"Hmm, I was hoping there would be more of them to confirm my theory." Jude pursed his lips, reading through the written report Jamison had swiftly scribbled up between leaving the mountain and arriving back at the Pack. In all honesty, I couldn't make out a single word when he asked both Alexei and I to review the document. His handwriting was awful. "Nothing else you caught up there aside from the three poisoned changelings?"

"No." I shook my head, disappointed. "We scouted the place three more times in the morning before we left and found nothing."

"We'll let it rest for now. We have the Full Moon in two days. Everyone is preparing for it." Jude closed the report, placing it on the surface of his neat desk. "If you don't mind, I'd like you three guarding the borders with the other Enforcers stationed there. I don't want to risk any surprises while the Pack enjoy their time out."

I sighed inwardly. It wasn't that I didn't like the Full Moon event. It just made me uncomfortable knowing that the Moon Goddess could bond two wolves together and say, 'Yeah, they should be mates.'

At one point in my life, I'd thought mates were the best thing that could happen to any lucky wolf but now, I was uncertain. The reality of it freaked me out.

Did the deity have a list of things she took into consideration when she decided to put two people together?

The Shadow Hunters Pack anticipated the event like Christmas. They gathered on the vast fields of rolling greens to watch the full moon rise. The men would soon set up spots to ignite bright blazing fires where they'll gather around to feel the heat. In the mix, they'd sing and dance while they nibbled on home-made treats until the moon reached its highest peak in the night sky to bless two wolves with the gift of a true mate bond.

Since I had entered the Pack, I had been amused by the celebrations. I had witnessed a few several mating bonds form under the full moon but with the last Full Moon events, no one from the Shadow Hunters Pack had been bonded. It had to be the reason I noted more men and women were more unsettled than usual in the Pack. They were all high on the chance of a possible mating bond happening in the near future and that excited them.

According to Aella, the Blue Cave Pack never paid the Full Moon event much heed. It was probably the only reason anyone from the Pack never bothered to search for a newly mated pair. Alpha Bennett disliked talking about it since his story hadn't been all that great.

Alexei had mentioned in passing that Alpha Bennett was being suspiciously quiet. It wasn't something I should've heard considering the words were for Jamison, but that man had been an evil menace according to Kian and Aella. We'd never caught word of him in almost a year nor his sons. After what had happened with Allison, Jude and Tatum were constantly on guard.

Alpha Bennett was unpredictable and the fact that the man was eerily silent was not a good sign at all.

"We'll cover it." Jamison replied promptly, answering for us all.

"Thank you." Jude stood as we exited.

***

"Wow, you almost took me down." Absolute pride shone on Aella's face. She pinched my cheek with a laugh as I pretended to slap her head. She deftly dodged the hit, claiming her bottle on the ground, taking a gulp. The woman's hair was all tangled around her shoulders with leaves hiding in the thick locks but when she glanced over at me, she beamed wide.

I huffed out a laugh, wiping the sweat from my brow, "You almost broke my leg again." I grabbed my cool drink of water from the ground, taking a long swig. I probably would have to ice the thing when I got home since I could feel a bruise coming on.

"That's because you didn't listen and left your leg exposed. Again."

Damn, she was right but I felt giddy knowing I was improving. Years ago, I wouldn't have been able to dream about knowing this much about combat.

Sure, I had used my fists for defence, but I never had the refined skills Aella had in her arsenal. My type of fighting was merely derived from desperation and survival. There was no skill in it whatsoever. I knew there was a silent honour code when it came to sparring but that meant shit to me when I could simply use fear and adrenaline as my booster.

"Tell me what's distracting you?" She asked, sitting down and turning her face to the sun. The move was so feline, I knew her wolf was simmering at the surface of her skin. I felt a jolt of envy from the complete control she possessed over her wolf. I could only dream of being able to do that. I wanted to ask her how she did it but for some reason, I let the words get swallowed up again.

I sprawled by her feet, soaking in the warmth, "I'm not distracted."

"Sure. I'd believe you if I hadn't known you and Alexei went up to the mountains together." She sang, wiggling her brows suggestively.

"Jamison was there too." I countered. "You're the one who asked me to go!"

"Right, but he might as well have been a speck of dust when you're around Alexei."

"Moon Goddess above Aella, nothing happened between us up in the mountains. If something did happen, I wouldn't bother trying anything with Jamison nearby. That man scares me."

"I don't believe you."

"Well, you best believe that I didn't do anything."

"So, you didn't get to see the guy naked?"

I stumbled over my response because technically, Alexei had been naked at one point after he had shed his wolf. Like a good gentlewoman with manners, I hadn't let my eyes slide below his shoulder blades. It had been a trial, but I managed to keep my wondering gaze from going too far.

Aella choked on laughter, misinterpreting my sudden silence. "So you did see him naked." She accused, erupting into loud cackles.

I couldn't even bother defending myself as I chuckled under my breath.

***

It was close to nine at night when a knock rattled my front door.

I frowned, rubbing my eyes. I had been dozing off, listening to the soft hum of music playing through my earphones. I switched it off and the echo of the note died instantly, leaving silence. I stretched my arms over my head, clicking out the stiffness along my back. I patted the edge of my lip, checking that I hadn't drooled before I treaded to the door.

