*I love this theme track of a Turkish series I watch...to me the music is so heart touching...so give it a try while reading this chap ;) *

and also listen to this one...which is slower version....it's sooooo good...it's like the instruments are crying....so watch till 1.36

My eyes slowly opened up to hear low beeping sounds. I slowly turned my head to see wires connected to a white machine. I closed my eyes feeling tired before re-opening them again. My head was slightly throbbing while my body felt sore. Touching my forehead I realized it was wrapped with a soft fabric. I was surrounded by white walls and the only sound that was heard was my breathing and the beeping of the machines.

Raising my hand, I saw a wire connected to my hand making me hiss slightly. I pulled the wire out ignoring the pain as I sat up in confusion. 'What had happened? why am I here?' questions ran through my mind.

My eyes suddenly widened when images flashed in front of my eyes. Car crash. Accident? My hands started to shake in panic as I remembered who was with me when the car crashed. "Ezhil" I heard the door opening and a feminine voice calling me out. "P-Preeti" my voice broke as tears escaped from my eyes. I quickly threw the covers off me and stood up only to lose balance but luckily Preeti caught me. "What are you doing Ezhil? you are weak, you need rest" she scolded me, her face filled with concern as she made me sit on the bed but I wasn't having it.

"Sunny...Farhan...Vicky...where...where are they...how...how are they?" I asked in fear. If anything happened to them I wouldn't forgive myself. It was all because of me...all me...I was such a curse. Tears filled Preeti's eyes as she looked down not saying a word making me even more scared. Grabbing her forearms I slightly shook her demanding an answer. "Tell me Preeti...p-please don't stay silent...where are they? are they okay? I need to know" I asked in despair.

"V-Vicky has just come out of danger and-" "and...and what?... TELL ME DAMMIT" I yelled as more tears trickled down my face. "F-Farhan he...he..." she cried into her hands making me move back in disbelief. Gulping, her eyes trailed up to my face before she began answering my question. "Farhan has come out of danger but...but he is still unconscious...doctors said that there...there might be something wrong with his eyesight due to s-some glass entering his eyes" she explained making my heart freeze for a moment.

I felt my body going limp as I took in her words...my eyes were wide with shock, burning as fresh tears kept building and building. "E-Ezhil...Ezhil please say something" Preeti cried as she shook me. "Sunny..." I whispered as I looked at her waiting for another heart-breaking news. Her bottom lip trembled as she held my hand squeezing it trying to give me some sort of comfort.

"Sunny is in a coma," she said. I just stared at her. Just stared feeling the wetness running my cheeks feeling empty. "He...he needed blood urgently and the hospital didn't have enough of his blood type. Doctors s-said that...that he could...he could lose..." she stopped not being able to complete her sentence while I just sat there in utter shock and pain. "No...No this...this can't be" I murmured to myself in incredulity.

"but then a miracle happened" she smiled. "Miracle?" I whispered in confusion. She smiled widely with tears running down her cheeks nodding at my question. "Someone agreed to donate blood to him and right now doctors have just informed he is out of danger" she cupped my cheeks, wiping away my tears while I sighed in relief.

I exhaled a loud breath running my hands over my face thanking god and the person for saving him. "I need to meet them...take me to them Preeti...take me to them" I begged her trying to stand up but she forced me to sit down giving me a look of anger. "No Ezhil...you are too weak to stand up...you will lay down here while I call the doctors and then you can meet them" she ordered but I refused to listen to her.

"Why are you so stubborn Ezhil...why? don't you know what I went through when I found out you were fighting life and death" she cried while cupping my cheeks. "You are my only family in this world Ezhil...please...for me...please just lay down while I bring the doctors" she pleaded. I looked at the tears that kept leaving her eyes. A pang of regret and disappointment hit me as I realized I was the cause of my own sister's tears. She was crying because of me...I hurt her...I hurt my friends because of my stubbornness...I hurt so many people...I hurt the love of my life. Why didn't God just take my life instead? why was I even still alive?

I laid down soundlessly feeling my tears run down to my temples. I stared at the ceiling questioning my own existence. The self-hatred inside me...the loath I had for myself was un-bearing...I hated myself...I thought about everything I did wrong in my life...blaming myself for my friends' conditions....for her leaving me.

I remember when I was in school and we had a topic on depression, anxiety, and self-harm. I always wondered and questioned myself how people would come to that stage in life where they would hate themselves...try and harm themselves, being isolated from the world and me being the arrogant boy I always was thought I would never reach that stage...I believed I would live the life of happiness and fun yet here I am...years later at a hospital, crying...crying to myself...questioning my own existence of why am I even still breathing after everything I did.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize the doctor was already here doing a check up on me. His voice was not clear...my mind and ears blocking him out. "Mr. Mital...Mr. Mital how are you feeling now?" he placed his hand on my shoulder making me leave my thoughts. "I..I am doing fine doctor" I answered but deep down I knew I wasn't doing fine at all.

"That's great news...Miss Mital...I have prescribed some medicines for your brother...just make sure he takes enough rest as his body is still weak, other than that you can take your brother home tonight" he smiled before handing her a piece of paper.

I turned away silently wiping a teardrop of my cheek. "Thank you so much" Preeti thanked him and soon after that, I heard the door shut. "Can I meet them now?" I turned towards her "P-please" my voice cracked making Preeti's expression fall.

