"EYSHANA"

I yelled out with anger, my chest ascending and descending with speed while staring at her with immense rage. How dare she say that? how fucking dare she?

"The day you give a second chance to Preeti's molesters and Sona's rapists....that day I will also give you a second chance"

"The day you give a second chance to Preeti's molesters and Sona's rapists....that day I will also give you a second chance"

"The day you give a second chance to Preeti's molesters and Sona's rapists....that day I will also give you a second chance"

Her voice kept echoing in my ears until I understood the meaning behind her words. I understand the resentment and hate she has towards me but how dare she involve my sister. "Ezhil, please calm down" Preeti tried soothing me down but I was too busy glaring at Eyshana who continued staring back with apathy. "Preeti, leave him...people like him will never understand women like us until something similar happens to them" she chuckled to herself.

"In fact, people like him can never change and will never change, even after everything he still doesn't understand" a bitter smile stretched on her lips and that's when I regretted raising my voice at her. Realizing what she said, my eyes softened as a pang of hurt struck my chest while taking small steps towards her. I felt like I was losing my mind, I didn't know what to do anymore. At one moment I wanted to give up but at the same time I didn't want to give up, my soul wouldn't allow me too. My mind and body were already tired but heart and soul had enough energy to win back the love of my life.

Feeling regret for how I responded, I wanted to punish myself, hurt myself, even kill myself for hurting her repeatedly. She was right...she was absolutely fucking right if Preeti and Sona can't give second chances or forgiveness to those animals who ruined them, then why would Eyshana give me a chance when I am one of them......a criminal.

Just the word made me disgusted at myself. I didn't know what to do or how to gain her forgiveness anymore but even if she refuses to forgive me, I vow to never forgive myself for what I did to her but leaving her is a big No from me. I can't leave her, I feel alone even though I have my friends and sister with me, I feel dead and lifeless when she isn't by my side...I need her with me...I need her to live, to breathe...she is my only hope...my only redemption. I can't live without her...I just can't...the thought of it suffocates me.

Tears welled up in my eyes once again as I gazed at her cold appearance. "Fine...don't forgive me...I don't deserve your forgiveness anyways" I took a step closer to her. Feeling her warmth touch me, I felt a sense of relaxation...I want to hold her tight and never let her go. "But if you think-" I leaned my forehead against hers, her chest rising as she breathed out a trembling breath, "I will leave you alone, then you are mistaken" I whispered over her lips.

Grabbing my collar, she pulled me closer to her, her lips only a few inches away from mine. Staring at her lips, I imagined locking mine with hers, feeling the taste I craved for so long. "and if you think I will take you back Mr. Mital then-" she pulled me even closer making my heart race. What was she doing? was she trying to seduce me because it was working. I could feel my lower region harden as her warm breath fanned my lips. "you are highly mistaken" she hissed before pushing me back with force making me stumble on my feet until Vicky caught me.

Hearing her words enraged me. "I will win you back Eyshana, you are mine...only and only mine" I clenched my jaw as I gave her a hard stare. Glaring back at me, she smirked and shook her head. "Try your best Ezhil, the Eyshana who once loved you 10 years ago died the day you killed her with your own hands and words" she grinned bitterly making me clench my fists.

Was she trying to challenge me?

I felt this blow of anger hit me, the thought of her not being in my life, the thought of her being with another man, hugging him, kissing him made me infuriated. I wanted to break something, I wanted to kill something...I didn't even realize Preeti shaking me as I breathed heavily with anger, my eyes refusing to move away from her.

Snatching my arm out of Preeti's hold harshly, I punch the wall making everyone flinch but I continued staring at her who stared back at me with shock. Punching the wall again, I gritted my teeth giving her a hard intense glare. "Ezhil...stop...what are you doing?" Preeti cried out trying to pull me away but I punched the wall again, the shooting pain on my knuckles increasing but I didn't care. I felt a warm liquid running down my hand but I continued punching the wall without taking my eyes off her shocked face. Right now I would look like some psycho and to be honest right now I do feel like a psycho...I need her... I need her...I'm crazy for her and enough is enough.

