth and deepened the kiss.

Any drop of rain that fell on our face had to evaporate because our faces were completely heated and we were too involved in the kiss to realise. We finally broke away after a while with our foreheads were joined together. The suddenly I heard his deep velvety chuckle and I chuckled breathlessly as well.

We laughed at how silly we had been, denying our needs for each other. I got down from him and we sat on the bench together and the rain splashed on our faces.

"Finally." He said squeezing my hand and I looked up to him.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I have you." He said smiling down at me making me also smile.

"I even thought you and your brother were in a relationship." He said.

I wanted to gape at him but I didn't also want the rain to enter my mouth.

He's more silly than I than I thought.

"I was so stupid...I blame it on jealousy." He shrugged.

"Okay so for instance, if I say you and Daisy were in a relationship, how does it sound to you?" I asked him and he scrunched his face.

"Weird," He countered.

"See, the scenario is mutual." I pointed out.

"But I want to ask a question." He said,

"Shoot."

"What's the name of your crush?" He asked and I smirked.

"I won't tell you." I said like a child.

"Oh come on! tell me." He whined.

"No!" I said stifly.

"If I find that guy,I'll kill him." He threatened.

That'll be suicide!

"That's why I won't tell you," I pouted. I got up and began to run since he was about to pounce on me.

"Pamela!" He yelled chasing after me. I giggled and ran as fast as I could but he caught me and the both of us fell onto the wet grass with him hovering over me.

"Ughhh!"I groaned."You're too heavy!"I grunted.

"Sorry, but I'm not getting up until you tell me who your crush is."He said.

I gripped his chain and pulled his wet face to meet mine.

"Nathaniel you're crushing my bones." I pouted even though he was shielding me from the heavy rain.

"Okay but let me do this." He said and kissed my lips and stood on his feet and helped me up.

"I'm sorry." He said and I looked at him.

"Sorry for?" I asked brushing my wet hair from my face.

"I'm sorry for everything, for hurting you physically and mentally." He apologised and my heart skipped a beat or hundred.

The pang in my heart was removed and I realized there was no need in staying mad at him. that he didn't believe me.

you." I said and he said thank you.

"We need to go,where's your car?" I asked looking around.

"It's at the mechanic."He explained.

"I'll drop you off."I offered.

"But let me drive," He said and picked me up in a bridal way and we began to walk back to the my car.

During our walk, my heart was full of thankfulness towards God. Because I felt like He had dropped a huge amount of joy onto me. And it just felt..surreal.

__________________________________________

❤