I sighed as I pulled out the bottle of orange juice and emptied its content into the glass cup that sat on the table. It was just 8am and I was preparing breakfast for my husband of 3 years.

Its funny how my life had changed, yet it was still the same. I was still the same insecure girl, just older and dressier, and by dressier I mean I no longer wear sweaters so much not that I had become a Barbie kinda girl with pretty dresses and make up, I did not put on more weight and I had learnt a lot in cooking and cleaning.

That was all that I was to my husband, his cook and his cleaner. Not his fuck buddy, not his best friend, not even his acquaintance, nothing. In all honesty, apart from giving me work related orders and stuff like that, he never paid any attention to me. He was hardly around even.

When he was around, he usually came home with other women. His "said girlfriend", the one he gave a shit about on our wedding day had said she didn't want anything to do with him anymore, hence the numerous women I see him with every night, in his matrimonial home/bed. Who the fuck does that? Obviously someone with no regards for another's feelings. It was obvious he didn't respect me, it was obvious he was doing all that to provoke me into leaving the marriage but I refused to be the one to breach the contract.

I heard the door to his room upstairs open and close and then his light footsteps followed. I wouldn't have heard him at all if it hadn't been for how silent the house was. Cold, silent, like an abandoned castle.

Soon, he appeared. Cold green eyes and his black hair was still somewhat wet. If there is something I have always been proud of about myself, it was the fact that I am an honest person. I could honestly say that I married a beautiful man. The fact that he treated me like shit didn't change that fact nor blind me. The same way, I could honestly say that my worst nightmare in highschool, Jason, who had bullied me and said the meanest things was a handsome fellow.

I looked at my him and said good morning, to which he didn't reply as he sat down for breakfast. Then he glared at the juice before him.

"What is this?" He growled and I muttered "Orange juice."

"I remember saying specifically that I wanted strawberry, not any other thing."

"I have to go to the store. I forgot the strawberries were finished so I..."

"You really are good for nothing." He muttered as he pushed the tumbler away before he started eating. I felt tears well in my eyes. It hurt. I will never be used to the hurtful things people hurl at me. Useless, big for nothing, good for nothing, fatso, pig, cow, what had I not been called? At least he hadn't called me a fatso before. That would have really broken me.

My eyes travelled down his left hand. It wasn't there. The silver band that was proof that he was married wasn't there. I had known for a while now that he never wears it. I looked down at my own fingers and saw the plain silver band which I had gotten so used to that I didn't feel its weight anymore.

I sighed and took an apple from the basket of fruits on the table before leaving to dress up for school that day.

On my way down, my phone rang. I smiled a little when I saw the callerID.

"Hey sweetie." I said as I tucked my hair behind my ear. The way I dressed changed, courtesy of my best friend Avery, who I was on the phone with.

I met Avery on the day he asked me for directions in college. We hit it off immediately...and by hit it off, I mean he decided immediately that I was his bestie, but being the socially awkward person I was/am, I couldn't do much to help myself. He kept pushing and refused to give up on me and here we are, Besties. He is studying fashion and designing while I am a veterinary medicine student.

This was my 4th year in college and his second, we are age mates and he is gay. He knew I was married and the circumstances surrounding my marriage, he knew what my life had been like and that was why he insisted that I embrace my body and dress well. Did I embrace my body? No. Did I dress well? Not really, just better so he won't be mad at me.

"Hey Nica. I'm waiting for you in the car."

"I'm on my way out now. Lemme just grab your muffins." He said okay and disconnected. On my way into the kitchen, I felt my blood run cold when I saw my husband still there and on the phone. And just as I walked in, he disconnected, not sparing me a glance, he walked out and into the parlour to get whatever it was he wanted. I put the plates away immediately and grabbed the muffins and jogged out of the house...okay I didn't really jog out. Just walked faster. I really hoped he would remain inside until I left the house. Of all days for him to waste time, it had been the day Avery had decided to pick me.

We exchanged pleasantries and then he took a muffin and bit into it and moaned, kissing my cheek in a totally friendly manner. I was proud that my cooking had improved to that level. I raised my eyes and my smile disappeared immediately as my eyes met Keith's cold green eyes. There was anger in them as he looked at me before he looked away and got into his car. Beside me I heard Avery say "Is that your husband? Damn girl I want a taste of that."

I paid no attention to what he said because my mind was occupied with something else. Why was he angry?

"He seemed angry to me though. Angry and jealous." Avery said as Keith's car came to life and he drove off with so much speed he left skid marks on the ground.

"Very jealous." Avery completed beside me.

I snorted in an unladylike manner as I remembered what he said the first day we met.

I don't give a shit about you.