Her expression was full of hurt and concern as she nodded to my question. "I will get you a wheelchair since you are still too weak to walk," she told before leaving the room. After a few minutes, she returned with a wheelchair and helped me sit in it. Wheeling the chair, she pushed forward taking me towards another room. Softly opening the door, she pushed the chair inside revealing a sleeping Vicky in front of my eyes.

I bit my lips not wanting to break down as we moved closer to him. He laid there in silence, her chest moving up and down as he breathed softly while being connected with multiple wires. His leg was wrapped as well as his forehead. Face pale and cheeks sunken in. Just by looking at him the first thing that came to my mind was...' this is because of me'.

"I'm...I'm so...sor" I broke down hiding my face into my hands. I felt a warm hand caressing my head pulling me into them while I cried. "Shhh...it's okay...everything will be okay" Preeti kissed my head while comforting me but I felt terrible.

"Bro" my head snapped up hearing his tired voice. His eyes were droopy but he still had that cheeky playful smile on his face. Not caring if I was in a wheel-chair or not...I stood up and hugged him crying into his shoulder. He instantly wrapped his arms around me...his body shaking making me realize he was also crying.

"I'm so sorry...because of me you are in this state...I'm so fucking stupid...I should have listened to you all but..." I pulled away apologizing but he just shook his head. "Don't be...what was gonna happen it happened...I'm just thankful we are alive" he smiled giving me another bro hug. "I heard about Farhan and Sunny" he whispered looking down with tears.

"It's all my fault...all my fault and I will never forgive myself" I fisted my hands...angry at my foolishness. "Don't say that bro" he whispered painfully. "you can deny it how much you want Vicky...but the truth is the truth...I am the reason why they...why you were all fighting life and death" I bit my lip. He looked down...not knowing how to respond allowing silence to fill the room.

"I heard that someone donated blood to Sunny" Vicky turned to Preeti who was in tears watching us with silence. Wiping her teardrops, she nodded sitting on the other side of the bed next to Vicky. "Thanks to him our brother is saved...I don't how to repay that person but whoever he is...he is an angel sent from God"

"She" Preeti corrected him. "She?" we both asked. "Yeah...it was a girl," she said. "Well...then she is truly an angel for saving his life" Vicky smiled. We all three sat in comfortable quietness before Preeti broke it. "Don't you want to know who it was?" she asked. "Who...who was she?" I questioned. Smiling to herself...her eyes watched us both before looking down to her lap. "Eyshana" her voice whispered making me not believe what she just said. "Can... can you please repeat what you just said?" I asked in disbelief.

"Hmm...Eyshana saved him...she was the one who donated her blood to Sunny" she replied. I and Vicky look at each other...his face filled with shock while I felt numb. After everything...everything I did to her...we did to her...she chose to save his life?

The amount of shame and disgust I felt for myself was indescribable at this moment. "She keeps surprising us... first Sona, then Sunny" Vicky looked at me with tears. "We have truly lost an angel" his bottom lip trembled while I looked away with hurt and shame.

"Preeti where is Sona?" Vicky asked immediately after mentioning Sona while I just sat there feeling so awful. "After hearing about your news she fainted but she is doing fine right now so don't worry...she is taking rest" she responded. I heard him sigh in relief before becoming silent.

"Take me to Farhan and Sunny...I need to see them" I spoke with an emotionless voice. "Please do tell me how they are," Vicky said making me nod. Preeti pulled my chair back as we exited Vicky's room. "Is Sona really okay?" I asked Preeti. "Yes," she answered before falling quiet.

We finally entered Farhan's room...making my breath shaky. His eyes were wrapped with a thick white bandage...his arms covered with a few cuts as he laid there lifeless. Preeti pushed me closer to him but I was afraid...afraid to talk to him...to sit next to him.

The beeping sound of the machines suffocated me...this room suffocated me....my sins...my mistakes...it all suffocated me...taunting me...mocking...strangling me around my neck like a rope. I looked away instantly crying. I hiccuped and cried not caring how I looked right now. The little red drops of the fabric around his eyes were killing me. "Take me away Preeti...p-please...p-please" I pleaded as I looked down squeezing my eyes shut. My heart squeezed while my stomach wrenched.

She instantly pulled me away taking out of the room. I breathed heavily...taking deep breaths placing my hand over my heart. "Ezhil...are you okay?" Preeti sat in front of me on her knees...giving me a troubled look. Gulping, I ran my hand through my hair and nodded furiously. "I...I'm f-fine" I gasped out. "You don't need to lie to me Ezhil...I know you are not fine" she caressed my cheek making me close my eyes. "Do you want to see Sunny or shall I take you back so you can rest?" her voice was soft and gentle. Opening my teary eyes...I sighed and nodded.

While making our way to Sunny...Preeti stopped making me frown. I stretched my neck to look at her with uncertainty while she continued to stare ahead with a sad expression. Wanting to know what caught her attention, I looked ahead only to freeze too...my heartbeat doing flips as I continued to gaze at the person who stood there in the middle of the hallway watching me.

"I see...you're still alive" coldness and bitterness oozed out from her callous comment adding a crushing sensation to my chest.

Those who say that Eyshana needs to forgive and let go of her past to move on...that will come soon don't worry...but doesn't mean Ezhil and his friends will get a happy ending ;)