I lost my mind, the moment I saw you

Except you, everything get in slow motion

Tell me, if this is love

Sharing and learning countless emotions everyday with you

Fighting, crying and hugging

Tell me, if this is love

- What is love?

"You're being weird." Alexei sighed as Tatiana followed him up the stairs to his spare room where he transformed into his own personal office.

"I'm trying but surely you know why I'm being a bit out of sorts."

"I don't." Alexei closed the door behind him, closing off the Sascha's giggles from below.

Sascha had taken an instant liking to Pen. He had no doubt that she would. He also had been right knowing that Tatiana would take a little longer to warm up to Pen, but he was confident she'd get there.

"Don't you remember what babushka said?" Tatiana's question reeled him from his thoughts.

"Yes, I remember."

"She said you'd find a wild wolf."

Babushka had been right on that one too.

But a strong she-wolf.

Pen did possess a wild wolf, one that she couldn't control. It worried him endlessly, but he had been training with her. There was still little to no improvement, but he had hope. Pen would gain total control of her wolf. They just needed to try harder.

"You don't need to worry about me Tati."

"Which Pack did she come from before she became a Recruit and joined the Elite Syndicate?"

Alexei sat at his desk, clasping his hands together upon the surface. Tatiana was halfway sitting on the armchair. Her pose emulated his.

"She didn't come from a Pack."

"W-what?"

"She had no Pack, she was-"

"-she was a Rogue." Tatiana whispered, stunned.

Alexei drew in a breath and nodded, "Yes, she was a Rogue."

"Babushka was right."

"She never was wrong." Alexei agreed.

"Does she know what happened to Mama and Papa?" Tatiana asked so quietly, he almost didn't catch her words.

Alexei shook his head, "I haven't gotten to explaining that to her yet."

"She has to know soon Alex."

"I know."

"Does she also know about the other things? Like you being deemed the Rogue Killer and all?"

"Only half. I haven't yet spoke to her about the other reasons I had for hunting down Rogues."

"You have to tell her Alex. It's important to our story. Your mate should know these things."

"I will. Things just have been haywire here."

Tatian blew out a sigh, "It's good to see you bratt. Babushka misses you deeply. You should drop in soon. She's getting older and crankier. She absolutely hates my cooking and reminds me of it every time I put something in front of her."

"You sure it's edible?"

Tatiana groaned, "I have improved Alex, seriously. Maybe I can cook dinner or something."

Alex laughed. "No, you might burn down my kitchen and I haven't had this place for long."

"True, I guess I'll leave the food preparations to you." His sister didn't sound disappointed at all.

"Tell babushka that I'll visit soon once a few things are finished here. Jude just needs all hands-on deck until two more duels are finished."

"She'll be happy to hear that."

"I've missed you Tati."

"I missed you more Kotya."

The endearment made him laugh. It would be a miracle the day Tatiana decided to relinquish her fondness of the word. He had long detested it, but he had become used to it.

***

Sascha was an endless stream of words.

In the last thirty minutes, I learnt that she did not like soggy cornflakes. She lived near the cliff edge with her grandma and sister. Her grandma was the Oracle of their Pack and been long before Alexei left to enter the ranks of the Elite Syndicate.

Sascha also felt it paramount to let me know that she had the biggest crush on some boy named Rayne, not R-A-I-N but R-A-Y-N-E as she adamantly stated the last five times. She told me not to tell Alexei since she was sure he'd come and threaten the poor kid away.

I simply laughed when she mentioned it.

"How about you? What do you like about my brother? I can't imagine him having a mate because he's ew."

"Ew?" I buried my need to laugh.

"Yeah, he stinks. When he used to live with us, he was always playing sports. All the girls liked to watch him play. When he came home, he always smelled like sweat and dirt." She scrunched her nose, "He always stuffed my face under his pits too. Gave me nightmares for days on end. I'm still suffering symptoms of PTSD."

I laughed.