He has been true to his words. I could be out till 5am and he wouldn't question me. He didn't care if I had men by the side, so long as I did what I was supposed to do, he'd never be on my case.

"Nah. He's not. Come on let's go. I have just 15 more minutes. Don't want to be late." I said and he nodded and we left.

***************

"I'll pick you up by 7pm. Wear that dress Nica! Or I'll be really upset with you." Avery said as I shut the door and waved at him as he drove off. I walked into the house.

I was a strange person. I lived to please others. Was it as a result of my insecurities? I had no idea but I knew I was going to wear that dress just to make him happy because he picked it out for me.

I dropped the shopping bag and my school bag on the table and ventured into the kitchen, on a quest to find a long cold glass of orange juice. Just then, I remembered the grocery shopping, so I just took my stuff to my room and grabbed my car keys and went to the store. I bought every necessary thing, ranging from shaving sticks for Keith to foodstuffs.

When I got back home, it was 5:45pm and his car and one other car were parked outside. I went into the house, preparing myself for whatever judgmental look I'd get from whoever was in there with him. I saw them sitting and playing a soccer game on the hooked up PS4 Pro. I shook my head. Boys will always be boys. I greeted them. His friend just a nod, Keith no response at all as he swore at his friend as they played.

I just went into the kitchen and prepared dinner, remembering I had an appointment. Avery wanted me to follow him to a birthday dinner. I couldn't say no to him.

I made spaghetti and turkey meatballs. Preparing the strawberry juice for him, I filled another glass tumbler with mango juice for his friend and served their dinner.

I quickly washed up and for the first time in 3 years, I took a deep breath and then turned to face the mirror. As usual, I saw the same thing. Boobs, belly fat, thunder thighs and ass. The nice word could describe my body was meaty. I had a soft body, so my thighs and ass jiggled easily, which is why I wore jeans a lot.

I went to my underwear drawer and pulled out two types. Granny panties and a lacy black thong. I laughed at that ridiculous attempt at underwear. I had never worn a thong before, so I decided to just try it on once.

My buttcheeks swallowed it all up once. The only thing that showed that I had it on was the part that covered my pubic area and the waist of the thong. I pulled on my tights to prevent my thighs from chaffing and then pulled out the dress. Taking a deep breath, I put it on and cursed myself for promising Avery I'd wear it.

It was a long sleeved bodicon dress that was free from the knee down. It was long enough to cover my feet and some material pooled on the ground. It showed cleavage. A lot.

Putting on my flats since no one could see my feet, I brushed my hair and put a little red lipstick on. Just then, my phone vibrated and it was Avery telling me he was waiting for me in front. I grabbed the clutch purse and my phone and went downstairs.

I peeked and saw that Keith had his back to me, so I let out a sigh of relief knowing that even if I said something, he wouldn't turn to look at me. I walked towards them and told him I wouldn't be back until 9and he just nodded. At that moment, his friend turned to look at him and his eyes widened as he choked on his drink. Turning to know why he choked, Keith's eyes widened in shock. After standing before them awkwardly for a few seconds, his next words felt like cold water was being poured on me.

"What the fuck are you wearing? And where are you going to dressed like that?"

I sucked in deeply as I felt my eyes water immediately. I turned and quickly opened the door and walked into Avery's arms accidentally.

"Don't fucking walk away from me when I'm talking to you Danica."

Taking in the situation before him, Avery immediately pulled me out and led me to his car and he drove off.

"You look beautiful.* he said after 5 minutes and I shook my head when I remembered the look on Keith's face when he got over his shock. If he looked at me like that, people at the dinner would too.

"They'll make fun of me." I whispered and he shook his head and said that they wouldn't, that I looked beautiful and hot. I didn't say anything. I just prepared myself for the mockery about to come.

**************

It had been a boring affair, which was why Avery wanted me to follow him. But they had said I looked beautiful and they had been honest.

"Thanks for coming with me Nica."

"No problem hun. Take care."

I walked into the dark house, assuming he had gone out as usual. Closing the door, I flipped the light switch on and almost screamed when I saw Keith sitting on the sofa and nursing a glass of whiskey.

Slowly, like a predator hunting his prey, he walked towards me. When he got really close to me, I could smell the drink on his breath as he repeated the same question he asked me before I left in a milder way.

"Where were you Danica?"

"went for a birthday dinner with my friend." My chest rose and fell with each breath I took, and for a while, his eyes stayed on my chest. Then he raised his eyes to meet mine.

"I don't want you to see him anymore."

"What? You can't do that. I'm not going to stop seeing him just because you what me to."

Suddenly, there was anger in his eyes, and before I could say any other thing, the unexpected happened. He kissed me.