Chapter 11

~Nathan’s POV~

“Too much has gone into this already Nate, I can’t give you boys anymore time.”

I wasn’t exactly surprised by the chief’s words, after all, we’d had two years to do this and it was only now, with little over two months to go, that we were making a break in the case, but if we didn’t take the bastards down then that would be two years of our lives wasted and I couldn’t live with that. I wouldn’t.

“Sir this could possibly be the biggest case our department has seen in years. This drug op could save the lives of hundreds… no thousands of people, we can’t afford to let it go.”

“You don’t need to sell it to me Greyson, I know what’s at stake but it doesn’t mean there’s a damn thing I can do about it. Not even I can pull those kinds of strings. I gave you two years and now I’m giving you two and a half months. If you don’t get it done then that’s it. Case closed.”

And there in lay the enormity of the load on my shoulders. Two and a half months to take down the highly reputed warden of a maximum security facility.

“Then I guess I don’t have much of a choice then.” I said and the chief turned to look out the floor to ceiling window of his office.

“Eat up Nate, you have a lot of planning to do.”

I glanced down at my uneaten burger and fries; my mouth watering. I hated to partake in this meal when my men were still stuck in that hellhole scrambling for scraps. I sighed and took a bite of the treat while my mind picked and refused ideas that it produced as a way of getting through this predicament on top.

I had exactly five hours left before I’d be carted back to the courthouse and then to the prison and I was both dreading it and anxious to get back. I’d gone over the plans with the chief so many times that it was just about cemented in my mind; now it just had to work and my fear was that it wouldn’t.

I stood and walked around the office, pacing the room for a while; my mind consumed with thoughts of the end result of all our undercover work as well as the steps we would have to take to prevent two years of hell from going down the drain.

It was I tried to process it all that the chief reentered the room. His expression was as it always was; one of dissatisfaction tinged with annoyance and I knew that my next question would only add to his already downtrodden disposition.

“I’m going to need you to get me file on one of the inmates; Riley Parker.” There was a question in there somewhere.

The chief moved to grab a seat at his desk and shuffled around a few papers before responding.

“Riley Parker, is he one of D-Fox’s guys?”

“No, my cell mate.” I figured I’d just get it out of the way because knowing him, he’d make it his duty to find out anyway.

The boss’s brows furrowed and he leaned forward with sudden interest. “Your cell mate’s in on it? Why didn’t you say so, you’ve got the perfect opportunity to find out what he knows about the warden.” I could practically smell the excitement oozing off him and I hated to be the one to kill his sudden burst of enthusiasm but…

“No he has nothing to do with the operation. He’s completely clueless.” I was quick to explain and I watched as the chief deflated.

“Then why do you need his file?”

“I need to know who I’m sharing space with don’t I? Can’t be too careful.” I said nonchalantly and by the narrowing of his beady eyes I could tell he didn’t buy it for a second, but as was his way; he chose to give me the benefit of the doubt and was already nodding his agreement.

“I can have it delivered here within the hour, now go make yourself scarce, I’ve got a phone call to make.” He issued and I stepped out of the room and into his hallway. This was the second time I’d been to his home office and like the first, I was impressed by its opulence. Looking around at the beauty having a trust fund could get you, I decided I’d take a little tour to kill the time.

…………………………………..

I stared down at the semi thick file before me wondering why I was even investing myself in all this. Where was the Nathan who was always completely focused on the case? The man who pledged never to be sidetracked by things that would only take away from duty? Only a short time left to go and I’d changed so much I could hardly recognize myself and I suppose that was the reason I needed to do this now.

I needed to know who I was dealing with and why it was that I felt as if it were suddenly easy to accept someone who possibly played a part in maliciously ending someone else’s life. I took hold of the edge of the paper file jacket and turned the page; fully prepared to uncover all I could about Riley’s past.

…………………………………….

~Riley’s POV~

I never thought it would happen but with Nathan gone Kyle was just about the bravest dude you could find. The minute lunch rolled around he’d somehow injected himself into the crew; chatting up with the guys and making himself at home. It was strange to see, yet somewhat exciting.