"Rayne doesn't smell though. He smells like candy." A wistful expression came over her.

"Wow, this Rayne guy must be something."

"He's everything." She sighed, "Now, what do you like about my brother?" She turned to me, raising a brow. "I'm not going to drop this topic until I get a feel of what you're feeling."

I felt my face heat up under her gaze. Since Alexei was upstairs with Tatiana, I felt a little braver than usual to confess my feelings.

There was an easy-going nature Sascha possessed, it would make anyone spill their secrets.

"You won't tell Alexei, will you?" I asked.

She tapped her chin in thought. "No, I won't."

"Okay then, all my secrets are yours now." I smiled at her.

She beamed, rolling onto her back as she lifted her legs into the air.

I flipped onto my back and stared at the ceiling, tapping my fingers along my belly.

"Come on Pen, I'm waiting here with bated breath."

"I like his body."

Sascha laughed aloud, "Ew." Her hands slapped my side. I could only laugh louder.

"I'm joking, well not really. He does have a nice body but it's more than that."

"Stop talking about his body. Ew."

"Ok, calm down, no need to go into a fit of panic." I studied the ceiling with a smirk. It was fun riling her up.

"Come on, I already told you all about Rayne. Now it's your turn to tell me about what you like so much about Alex. I'll just pretend you're talking about another guy who isn't my brother, so I'm not totally grossed out."

"I don't know where to start." I said truthfully.

"Was it like love at first sight or something?" She asked.

"Not really."

"Then how was it like? Who liked who first? Come on Pen, stop holding out on me here."

"I liked him first." I confessed, "Of course, I heard about him ripping a were bear in half with his bare hands. At the time, he was just a stranger with a cool story."

"Babushka still gives him crap about the attention he's gotten from that."

"I can imagine. As part of a tasks Recruits had to do as part of their training, I had to Shadow Alexei for some time. He was hard on me. Told me how things were to be. I liked that he didn't sugar coat things but on the other hand, he probably didn't like me following him around like a lost puppy. When Alexei focuses, he really puts all his attention into it. I was well aware that I was a nuisance, not only because I was basically an amateur but because I did throw a lot of sass in his direction. I guess I liked riling him up."

Sascha giggled, "Kotya has gotten a lot of sass from Tati and I all his life. I would say babushka gives him the most stress. She's always nagging him to give her some great grandkids already ever since he was officiated as an Elite Syndicate Enforcer."

"She sounds like someone I'd want to meet."

"She'll want to see you too. She'll probably comment on your pink highlights though."

"I'm open for some self-improvements." I laughed.

"So, you and Kotya?" She raised her brow, smirking.

"After the task ended and I didn't see Alexei as much, I kind of missed his surliness. He was always occupied with Pack business but for some reason, we had moments where we would cross paths. They were usually short, but they stuck with me, you know?"

"Then what happened?"

"It didn't take me long to start liking him. I don't exactly know when it started but it just happened. I wasn't prepared."

"And?" Sascha rolled to her stomach, propping her chin on her palms as she glanced down at me from above. I was still flat on my back, staring at the ceiling. However, her cuteness distracted me from the plain surface.

"Nothing much really."

"What?" Sascha gasped, "No, that's not how it's supposed to go."

"What is what supposed to go?"

"Your love story. Didn't you tell him you liked him?"

"Nope."

This time, Sascha was beyond horrified. "I thought you liked him?!"

I shrugged, "I did but it seemed like he had a girlfriend or something. I saw them kissing one time."

Sascha scrunched up her face, "I'm going to kill him. Argh!"

"It's not your brother's fault. I just wasn't going to put myself into some unnecessary drama. I didn't think I was ready to even tell him that I had feelings for him, especially if he was dating some other woman."

"So, you guys just what, walked by each other and you said nothing about your feelings?"

I thought about it for a few seconds, "Yes, that's exactly what happened."

Sascha groaned into her palms, "I'm sorry but that's messed up. I don't like this story."

