A small smile stretched on her lips, not a warm or kind sort of smile but more like a smile of mockery like she enjoyed watching me in this state, and why wouldn't she? it was me who caused her so much pain but just the thought of her hating me killed me inside."Eyshana please" Preeti implored, her voice tired and filled with defeat. "Did I say something wrong Miss Mital?" she cocked her head giving her an innocent look. Preeti sighed knowing she couldn't argue with her anymore.

"Thank you" I managed to say, my eyes flickering away from hers but I could still feel her intense gaze burning into my skin. "For what Mr. Mital?" she asked rather politely. "For...for saving Sunny" I responded. "Oh...that? that was nothing...if I allowed him to die then..." she took a few steps further until lowering down to my height. I kept blinking trying to avoid looking at her but I couldn't help it but glance at her.

She was just so beautiful, so simple, modest yet so angelic. Her eyes stared right back at me but her stare was intense...different...unknown...it was like as if she was staring right into my soul...like she could read my mind and that brought me discomfort. A cough from Preeti broke our eye-lock making me look away instantly. "how would I bring justice and peace to my sister's soul?" she finished off her sentence.

I looked down at my lap ashamed. I didn't know what to say...I deserve her hatred...I deserve her cruel words but fuck it hurts so much. Standing up, she glanced at me and Preeti before walking away while I watched her go further and further away from me. Preeti placed her hand on my shoulder supporting me. I quickly wiped a tear before letting it trickle down my cheek. "let's go" I said.

Wheeling me towards the last room, I gestured Preeti to stop as I needed to breathe. My leg was bouncing up and down, my hands trembling as I eyed the door to Sunny's room. I looked back at Preeti giving her a look that says 'take me in'. Understanding the expression on my face she nodded and opened the door, pushing me inside. A small shaky gasp left my lips as she pushed me closer to his unconscious body.

An oxygen mask was placed over his mouth, his breathing low and slow while the beeping of the machines gave me anxiety. He had bandages all over him, from his forehead to his chest, he was fully wounded. I couldn't help myself but allow a few tears to fall out. Reaching out my hand, I carefully touched his hand scared to hurt him. I just stared at him with guilt, regret, and aggression at myself.

This should have been me....not him

None of them deserved to be here expect me...

"Hey Sunny...I hope you can hear me...I-I ...I just want to say...I'm s-so sorry...I should have listened to you...I should have stopped...I-it's all m-my f-fault...all my fault. I-if it wasn't for me...Riya would have been alive...you w-would have had her beside you...you would have h-had your b-baby with you...I-I'm so sorry" I cried onto the back of his hand feeling disgusted for even being called a friend...a brother. I was a disgrace...a total disgrace.

"Please wake up...for Farhan...for Vicky....wake up" I sniffled watching him with a swirl of painful emotions building inside me. "Preeti" I called out" "Hmm" she hummed keeping her hand on my shoulder. "I want to rest...please take me back," I said in a low voice. "sure" she murmured before pulling me away from Sunny. I gave him one last glance while being wheeled out before the door shut blocking my view of him.

After being brought to my room, Preeti helped me to lay in bed and also gave me my medicine to take. "I want to be alone for some time" I looked away from her just wanting to be alone. "but-" "please Preeti" I appealed to cause her to sigh. "Alright...but I'll be still checking on you okay?" she said but I just ignored, my eyes just staring at the wall to my left.

I looked at the door once hearing her leave before looking up at the ceiling reflecting back to everything that has happened in the last 10 years.

Meeting Eyshana

Befriending Eyshana

Falling for Eyshana

Proposing to Eyshana

Cheating on Eyshana

Accusing Eyshana

Abusing Eyshana

Raping Eyshana

Breaking Eyshana

Losing Eyshana

Killing Riya and her Baby

Losing Sagar

It was me all along...all me and my friends were involved also because of me...I ruined their lives...I ruined so many lives.

Look at who I was before meeting her and now look at me. A devoid of laughter left my lips just thinking about it...I didn't even change...at all...I thought maybe I had changed after meeting Eyshana but no...I was still the same monster and I proved that after what I did to her and Riya. If Eyshana doesn't forgive me...then God won't even forgive me.

What have I done?

What have I done?