I think what surprised me the most was the reception he’d received from the guys; of course with the exception of sour puss John. After their initial shock at his boldness and failure to scare him off they’d simply taken it in stride and an actual conversation was blooming at the usually somber table.

As unfortunate as it was; it said a lot about Nathan. If I hadn’t realized it before then now I was certain that he was the one who kept these guys inline. Sure they had fun when he was around; what with their ‘friendly’ insults (usually thrown my way) and their usually dirty jokes but this side of them was different. More open; as if they’d finally allowed themselves to relax and let go.

As I watched them interact however, I came to the conclusion that while they were freer, they were also wilder and just a little disruptive; a fact which had me glancing back at the guards every few minutes.

I didn’t even think they realized how loud they were getting. I certainly wouldn’t be the one to spoil their fun but I could see why they needed Nate as their leader.

Kyle’s attraction to John also couldn’t be more obvious to me. It was there every time he went out of his way to involve John in the conversation even though he very well knew John just wanted him to piss off, but to be honest if I didn’t know better I’d think dear old Johnny boy was actually enjoying Kyle’s attempts at drawing him out; if the ever present smirks were anything to go by.

Overall it had been a good day. I still wasn’t anymore accepted than I had been before Kyle came along, but it was fun to see the crew interact with my new friend and to welcome him as I had.

Despite it all though, I missed Nathan even more than I thought I would; which was saying a lot. I’d become so accustomed to having his arms around me as I slept, that last night I hadn’t been able to sleep a wink.

I just wanted him back as soon as possible and so my eyes never strayed very far from the large clock that hung on the cafeteria wall in the center of the room. He’d said he’d probably be back by evening.

“I don’t know man, my brother’s crazy. So he jumped off the roof, landed on the-”

I droned Kyle’s retelling of some childhood prank and turned back to the book Nate had left on my bunk the night before. It was actually pretty good and even though I wasn’t really a ‘mystery novel’ type of guy I’d already reached halfway through.

“Nate.”

I glanced up at John’s announcement and a grin that I couldn’t even hope to contain broke out on my face when I saw Nathan walking over to our table. He nodded at John and the others who looked at him in silent question. Then I watched as his eyes narrowed as they roved over Kyle who’d suddenly gone silent before they landed on me.

“Nate we have things to discuss.” John was quick to say, pushing up from his seat but Nate held up a hand to stop him and I watched the two with mild curiosity; my smile not quite as large as it had been before.

“We’ll talk later, I need to have a word with Riley first.” When he said this, it was the first time I’d realized how serious his expression was; even more so than usual and I immediately felt guilty for absolutely no real reason.

I saw John shoot me an annoyed glare before I pushed up and followed Nate to one of only a few empty tables available.

“So…how was your trip?” I asked awkwardly when we sat, cracking my knuckles on the table.

“Insightful.” Was his only reply and when he stared at me looking as serious as I’d seen him in a while, I felt the urge to hold my head down like a scolded child.

“I’m going to ask you one question and I need an honest answer okay?”

Heart thumping. “O…kay?”

“Did you murder your mother’s ex-boyfriend?” his voice calm but I could sense something just below the surface. Something I didn’t want to tempt.

I didn’t even ask him how he seemed to know the facts, it was plain as day that my answer was the only thing he wanted to hear and as I straightened up in my seat and held his eyes I decided to give him my answer one the last time.

“I didn’t murder him or anyone. I’m innocent.” Don’t flinch. Don’t waver.

He gazed at me for what felt like a long time; as if he was searching for something he was having difficulty finding, then just like that, he seemed to relax and regard me with something that looked just a little bit like acceptance.

“What happened?” he asked then and that’s where I drew the line. I’d spent a long time trying to forget it all and I didn’t feel like rehashing it now and certainly not in a cafeteria teeming with all these people I didn’t even want to see.

“I’ll tell you…but not now. Not today.” I said then glanced around me, looking at nothing in particular.

