Anger

Jealousy

Rage

Fury

Betrayed

These were all the emotions I was feeling right now as I stared at the two with upmost inflamed madness. I was infuriated as their lips met, the lips that belonged to me, the lips that I was first to touch. My heart was flaming with fire, burning its way through my body causing a heat of wrath to explode. I wanted to run up there, push him of her and kill him right there and then.

How dare he touch her?

How dare he kiss my Eyshana?

The image killed me...it fucking hurt seeing her with someone else who wasn't me but what hurt more was when I saw her responding to his kiss.

How could she kiss him back?

Did I have a right to question her like that?

My eyes burnt as I looked away immediately with fresh tears leaving my eyes. I felt betrayed and cheated but I had no right to feel that way.

An image of me kissing a girl in front of Eyshana flashed in front of my eyes. If this is how I feel seeing her intimate with another guy, then what would she have felt when she saw me kissing that girl and insulting her in front of the whole college, accusing her as a cheater?

I was disgusted but more than that I was hurt, I was in pain. I wanted to punch that Officer. My hands and jaw were clenched but I needed to control myself. I needed to prove myself in Eyshana's eyes, I needed to prove that I have changed, that I regret everything I did 10 years ago. I need her in my life and no way in hell am I losing her to that bastard.

I felt suffocated and the pain in my chest wasn't helping. I felt like someone was squeezing my heart in their hand tightly causing my breathing to increase. I felt my stomach churn at the sight as I gathered my strength to look at them again. I felt my nails digging into my skin watching him nuzzle his nose into her neck while she laid there in the cold white snow, her hands caressing his hair while having a shocked look on her face.

Do you like him Eyshana? d-do you l-love him? Are you happy with him? D-do you still have feelings for me my beauty?

I wanted to ask these questions but now wasn't the right time. I needed to work hard to gain her back and knowing this Officer was up to something, I need to prove myself good in her eyes and with that thought I turned around before glancing back once last time. I quickly turned away and walked on feeling a bullet piercing my chest seeing him devour her lips madly.

My mind went back to when I took her first kiss, her lips were so sweet, so soft and addictive. Her cheeks blushed, her eyes shut tightly as she slowly responded to my kiss and knowing that the bastard got to taste my girl, it fucking tore me apart.

I couldn't control my emotions, my blood was boiling. The image of the two kissing was perpetual in my mind and I couldn't help but run. I ran not caring about the slippy cold snow beneath my feet. I was bailed out a week ago and Preeti forced me to rest but I was etching to meet her, my beauty and here I was wanting to meet her but unfortunately I found the image to my nightmare, the fear that always struck me, the fear of someone taking my beauty, my Eyshana away from me.

I stopped at an alleyway and punched the brick wall not caring about my torn skin. Gritting my teeth, I placed my forehead against the cold wall, my eyes closed as I controlled my breathing before punching the wall once again.

"You can't do this to me Eyshana, you c-can't" my voice trembled as I tugged onto my hair. His lips on her haunted me, it made me choke. "Y-you c-can't" I slid to the ground crying into my hands. I can't lose her.

***

"It seems like you really don't care about me Ezhil, what am I even saying? you don't even care about yourself, just look at your hand. Your skin is torn and here you are just glaring at the damn wall....are you even listening to me Ezhil?" Preeti scolded me while wrapping my bleeding knuckles with bandages.

"Yes Preeti...I can hear you" I stated uninterested in her lecture. She sighed loudly before placing the first aid box on the table. "I'm not going to even ask you how you got that injury because I know you won't tell me, anyways Sunny asked about you and he wants to meet you"

"I don't want to meet him" I stood up and walked off towards my bedroom. "Just stop Ezhil and hear me out. You can't keep running away from your problems, you can't stay away from them for too long. Just meet-"

"I said I don't want to meet him" I cut her off coldy.

"You're a coward Ezhil"

"YES I AM A COWARD...ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW? " I yelled making her flinch. "Stop nagging me 24/7 and leave me the fuck alone" I spat with irritation before entering my room and slamming the door shut. I kicked the table in front of me with anger, my breath heavy and fast as I fell flat on my bed. "UGHHH" I groaned as the image of Eyshana and Malin played in front of my eyes mocking me.

