We get out of that house. Anna was still not sobber. I am carrying her on my back. She weights like a feather. The road was empty. Obviously, it's past midnight.

Her face was in the crook of my neck. Her breath was tickling me. She took my ear lob in her mouth.

What is she doing? I should not feel anything. I should not feel anything. She is high on the hash. She doesn't even know what she is doing to me.

Right. Don't feel. She maybe won't even remember what is she doing.

You are her friend. But she is literally sucking my ear.

I should feel disgusting but why is she doing something like this, so sensually.

I bounced my shoulder to wake her up a little so that she could see what she is doing to the poor me.😥

No effect. No effect at all. Tonight is my end.

Okay, control. Don't think dirty. She is your responsibility right now. Yes.

But I am a man. How the hell should I control my body reaction?

She stopped. She put her chin on my shoulder. That means she is up.

Oh, Thank God. I will live.

"Xavier." She said.

"Hmm" I replied like that.

"Xavier" she said my name again.

"Yes, princess, I am listening." I said.

"I like your name. Do you know the meaning of Xavier? Who was the first person of this name?" She asked out of blue. To tell the truth, I really don't know. I never think about it. So I replied truthfully.

"No, darling. I don't know."

I am loving this moment. She is this close to me and I can call her by all the endearing words I could only think of calling.

"You know your name has Spanish origin. It was the name of a saint. Isn't it awesome?" She said.

When did she achieve mastery in my name?

"That's interesting." I said.

"Xavier." she suddenly said my name with so many emotions behind it that it made me stop in my track.

"Yes, love?" I asked.

"You are my rock bottom." She said. I was confused as hell. Does she think I am a burden on her? I am at the lowest level for her.

My heart sink. I was in my thoughts when she said again.

"My heart was like a black hole. Nothing at all can come out of it or there was nothing but emptiness in it. Then you came. I found the deepest bottom of my heart. Now, all the moments I share with you can stay there. I can reciprocate them." She said. She put her face again in the crook of my neck.

So she meant it like that. If that's what she meant then I will be her rock bottom for all my life.

Suddenly she asked to put her down. As soon as I put her down she ran towards a park. It was very dark in there. Only a street light was illuminating the park.

She ran to a swing. She sat on it and stare at me. I understood what she wants next. I stood behind her to give a little push to the swing.

She was laughing loudly, God knows why? I told her to keep it down, otherwise, this neighborhood will think that there is a woman ghost in this park.

Then she gets down from it and took me to a bench near the fence of the park. I got a call. It was from David.

"Where are you? We are down on the road." He asked.

What to do? We have come very far from that house.

"Can you take Kate home right now? I will bring Anna myself later." I said.

"Okay. You have the car key right? I will call a taxi for us. I have had 2 or 3 glasses of alcohol myself." He said and hang up.

I looked beside me, Anna was sitting quietly. Her head was on my shoulder. I put an arm around her when she was about to fall.

"Anastasia." I called her.

"Hmm" she replied.

"Thank you for being my friend." I said. I always wanted to say this.

She bent her head towards my face and looked into my eyes.

"Mention not. I will always be your friend. I will always love you." She said with a very big smile.

She was so close to my face, when she said, she will love me always. I was ready to kiss her. I know she said it as a friend but I don't think that I think of her as only a friend.

I kissed her forehead and put my head over her.

You are this close to me. You are making me go crazy from inside. I just want to hold you and kiss you. But I can't. Because I know that's not what you want.

I took a deep breath and was about to move when she took my face in her both hands.

"You didn't say that you will love me for all your life." She complains.

"I love you. And will always love you." I know it feel like I am confessing my love for her but obviously, she won't remember this.

She gave me a bright smile and pulled my face really close.

What the hell is she doing? I am getting scared of this woman.

I tried to pull away but she pulled again this time more forcefully. Our noses were touching.

"You promised, you will love me then why are you getting away. Don't you like me?" She asked frowning.

My heart. It's aching. Why would she ask something like this? She is high right now. She doesn't know what she is saying.

"You are not in your senses darling. You don't know what you are doing." I said. I don't want her to regret this.

"But I am. You make me happy." She said and moved forward to kiss but I moved away.

I can't do this. She really doesn't know... I know what I feel for her but expressing it like this when she won't even remember it.

"I am sorry dear. We should go now." I took her hand but she snatched it from my hand.

"We are friends. We should not hold hands so carelessly." She said and stood by herself and started walking towards the road.

Her words broke something in me. What does that mean?

As we reached my car, she said she wants to go in a taxi.

"Why? I can't leave the car here." I said.

"I will go by myself." She said.

"Are you high? Well yes, you are. That's why you are saying something so stupid. How can let you go all by yourself?" I asked. Why is she being so difficult?

"I am not high. The moment you pushed away from me, I got my senses back. So, please fetch me a taxi and if you cant I will call someone else. I thought you said you are my friend. You can do this much for your friend. Right?" She said. She shattered me with her words.

Why she is doing this? What I did was to save her from regret tomorrow. Was I wrong?

"Anastasia, please let's..." She cut me in mid.

"Call me Anna. Anastasia is too special for a friend. Call me Anna as everyone else does." She said.

Is she doing this on purpose? Isn't it our thing. Calling each other with our full name.

"Anna. Just for tonight let's go in my car. It's very late. I will be very worried." I said.

"You should not be worried. I am not a kid and especially I am not high anymore. So can take care of myself." She said.

I accept my defeat and called for a taxi. The taxi came in 5 minutes. She was about to get in when I took a hold on her hand.

"I don't know what has changed but just to let you know I did everything only for you." She snatched her hand again. She looked at me. Her eyes were full of tears.

Why is she crying? Why I am having the feeling that I made a big mistake? Why does it feel like she is slipping away from me?

"Nothing you did was for me. You did what you felt. There is nothing wrong with it. You just cleared my delusion. I was a fool. Getting high all alone by myself. Thanks for bursting that bubble in time. Otherwise, it would have hurt even more. You truly are a good friend and always will be." With that, she sat in the taxi and closed the gate.

I stood there for long. My inside was feeling nothing. I was numb. My brain was buzzing.

What the hell just happened? What did I do wrong? Was it wrong to think she will regret it if we had kissed when she was not sobber?

I get in my car and followed her taxi. I saw it when she reached her home. Will she be okay? Won't her uncle and aunt say anything to her?

She gets in the house then I left from there.

The first thing I will do tomorrow is to clear everything that happened tonight. I can't let her misunderstand anything.

The pain in my heart is clearly saying what I feel for her. It's clear now but I think I lost my chance to say her. To tell her how much I like her.