"It is what it is." I shrugged.

"Well, obviously something had happened. You two are mates now." She pointedly stated.

"My ankle was injured on the Full Moon. Alexei helped me out. He even reset the broken bone for me so when I changed into my wolf, it healed properly."

"Lovely, now skip to the good bits. Did you two find out you were mates then?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I was washing the dishes and then something just snapped into place. I can't really explain it well, but I felt Alexei in a way that transcended understanding or words."

"And then you guys made out right?"

I guffawed. "No, we didn't."

Sascha shook her head, bewildered as she massaged the bridge of her nose. "This has to be the lamest love story I've ever heard. It's not even tear jerking. I've read hallmark cards that made me tear up from the utter adorableness of it."

"I apologise Miss Vasiliev if my mating story doesn't tick all your boxes. I hadn't realised I was in the running for a prize for the best love story to be ever told throughout the Territories."

She pinched my cheek, "If I was running a competition, you would rank at least second-"

"Oh really? That's pretty sweet of you-"

"-from the bottom of the list."

"You bitch."

Sascha's eyes widened.

I blinked, stunned. I slapped my palm over my lips.

Was it too late to take back my words?

This was why I couldn't hang out with kids. I didn't think Alexei would approve of me calling his baby sister the almighty B-word.

Sascha suddenly flung her head back and laughed. "You should have seen your face!" She cried out, rolling onto her back.

I sighed, running a hand down my face, "Yeah yeah, laugh it up."

"You still haven't told me why you love Alex." She said as her laughs faded into a sigh.

"I haven't?"

"No, now tell me why you love my brother so much?" She demanded.

Love?

Did I love Alexei?

Was it too fast to know?

I knew I liked him, a lot, but love?

I could feel Sascha waiting in anticipation.

I didn't even know if I had a good enough reason.

All I knew for sure was that Alexei made me feel good.

I didn't think too much on my words as I expressed myself to my lone audience, "My little crush began because of the way Alexei treated me."

"Treat you how?"

"He treated me like any other Recruit."

"Huh?" Sascha blinked, unimpressed.

"Some people change their perception of me once they find out that I used to be a Rogue. It was worse when I was one, especially amongst the other Recruits. I'd expected everyone to treat me a little differently. I think I was surprised that none of the Elite Syndicate Enforcers gave a shit whether I was a Rogue or not. They had the same expectations for me as they had for the others. Yet, with Alexei, it was different. He saw Penelope before he saw the Rogue girl. Gave me hell for slacking but still gave me feedback on how to improve myself when we had to complete tasks. He was fair."

"That's Kotya, always doing things his way but the right way."

"I haven't told him this, but I almost quit. I thought about it so much, I was ready to just leave. I didn't know him well and I wasn't close with the Luna or Kian, my friends, as I am today, so it felt weird for me to approach them with my baggage. I was on my way to the complex where the Recruits were staying when I stumbled across Alexei. I don't know how but he read me like a book. He just knew I was done. You know what he said to me?"

"What did he say?"

"He asked me if I liked running away when things got hard."

It had made me angry.

He didn't shut his mouth just there though. He also told me that I had come a long way just to waste time.

That had also made me beyond furious.

So, I stayed out of stubbornness.

Until I found a purpose to stay.

"He made me so angry that night, I imagined so many ways I could beat him up. Trust me, they were pretty messed up. I probably needed to meet with a psychologist."

"But you stayed."

"I know and it seems so crazy to me. I genuinely didn't think I had a future. When Seamus, one of the Scouts, found me, I hadn't realised how much of blessing in disguise he was. He's the reason I ended up here. He scouted me and then suddenly, I was training to be an Enforcer, fighting for a spot to be part of a Pack."

"That's beautiful Pen." Sascha's expression had softened.

"I know." We shared a knowing smile.

"I'm glad Alexei has you now. He needs someone like you. I think you and I will get along fine." Sascha smiled wide.