A/N: Had to give you guys less than half of the chapter because my net sucks butt and it wouldn't load otherwise.

Chapter 30

We both stood there staring at each other as if frozen in time. Across the room Kyle and John still fought for control of the phone.

Nate spun to face them “Jesus Kyle put the damn thing down you’re not calling anyone!” Nate barked and he froze. His bottom lips wobbled and he bit down hard before finally dropping the phone into the couch and moving past John to take a seat. He looked utterly dejected and when he turned his face away so that the rest of us couldn’t see, I felt anger roll through me as I turned to glare at Nate.

“Why do you have to be such a damn jerk?” Nate said nothing, only glanced at John whose eyes were fastened onto the badges I held in my hands.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the big guy asked, his voice dangerously low and I turned my glare onto him, refusing to back down.

“I could ask you guys the same thing. What’s going on?”

“Isn’t it obvious, we bought them off some guy selling souvenirs, we had to use them to get the infor-“

“John.” Nate spoke softly, shaking his head when his friend looked his way.

Then when John fell silent he looked at me “I think it’s time we told you guys the truth.” He said solemnly and at his tone my heart fell. This couldn’t be good.

I glanced between John and Nate, much like how Kyle was doing then and when Nate gestured for me to have a seat I took a step back and dropped into the small chair. John also grabbed a seat across from Kyle who moved to sit beside him, looping his arm through John’s.

For the moment at least it seemed their little tiff was over.

Nate shoved his hands into his pockets, looked at each of us in turn before his gaze resettled on me. “You should know that we never meant to deceive you two, it just wasn’t in our power to tell you...it still isn’t but I think if we’re gonna do this we should just get everything out in the open.”

“No you mean because I found your little goodie bag you might as well tell us your big secret.” I shook my head. “I knew you guys weren’t telling us something, I just knew it.”

“I don’t think I like the sound of this.” Kyle commented and I nodded in agreement.

“John and I are FBI agents.”

I wasn’t sure if the gasp came from me or Kyle or both of us but there was so much buzzing going on in my head I wasn’t even sure I heard right so I sat in silence, eyes wide and staring.

“I thought you said you were going to tell us the truth.” Kyle glared from his place beside John.

“It is the truth Kyle. When you two met us we were in the middle of a two year undercover operation.” John explained and I only had to look at their solemn faces to know they were telling the truth.

Kyle refused to believe it and I watched him shaking his head slowly, his eyes tinged with uncertainty. “If you guys are joking it’s not funny anymore.”

“They’re telling the truth Kyle.” I said softly.

A dull ache began just behind my ear as I fought to comprehend the situation. I felt confusion, shock and plain uncertainty as my gaze travelled down to the badges once more. It just didn’t make any sense. I’d known they’d been keeping something from us but this...this I hadn’t even imagined. Even as I had first held the badges in my hands it hadn’t occurred to me that they could actually be…

“So when you said you didn’t date criminals…you weren’t joking wereyou?…you were actually…shit.” Kyle’s voice cracked and he pulled his arm from John’s, looking down at his hands as if he didn’t know who they belonged to.

The two men were silent as we tried to process it all, but everything was just too much and the dull ache turned into a painful throb. I ran my hand over my head, trying to ebb the pain but it only seemed to worsen.

“What are you investigating?” I questioned then, not sure if either of them even heard me but Nate was quick to speak up.

“That’s classified.”

I nodded. Of course.

“Look Riley if we could have told you we would have but this is complicated alright?”

“If you can tell us now, you could have told us then.” I shot back but he was shaking his head before I could even finish the sentence.

“Things are different now.”

“Why because you got caught?” Kyle sneered. “And there you two were condemning Riley for lying when you had this shit keeping from us, you’re nothing but goddamn hypocrites!”

“Kyle you’re not getting it, we didn’t have a choice. This is our job and we were undercover-“

“So what is this part of your mission too? You think maybe we can lead you to the others who escaped? huh? Why are you really here?”

“We failed the operation the minute that fight broke out in the cafeteria, we’re here because we want to help you...both of you.” Nate continued. By now Kyle had gotten up from his seat and was pacing the floor and biting on his fingernails.

I could see that he was hurt as his watery eyes locked firmly on John. I could see the betrayal etched in his expression, I could see his anger and practically feel his pain but I didn’t even know what I personally felt.

