I burrowed into my pillow as I tried to go back to sleep. Something had woken me up but I didn't know what it was. After waiting for like 30 seconds, I sighed in frustration as I opened my eyes. I frowned as I realised that strangely, the light was on. I never slept with the light on except whenever I watched a really horrible movie, and I hadn't done that in a long while.

At that moment, I realised five painful things that made my blood freeze in my veins.

1)I was not in my room/bed, the bed was too soft and comfortable to be mine.

2) Someone was lightly snoring behind me.

3)There was an arm around me which pulled me into a chest that was totally male and his pecker was poking my butt while his face was buried in my neck.

4)There was throbbing in between my legs, and I felt some dry stuff on my inner thighs while the bed was damp. It was enough evidence to prove I had lost my virginity and had sex with someone.

5)I just committed adultery.

Fuck! I screamed at myself. I slowly and carefully pried the arm that was holding me off my body and that disturbed him enough to move and shift into a more comfortable position. I turned to see the face of the mab that was chubbychaser enough to have sex with me and cane face to face with my husband. I immediately pressed my fist against my mouth to stop myself from making a sound of shock.

Oh God what have I done? I have to get out of here. That was all I could think as Ieft the bed and started picking up my things as the memories came flooding back to me. I saw my bra lying almost under the bed and immediately snatched it up, same with my dress and shoes. I saw my ruined tights and picked it up only to start feeling hot in the face when I remembered how eager he had been when he tore it off my body. Fuck!

I started searching for my thong but couldn't find it. When I wanted to lift the sheets to check if it was on the bed, Keith moved again and I held my breath, hoping and praying that he wasn't going to wake up. My prayers were answered as he just shifted to be on his back completely while he continued snoring slightly. The sheets barely covered his hips.

He was all male. He was beautiful. I was foolish and I was getting out of there.

Something caught my sight. Blood. There was nothing I could do about it. After searching for about 3 minutes, I gave up and decided that once he left for work, I was going to come back and look for it, and I was going to wash and change his beddings.

I tiptoed out of his room and all but ran to my own room. I dumped my stuff on the floor and immediately went into the shower. Somehow, I ended up sitting under the shower while the hot water beat down on my skin as I thought back to the events of the previous night.

Kissing had led to us somehow ending up in his room and on his bed. A night of so many firsts for me. First kiss, first time of getting head, giving head, fucking. I had never imagined myself having sex before because I always believed I was unwanted. I still believe I am unwanted, but at least in a drunken state, he had given me more than I ever thought I'd get.

That was why I rushed out of the room. I knew he had not been in the right state of mind when it happened, and I was so scared of waking up to see the look of utter disgust on his face while he pushed me out of his bed and room when he woke up only to realise he wasn't with any of his trophy girlfriends but with his fat disgusting wife whom he had loathed since he met her.

I suddenly felt guilt eating me up from the inside as I realised that I had taken advantage of a drunk man. I suddenly felt nauseous and I threw up in disgust of what I had done. I had known he was drunk and didn't stop him. I let him fuck me, not once but four different times. I had seen it as an opportunity to know what sex was like without having a man look at my jiggly thighs and butt and stomach fats and rolls and stretch marks with disgust

I regretted it.

A voice in my head kept saying Why are you blaming yourself? Did you seduce him? No. Did you take him to bed? No, it was the other way round. Did you undress yourself? Definitely not. Intact I believe he was the one that eagerly tore your dress and tights off your body and used his teeth to naughtily pull your thong off. Did you offer to give him a blowjob? Another no since he waved it in your face and told you to open your mouth and follow his directions even when you said you didn't know what to do. Did you ask him to give you head? Definitely not! He was the one that gladly said 'My turn' and spread your legs and went down on you before fucking you. So get your shit together girl. You didn't do nothing wrong.

All those words were true but it still didn't improve my mood at all.

After a while, I finally pushed myself off the floor and started drying my hair as I padded out of the bathroom. It was just 3am. I put on some clothes and slipped into my bed and hoped I'd fall asleep. I didn't want to be awake at that point in time. I just wanted to go to the dream land where I have no problems eating me up.

Soon, darkness swallowed me and i didn't feel anything anymore. No insecurities, no pain, nothing.