"You don't have to tighten them too much, I am not an animal" I glared at Officer 'someone I don't care about', who just ignored my words tightening the cuffs even more onto my wrists. "Fucking asshole" I gritted out. "I would advise you to leave that attitude of yours behind because soon that same attitude will get you into trouble soon" he cocked up his eyebrow. "You are acting like I am going to be behind the bars for life. You are arresting me for speeding, not for murder and soon I'll be out since my bail would be paid in a few minutes" I scoffed.

The corner of his lips tilted upwards. Shaking his head, he looked down before giving me a solemn look. He took a step closer to me, our faces quite close to each other like he was going to headbutt me. He stood a few inches taller than me, his shirt tight around his body flexing his built muscles and even though I'm proud to say I am good looking and well built, I was embarrassed to say how insecure I felt when comparing myself to the man in front of me. What if Eyshana likes him? what if she chooses him over me? but why wouldn't she? He is so much better than me. I ruined her life whereas he...he hasn't done anything to her...he has a chance to make her smile...to make her laugh...to add life into her eyes once again but why wasn't I happy?

I want her happiness right? then why couldn't I see her move on? I just can't...I can't see her smiling with another man other than me...it sets my heart on fire...it feels like an iron fist clenching my beating muscle, it feels like death just seeing her with someone who is not me. Even if I want to let her go I just can't...I can't...I just can't. I am so selfish...I feel disgusted but everything is fair in love and war, right?

"People like you-" his eyes scanned me with a look of abhorrence before meeting my eyes once again "are made for places like that" all expressions from his face vanished as he took a step back raising his head high.

What the fuck?

Ok, I agree that I nearly killed a pedestrian but I wasn't in my right mind then. I was so fucking lost and hurt over losing the love of my life that I didn't realize I was going to run over a girl and I was sorry but who the fuck does this dickhead think he is, acting like I am some serial killer.

"You don't know who I am-" "Who are you?" he cut me off rudely "who exactly are you, Mr. Mital? you talk as if you are quite known or famous? who are you? I don't know who you are, she doesn't know who you are" he pointed to a policewoman "he doesn't know who you are" he pointed to another officer who was talking on the phone, "no one cares who the fuck you are but yes, we do know that you are a criminal so take my advice and shut that fucking mouth of yours before I do it myself and believe me-" he leaned closer to my ear causing a high level of rage to boil inside me "you won't want to know how I will do that" he stepped back before giving me a smirk.

My eyes started to sting as I glared madly at him. How fucking dare? the nerve of this bastard- "Now, shall we?" he gave me a mocking smile before pushing me inside the police car. "You're messing with the wrong person" My voice came out stern and austere as I looked ahead. I didn't mind him arresting me as I agree what I did was wrong but his attitude towards me was disrespectful and that was something I didn't take in well. Just because he was an officer didn't mean he could talk to me like that. I am Ezhil Mital and I will show him who the fuck I am.

The only response I got was a deep chuckle coming from his mouth before slamming the car door shut as another police officer sat up front starting the engine. I sat there in silence just watching the trees whizz by while falling into a puddle of thoughts.

Two weeks went past until I was finally discharged from the hospital. Vicky was doing better and his leg was slowly healing while Farhan...I had no words for him. I couldn't meet him, neither could I meet Sunny. I felt guilty and self-loath. I refused to look at them, meet them, hug them, I was a coward. I was the reason why they were in those states.

Preeti had told me that Sunny had asked for me multiple times in the past 2 weeks. Yes, he was finally awake and much better than before which was a relief to me. Preeti pleaded and pushed me to meet Sunny but I refused. How could I go in front of him after putting him into a coma? He was my brother, my best friend and I nearly sent him to his death, I didn't have the strength to meet eyes with him. Farhan was a different case and I could never forgive myself for the pain he was going through.

Flashback

"Farhan is awake" Preeti informed. My head whipped towards her so fast that I felt like I was going to have whiplash. "How...how is he?" I gulped nervously waiting for her response. Shaking her head, she sat on the bed patting my hand in a comforting way. "Not good" she responded. "W-what...what do you mean not good?" an unnerving feeling crawled all over my body giving me goose-bumps as I impatiently waited for her next response. Sniffling back her tears, she squeezed my hand before looking into my eyes, and just from her look I knew it was going to be bad news.

