"Why are you doing this to me? to us? why Sona? why?" I pleadingly asked moving closer to her only for her to flinch taking a step away from me. It fucking hurt...it killed seeing her move away from me like that. "Sona" I stepped forward. "Just stop" her eyes were tightly closed allowing tears to trickle down her cheeks. "I can't do this Vicky...I can't...I can't ruin your life like this" her teary eyes met mine.

"Why are talking like that Sona? we are supposed to be together...you are mine and I am yours...what happened to that?" I furiously wiped my escaping tear. "Why do you keep pushing me away? why don't you talk to me properly? why do you keep ignoring? just why?" I asked with pain trying to move closer but the more I moved closer the more steps she took back.

Groaning, I pulled on my hair with frustration. "For fuck-sake Sona, WILL YOU EVEN ANSWER ME?" I yelled causing her to flinch. Fuck, I just scared her. "I'm sorry Sona, I didn't mean to yell at you...I...I don't why you are doing this? did I do something wrong for you to keep pushing me away? please Sona...just answer me" I practically begged.

Its been a few weeks since Sona has been ignoring me and I don't know why. It makes me feel like I have done something bad to hurt her but the question I ask myself is 'what did I do?', what did I do to hurt her, for her to push me away. Every time I try to talk to her she always ignores me, walks away, or just stays silent.

After being informed about her fainting when finding the news about our accident I was crushed. I wanted to meet her immediately but because of my leg, I couldn't move let alone leave the bed. I patiently waited thinking she would come to meet me instead but she didn't. Aliya even came by a few times, even though we are not on talking terms after what she did, I did ask her about Sona and to my surprise, Sona had returned back to the hotel.

I was hurt, disappointed and just fucking torn apart. She didn't even come to meet me, didn't even ask about me. Didn't she care? was she falling out of love with me? no that can't be...we love each other so much...I have loved her since I was a child but I was too stupid and stubborn to realize it till later on in college.

It was only then when Aliya informed me Sona was at the hospital 2 weeks after and that's when I finally decided to confront her since my leg has already healed a bit and here I am trying to talk to her but as usual, she was creating distance between us and I didn't know why. It was fucking ripping my heart apart. Damn, this woman can get on my nerves but at the same time, she is my life.

"Are you going to just stand there and not say anything?" my tone became stern. Her eyes were on the floor refusing to look at me. Having enough of her silence, I stormed towards her and grabbed her shoulders turning her towards me. "Look at me" I stated but this time she shut her eyes. Inhaling a deep sigh I again repeated my words. "Look at me Sona" I cupped her cheeks. "please" I whispered softly...begging for her to just look at me.

Her eyelids slowly opened revealing her bloodshot eyes. Biting my trembling lip I pulled her into my body crushing her with my hug. Nuzzling my nose into her neck, I inhaled her fruity scent calming me down. "It hurts seeing you distance yourself from me. I don't know what I did to you Sona...but if I did hurt you I am so so sorry" I hugged her tighter closing my eyes enjoying the warmth of her body. I knew something was wrong, something was hurting her and I needed her to share it with me.

Her shoulders shook telling me she was crying. Pulling away from the hug, I cupped her cheeks wiping her tears with my thumb. "It's not you" she cried. "Then what is it Sona? what are you hiding from me? I need you to share your feelings with me Sona, you can't keep them locked up" I was desperate to know what was troubling her. I wanted to erase all her pain...all her hurt...I wanted to see the old Sona...the Sona who always loved arguing with me...the Sona who always smiled, the Sona who used to kiss me every morning and dance around in the kitchen moving her sexy hips...I wanted my Sona back...I wanted her back badly.

"Y-you won't u-understand" her voice trembled slightly pushing me back. "Then make me understand...just why are you pushing me away from you?"

"BECAUSE I AM FUCKING DIRTY, ALRIGHT?" she yelled snapping her head towards me with anger. What? I was shocked, I didn't know what to say as we just stared at each other with utter silence. "The only person I have slept with was only you...I was yours...body, soul, heart but...but they ruined that...t-they ruined me i-in front of y-you...I am ruined Vicky...can't you see? I feel disgusted...I feel sick...I look at my body and I feel sick. I feel their hands on me...I feel everything and it's not something you just forget like that. You don't deserve a girl like me...a girl who has been raped" she broke down falling to the floor while I just continued standing there taking her words her.

"You deserve someone better...not a rape victim like me...you des-" "SHUT UP" I yelled before getting on my knees, grabbing her face and smashing my lips onto hers. I poured in all my emotions into the kiss, my anger, frustration, pain, regret, sadness, and love. I sucked on her lower lip before thrusting my tongue into her mouth sucking on his lips like a hungry man. She slowly responded back throwing her arms around my neck while I pulled her closer from her waist, deepening the kiss.

The taste of her juicy lips was fucking delicious and I was addicted...addicted to her. She broke the kiss with both of us breathing heavily. Our foreheads were connected, our arms wrapped around each other feeling the heartbeat thumping madly against our chests. "I dare you to say that again? how dare you say that about my Sona...my Sona? my Sona is the purest girl in the world....the only girl I deserve is my Sona and only my Sona, no girl can take my Sona's place, I will never allow that because Sona is made for me and only me" I whispered over her lips.