For me there was no anger, no hurt, my mind was only reeling with information as I thought back to every moment we’d had in prison, every little thing he’d said and done that only confirmed who he really was.

“That’s why they didn’t mention you on the news isn’t it? It wasn’t a reporting error like you said, it’s because you weren’t really even prisoners.” I directed at Nate who nodded.

I couldn’t read his expression. I couldn’t tell if he was remorseful or nervous or calm. He was completely closed off… completely devoid of emotion and if not for his eyes, which almost seemed to be pleading with me to understand I’d have thought he didn’t care one way or the other.

“And this is how you guys were able to get your hands on practically anything you wanted isn’t it? You didn’t bribe the guards like a thought...the guards were in on it too weren’t they?” Kyle asked but neither of them responded.

I suppose that was fucking classified too.

“We’re only telling you all this out of courtesy, it’s not as if you have a right to know. This was a job and it’s still confidential. It’s not some petty little secret we kept from you, its information that could mean life or death for thousands of people.” It was John’s turn to say his piece.

“What information? All we know is that you both lied to us and you were undercover, you haven’t told us anything!” Kyle all but shouted.

“And that’s all you’re gonna know so just drop it.” When John trailed off Kyle looked at him for a few seconds, his eyes hard and glinting, then he shoved past his lover and exited the room. A few moments later a door slammed somewhere down the hall and the three of us were left in silence.

John cursed under his breath and crossed the room, walking in the direction Kyle had gone and I stood. “Leave him alone John, he just…he needs sometime alone to think.” I said and the big guy turned to look at me, cursed under his breath again dropped into the nearest couch, his head in his hands.

I walked over to Nate and handed the badges to him, which he took. “We both do.”

I left the two FBI agents alone in the room, making my way down the hall, where I pushed open the door to Kyle’s room.

He sat in the center of his bed, his arms wrapped around his legs and his chin resting on his knees. He didn’t look up when I entered.

I pushed the door shut behind me and climbed right up there with him, stretching out on my back, my head propped onto the pillow.

Kyle was the first to break the silence.

“It feels like a nightmare I just can’t wake up from.”

I turned my head to look at him but I didn’t respond. I had yet to even sort out my own emotions on the matter and the more I thought about it to more it felt as though it should have been obvious to me. The things he’d said, the way he seemed to know things he shouldn’t.

The way he practically got away with every little rule breaking he’d managed, but of course I couldn’t have known. Undercover agents in a prison? The things that I only saw in movies, I wouldn’t have expected or even imagined it could happen in real life or that I could be caught up in the middle of it.

“This means they’re on the run with us then. It means they’ve risked their jobs and their freedom…for us.” I said more to myself than to Kyle but he nodded anyway, still looking as devastated as before.

I took a breath. "Nate told me he loves me.” I whispered and when Kyle looked at me this time he smiled, a small sad little upturn of his lips that had me feeling like shit for even mentioning it.

“But then everyone but you knew that.” He commented and I shrugged.

“They must really love us to risk it all Kyle…to risk everything just for us they must really care.”

He sighed. “They do…I just…I guess I just always thought of me and Johnny as being on the same level you know. I liked that we’d both made mistakes and I thought it would mean we could both work on making everything right together, but I’m the one whose really the criminal…he’s the one whose good…he’s a fucking cop, he hasn’t made any mistakes.”

“Everybody makes mistakes and you are good and John knows that otherwise he wouldn’t have given you a second thought and all that doesn’t even matter because he loves you anyway.”

He nodded, his expression still one of dejection. “He does.”

“FBI agents…I still can’t even believe it.”

“It’s a lot to take in... I don’t know if I want to talk to him right now…everything’s just crazy.”

I nodded, moving my hands behind my head before looking up at the plain white ceiling with a frown.

“This whole thing is just fucked up.”

AUTHOR'S NOTES

SORRY I DIDN'T UPLOAD LASTNIGHT GUYS..MY NET IS ACTING UP. IT IS ALSO THE REASON I COULD ONLY UPLOAD LESS THAN HALF OF THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE IT WASN'T LOADING WHEN I ADDED THE ENTIRE TEXT. I'LL TRY TO SORT IT OUT WHEN MY NET IS FULLY FUNCTIONING BUT HOPE YOU'LL AT LEAST ENJOY THIS LITTLE SNIPPET.

THANKS FOR READING

-DoUbL.e.A

-unedit.