“You’ve been reading the book.” He commented then and I looked back around taking in his softer expression. I allowed myself to smile, but only a little.

“Yeah.” I held it up to show him how far I’d gotten to.

And then while I had the nerve; on to the question I was dreading to ask. “How did your appeal go?”

Looking back at this moment I’d describe his expression as one of sadness mixed with…guilt?” but as I sat there I thought I saw uncertainty.

“My sentence has been reduced. I’ll be out in two and a half months.” He said fluidly and the pain in my heart at his unexpected bombshell was sudden.

I didn’t know why it was that it shocked me to know that it had gone well and I knew I was being the worst kind of person for not congratulating him right then. Instead I just sat there, staring at him in horror as my mind fully processed his words and their implications.

He was leaving and not just going away for a day leaving, leaving leaving. I swallowed hard against the bitter taste in my mouth and blinked back the tears that just wouldn’t stay away.

I think I even opened my mouth a few times but when no words came I closed it again. It was only after I’d taken a few breaths that I was finally able to get something out.

“That’s a good thing…right?” I’d managed to turn it into a question but I couldn’t help but watch his expression while he answered, hoping that I’d heard wrong and he’d be staying with me.

My selfishness knew no bounds.

When he answered, his small smile was one of pity. “Yeah…yeah I suppose it is.”

I took a breath, then another. “I’m gonna go back to the guys now.” I told him then, pushing up from my seat without glancing his way.

“Are you sure?” I thought I heard concern in his voice but really who cared? He was leaving. It was over.

He followed me to the table where I dropped myself down into my usual seat and he pulled up a chair beside me. I couldn’t even look at him, instead I focused all my attention on the small slash on the surface of the table before me.

“What’s his problem?” I heard John ask then and I couldn’t even manage to get mad at his condescending tone.

“He got some bad news.” Nate replied and I froze.

Those words. It was those words spoken by Nate that made everything come pouring out.

He got some bad news

Which meant that Nate knew how I felt about him…enough to know that his announcement that he was leaving was bad news for me and it’s what finally tore into me and left me vulnerable. He was leaving and I wouldn’t even have my ‘secret’ feelings for him as comfort; he’d be taking everything with him and it wasn’t fair.

I wasn’t sure when the tears really started; but I could feel the soft sobs wracking my body as I tried to come to terms with everything I’d lose. I wished I could just go to my room, curl up in a corner and let it all out. Instead I was stuck in the crowded room, with my head to the table and my heart breaking.

I felt more than one hand come to pat my back as I cried but I couldn’t tell who were the ones who tried to offer comfort and in that moment I didn’t care. Nate was leaving and it hurt too much to keep in.

“It’s okay Riley, whatever it is, we’ll deal with it okay? I’ll help you.” I heard Kyle whispering the words in my ear and I imagined it was his hand that was forming circles in the center of my back. There was someone else’s hand patting my shoulder and yet another running through my hair and I thought it ironic that the one time my crew had decided to show they cared was the one time I just wanted them to all disappear.

When my sobbing died down minutes later I still kept my forehead on the table; too ashamed to look up at anyone as I sniffled and felt sorry for myself. The first thing I noticed was that no one around the table said a word. Then I felt a hand on my arm and realized Nate was saying something to me.

“Are you okay?” he was asking.

Of course I wasn’t okay. The man I loved was leaving in two months and with my luck I’d probably never see him again, but I nodded anyway and his hand fell away.

I heard him push up from the table and someone else left with him but I just sat there; feeling cold and empty and heartbroken.

It wasn’t long after that that the buzzer sounded for REC period and I pushed up from the desk. I caught the concerned faces of my crew mates but I didn’t know what to say to them so I just followed the crowd that would take me to the library. I needed to be alone with my books.

On my way there I spotted Nate standing against the far wall; in deep conversation with John and I quickly looked away. Seeing him brought back too many unspent emotions and no one needed a repeat of my earlier behavior.