"Hey." Alexei greeted

I gaped up at him and glanced down at my clothes, relieved that I was decent. It wasn't cute by any means, just a pair of track pants paired off with a large hoodie. "Uh, hi."

What more could I say to the man?

Alexei never visited me at my home.

The last time I'd seen him had been this morning. In all honestly, I expected him to be doing some important things by now. The seven men that formed part of Alpha Slater's circle were always occupied; it was hard to get a hold of them most times.

But Alexei was here. On my porch.

"Can I come in?" He asked, scanning the general area above my shoulder.

His words didn't sink in until he took a step closer, where the tip of his combat boots nudged the frame of the door. I practically leaped into action, switching the light on and taking a quick sweep of the living space. I was only distantly aware that Alexei had let himself in when his feet creaked along the floorboards. A soft click sounded, alerting me that he had just locked the door behind him.

His heady scent immediately wrapped around me, and my body reacted unwillingly.

This man was going to kill me, and he didn't even know it.

I beckoned him over to the lounge seats, "Have a seat."

"Thanks." He took the one closest to the flickering flames.

I moved to the kitchen, grabbing two mugs, "Want something to drink?"

"Anything is fine." He replied, staring into the dancing flames.

I dutifully prepared two mugs of hot chocolate, adding tiny pink and white marshmallows in mine. I hesitated with putting some in his but decided to just take the little packet with me on the off chance he did enjoy extra sweetness. I handed his mug to him to which he whispered a low whisper of gratitude. I took the bean bag a metre away from his feet, noting he had slipped off his boots and was proudly sporting a pair of solid hot pink socks.

I blinked, pausing the warm mug against my lips. "Nice socks."

Those dark eyes dropped to his feet. "Ah, fuck."

I snorted.

He waved a nonchalant hand to his feet, "Emerys gave these to me last year for my birthday."

"Well, it brings out the brown in your eyes." I smirked, tipping the mug until the sweet drink spilled into my mouth.

He watched me from over the edge of his matching mug, eyes intense, "That's what I thought when I put them on."

I choked on my drink, coughing. His deep chuckle rose as he released a sigh, relaxing back into the seat as he spread his elbows along the armrests. "I have a proposition for you Penelope."

I squinted up at him, "Hmm, sounds sexual." It was a miracle I kept a blank face on.

Alexei shook his head with a low groan, swiping a big hand down his face, "I'm not propositioning you in that way."

I casually shrugged, tightening my grip on the warm ceramic cupped between my palms. I was not going to tell him that I might have agreed if he had offered but only if he added chocolate syrup into the deal. However, that was something I had to slip into my 'never-going-to-happen' file in my brain for another time to contemplate. "Then what exactly are you asking for Alexei?"

"I want to help you."

"Okay." I side-eyed him, wondering if he really wasn't propositioning me in that way he earlier refused.

"With your wolf." He clarified.

I placed my drink by my feet, "You want to help me with my wolf?"

"Yes. I think- I know I can help." He amended.

"Those are some brave words Enforcer dude."

He instantly scowled, "Don't call me that. It makes me sound like a pre-pubescent kid who doesn't know what he's talking about."

I drummed my fingers along my chin, pondering the thought for only a second before yielding an answer, "No thank you."

"Great, I think- wait. Penelope." He placed his mug on the floor.

"I appreciate you wanting to help and all but I'm not comfortable with letting my wolf out, especially around you."

"Why?" He demanded, moving to the edge of his chair, flexing his fingers.

"Let's not do this Alexei. I don't know why you want to help me. I'm not even sure you can help my wolf. She's difficult to control and I'm the one who is supposed to be able to do that, but I just can't. I don't want her running off around the Pack either in case she does something I can't stop." I explained, "I really don't know how she'll react."

"She didn't hurt me last night." The man noted. I had recognised the same thing, but I didn't want to confess it. "If you're scared, she'll run and hurt people in the Pack, you can trust me to keep her far away from them."

I knew that too, but he didn't get that I was ashamed to let him see me so weak and not in control of my wolf. I didn't want him to see that again. Last night, the adrenaline of the poisoned changelings had lowered my inhibitions and shame but now that I wasn't high on emotions and clear-headed, I wondered how in the hell I let Alexei see that particular part of me. "It's not that." I muttered, standing. I took his cup and mine to the sink, but he followed me into the kitchen.

"Then tell me." He prompted quietly.

I fought my emotions.

For some reason, I had trusted Alexei enough last night to let my wolf out.

If I had done it once, I could do it again. Maybe.

I just needed to trust Alexei enough to let my wolf surface. I scrubbed the mugs clean with dishwashing liquid and set them to the side, sighing, "Why do you want to help me?"

When I faced him, he had positioned himself near the cupboards- arms crossed and his expression seeking. "I wish I had an answer Penelope, but I don't have a clear cut one. At least, not one that makes sense."

I considered his words for a long minute. This would be good for me, but I couldn't help but wonder if there was something else he wasn't telling me.

I could acknowledge that I needed help with my wolf. Alexei obviously had good control of his. There would be something to learn from him.

Was I that desperate for help?

Yes. Yes, I was.

The only option was to fall prey to the horrible fear of becoming a senseless Rogue. I had a Pack now. I could lean on other Pack mates even if I naturally repelled away from the idea.

I wasn't a Rogue anymore, even if my brain hadn't caught up with it yet.

I exhaled deeply, nodding. "I accept."