The ride to the house was a silent affair. I felt the adrenaline rush that came from telling Amanda my mind leave my body and all that was left was the normal me that still wanted to go home and cry myself to sleep under the shower.

Slip into a hole is more like it.

Just then, Keith laid his head in my lap and buried his face in my stomach. He had been acting weird since he came back. Something was up with him and he didn't want to let me know what it was. When I ran my fingers through his hair, he looked at me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked for the third time that evening and he nodded.

"Yes I'm fine. Just tired."

By the time we got home, it was already after 10pm. He went straight to his room while I slowly crawled to mine. When I removed my shoes and tights, I remembered my zipper issues and sighed before laying down on the bed, dress and all. I really wanted to ask for his help again but I remembered how he went to his room without giving me a second glance.

My mind went back to his mother's words and I wondered if I had ended up embarrassing him at some point. I had tried so hard to not do anything that would be called an embarrassment. So what was up with him?

I decided to ask him. So I after taking a deep breath, I knocked on his door and when there was no response, I opened the door a little to know if he was in there. Just then, he walked out of the bathroom naked.

Oh Shit.

I muttered as my eyes followed the drop of water that ran down from his chest and disappeared into the trimmed pubic hair. His length hung limply against his legs, impressive even when flaccid. When my eyes finally met his eyes, he had this smug look on his face.

"Like what you see?" He asked with a smirk and my face felt hot as I turned and pushed my hair out of the way again. I couldn't understand him. He was constantly blowing hot and cold. One moment he's all playful and sweet. The next, he's all touchy and cuddly and maybe acts a bit needy. The next, he leaves me behind without a second glance. I couldn't keep up.

I shivered when he pressed his lips on my neck after unzipping me and I more or less ran out of the room. When I got to my room, I finally pushed the dress off my body and when I finally sat down to pee, I couldn't help but whisper the little pleasures in life to myself.

Stripping out of my clothes, I quickly showered and decided to go down to the kitchen to look for something to eat since I had ended up not eating at the party. But just as i brought the necessary fruits and vegetables out, I heard the doorbell.

What the? Who goes to someone's house by 11pm? That makes no sense whatsoever.

Those were my thoughts as I walked out of the kitchen to check who it was only to see that Keith already beat me to it. Before I could turn back, because I already knew the visitor would be his, I froze when I heard someone shriek "Heeeey baaaby".

I just stood there with my mouth almost wide open in shock. Her hair was still as red at it had been back then, and she still had that fine figure she had 2 years ago when I last saw her. She was still as beautiful as she had been back then. I felt my heart drop to my stomach when she kissed him, right there, in front of me.

Who was she? Keith's hot ex girlfriend, you know, the one he 'gave a shit about'? The one that had almost become a fixture in the house all those years ago. I had cooked for her and cleaned after her because I had been naive, stupid, foolish, everything senseless.

"Penelope? What..? Where are you coming from by this time of the night?" Keith asked her. Those were his first words since she came in. I must have made a sound because he suddenly turned sharply and our eyes met. I fought to see through the tears that clouded my eyes, willing myself to not cry. I slipped back into the kitchen to do what I came down to do in the first place.

You are stronger than this Maya. You won't cry. Crying won't solve anything. For once in your life you won't cry because you feel humiliated. You can't cry every time. You will suck it up and be the big girl you're learning to be, the strong woman you're becoming.

I took deep breaths as I gave myself that pep talk. I forced myself to eat and went to the library to get the books I left there. I was tired but wasn't feeling sleepy. I needed to distract myself from my thoughts, though I doubted studying for my exams would distract me. I ended up sitting on the floor with my back resting against the wall as I pressed my hands against my eyes, willing myself to not cry and be strong and that was where he found me.

He knocked lightly on the door to show that he was coming in. I didn't move, couldn't find it in me to do so. So I just remained seated and watched him come closer.

"I'm sorry." He said when he sat down before me and I focused on the patterns of the tiled floor, following the lines as they went. Shrugging, I prayed and hoped for a steady voice when I opened my mouth to speak.

