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Chapter 16

We were given the clearance to go back to our cell about an hour later after the doc had completed all her checks. Riley was unresponsive in the sense that his usual incessant chatter was missing and I wondered if the doctor had had the right idea by sending him away.

When the cuffs were finally removed and we were being locked into our small space; he immediately headed for his bunk and after kicking off his boots he curled up onto his side, his back facing the wall.

I pulled up the only chair in the room and lowered myself into it, directly in front of his bed. He watched as I kicked off my own boots and plopped my feet onto the bed, my toes brushing his side.

"How are you feeling?"

He shrugged "I thought I could handle being in here for the rest of my life if you'd be here with me but even with you here I can't handle it. I gotta get out." His expression had become one of desperation as he said the words and I sought to appease him.

"You just need to be patient, I'll try to help you in any way I can, just don't go thinking of doing something stupid." I warned and he offered no response, but continued to stare on me as if the words coming out of my mouth made absolutely no difference to him.

I'd have to watch him more closely from now on.

 I allowed a brief silence to pass between us, in which time Riley kept his eyes firmly planted on my face, as if he were memorizing every inch of it, as if it was the most important thing in that moment and I frowned, wondering what was going through his mind.

"How well do you know Jerry?" I asked rather than taking up an issue I'd rather not discuss and his brows furrowed.

"I've known him all my life. Why?"

"But how well do you really know him? You said he went to prison once, what was he in for and why's he so interested in helping you?"

Riley finally sat up in bed, his legs bent under him as he appraised me. "Why are you suddenly so interested in Jerry?"

"Think about it Riley. You finally get a break in your case and the minute you call him, the one person who could get you out ends up dead." I trailed off, letting him come to the only conclusion he could after such a statement and when realization dawned, so did his anger and I watched as his mouth tightened and his fists clenched.

"Don't you dare try to blame that on Jerry, he's a good man, the only person who's given a shit about me since I got here."

"Did you stop to think that the only reason he's given a shit is because he's the real murderer, or at least trying to cover up for one? Maybe he's just here to keep an eye on things, make sure the truth never comes to light." I suggested and Riley frowned, his eyes piercing mine in their angry intensity.

"He's a good guy, stop trying to put this all on him. It was just a coincidence." He said firmly and his naïveté annoyed me.

"I don't believe in coincidences and you need to stop trying to find the good in everybody. Look where you are." I gestured to the dirty wall surrounding us, "humans betray each other. It's life and you need to start considering the fact that your little friend Jerry isn't a great as you think he is."

"Just shut up you don't know what you're saying. You're too cynical, that's your problem. When Malone showed up, he was scared, like he thought somebody would find out he'd come so it could have easily been someone working here who did it." He explained then cut me off before I could get another word in,

"I've considered every possible scenario, just as you have, I'm no fool Nate." He said my name forcefully as if willing me to accept it, "and Jerry isn't involved." He finished with absolute certainly and I knew there would be no point in arguing with him over it today.

"Believe what you want, I'll find out for myself who did this." I told him with determination and after staring into my eyes for a few seconds; searching for...something, he finally nodded and stretched out on the bed once more, the battered pillow bunched under his head.

"You can hold me now." He announced then and when my eyes landed on his face I noticed the stress from earlier had returned. He suddenly looked so tired and worn lying there, but it was the deadpanned voice he used when he said the words that worried me and I pushed up from the chair and moved to stretch out beside him, pulling him close enough that not even air could pass between us.

He grabbed my hand and held, his nails biting into my flesh and I used my free hand to run my fingers along his side, trying to ease his tension. He didn't relax.

"What are you thinking?" I asked him then, hoping that through talking he would finally be able to unwind.

He hesitated the sighed, burrowing his head into my neck and I felt his warm breath against my flesh

"You'll get mad if I tell you." He said then and took a deep breath.

"If it's the escape shit again then-"

"No not that...worse." He said and I frowned.

"Tell me." I ordered and his hesitation fed my concern.

"You have to promise you won't get mad." He said, sounding like the innocent kid he was and I sighed, my jaws clenched.

"Just spill it Riley."

 Brief hesitation "I was thinking...I was thinking how nice it would be if we got out of here and...started a life together." When I didn't reply right away he went on, his voice lowered almost to a mumble.