"Ezhil, stop this...have you gone insane?" Vicky held my arm but I slapped his hand away. Yes, I was insane, I was insane for her, she made me insane, she made me obsessed with her, my eyes were only fixated on her...I can't let her leave me...I just can't, call me selfish but she was mine.

Stalking towards her, I smirked and held out my bloody hand in front of my face. Swiping my thumb across the dark red liquid on my skin, I grabbed the back of her neck pulling her in front of my face making her gasp, her eyes widened with shock and fear. Rubbing my nose on hers, I painted my blood on her hairline causing gasps to whisper in the room. "Now...you are mine" I breathed out sinisterly.

She just stood there, our faces so close to each other, my nose touching hers. Her mouth was slightly opened, her eyes wide with shock while staring at me without blinking. "What have you done?" she suddenly whispered with calmness as tears welled up in her glassy eyes. It was like she was in some mental trauma like she was asking the question to herself. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" she suddenly screamed pushing me back before raising her palm and sticking me on my cheek. Feeling the burn on my skin, I snapped my head towards her, gulping as I clenched my teeth looking at her with a worrying expression. "You're insane...you're fucking insane...YOU ARE ALL FUCKING INSANE...GET OUT...GET OUT OF MY FUCKING ROOM" she cried as she hollered at us to get out.

"Eyshana I'm so" "JUST GET OUT...PLEASE" she cried as she fell to the ground, hugging herself. The sight of her broke me, I didn't know what happened to me all of a sudden, it was like someone had controlled me. "Eyshana I'm so so-"

"That's enough Ezhil, you have done enough, it's better we leave right now" Farhan spoke, her tone painful yet calm while grabbing my arm. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I reached out my hand to touch her. "Don't....don't do it....don't make it worse" Farhan whispered before pulling me back. Turning my head towards Farhan, I glared at him before pushing him as I stormed out of the room. "Ezhil....man just stop will you? EZHIL" I heard Vicky and Farhan yell behind me but I was raging...I hurt her again...I always fucking hurt her....why...why...why?....why am I like this?...why was I so cursed?

Storming towards my car, I furiously opened it and sat inside turning on the engine making it roar with energy. Soon after I heard the back doors opening along with the passenger side of the door opening. "E-" before they could even speak, I pushed onto the accelerator and sped away. "Ezhil...listen to me man, you're acting insane, just stop the fucking car will you?" Vicky yelled from the back seat. "Ezhil just stop this madness, you will end up killing all of us....just STOP" Sunny shouted but I blocked all their voices out as I pushed on the accelerator even more.

"Fuck dude...you are going to kill us man" fear and worry flowed out of Farhan's voice who was sitting next to me. "OH FUCK" he abruptly shouted before taking over the steering wheel when seeing a huge truck speeding towards us. "GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF" I shouted with fury as I pushed him to the side taking control of the wheel.

I swayed side to side as I kept turning the car into different directions. I needed to get this anger out of me, I needed to release all my feelings. The yells of my friends increased the madness and anger inside me as I took another turn making my the wheels of my car screech as we all fell to one side. "WHAT THE FUCK MAN" Vicky yelled out.

"I-I thought you loved me"

"You really think I would fall in love with a weak and filthy girl like you?.... You think my standards are so low that I would fall for some ugly trash like you?"

"H-h-how c-c-ould you?"

"beg like that you fucking whore"

That shameful and terrible day was what haunted me for life. I could still hear her begging me to leave her...to have mercy on her. I didn't even realize I was crying, full-on crying ignoring the shouts and yells of my friends who were trying to take over the wheel.

"P-please l-let m-me go...p-please"

Maybe I should die instead, maybe that would give her satisfaction and happiness because as long as I was alive, I know I would never leave her.