I tugged onto my hair...wanting to rip them out of my scalp. My heart was burning, my chest was hurting...I didn't want to breathe...I didn't want to live. If Eyshana wasn't going to be with me then what is the point of living. She is my happiness...she is my life...then when she isn't going to be with me...what the point of still breathing?

I looked around the hospital room with madness...finding something...something that could help me escape this guilt, this hatred...the pain. If I'm gone then everyone will be happy...with me not being here everyone won't have to go through pain ever again.

I slowly got out of bed instantly leaning against the wall as a huge flood of dizziness hit my head making everything blurry. Weakly yet slowly I made my way into the bathroom, my hands now placed against the sink as I leaned forward staring at my horrifying expression in the mirror. My forehead was wrapped around with a white fabric...my skin looking sick and pale...I had dark bags under my eyes and my cheek was also grazed with cuts. My hair was indeed a mess and my lips were dry and chapped.

Staring at my own reflection I felt disgusted and unhappy. Suddenly a loud sinister laugh erupted from the mirror. I frowned thinking this was probably all a dream. "Look at you Ezhil...so weak...so distraught...so useless" my reflection laughed at me, his smile evil...his poisonous words taunting me, mocking me. "Tut...tut...tut...poor Ezhil...thought he would live the life of luxury yet ended up being in the ditch...how unfortunate" my reflection threw his head back laughing, his lips tilting up into a smirk...his eyes pure black as he stared back right into mine.

"What are you doing Ezhil?" his voice teased, his head shaking at me with disappointment. I rubbed my eyes shaking my head before looking back at my reflection but he was still there, giving me that same evil smirk as before. "You're not real" I whispered only for him chuckle. "Oh...I'm indeed very real...I am you and you are me"

"No" I shook my head in denial

He raised his eyebrow giving me an amused look. "You shouldn't be here...you should be buried deep down below the earth...you shouldn't even be breathing" he spat making me flinch. "Murderer...Rapist...Cheater...what else is there to add on the list?" he scratched his chin pretending to think.

"Paedophile?"

My eyes widened with shock his accusation hit me right where it hurts.

My heart...

"What the fuck? I would never stoop to that level...never"

"yet you stooped so low to even rape an innocent girl" he smirked raising his hands to applaud me making me speechless.

"I must be going crazy...you're an imagination...you're not real...I must be dreaming" I pulled my hair with frustration. "I'm not an imagination, neither am I dream...I am your reality" his tone turned 10 times darker and demonic. I kept muttering to myself...I know my mind was playing tricks on me...it was all an illusion.

"Not real...not real....not real" I kept muttering.

"Die Ezhil...I'm coming to take you away"

"Die"

"Die"

"DIE EZHIL...DIE..." his voice screeched making me cover my ears with my palms.

"SHUT UP...SHUT UP" I yelled tugging even more onto the roots of my hair ignoring the burning pain that was caused due to the pulling.

"No one wants you...no one loves you... not even Eyshana" he whispered making my body stiff. "They all want you to leave...they all hate you...Vicky hates you"

"No...no...NO HE DOESN'T" I yelled back

"Sunny hates you"

"Sona hates you...you are the reason why she was raped"

"No...no...no...NO"

"Farhan hates you...Preeti hates you and last but not least...your dear Eyshana hates you too, more than you can ever imagine"

"NOO...SHE DOESN'T HATE ME...SHE LOVES ME...SHE FUCKING LOVES ME...DID YOU HEAR ME...SHE LOVES ME" I roared not accepting the fact that she hates me. Rage...anger...resentment hit me like a powerful hurricane, swirling all my emotions, blending them together creating this extreme intensified state of emotion awakening in me as I raised my fist and slammed it right into the mirror smashing it into pieces.

The feeling of wetness ran down my temple...my shirt now sticking to my body like a second skin because of my sweat. I was breathing heavily, my eyes wide open...my hands trembling and my lips ajar. I closed my eyes trying to control my breathing before re-opening them. Staring at the shattered pieces surrounding my feet, I bent down and picked one up examining it.

"No one wants you...no one loves you....do it...do it Ezhil...end it...end everything...you are the cause behind everyone's pain...do it...end it all for once" a demonic voice whispered in my ears. Tear after tear dropped onto the shining piece in my hand, the tiny crystal ball trickling down vanishing as it rolled away.