"And I was thinking how much I love you." And I swallowed hard. The words upset me, but for him to think they were worse than even the thought of escaping was...ridiculous. What did I expect though; with the way I'd gone on about his feelings of course he'd be terrified of sharing them.

He borrowed even closer then, "Are you mad?" he asked, his tension back in full force and I shook my head.

"No I'm not mad." I assured him.

I just didn't know what to say.

.......................................................

We were in deep sleep, Riley wrapped in my arms when I heard the rattling of the cell bars. My eyes shot open and extricated myself from him to see what the disturbance about and caught sight of the guard who was standing there, his expression unreadable.

"Visitor for you." He said but he was looking at Riley and when I turned I realized for the first time that he was wide awake; looking tired.

"V-Visitor?" he asked uncertainly, his eyes flashing to mine and I could imagine what was going through his mind, after all, the last time he'd had a visitor things hadn't turned out so well in the end.

"A Jerry Sullivan." The guard offered and I watched as Riley wrapped his hands around his legs and shrunk against the wall.

"I don't want any visitors today." He mumbled, then looked at me and said more forcefully "and it's not because of what you said. I'm just tired." He finished and I nodded, turning once more to the guard.

"You sure kid?" he asked and at Riley's nod he turned to go but I approached the bars and called out to him.

"Ask Jerry if he wants to see me instead." I said, "Tell him I'm Riley's cell mate."

The guard cocked a brow, "I look like a delivery guy to you?"

"Please, it's important." I said again, barely keeping from gritting my teeth. I was used to people obeying my orders, even after almost two years holed up in this joint, insubordination still rubbed me the wrong way...and this guy didn't even work with me.

I watched as he glanced at Riley who was still huddled in his little corner looking completely breakable and I was surprised at the sympathy I saw in the guard's eyes as he looked at my cellie.

"What's wrong with the kid?" he asked then and I shook my head.

"He's just not taking to prison life so well." I explained and after one last look at Riley the guard finally agreed to my request.

"I'll find out if he wants to see you."

Ten minutes later he was unlocking my cell and when Riley gave me a small wave I offered him a weak smile before turning down the corridor, allowing the guard to escort me to the visitor's room.

..........................................

~Riley's POV~

Everything hurt.

My eyes, my face, my head....but I think it was my insides that hurt the most. My heart and my thoughts and I wished I could just go numb to all the negative emotions. The moment I'd learned of the homicide, I'd felt as if all the hope in the world was just gone. Now all I felt was doomed; in this rotten place with the thieves and the killers and the rapists.

I rolled over on the bed, facing the wall and pulled the thin sheet over my body. I was going to get out of here, whether it was through escape or...or something worse, because if I stayed any longer I would go crazy with wanting and I just couldn't deal with it anymore.

I didn't know how long I lay there brooding but I turned quickly when I heard the door being opened and my eyes widened when the guard from earlier stepped through and closed the door behind him. He was a big man, tall and a little pudgy around the waist.

His hair was greying ant the temples and his face was wrinkled. He didn't look as old as Jerry but he was getting there and I wondered, hands shaking, why he was in my cell.

I watched with apprehension as he pulled up the chair and like Nathan had done earlier, sat right in front of me. I felt helpless with the sheets covering me and my feet bare, but leaned as far away from him as possible.

He watched me with what I could only describe as sympathy and curled my hands into the sheets. Waiting.

"What are you doing in this place kid?" he asked then and I didn't know how to answer him so I remained silent, looking to the doors, willing Nate to get back.

The guard didn't react to my silence just watched me, expression the same.

"I've got a boy around your age, just packed him off to college. He wants to be a journalist." He explained and I nodded slowly, wondering where this was going.

"He'll make a good one too, got himself some killer instincts my boy." He said like the proud father, "Just like his old man."

I nodded again, eyes darting between the guard and the door and back. "I'm only telling you this because something tells me you don't belong here and I know that sometimes us guards probably seem like a heartless bunch, you know, the ones to fear, but it doesn't mean we don't see you guys as human beings." He trailed off, then continued after a brief pause.

"If it was my son in here...I'd want him to know he wasn't alone. I hope it works out for you boy." He stood then and offered a hand. I looked at it, but refused to move even an inch closer and he withdrew it. Nodding in understanding with a small gentle smile.

"Just know if you need to talk I'm here, ask for guard Kelly." Then he turned to leave and that's when I finally spoke.

"Why are you being so nice to me? What do you want?"

