Chapter 26

~John’s POV~

These days if I managed to get a wink of sleep I was lucky. Too many thoughts, too many unwanted emotions, distractions, hopes and fears; they all kept me up at night staring at the ceiling of my too large room and this night was no different. In the morning Nate and I would be heading out to question the kid’s mother and my mind was on everything but that all important meeting.

I rubbed my thumb over the palm of my left hand again and again as the thoughts swirled in my mind; the most prominent one being Eddie; my friend, my brother.

I still refused to believe he was gone; not him, a man like that deserved to have the years he’d been promised, deserved to settle down and marry his woman then grow old with a flock of kids at his feet. A guy like that didn’t deserve to have his life snuffed out without even his friends around to offer comfort in his last hour.

Nate had to be wrong. Our Eddie was a fighter, always had been and it definitely wasn’t his time to go, but then Nate was always one to work with the facts placed before him. He’d never been one for hope and optimism; a fucking realist through and through.

I took a breath.

Every time I closed my eyes I was bombarded by memories of a man closer to me than a brother. I’d practically begged Nate not to let him in on the assignment. He was a damn good agent but he had too much heart, he was too kind, too sensitive to the plight of others; undercover work didn’t suit a man like that and now my greatest fear had been realized.

I took a breath.

He couldn’t be gone. I felt the persistent pain in my chest at just the mere thought of him lying in a cold grave; lifeless and I shook my head trying to clear it. I was sick of these thoughts, these distracting emotions. I had to focus.

There were only two people in this world I gave a damn about and if Eddie really was gone then I had to do everything I could to make sure Nate was safe, which meant I had to focus on our trip tomorrow; not get worked up over things I couldn’t change.

I took a breath.

I continued running my thumb against my palm, fighting with my mind to think of something else, anything else; like maybe the ease with which we’d escaped from the penitentiary; it suggested an inside job and I couldn’t ignore the feeling that this was somehow connected; that it was all connected.

“Johnny?” I looked toward the door when I heard my barely whispered name on the other side and shook my head.

I hadn’t been able to listen to the news since our escape but as soon as I could I would. If I could get an idea of the men who had escaped it would give me at least a clue into-

“Johnny! Are you awake?” with gritted teeth I listened as Kyle jiggled the door knob, testing to see if it was open.

If I knew who escaped it would at least answer some of the questions I had and would quite possibly give me a clue into-

“Johnny!” then the knocking came, soft and controlled but with the almost stifling silence of the place it sounded annoyingly loud.

I looked up at the ceiling with a muttered curse. This was just another one of my problems; Kyle; the persistent throb in my side that would quite possibly never go away.

“I can practically feel your glare through the door…open up I have something to tell you.”

I shook my head. “Then tell me and go to bed.” I called back.

There was a pause in the knocking, then I heard a thud as if he had pressed himself against the door. My eyes narrowed.

“I promise you John, you don’t want me shouting this through a door, unless you want the others to know our business…” he trailed off.

Our business. As always the kid was delusional. “Then tell me in the morning.”

“It’s freezing out here, can you just open the door so I can tell you, then I’ll be out of your hair, I promise.”

I think I could even sense that lie from a mile away. I turned my attention back to the ceiling, trying to recall my earlier thoughts. I couldn’t deal with Kyle tonight.

If it really was an inside job, to get that level of cooperation couldn’t have been easy unless you held some extraordinary power…which brought me back to the warden; but allowing an escape of this magnitude at your own prison had to be bad for his reputation so why would he have orchestrated this if in the end, it could quite possibly have led to his downfall. This whole thing wasn’t making any sense.

“I’ll stay out here and freeze until you open this door.”

So what if it wasn’t the warden, what if there was someone else, someone bigger pulling the strings…but it would all still lead to the same question; why allow the escape? what was the point of it all?

I heard another thud as if he had slid to the floor and I imagined him sitting on the freezing tiles with the back of his head resting on the door, waiting for me to open up.