I closed my eyes and instantly images of accusing eyes shot open gazing right back at me. Vicky watched me with disgust...his arms wrapping tightly around Sona like he was afraid to let her go. Sona quivered back with fear...her face hidden in Vicky's chest while he gave me an accusing look saying 'you did this'.

Sunny's face was blank...his eyes empty yet accusing and there in his lap sat a girl, her face hidden away from me in his chest. He was staring at me with a cold expression...like I was some stranger to him. His arms were wrapped possessively around the girl in his lap, his nose burying into her hair while his stare was frozen on me but this time his face flamed up rage, his jaw tightening as his empty stare turned into a glare.

"My eyes...my eyes...why can't I see...WHY CAN'T I SEE?" a manly voice cried out in panic making me snap my head to the right. Farhan stood in front of me...his body was tense...his eyes covered with a black fabric while his fists were clenched. Even though his eyes were hidden behind the fabric...I could feel his stare right...on...me.

"I wasn't meant to fall in love with you but it happened...you made me do all of this...it's all your fault. I didn't want to hurt her...I didn't want to ruin her like that, you made me do it Ezhil...you made me do it" Aliya suddenly flashed in front of my eyes making me gasp as she cried....her words...her eyes accusing me...it was all me...all me.

"See...it's all you Ezhil...you made them hurt her" the voice whispered again. "No" I whispered with immense pain as I held my hand over my chest. "You killed me" a female voice whispered from behind me making me freeze for a moment. I slowly turned around to see the same girl in Sunny's lap now staring at me with blood running down her cheeks making me shocked. I watched in fright as her smile widened slowly...like it was being forced to be stretched up.

Riya

"I...no...I didn't...I"

"You raped me" another voice broke out from behind me making me turn around in an instant to see Eyshana standing there wearing a full black lacey maxi dress, her skin pale yet she was looking like a goddess. Her face was missing a shine...a spark of happiness as she stood in front of me with utter blankness. I was in between two sisters...one staring at me with no expressions while the other with tears of blood but both held the same resentment in their eyes...the look of accusation.

"I-" I stumbled walking away from the two while they moved closer towards me. "P-please...p-please" I begged as darkness started to overshadow me. "DO IT...DO IT EZHIL...END IT ALL" the demonic voice screamed making me snap my eyes open. My mouth opened gasping for air as I held the sharp item with tightness ripping open my flesh as blood trickled down to the marbled floor ruining its shine.

With trembling hands, I slowly placed the sharpness to my wrist...my heartbeat racing with a thud as I added pressure onto my skin making me hiss. "They hate me...I killed them...I'm a murderer...no one loves me...no one loves me...no one" I cried. This was it...this was my end...I deserved this...I deserve to rot in hell. I gritted my teeth ready to slide the sharpness across my skin until the bathroom door flung open with a bang.

I felt my body being pulled up and then a sudden heat arose onto my cheek making me realize I was just slapped. I felt my hair being pulled before another sting hit my other cheek. "How could you do this? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" another hit was sent to my cheek making me stumble back.

I slowly looked up to see Preeti standing in front of me...enraged...her eyes bloodshot red...her eyes wide open with fury. I had never seen so much anger from my sister before. "I can't do this anymore" I whispered as I fell onto my knees. "I'm not strong enough...I'm not strong enough to fight Preeti...I can't do this...I give up...I give up" I cried out in defeat. I felt her warm arms wrap around me, my head on her chest and she caressed my hair in a motherly manner making me miss my mum.

"You're so selfish Ezhil...so selfish that you forgot to think about your own sister...how could you do this? how could you even think about taking your life?" she cried heavily hugging me tighter. I wrapped my arms around her waist hugging her like a child. "I'm tired Preeti...I'm so tired..." I cried into her arms.

"You didn't once think about those who love you?" she yelled at me

A dry, tired laugh left my mouth "No one loves me Preeti...they all hate me" I whispered. "Who said that? we all love you...Vicky, Sunny, Farhan, Sona, Aliya...they all love you...I love you...I love you so much Ezhil" she kissed my head rocking my body back and forth. "but she doesn't" my voice croaked out in between my cries. She remained silent but deep down I knew...

she didn't love me anymore...Eyshana...my Eyshana didn't love me anymore...

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