Tugging on my hair I sat up pinching the bridge of my nose. I shouldn't have said that to her, she is my sister, she is only looking out for me and here I was acting like a jerk. I felt bad for yelling at her but I just had so much on my mind and with her always at my back, it was just too much. Standing up, I left my room in search of Preeti. I heard quiet sobs coming from the kitchen making me regret the words I threw at her. "Preeti" I called out walking towards her as she quickly wiped her tears, pretending to be fine.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have yelled at you...I...I was stressed" I apologised feeling guilty for my behaviour. "No...it's my fault and you are right, I do always nag you 24/7 instead of giving you space and I'm sorry for that...I just worry about you too much, but I guess that annoys you and I'm sorry-"

"Stop Preeti...gosh I'm so sorry" I hugged her feeling awful seeing her tears. "I'm such a horrible brother for not appreciating the care from my sister. I'm sorry Preeti, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, I know you were looking out for me, caring for me since we are each others only family and I love you...I'm sorry for hurting you, I didn't mean to say those words and you are right about calling me a coward, I am a coward, I don't even have guts to face my friends" I pulled back wiping away her tears.

She sniffled, her eyes looking down. "No, you are not a coward, I didn't mean to call you that, I'm so sorry" "Shhh...it's okay don't apologise and please don't cry, I don't like seeing tears in my lovely sister's eyes" I wiped her tears as more fell out. "You want me to meet Sunny right? okay let's go and meet him" I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the kitchen. "Wait...are you sure?" she asked stopping me in my tracks. No Preeti, I am not ready and I don't think I'll ever will be. I really wanted to say that but instead I said "you said I shouldn't run away from my problems right? so here I am, facing my problems and the people I have hurt so come on, let's go"

"No...not now, we will go tomorrow...I want you to rest now and please, don't hurt yourself again, this is like my 10th time I am wrapping you with bandages, so go upstairs and rest" she pointed towards the stairs making me salute her.

"Yes Ma'am"

***

"You can't keep standing there Ezhil" Preeti nudged me. "I can't...I can't do it" I blew out feeling nervous. "Ezhil" she groaned with defeat. "Just-" she pinched the bridge of her nose "just try okay? everything will be fine" I heard her say. I was here, standing outside Sunny's hospital room. From what I've heard from the doctors, he was doing much well and will be dismissed soon but I was scared to face him. What if he hates me?

"Okay," I replied, my shaky hand reaching out for the door handle. With courage, I pushed down the handle opening up the door. "Ezhil" his voice spoke with surprise but I kept my gaze low. "Ezhil, dude where have you been all this time? you didn't once meet me and why the hell are you looking down?" he rambled.

I kept quiet, tears threatening to fall out of my eyes. Why isn't he blaming me or shouting at me?. "Preeti, has your brother lost his memories, or has he become deaf?" his voice was calm. "Ezhil...why are you not talking to me? Preeti told me you were dismissed from the hospital yet you didn't once come and meet me, why?"

Why was he speaking to me with such calmness? his voice was too calm...way too calm like...like he had given up? he should be screaming at me, blaming me but...

"I'm sorry" I muttered.

"What?" I slowly raised my eyes to look at him. His face was etched with confusion as his eyes flickered between me and Preeti. Swiftly his eyes grew and shaking his head he sighed running a hand through his hair. "Damn it" he hissed. "Ezhil...it wasn't your fault-" "but it was Sunny...it was and why are you talking to me in this tone? you should be pissed, I nearly fucking killed you all" I exploded.

Silence

"But we are still alive-" "yeah and what if you weren't? what if-" I cut him off. "Well we are alive, aren't we? we are not dead, we survived so stop thinking about something that has happened in the past"

"Well thanks to Eyshana you are alive or else you wouldn't be breathing right now" I blurted out making Sunny shocked. "W-what?" Sighing I closed my eyes tight, allowing more tears to leave my eyes before I opened them again. "You were going to die, your blood group wasn't available in this hospital and you needed a donor to donate you some blood. Fortunately at that time Eyshana came and donated her blood to you. Her blood is running in your veins now, she saved you from death" I explained.