"Let's see what's under these clothes shall we?"

I am a criminal, I am a rapist...I shouldn't be living...I shouldn't be living at all...monsters like me need to be gone from this world...I don't deserve this life...I don't deserve anything.

"P-please don't do this....please.....I beg you"

Wiping my non-stopping tears, I turned again...my tires screeching against the rocky roads. My eyes were now blurry, I was losing my mind. "Ezhil...please....just stop the fucking car" Farhan shoved me, trying to hold the steering wheel but what I did next shocked me. I raised my fist and punched him in the face making him fall back as my car lost control. "WHAT THE FUCK" Vicky yelled. Turning back to the front, my eyes suddenly widened as I let go of the steering wheel.

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. I couldn't hear anymore yells, I could just feel the light breeze brushing back my hair.

"You will regret messing with me. You will regret messing with Ezhil Mital"

"P-please...p-please"

"Good....beg like that you fucking whore"

"I-I didn't d-do a-anything...I did-"

"SHUT UP"

Where was I?

Why was I back here?

Sitting there frozen, I watched myself rape the girl who took my breath away. I watched myself violate her, beat her in the same college where we both fell in love, the same college where I insulted her, cheated on her, and killed her, leaving her to die.

"No..no...no please...please" I begged as I saw myself thrusting into her. "NOOO" I shouted thrashing around but I couldn't get off my seat, it was like I was fixed to it. "EZHIL" a shout brought me back to the present making my mouth dry. I felt someone shaking me heavily making me snap my head to the side staring at a pale, fear looking Farhan with shock. "Oh, shit...oh shit...LOOK OUT" Sunny yelled out.

Looking back at the screen of the car, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. Standing there, in front of the road was a broken Eyshana, her dress ripped, her body battered and bloody as she smiled at me with sadness from a distance. "Eyshana" I whispered painstakingly before quickly applying the brakes. "NO" I yelled as I added more pressure on the breaks but....it was too late.

CRASH

"Eyshana" I felt a hand on my shoulder, but quickly shrugged it off with disgust. "Don't touch me" I seethed as I hugged myself while sitting on the floor. My tears kept leaving my eyes, not planning on stopping as I shook slightly, startled at what just happened. He marked my hairline with his own blood, he marked me as his. The vermilion is only applied to a women's hairline when she gets married and he applied it on me with his blood even after everything he did to me.

Why did my heart have to fall for a man like this? why was I so weak and stupid to not see his reality, his true face....if only i knew him better.

After trying to move on, trying to stay strong, trying to act like I don't care, I can't help but break down. Why did he come back into my life? why did I accept Sona's case...why why why?. Why can't my past ever leave me? why am I so weak...why am I even living right now?

Grabbing my hair with frustration, I tugged on my roots, hiding my face in my knees. "I'm...I'm s-so sorry for...for what h-he d-did" Preeti cried as she sat beside me on the floor. "You don't need to apologize Preeti, my life is anyways cursed" I sighed and looked away. Feeling two strong gazes on me, I looked up to see Sona and Aliya watching me with tears, their eyes red as they hesitated to come near me.

"Please leave," I said calmly. "bu-" "Please" I repeated again but firmly. Sighing sadly, she nodded her head and stood up with Sona and Aliya following her. I looked away not wanting to see the pity on their faces while still feeling their eyes on me. After hearing the sound of my door shut, I sighed in relief as I leaned my head back on the wall.

I can't do this anymore...I have to end this...I need to end this or else I will die. Licking my dry lips, I weakly stood up and grabbed my phone from my table. Dialing in a number, I let out a heavy sigh before placing the phone next to my ear. A few bells rang before a deep, husky voice answered making my heartbeat race abruptly. "I need your help" I mumbled.

Okay since my characters are Indian and a lot of my readers are also Indian, if I made any mistakes on the vermilion part, please do correct me as I don't know much about it, I've only seen it in the Bollywood movies and dramas hahah.