When I came to, it was 12am and I was alone in the room. I hadn't even seen of held my babies. My hands had been shaking, so I wasn't even allowed to think I could hold them at that point, and somewhere along the line, I vomited and not so long after, I fell asleep.

Just when I picked up my phone which Keith left on the table beside the bed, the door opened and I looked up and saw my dad.

"Congratulations sweetheart." he said immediately as he smiled at me. He dropped the basket he had in his hand on the floor and kissed my cheek.

"You did good Maya. I just saw them, they're the tiniest things, tinier than you were and you were tiny."

"I haven't seen them. I wasn't able to hold them because of the shaking they said was a side effect of the anaesthetic and then I fell asleep. I just work up. Have you seen Keith?"

"He's still there looking at them. He's been there for a long while."

I pressed the call button and soon, a nurse came in. And it was Jason. The look of surprise on my face was priceless and he even laughed at that.

"You're finally awake. Congratulations Maya. I saw your babies and they're the cutest things."

"Thank you." I said when I felt myself dozing off again. I frowned, that wasn't normal.

"Just close your eyes and sleep Maya. It's the effect of the drugs."

"I haven't seen them, and where is Keith?"

I don't remember the reply he gave to me as I actually dozed off not long after. When I woke up hours later, Keith was on a call.

"Leo just tell my mother I'll speak to her when I'm ready to. Calling me with a different number or going through you isn't going to work this time around." I cleared my throat and he looked at me. "I'll talk to you later. Maya just woke up.....Fine. I'll ask her if she can talk to you....Are you up to speaking to anyone? If yes Leo wants to talk to you. He was here earlier but you were asleep, so he left because he had an appointment." I nodded to his question and reached out for the phone. I really did like Leo and would still talk to him even if I was dying.

"Hey Leo." I said softly.

"Congratulations Maya. You did real good. They're the tiniest cutest things I've ever seen in my life."

"Thanks Leo. And y'all should stop calling my babies tiny because they'll grow bigger than all of you."I replied with a small laugh.

"I'm sorry. They're just so adorable I can't help myself. Keith didn't let anyone touch them because you haven't touched them and because it's not healthy. I did see their faces though."

"Whoa. That's unexpected and mighty sweet of him. Well once were out of here, you can touch them all you want and can...when you're allowed to though."

"Sure thing doll. Well I have to run. Take care" and at that, he disconnected and I returned the phone to its owner who leaned forward and kissed me softly.

"Hi." I said while reaching up to properly fold his collar.

"Hey. Thank you for Lucas and Logan Maya. After you, they're the best things that ever happened to me. They're the best Christmas gifts ever." he said as he moved to other side of the bed where they were in their beds. Apparently they had been in the nursery for the first few hours before being brought to the room when I was asleep.

"It's still November silly." I replied with a smile. I looked at them and teared up. I baked these perfect buns I thought.

"Do you want to hold them now?" he asked and I looked at my still shaking hands and shook my head.

Not yet. Your hands are still shaking. You might drop them. A part of me thought.

Of course not. He won't let you drop them. The other part of me countered.

They're really small though. What if I squish them?

That's not even possible. He won't let that happen.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts which weren't making much sense.

"my hands are still shaking. And thank you for not letting anyone touch them before me. I really appreciate that."

"It's not healthy for them. Besides no one should touch them before you just because they're family and friends. You have touched them though I'm sure you don't remember. About two hours ago when it was feeding time. You were still kinda out of it, so the nurse and I helped with the whole support thing. I just followed her directions."

"Whoa. I feel violated. You touched me when I was unconscious." I lightly joked even though I was amazed I had fed them. I had vague memories of doing so but because of how vague the memories were, I thought it had been a dream.

"Do they actually have as much hair as I think I saw?"

"Yes! It's like a mop. So much, so freaking much. I thought babies are born bald." He replied with wonder in his eyes and I smiled a little as he went on and on about some other things.

*****

When I finally touched them, I cried. It was time for another feeding My joy knew no bounds. Identical twins. I already knew they were going to be identical because when it was discovered when I was still pregnant and had been one of the main reasons why I had to go for checkups constantly since there were rushed associated with it but actually seeing them broke the dam and I thought my heart would burst with joy.

Logan Micheal James and Lucas Mitchell James both had my heart wrapped around their little fingers. When we chose the names, I hadn't wanted the whole twins bearing names that begin with the same alphabet thing but Keith thought it'd be cool for them to have the same initials. Why, I had no idea.

"Look. They really do have so much hair. So it's actually tried that you get more heartburn when your baby has a lot of hair." I babbled.

"That's just an old wives tale." Lucas fussed and we remembered what we were supposed to do at that point. It was feeding time.

"Okay how do I do this?" I asked the nurse and we got to work. It was awkward and difficult. Feeding two babies at once? I hadn't even imagined that or thought that far when I was pregnant.

"Did Avery come here?" I asked when we were done and the nurse left and Keith nodded. "Yes, he was here for a long while but you didn't wake up. But he had to leave because he had to sleep. Same with your nurse friend." I laughed at the last line.

"His name is Jason."

"I don't curr."

"No. You did not just say curr."

"Yes I did. And he will always be your nurse friend to me." I laughed at his petty tone. After a moment of silence, I began in a low voice.

"Thank you for everything Keith. For being there, and the fact that I pushed you away over and over again and you still came back. You didn't go away and abandon us even though I said you should makes me appreciate you more. I was mean and aggressive and just lashed out even when it was unnecessary. I'd say it was because of was pregnant and dealing with raging hormones, which by the way I still am, but that will be me just making excuses. I was a total bitch and you still came back and so I want you to know that it means a lot to me. Thank you once again."

"It's okay love. I may have been a dick most of my life but I wasn't going to abandon my kids. We made them together, so there is no way I would have left you all behind or let you do it all on your own."

"I thank you once again and apologise once again for being a..."

"Shh. Maya I said its fine. I don't blame you for lashing out at all. If I hadn't fucked up, none of that would have happened. It was wrong for me to have hurt and belittled you got so long and then expected you to just fall in line with my decision to make it work. And when you actually tried to make it work, I went ahead and hurt you all over again by not being attention I've and being unnecessarily stubborn. I don't blame you. You were hurt and had raging hormones and I was an ass too, so I'm sorry too. Now enough with the apologies. Sleep. You still need it."

I gave a small smile and finally gave in to scratching my body which had been itching since I woke up.

"How do you really feel?" he asked and I shrugged.

"Honestly? Sore, numb and tired. Feel like a trailer ran me over and did a number to my lower half while at the same time, I feel like that lower half is also dead."

"Sorry. That can't be helped. Just close your eyes and sleep, regain your energy. They did say feeding is Sally done every 2-3 hours. Catch all the ZZZs you can before another visiting hour comes. You know they will wake you up this time around. So just sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." he said and at that, I closed my eyes and gave in to the much needed sleep. The last thoughts on my mind was how can one man be so amazing? How can you love someone so much Maya? How did you end up here? Hope this good feeling will last forever...