Pamela's diary ^

"Dear, these are her car keys, go give it to her." My mum ordered and I nodded taking the keys. I jogged downstairs and placed the keys in my front pocket as I sauntered straight to her.

She was standing at the door of her car, intertwining her fingers and looking on the ground. When I got to her, I moved closer to her making her move back and she placed both palms on the car door. She leaned back her head but I gently brought my hand to her face and brought her closer to me and I rested my forehead on hers.

I wanted to say sorry, but the arrogant me didn't allow me.

And besides,she was even tempting me unknowingly. She had used lip gloss and to add to that, she was biting he lips which I want to bite.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Where are these things coming from? This should not happen, I don't feel anything for her!

"Hi Pamela! "Daisy yelled from above and Pamela's face flushed red. Pulling away from her, I handed her her keys and she drove off as I glared at Daisy who was smirking.

So children too smirk?..

***

"So how was it at your grandma's place?" Angelo asked me.

"Dude, since when did you ask that?" I questioned.

"I don't know..now?" He said. "Oh man,you need to hear this." He said.

"What?" I asked thinking it was something serious.

"Barbie told me Pamela had been missing for days!" He said and I scoffed.

"She was with me at my grandma's." I said almost bragging.

"What?" He gasped. "Did you kiss her?" He asked holding my arms.

I wanted to bro, but each time I get the chance, something had to intefere the moment.

"What? No! why will I kiss someone I don't feel anything for?" I asked and he let go of my arms and gave me a bored look.

"Dude, stop lying,you have feelings for her." He said.

"It's true bro, I don't feel anything for her." I lied.

Wait, lie? I lied?!

"Right, you only feel for Belinda."

So does that girl still even exist?

"Yeah," I lied again.

I lied again! What the fuck is wrong with this day! or me myself?!

We went our separate ways wand I entered my class. Pamela's diary was lying on the desk she was sitting on.

Seizing the opportunity, I moved towards it, took it and read the first entry,

Dear Me,

It's my initial commencement in a different educational institution.I was full of utter glee until I met my unlike.Sadly for me,I somehow admire my unlike.whoa Pamela, it's just a first day,besides,unlike already has his other part so where from that?

Yours,Me.

What the fuck is this? I don't understand any darn thing! What the heck does this mean?

Damn nerds!

I was busy reading through over and over again even though I couldn't understand and she entered and gasped upon seeing her diary in my hands.

I took steps towards her and she took some back until her back was on the wall and I had finally reached her.

"What does this mean?" I asked her.

"You took my diary. " She said quietly.

"Yeah I did, and what does this mean?" I asked her.

"You read my diary." She stated quietly again.

"I asked you a question first." I countered lowly getting angry.

"You went through my private stuff." She lamented and I didn't miss the slight glare in her sharp eyes.

"Answer the question damnit!" I yelled and she flinched and her breathing became shaky as her eyes began to water probably because she was scared. But she blinked, snatched the book from my hand and just walked past me almost shoving me. The action made me feel almost scared.

She turned back, came to the class and grabbed her bag. I was halfway when I opened my mouth say her name before she snapped at me to leave her alone before she walked out of the class leaving me to drown in my thoughts.

***

After making my parents aware that I'm home, I went inside my room, took a shower and laid on my bed and wondered how to get this dull ache off my chest. had been feeling this way ever since school closed and I wanted to find ways and means to get rid of the bad feeling. Apart from it being only physical.. I felt it in my heart and my throat felt lumpy.

I groaned when i heard music playing from my phone..meaning i had a call from an unknown number.

"Hello? who is this?" I asked boredly and the person on the other line scoffed.

"Nathaniel it's me your girlfriend." I heard Belinda's voice. Right after that party, I deleted her number. I don't know something just told me to do so.

"What do you want?" I rolled my eyes.

"You've been ignoring me." She complained.

"Took you long to find out." I scoffed.

"Nathaniel, is it because of that bitch?" She asked.

Is it because of her? Do I feel something for Pamela?

No, I don't

Yes you do!

I don't even know what I feel anymore.

Seeing those tears brim in her eyes smeared guilt all over me again. I felt bad for what I did. I need to stop hurting her.

"Nathaniel!" The bitch yelled.

"You know what just go to hell." I said about to cut the call.

"Listen Nathaniel, Pamela can never ever like you..I mean never! You hurt her so much she can never like you!.." She said trying to brainwash me.

But she was right, Pamela can never like me.

"And I swear Nathaniel, if you leave me to go after that bitch, I won't let you guys be..ever!" She threatened.

"Yeah yeah, are you done now? I need to sleep."

And with that, I cut the call and placed the phone somewhere. I sighed and looked at the ceiling in my room as I heard my door creak and Daisy came inside.

"What Daisy?" I asked her and she pouted.

"I'm scared, can I sleep in your room tonight? " She requested and I sighed.

"Yeah." I replied and she closed the door and moved to lay on my bed. I began to pull the strands of her hair gently thinking over whiles she was rubbing her hands together.

"Nelly?" She called.

"Hm?"

"Our teacher said something today and I don't understand, can you please explain?" She whined.

"What did your teacher say?" I asked her.

"She said,'no matter how much you deny something you know it's true, one day you'll admit it.'" She said. "Please explain." She begged. Her teacher was damn right.

"OK um..it mean..for instance of you like..um..candy and you refuse to admit it..one day you'll admit it." I explained.

"Ohhhhok so does it mean abstract nouns apply? you know the ones like love, hate.."

"Yes."

"Ok..so if you love someone and you know it's true but you keep denying it,one day you'll admit it!" She said and giggled.

"Yeah."I said softly.

"Just like you you love Pamela." She mumbled.

Could this be true? Do I..Do I...

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