“Go to bed Kyle, we’ll talk in the morning.”

No answer.

I gave it a few minutes but it was uncomfortably silent out there. “Kyle?”

Nothing.

With a curse I pushed up from the bed, throwing the sheets off me in annoyance. When I released the lock and pulled the door open, Kyle, who had indeed been resting against it fell in and I glared at him while he looked up at me from where he was sprawled on my floor.

“Say what you need to say and go.” I muttered, then watched as he scrambled to his feet and before I could blink, he had shot inside the room, grinning as he climbed up into my bed.

I really didn’t have the energy to fight with him. Not tonight with all these thoughts and feelings rolling around in my mind. With a glance out the hall, I pushed my door closed and dropped into the chair by the open closet door, my head propped in my hand as my mind drifted.

Kyle watched me with a pout.

“You okay?”

I glanced at him with raised brows. “Don’t I look okay?”

He shrugged. “You look kinda sad actually. Are you thinking about Eddie?” he asked, the concern sneaking into his expression.

“No I was thinking I need to get to sleep and you’re keeping me up.” I said to make a point but of course he couldn’t take a hint.

“I kinda miss him too. He was really nice wasn’t he?” he got this far away look in his eyes as he said the words. “I remember when he-”

“Stop talking about him like he’s dead” I growled in anger and he looked on at me in confusion.

“But Nate said-“

“Fuck what Nate said. There’s no way Eddie’s gone, he…” I trailed off when he smiled. And I shook my head and looked away. I needed to calm down and I needed him out.

“This is the thing people don’t seem to get.” Kyle began. “They all see you as this grumpy guy, who hates everybody and wants to be alone, but you wanna know what I see?”

I ran my hand over my head; I was finally letting my hair grow out after two years of keeping it bald. I chose not to look at him.

He continued anyway, “I think you’re the sweetest guy I know.”

The kid was high on something.

“You’re kind, you care even though you act like you don’t, but you’ve got the biggest heart out of all of us here and you know what else?”

I didn’t have to respond, he’d tell me what was on his mind either way.

“I think you’re lonely.”

I finally looked at him. “That what you came in here to tell me? that I’m lonely?”

I didn’t even try to conceal my annoyance.

“No, I came here because I like your company, I like being around you.” He said.

That was something else that didn’t make sense.

“Really now and why is that?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” when I only looked at him he rolled his eyes.

“Because I love you dumbass!” he exclaimed.

And there it was; the words everyone but me was dying to hear.

“It’s okay Johnny, don’t have an aneurism. I don’t expect you to say it back, I already know you feel the same.” He said it with such confidence it almost bordered on cockiness and I decided it was pointless to argue with him. The kid rarely listened to me anyway and something told me this time would be no different.

“I’ve known for a while now actually.” He continued, looking as snug as a bug in a fucking rug. I watched as he nestled deeper under my sheets.

“Have you now?” the sarcasm dripped from my voice like a broken faucet.

He ignored it and pulled my pillow under his head. “Yup.”

It was just what I needed tonight. What did it matter that I had Kyle’s infatuation to worry about, after all I already had Eddie, the escape, the meeting tomorrow and a million other things running through my mind right? I was practically an expert.

With a grunt I pushed up from my seat and made my way over to the too large bed.

“You planning to go back to your own room anytime soon? I asked, already knowing the answer.

“I’m staying here with you.”

Of course he was.

I slipped under the sheets, dragged my pillow from him and returned to my usual routine of staring up at the ceiling, willing my mind to shut down so I could finally get some sleep.

When Kyle made a slight move towards me I shot him a look and he froze. “You move even an inch closer and you’re out of here.” I warned.

He settled again with a sigh and I tried to focus on anything but the heat drifting off his body and the smell of his recently shampooed hair, but my body responded as it always did to his nearness and I gritted my teeth and took a breath. I found myself listening to the sound of his steady breathing and after a while all other thoughts gradually fled and he was the only thing on my mind.