"H-he has lost eyesight...he can't s-see Ezhil...he can't see, doctors said that the s-shards have damaged his eyes so badly that even surgery may not help him. They tried everything Ezhil but..." her words broke out into sobs while I just sat there still, not moving or saying a word with only her words repeating in my mind over and over again.

"He has lost his eyesight"

"He can't see Ezhil...he can't see"

"Surgery may not even help him...they tried everything Ezhil but..."

"Ezhil...Ezhil" I felt myself being shaken."This is all my fault" I whispered unsmilingly. "No Ezhil don't say t-" "Don't" I stopped her in a deadpan voice. "Stop trying to defend me all the time Preeti...stop trying to hide my mistakes, my sins...just stop," I said with frustration. Her eyes widen. "I wasn't trying to-" "Yes you were, deep down even you know that this is all my fault, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT THAT?" I raised my voice. Flinching at my tone, she let go of my hand while I sighed heavily closing my eyes before re-opening them. "I'm sorry" I whispered taking her hand in mine. Her sobs were killing me making me guilty at raising my voice at her. She was older than me, she was trying to protect me but...

"I'm all over the place Preeti, I don't feel like myself anymore. I can't live with the fact that my brother can't see because of my recklessness" tears trickled down my cheeks. "How will I face him Preeti? he will hate him, he will hate me for taking his eyesight from him and I can't live with that...I just can't" I cried out.

"Shhh" I felt pulling me into her motherly hug. "I can't Preeti...why did you save me? why didn't you let me die? why? why?" I broke down. "How could I have let you do that Ezhil? you're my only family, I'm nothing without you" she cried along kissing my head.

"Meet him Ezhil, talk to him, you are brothers, best of friends, I'm sure he will forgive you and I know deep down he will not hate you...he can never hate you," she said. "No" I shook my head furiously clutching on to her shoulder. "I can't meet him...he will hate him...I know Preeti...I have seen his anger when I hurt Eyshana....he won't forgive me...I know...I can feel it" I breathed heavily.

I don't want to lose anyone...I have already lost one person, I can't afford to lose my friends, my brothers. "But try Ezhil, you won't know unless you try. Look at me Ezhil" she cupped my cheeks wiping my tears with her thumbs. "Vicky, Sunny, Farhan...they love you...you are their brother...you three are a family, the best of friends, partners in crime, you always have each other's backs...they won't hate you...he won't hate you...trust me," she said painfully.

"I-I can't"

"Yes you can...you can Ezhil...just meet him...he is all alone with no one beside him...he needs you Ezhil...he needs his brother" her hand caressed my hair. He needs me, my brother needs me...he needs me. "He needs me"

"Yes...he needs you...he needs you all" she wiped my never-ending tears. My eyes trailed down to my trembling hands before meeting Preeti's. "he needs me, my brother needs me...take me to him...I need to be with him" I muttered trying to get off the bed. "I will take you to him, don't worry, just wait...let me get the wheelchair" she smiled, turning to leave before I stopped her. "No...no I...I want to walk...help me walk...I want to walk" I rushed out. "But you are still weak and-" "Please" I pleaded with pain. "Just this once"

Sighing, she nodded helping me stand up on my feet. As soon as I stood on my feet, I wobbled slightly but thankfully Preeti was there to keep me steady. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders while her arm was wrapped around my waist carefully leading me towards Farhan's room.

My heart was pounding insanely. Was it fear? or was it nerves...I don't know but the closer we got to the door the faster my heartbeat got. My stomach hurt quite a bit, my insides were twisting making me wince. I admit...I was scared. "DO SOMETHING...WHY IS IT SO DARK? WHY CAN'T I SEE? PLEASE...PLEASE DO SOMETHING...ANYTHING...I WANT TO SEE LIGHT...PLEASE I BEG YOU...I BEG YOU" I heard a manly cry pleading for help which caused me to stop outside the door with shock.

"Please calm down sir or we will have to inject you" I heard another voice say. "This is a prank, right? right? Ezhil...Sunny...Vick...you are here right? hiding from me? what kind of sick joke are you three playing on me? Just turn on the fucking lights...TURN THEM ON" he yelled with agony but I could hear the pain and fear in his voice shattering my heart.