"Why are you apologizing? It is an open marriage right? And she's the girlfriend you 'give a shit about.' There's no reason to apologise to me. We all know I'm your wife only on paper, even the girls at that party know that, and it's a free world. You can do whatever you like."

Every word I said hurt me so much because of how true they were. I was his wife only on paper. Even though I was the one he was legally married to, I was still the other woman.

"You know that's not true Maya. I have been doing my best to show you I really want this to work, that it's not just a business deal, that I actually care about you more than I did for all those other women,--"

"While fucking your girlfriend that you worshipped?" I asked in a shaky voice. "You--" the dam finally broke free and I furiously wiped my face with the sleeve of my shirt, angry at myself for crying at every stupid thing. "-you really have to stop humiliating me. You have to stop lying to me. I'd rather you give it to me straight than lie to me because it just hurts more this way. I have never wronged anybody in my life, never done anything to deserve what I'm getting from you, your mother, the world. I know I'm not perfect but still, I try to..." he cut me off by kissing me. I tried pushing him away but his fingers snaked around my wrists and I tried moving away from him. Sure, he was all muscle and no ounce of fat because he loved working out but I was supposed to be stronger wasn't I? I was supposed to have the strength that came with being a larger woman but that strength wasn't coming, so I just let him do his deed without kissing him back. When I remembered that he was kissing me with the same mouth he kissed her with not up to 3o minutes ago, that girl power finally came on and I manage to shove him off me before using my sleeve to clean my mouth. I was offended and disgusted at the same time but before I could say anything, he started.

"Maya, you are perfect. I have never in my life met anyone like you. Even after everything I did to you, you still forgave me, something I wouldn't have done if our cases were reversed. Somehow, even with everything that has happened to you, you still remained good and innocent, and that is an amazing quality. I'm sorry Penny came here this evening but I didn't invite her. I haven't seen her since we broke up. I spent time outside, not because I wanted to be with her but to tell her to stay out like she wanted to because I have you now and wasn't going back. She must have been high on something to have thought I'd act like nothing changed between us the day she decided to opt out of our relationship. I really want you to be my wife for real, not just on paper. I care about you Maya, and I'm sorry if you don't believe me because of how things used to be between us but this is the truth."

I just sat there with my eyes wide open while my heart pounded away in my chest. I was shocked and could not believe he said those words. When I didn't say anything, he sighed and started walking towards the door before closing it behind him; he stopped again and said "By the way I washed my mouth before coming down here to meet you. So you didn't indirectly kiss Penelope." He joked lightly before closing the door behind him.

I still hadn't moved, except blink and breathe as his words echoed in my head.

You're perfect Maya. I care about you more than I ever did for other women Maya. I want you to be my wife for real not just on paper.

How long had I waited to hear those words from him?

Too long. You've waited too long to hear them. Now that you have, what are you doing down here by yourself and not up there with him?

Taking a deep breath, I stood up and adjusted my shorts drawstrings. Putting my books back where they were supposed to be, I climbed the stairs and went to his room. Standing before his door, I took another deep breath and raised my hand to knock only for him to open the door.

"Hey..." I said nervously and he smiled a little.

"Hey"

"Uhm..about what you said downstairs, I believe you, and I'm..."

It all happened within the space of 5 seconds I swear. One moment, I was talking and the next, my back was meeting the bed as I kissed him back with equal intensity.

When it was all over and he was asleep beside me, I thought maybe, just maybe I could be happy with this man.

******

I woke up the next morning to the sound of retching in the bathroom. Dragging the duvet off my body to cover up, I went to the bathroom.

"What's wrong Keith?" He shook his head as he groaned in pain. Pushing the flush button, I helped him up and into the room. He had a bad fever. I tried not to but I was panicking. Fever, vomiting, a severe pain in his stomach. None of it said something good since it could mean anything.

Pulling out clothes for him to them, and helping him into them, I went to my own room and got dressed before helping him down and into the car. I really hoped it wasn't as bad as he looked.