I had a sweet tooth and God damn if he didn’t smell like the sweetest candy I had yet to taste. I cursed in the silence of the room and for the first time since I had issued my warning he turned to look at me.

“I say we just get it over with.” He said simply. No playful smiles or annoying little smirks. His eyes, when they met mine in the dimly lit room, were serious and a jolt went through my body.

“Go to sleep.”

But instead of following the command he reached across the mattress and the heated flesh of his palm made contact with the skin of my waist. I grabbed his arm to remove the intrusive limb and he took hold of my hand.

I looked up at him. “For once in your life just stop running from something you obviously want so desperately.” And before I could retaliate he had leaned across the small space and his mouth was on mine.

It was as soft and supple as I had expected. His lips smooth and full against mine. I should have pulled away and I would have if he hadn’t taken it upon himself to close the distance between us so effectively that he was pressed tightly against my side. I felt his hardness through the thin material and the heat from his skin surrounded me until I was so caught up in it I couldn’t offer much protest.

His mouth opened ever so slightly above mine and for a minute our tongues fought for control until he was moaning and grinding against me.

At one point I managed to pull away, my eyes glazed with pleasure, my body hot and wanting. “This is-”

“Perfect…” he finished and his lips were once again pressed against mine. I didn’t know when he crawled on top of me, I only felt the press of his thigh against my swollen member and his searching hands trailing over my chest.

A hundred reason why this was wrong ran through my mind and for the first time, I didn’t do the logical thing, for once I chose to go with what I felt rather than what was best and so pushing the voice of reason aside I reached up, running my hand through his short hair while trailing another under his cotton shirt, over his smooth skin and across his puckered nipple. He shivered and I did it again deepening the kiss.

Just this once I’d give in, all my protest wouldn’t be for nothing if it was just one night. One night of total abandon that would take my mind off all my worries.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” I broke off for a moment and managed to get the words out and he shook his head, his lips seeking mine again.

“I’m not some innocent virgin Johnny, I can handle my business.” He assured me with the confidence of an experienced male and I allowed him to pull my shirt off, his lips dotting over my chest.

When I ran my palm along his arm he paused and pulled it away. I watched him in confusion, too drunk in the moment to fully process his actions. “I don’t want you to be gentle John.” It had been awhile since he’d called me John and the name sounded strange on his lips. I registered the far from innocent gleam in his eyes as he leaned down, then I could feel his breath against my ear.

“I like it rough.” The whispered words were all I needed to hear before I threw all caution to the wind and flipped him over; all reservations gone, all logical thinking replaced by fire and sweat and deep-rooted, all-consuming need.

…………………………………….

I woke the next morning more calm than I’d felt in a long time. I stretched, checked the time and lay there waiting for the regret to consume me but it didn’t come, there was no guilt, no shame, just a strange sense emptiness.

I didn’t know how to feel about the night before, wasn’t sure how things would be from now on and I glanced to my left where Kyle still lay in deep sleep, the sheets wrapped around his naked flesh, his hair a mess and his lips red and swollen from my ministrations.

He didn’t stir when I pushed up from the bed, nor did he shift when I gathered my clothes and made my way to the bathroom. By the time breakfast came around he hadn’t made an appearance and I pushed all thoughts of him from my mind as I tried to concentrate on what Nate was saying.

We’d be visiting Riley’s mother at her workplace which turned out to be some restaurant I’d never heard of deep into the city because visiting her home would be too risky. Riley was worried that she’d call the police the moment she spotted us and as always, whenever we were confronted with the small matter of our true identities we lied and lied well.

“We’ll wear disguises it’ll be fine. We’ve got everything figured out.” Nate said smoothly. It didn’t particularly appease the kid but it got him to stop voicing his worry and we fell silent once more; stuffing our faces with the meal Nate had prepared.

Every now and then Riley would give me these looks, like we shared some juicy secret between us and eventually I pushed up from the table to finish my food on the comfort of the couch.