"Sir...I am warning you once again, I don't want to do this to you but if you don't calm down I will have to inject you"

"You can't do this to me...you-"

The balance and strength in my legs had given up causing me to fall to the ground as I silently heard the cries and pleadings of my brother. "Ezhil" Preeti called out in worry trying to help me up but I snatched my arm from her staring at the ground soundlessly.

His life was ruined. We were all already living in darkness but Farhan, he was now living in darkness for eternity. I couldn't even imagine how it would feel being in his place right now. I snatched his life away, his happiness...the colours of the world...his light...I snatched everything away from him and the reason was my selfishness.

My emotions were everywhere, I didn't know where to start from and where to end. I was feeling lifeless, I was feeling numb, my ears had become deaf to the world but were working completely fine with hearing his cries. His cries...the pain and torture in his voice...the hiccups between his sobs...it made me feel so low...I just...I...

I felt my body vibrate as I slammed my fist onto the floor breaking down in tears. My forehead touched the floor as I just sobbed not caring how people looked at me or thought about me. Why wasn't God punishing me like that? why was I still fine while Sunny and Farhan suffered more? I was the one who did worse so why were they getting punished? I deserve to be in their place, they don't deserve this...they don't deserve any of this.

End of flashback

And soon after that, I was discharged and arrested. I was so lost in my thought that I didn't realize the teardrop escaping my eye as it rolled down to my chin. I wanted to run away...far far away...away from people...away from the noise...away from problems but that would make me a coward right? and a coward is something I do not want to become. I have ruined so many lives, most importantly the girl I loved and still love to this day. I still can't accept the fact that I have lost her. The girl that once was head over heels for me now feels nothing except hatred and whose fault is that? mine.

She is my only peace, she is the only one who can calm me down. I need her in my life, she is my medicine, my drug. 10 years ago I was dead even though my heart was still beating but when I met her once again I felt alive...I felt like I could breathe again. I felt like I had another chance in living, a second chance, a hope but that all came crashing down. Now I have nothing, nothing at all. I have money but I feel like I am poor, I have shelter but I feel homeless, I have a sister, I have friends yet I feel alone, I have a beating heart yet I feel numb and lifeless.

My body jerked forward shaking me out of my thoughts. Everything happened so quickly. The door opened, I was pulled out, dragged roughly by my arm and thrown into the cell making me nearly trip over my own feet. The cell door slammed shut, the sound of the metal meeting metal causing a 'clang' sound to vibrate.

A long bench was placed behind me so I sat down leaning my elbows on my knees as I stared ahead watching the officers conversing and moving around doing their own thing. My eyes kept glancing back at my wristwatch, counting every second waiting for Preeti to come and bail me out.

4

3

2

1

The sounds of footsteps were heard making me smile as I looked up to see Preeti standing there with her handbag dangling down her shoulder. She said a few words to an officer glancing at me from time to time before bending down to sign some papers. Another officer walked towards me giving me a hateful glare before unlocking the cell door and walking inside.

Standing up, I gave him a mocking smile reaching my wrists out towards him. Giving me another glare, he unlocked my cuffs. I immediately rubbed my sore wrists cursing Malin in my head for tightening them too much. "You may leave now" the old Officer spat before leaving. Smirking, I stepped out the cell only to hugged by Preeti. I hugged her back placing a kiss on her head. "Let's go" I wrapped my arm around her shoulders leaving this horrible place. "Did they hurt you?" she asked with worry, her big eyes become watery. I smiled and shook my head, "No...they didn't" I responded.

As soon as we stepped I was stopped by a few words that not only made me furious but wanted me to knock the shit out of this person not caring if I had had to get arrested once again. "I see you have been bailed, oh well...won't be long till I see you again" Officer Malin stated as he walked towards me, his eyes sending out a warning. I refused to look away from the bastard as he continued walking and once he reached my side, he purposely bumped his shoulder with mine before making his way inside.

I clenched my jaw tilting my head as I glared at the parked jeeps in front of me. "Ezhil" Preeti called out. "let's go" I gritted out.