I felt her shiver while her breathing started to slow down. I heard her gulp, her body trying to move away but I held her closer. You're not running away today girl...no chance. We were both sitting on the floor, our bodies engulfed as I bent forward hiding my face into her soft neck. "To be honest Sona...I really don't deserve you...I couldn't even save you that nigh-" I clenched my fist, nuzzling deeper into her neck as those painful memories flashed in front of my eyes. "No...no...please don't say that Vicky...you were held down, you were hurt and beaten"

"Yet I still couldn't save you...I'm ashamed to even call myself a man...I was weak...I am weak" I closed my eyes shut not wanting to break down here. "No" she stated breaking the hug and cupping my cheeks. "Look at me Vicky" she whispered and I slowly opened my eyes to see her dejected expression. "You are not weak...you are not weak at all...to be honest...when that happened the only sounds I could hear were Eyshana's screams, the only images that I could see were her clothes getting ripped, her innocence being tarnished while I just sat there doing nothing. I felt like I was her...like I was living that moment. I was being punished Vicky, I was finally feeling what she felt when we-"she bit her trembling lip not having the courage to speak on.

Images of that night repeated in my mind again. I was disgusted with myself, I felt sick just seeing my own face in the mirror. Was I that same guy who allowed a girl to be raped in front of me? I was so cheap and I hate myself for not doing anything that day. I hate myself for not speaking up and stopping Ezhil from committing a crime. I regret everything...I regret not helping her, saving her because all Eyshana has ever done is love us...love is all she did but in the end we ruined her, abused her like she was no human.

What I and Sona did was wrong...absolutely wrong but my Sona didn't deserve that, neither did Eyshana. No one deserves to be raped and unfortunately, I realized that too late when the love of my life was getting ruined right in front of my fucking eyes and I couldn't do jack shit. That was the worst moment of my life. I felt so man less, so weak, so defeated and secretly I blamed Ezhil. I blamed everything on him, if only he got his facts right, if only he didn't jump to conclusions, my Sona wouldn't have been raped, Eyshana wouldn't have been raped, we wouldn't have all be living in pain but then I realized how selfish I was being.

Ezhil was my best friend, my brother...I could have stopped him but instead, I encouraged him...I let him do what he wanted, if he was to blame then so was I, so was Sona and so was all of us. We did this to her and slowly Karma was reaching us giving us a taste of our own sins and I regret it all, regret not stopping him from ruining not just one life but all of our lives.

"I don't understand how we all mistrusted her...yes she wasn't with us for that long but she was with us long enough to know her better and she was an angel...at first I didn't like her because I thought she might take our friends away but I was wrong. The more closer I got with her the more I realized how good of a person she is and to this day I still feel that. The crazy girl saved me from getting raped Vicky and yet I couldn't s-save her from-" I hugged her tightly while she clutched onto my shirt bawling her eyes out. I gritted my teeth trying to hold in my tears but I couldn't...I just couldn't.

The memories spent with Eyshana made me feel even low about myself. "Look at her now...after 10 years...so cold...so distance...so different. Not a smile on her face, no color, no brightness, no life shown in her eyes...she shut herself off...emotionless like a robot...we killed the living soul in her Vicky...Vicky...how will we ever move on? when will this pain go away...I feel suffocated" she sobbed while I caressed her hair wanting her to let her feelings out.

"We lost Sagar, our best friend...sometimes I feel jealous Vicky...from amongst us he was the only one who turned out human, who supported her, who believed her and saved her and now he wants nothing to do with us. He is living a happy life, married, has children and look at us Vicky...look at who we have become because of our sins and decisions"

I agreed with her. What Sagar did none of us could have done that. Sagar was always different, the quiet one, the nerd of the group, and the good boy. Girls, drinks, parties...that wasn't his type of thing, he was more of a book person, a believer of sex after marriage type person and having one woman who he will love forever yet he was our life, he was our happiness and maybe because of his goodness, he was rewarded with a happy life whereas we all...what did we do?

We bullied people, me Ezhil, Sunny and Farhan were players. We slept with girls,, used them like tissue papers, and then threw them away breaking their hearts. We neglected our education, we showed disrespect towards our teachers and elders and then finally ended up breaking not only 1 but 2 innocent girls, Eyshana and Riya and from all of that Sagar was the one who got to live his happy life and indeed I was envy but I didn't have the right to be envy because Sagar chose the truth whereas we...we decided to take the wrong path.

"I feel ashamed asking for forgiveness when I know I don't deserve it when I know she won't forgive me...forgive us...but Vicky...I am tired...I want to live again but I can't...I'm not strong likeher...I'm not strong Vicky...I'm not strong" I could feel the wetness seeping through my shirt as she cried harder.

A few tears left my eyes before quickly wiping them away. Taking in a deep breath I pulled away from Sona and kissed her cheeks. "What Eyshana went through is nothing compared to what we are feeling. If this is our punishment, then we have to take it and endure it like she did when she was not even at fault. All this time we have been selfish, she didn't deserve that Sona...she didn't deserve any of it. We forgot what humanity meant, we forgot what feelings meant. We were so blinded by lies but it's now our turn and if that makes her happy then so be it because her pain is so much more than ours Sona...and if Eyshana can make through then so can you and so can I because you have me and I have you and together we will go through this...I promise...just...just don't push me away...don't leave me...that's all I ask" I held her hands kissing her inner palm repeatedly allowing my tears to fall again.

"please" I pleaded to feel her palm on my cheek. "Never and I'm so sorry...I'm sorry...I was just scared...I was scared you might not see me like the same...I was scared that you might one day leave me" she hugged me. I immediately wrapped my arms around her placing kisses all over her face and neck. "You are still the same to me and always will be...I will pray and hope that those monsters get worse punishment in prison, I hope they feel worse pain....greater than our pain, greater than Eyshana and Riya's pain...I hope they die in those cells...never will I let anyone hurt you...never...I love you so much" I sealed her lips with a deep kiss.

"I love you too" she broke the kiss before smashing her lips onto mine again and immediately kissed her back pulling her into my lap. That night we stayed in each other's arms, our lips sealed, our hearts connected and our tears flowing.

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