Then he shook his head. "It's sad when a kid your age can only see bad in the world. You're new to the system, an innocent, I guess I'm just hoping you won't turn out like all the others who've passed through these doors. It never ends well for them." He said and I frowned.

"It ended the second I got thrown in here."

"That's where you're wrong kid. Life aint over just cause you feel trapped. Call me up sometime and I'll show ya."

Then he was gone and for the first time since Malone's death, I felt a niggle of hope that maybe...just maybe things wouldn't be so bad. I had my entire crew rooting for me, I had Nathan willing to help me, I had my lawyers, Jerry and now this stranger. Maybe, just maybe it wasn't the end.

I dropped back onto the bed, my head nestled between the pillow and the wall and fell into a deep sleep where I dreamt about Nate and a dog and our life on the outside. It was a good dream and I prayed it would one day become a reality.

......................................

~Nathan's POV~

Jerry wasn't anything like I expected. He was a frail old man with intelligent eyes coupled with a kind smile that had me wondering if I'd been wrong in my assessment of him earlier. That maybe it really was just a coincidence.

"Is Riley okay?" was the first thing he asked and even a fool couldn't miss the concern in his expression.

"Not good." I said, then when he frowned, his concern deepening I went on, deciding I wouldn't give him the chance to lead the conversation. I had a limited amount of time to figure out as much as I could about the guy sitting before me for Riley's sake.

"I'm sure you heard about his friend's visit." I began and he nodded slowly.

"It's sad what happened to that boy." He said and my eyes narrowed.

"You do realize how it looks...Riley calls you and the guy shows up dead-"

"Is that why Riley won't see me? because he thinks I have something to do with his friend's death?" he cut me off, the kind eyes flecked with anger. I read all the expressions crossing his face, cataloging them and assessing each one, then I took in his body language, the tension set in his shoulder before I took in the set of his mouth and the clenching of his fists.

"Murder Jerry. He was murdered." I bit out and Jerry shook his head, threw the books he'd up until now held lightly in his hands onto the table before me and pushed up from his seat.

"Give those to Riley and tell him I'll be back next week, same time as always." He said then turned and left before I could respond and I didn't try to stop him.

I looked down at the three novels strewn across the table and shook my head before gathering them up and allowed the guard to take me away.

I'd learned a lot about him despite the briefness of the visit and one thing I knew for sure was that Jerry had nothing to do with that kid's murder. Just like that, the case had became more complicated than ever.

Riley was playing catch with the small ball I usually used when I entered the cell a few minutes later and only stopped when I dropped the books onto the bed. He glanced down at the titles then refocused his attention on me.

"So? What did he say?" he asked and my eyes narrowed.

"You were right, he has nothing to do with it."

He offered a small smile, then said sarcastically; "I had no idea, how'd you figure?"

I reached over to ruffle his mussed hair and he latched onto my arm pulling me down beside him onto his bunk. I went willingly, kicking off my shoes and stretching out in the small space; my head on his lap.

"I have killer instincts...Jerry's clean." I told him simply, then closed my eyes against the glare of the light as a headache formed.

"I didn't doubt it, you're the cynic remember?" he said playfully and I finally noticed the change in his mood.

He was no longer sulking or sitting there unresponsive, neither was he back to his perky self but there was a change for the better and I opened my eyes, looking up at him as he stared down at me.

"You okay?" I asked and he shrugged.

"Why are you so... lively all of a sudden?" and he shrugged again.

"Someone made me see that maybe there's reason to be." He said simply and I nodded slowly, not really following but glad he was at least turning back into the Riley I lov- knew, the Riley I knew.

I closed my eyes when he began to run his fingers through my hair and as I thought about his situation and how I could possibly help him I suddenly felt burdened. The reason I was actually here was no longer at the forefront of my mind. It was just Riley, it was all Riley and I found myself worrying about what would happen if I couldn't get him out.

If I couldn't do it through legal means would I even consider breaking him out? As a man of the law who had worked all his life to be an upstanding citizen, to put the bad guys behind bars so that my country could be safe, did I really have it in me to break the law just to save one kid?

I opened my eyes then and shifted my head to really look at him and he smiled; looking small and innocent and when he lowered his head so that our lips met in a gentle yet searing kiss, I had my answer.

The kid had finally gotten under my skin.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

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-DoUbLe.A

-unedited (duh)