Sunny was shocked. His face was blank and mouth slightly open ajar. "Eyshana saved me but why?" he questioned himself. Just then he placed his hands on his head like he was in pain. "Sunny" me and Preeti called out to him in concern as we sat beside him with worry.

"I heard her" he whispered making me confused. "Who?" I asked perplexed. He looked at me with wide eyes before saying "Eyshana, she....she told me to wake up, that I had to live...I heard her while I was in coma" he mumbled. I looked at Preeti who gave me a worried look before looking back at Sunny.

Suddenly, a devoid of laughter left his lips while running his hands over his face. "What's so funny?" I asked him. "She didn't save me" he whispered making me frown. "You know what my biggest punishment is Ezhil? to live alone with guilt for the rest of my life knowing that I was the reason behind my Riya's death, my baby's death. She didn't save me Ezhil, she threw me towards the darkness itself. Eyshana is tough woman, she won't me escape so easily" he chuckled. "I want to be with my Riya, whenever I close my eyes I see myself with her, in a different world with only me, her and our child. No one else but us. I want to be with her, I want to go to her, I have no purpose in life anymore and knowing if I had died, I would have got that escape, that happiness by leaving this world" he teary eyes met mine. "I would have been saved, if I had breathed my last" he whispered.

I stood there still taking in his words. He wanted leave, my friend wanted die and leave us?. "S-sunny" I chocked, ashamed of myself for his state. "This is all my fault" "Stop blaming yourself Ezhil, just stop. I also know everything that has happened to you while I was in a coma, I know what you tried to do to yourself" my eyes snapped towards him.

I looked at Preeti giving her an accusing look. "I'm sorry" she whispered. "Don't look at her like that? how long? how long was it going to take you to actually come and face me?, would you even come if Preeti didn't push you to?" he asked with hurt.

I stayed silent not knowing what to say. Would I have actually gathered my guts and met him if Preeti didn't push me? I didn't even know the answer myself. "I guess I have my answer" he commented taking my silence as an answer. "You don't understand Sunny, I was the cause of all this, if only I listened to you all, we would not have been here" I tried to explain while my eyes gazed at the floor. "You're right Ezhil, you are the cause of all this" he hissed causing my head to snap at him with shock. His words stung but he was right, he was finally admitting I was the cause of all this.

"If only you believed in Eyshana if only you didn't act like a monster, if only you actually loved her, if only you weren't a fucking sex addict machine, if only...you were a decent human being we wouldn't be here"

I was speechless and taken aback. My mouth was slightly opened but no words left. I know what I did was wrong, truly and utterly wrong but...but was I that bad?. His words were spitting out with disgust but his face was pale and dull, increasing the self loath inside me, building up as he continued. "But what's the point of blaming yourself for something that happened in the past? what are you going to get by blaming yourself? As you can see Eyshana has already moved on, she wants nothing to do with you or with us, blaming yourself will do nothing so just...let it go Ezhil...let it go" he whispered at the end with sadness. "We are alive, yeah we have a few injuries here and there but we are still breathing, so just let it go Ezhil," he said.

I looked at him with disbelief. How could he even say that? "Are you really saying that? you Sunny Edwards?" I scoffed. "The person who is the reason behind his child and love's death is telling me to let it go? wow, Sunny" a devoid of laughter left my lips until I realized what I said. A pool of regret flowed inside me as I examined his shocked and hurtful look. "Sunny...I didn't m-" "you are right" he cut me off making me feel even more guilty.

"You are right Ezhil" he smiled sadly. "and yes I still do blame myself because I am the reason why she killed herself. I am murderer Ezhil, the girl who I loved and still love to this day is dead but Eyshana, she is still alive, breathing and successful after everything we have put her through. If Riya was also alive with our child then I would have also been happy. Yes I hurt her, yes I cheated on her, yes I betrayed her but as long as she is alive, that's all that matters to me. If she doesn't want to be with me, then that's fine, as long as I can see her alive and happy. I will accept that and allow the punishment of me not being with her to stay with me till my grave but she isn't alive, she is dead, buried deep down where I can't even meet her yet you can still see and talk to the girl you love while I can't" he explained.