By the time Kyle made an appearance I was deep into one of the DVD’s that I’d found in the stack and didn’t realize he’d entered the room until he was walking towards me, plate of food in hand and a huge smile of his face.

“Morning.” He said cheerfully dropping himself into the cushion beside me and I grunted a short hello before turning my attention back to the film.

“Do you think you guys could get some ice cream on your way back?” he asked after biting into his sandwich.

“We’re not going on a shopping expedition Kyle, we’re going to find out what the woman knows then we’ll be back here. We can’t risk fooling around, this is important.” I explained.

He took another bite, chewing enthusiastically, “Get chocolate too okay? I haven’t had candy in forever.”

I stared at him, letting my annoyance show and he stared back; still chewing. It was as if he hadn’t heard a word I said and instead of arguing I shook my head and turned back to my show.

“Yeah sure.” I muttered darkly.

…………………………………………

“We’ll be right back, just stay inside and try not to make any noise, no one should come up this way but it’s still possible. Don’t answer the door for anyone and don’t do anything stupid.” Nate warned, then he took out the small cheap cell phone and handed it to Riley.

“This is for emergencies, meaning if there is a serious problem, you call me; no one else and don’t use it unless you absolutely have to, you understand?” Riley nodded, biting his lip and I turned away from the two, throwing our equipment into the trunk.

“If we’re not back by the end of the day, call this number. It’s Ringo’s, he’ll help you two out.”

When I slammed the trunk and turned around I almost walked right into Kyle who stood before me looking very much like Riley did; worried for absolutely no reason.

I was surprised when he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me and for a second I stood there stunned, then not knowing what else to do I reached up and patted his head awkwardly.

“Be careful okay?” he said when he pulled away and with a nod and a grunt I made my way around to the driver’s seat and got in. A moment later, after they were safely stowed away in the cabin, Nate joined me and we were off.

It took us exactly two and a half hours to get into town. First we dropped by Nate’s apartment so we could pick up our suits and badges, then fully decked out in our gear, we made our way to the address. The restaurant turned out to be a little bed and breakfast type establishment that clearly wasn’t doing as well as the owners would have wanted.

The smell of oil and gravy hit me when I first stepped through the door. The walls were peeling, the table tops scratched and the chair paddings torn, otherwise it wasn’t too bad; if the only reason you came to a restaurant was for the clean floors that is.

I allowed Nate to do the talking and not long after his inquiry, we were being led to a secluded area at the back of the restaurant and politely offered a seat by the manager. A minute later we were able to meet Riley’s mother for the first time.

She was a tall woman, a little round in the middle. She had sad little eyes, below which housed dark circles as if she hadn’t been getting enough sleep. Her dark hair was pulled into a sloppy ponytail and her hands, which she held tightly in front of her were small and scarred.

She offered us both a small smile before taking a seat and after brief introductions we got right down to business. So far she simply thought we were FBI agents looking into her son’s escape and we played along with that perfectly. Probably because it was the truth.

“I understand that you’ve been visited by officers multiple times but we simply need to clarify some things Ms. Parker.”

She was surprisingly cooperative, although a bit apprehensive and after a series of procedural questions we finally got down to the Nitty-gritty of why we were really there.

“Could you just run through the statement you gave the police the night your boyfriend was killed please?”

She looked at us strangely when we got to that particular question and I took it all in, cataloging her every emotion to discuss with Nate later.

“You mean my husband.” She said slowly and it was our turn to be confused.

“Pardon me?”

“You mean my husband…I didn’t have a boyfriend.”

I looked at Nate and he glanced at me briefly before turning his attention back to her.

“I apologize Ms. Parker but, I was led to believe that the man who was killed was your boyfriend Joseph Menza?”

She shook her head. “No and I meant to correct you earlier but I go by the name Cheryl Menza, Parker is my maiden name. Joseph and I were separated but we were still husband and wife.”

I tried not to let my confusion break across my expression but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t totally confused by all this.