The quietness of the library allowed a calm to descend over me but it wasn’t long before I had company. Kyle; the hater of books and all things educational, dropped into the chair across from me; his expression concerned, yet hopeful.

I didn’t have the heart to send him away.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked then and I found that; yes. I actually did want to talk about it; I needed someone to share in my troubles and Kyle seemed like the perfect candidate.

“Nate’s appeal came through. He’ll be a free man in two and a half months.” I said fidgeting with my hands. It hurt like hell to think it but somehow saying it made it feel worse. More real.

“And you don’t want him to go.” Kyle surmised and I nodded.

“You don’t have to say it, I know I’m a selfish bastard. I should be glad he’s getting out of this fucking hell hole right?”

“Who says?”

“Huh?” I asked in confusion.

“Who says you should be glad he’s leaving? You care about him right?”

I nodded.

“Then you should show what you feel. You shouldn’t have to be happy he’s leaving just because that’s what society says you should feel. You know what I think?” he asked finally and I shook my head.

“I think it makes you real; at least you’re not lying to yourself and everyone else about what you’re feeling and that’s one of the reasons I like you; you’re just so open.” He finished and I nodded; not really sure I even wanted to take the compliment.

I sighed blinking back fresh tears that had just come up out of nowhere.

“Nate’s leaving and then you’ll be gone too.” I told him and my heart clenched.

“Do you want me to stay?” Kyle asked and for a second he looked so serious that I raised my eyebrows in askance.

“What? I’m sure I can find a few cars to total and innocent people to run over. I’ll be back in no time” He joked and I was laughing despite myself.

“But really Riley, you’ve got two and a half months left with him. I say you should try to make the best of it and when it all ends and he has to leave, you still have me. I’ll visit so often you’ll get tired of me.” He encouraged and I reached over to give his hand a squeeze.

“And hopefully if everything goes the way I hope it will, I’ll be visiting John too.” He said with a wink and my eyes widened.

“So you actually like John? I knew it!”

Kyle actually blushed and I laughed.

“He’s a grouchy son of a bitch but I can handle him.” He said then and as we talked I was glad I’d decided to confide in him. For just an hour I was able to forget about my problems and it felt good.

…………………………………….

We hadn’t talked much as the day had dragged on and I’d opted to sit with Kyle after they’d allowed us a second hour in the yard after REC. As we were both ushered into our cells for the night I couldn’t avoid him but that didn’t mean I didn’t try.

I climbed onto my bunk, turning to face the wall and hoping he’d just leave me to myself for the night. My brain still craved the time to process the events of the day and whenever I was near him it seemed to scramble.

I didn’t get my wish however, when I felt my matrass dip and I surmised that he was about to crawl in next to me.

“No, I just wanna be by myself tonight.” I said without looking back.

There was a pause then. “Tough.” He said and in no time he was pushing me over so he could fit comfortable in the small space and I felt his arm wrap around me, just like he always did before we went to sleep.

All was silent for a few minutes before I chose to break it.

“I guess I should say congratulations huh?” I whispered into the night.

“I’ll visit you you know.” Was his answer and I was shaking my head before he completely got the words out.

“I don’t want you to visit.” Might as well make a clean break; less heartache that way.

“I’ll visit anyway, and I’ll bring you some of my mom’s famous carrot cake; you’ll love it.” I could hear the smile in his voice and I smiled into the pillow.

He nipped at my ear and I pulled away. “And I’ll get you all the candy you can eat.”

He nipped at my ear again and this time I giggled. He was trying to make me feel better.

“And I’ll even get you some of those romance novels you love so much.” He continued and nipped again. This time I laughed.

“I don’t read romance novels.” I chuckled out and despite my earlier resolve, I found myself nestling closer to his warmth. His arms tightened. It was rare for Nate to get this playful. I loved moments like this.

“Nate?” I asked after another moment of silence.

“Hmm?”

“What’s the first thing you’re gonna do when you get out?”

“Buy a dog.” He didn’t hesitate; he knew exactly what he wanted but his answer surprised me and I found myself chuckling.