"Yet I can't have her, she doesn't even want to see my face" I stated remembering the horrifying scene I saw yesterday. I was on the verge of going crazy but what was I even saying, I was already crazy...for her.

"and that's why I am telling you to let go because deep down you also know you have lost her Ezhil...she isn't yours anymore...and you have to accept that"

My blood boiled at his words. What the fuck did he mean by she isn't mine anymore? Eyshana Roy was, is, and will always be mine. "Being angry won't do anything Ezhil, that girl isn't the same girl we knew 10 years ago" he said with a blank face. "but for me, she is still the same girl I love...and I won't give up on her, love me or not, I don't care but she can't leave me, not now, not ever" I spat turning around on my heels to walk away.

"Just let it go Ezhil...you have already caused too much chaos in all of our lives, don't create another mess" I froze at his words. He is right, I may have caused chaos but I will make everything right. We have suffered for too long now and I'm tired but I won't stop fighting and with that thought, I left the room. "Where are you going?" Preeti asked. "To Farhan"

***

Farhan's POV

Silence is all I heard and darkness is all I saw.

I placed my hands out but I couldn't see them. I touched my sheets but I couldn't see it. I closed my eyes I saw darkness, I opened my eyes I saw darkness. My life was just surrounded by darkness now. The light had vanished, it was stolen, snatched away from me and it was all because of him. He was the reason why I was blind today...I hate him...I fucking hate him.

I felt tears rushing down my cheeks, my hands reaching out quickly to wipe them away. I could never get my eyesight back. My life had already ended when I lost the light in my life. I was scared, scared of the never-ending darkness circling me, it felt like I was trapped in a world of demons and monsters, a world where I could never escape from. The only sounds I could hear were screams and only screams, screams of a girl, a girl I knew...a girl I broke.

My thoughts were cut off when I heard the door to my room opening. I kept my ears open as I heard footsteps coming closer to me. "Who is there?" I asked while my hands clenched beneath my sheets. "Farhan...it's me". A heat of anger traveled through my veins as I heard the voice of the man who I now despise.

"I-" "Don't fucking touch me" I hissed feeling his hand on my shoulder. I assumed he pulled his hand back as I didn't feel his hand on my shoulder anymore. "I'm sorry Farhan...I'm s-so sorry" his voice trembled.

"You sorry won't bring my eyesight back you fucker. If I could see you right now, I swear down I would have fucking killed you right here without any remorse" I spat. I heard him gasp followed by a few sobs. "Get out" I gritted.

"F-Farhan ple" "GET THE FUCK OUT...GET OUT...YOU FUCKING RUINED MY LIFE, YOU BASTARD...JUST FUCKING GET LOST" I yelled with anger. "Farhan please listen to me...plea-" this fucker. "I fucking hate you...I hope you die Ezhil...I hope you fucking die...GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW BEFORE-" I placed my hand on my chest feeling a burning sensation spread. I coughed, my chest hurting as I heard a repetition of beeps. "Shit...doctor...doctor" I heard Ezhil yell and soon after that I felt hands over me and yelling of a man who I assumed was the doctor.

I felt something being placed over my mouth helping me to breathe properly until my head started to feel heavy."P-please doesn't do this....please.....I beg you" I heard a familiar cry before my eyes closed.

Ezhil's POV

"AHH" I punched the wall with anger not caring about my wounds from yesterday. "AHHHHHHHHHH" I punched it again wanting to break something. I deserve it...I fucking deserve it then why does it hurt? it hurts so much...so much. I slid down to the floor, gripping onto my hair as I cried. The bandage around his eyes suffocated me...it was yelling at me that this was my fault. His words echoed in my ears. He hated me, he wanted me to die.

"Never imagined seeing 'THE' Ezhil Mital who was challenging me a few days ago crying on the floor like a small child, oh what a sight to see" I froze at the taunt being thrown at me. My hands were fisted, my eyes burning with anger as I glared at the ground. Slowly raising my eyes I glared hardly at the bastard standing in front of me with a devilish smirk on his lips. Not the right time you fucker. I thought to myself.

His lips on hers was all I could see but now seeing him in front of me all I saw was RED.