"Again!" Hero demands, his green eyes encouraging me to repeat that exact punch of moments ago. "Same placement, same strength."

I nod, wiping the sweat off my forehead with my arm as I let out a long breath. The boxing gloves are heavy on my already soured arms, but the drive to get this done is bigger than the pain. I feel strong, stronger than I ever did before. For the first time, I feel that what happened to me isn't an option anymore. For the first time, I know how to fight back, and for the first time, I feel like I would dare to do so.

Pulling all the strength that's left in my limbs together, I lift my arms, holding them in front of my face just like Hero taught me. And then, I pull out, slamming my fist against the boxing cushion that Hero's holding up.

"That's it!" Hero exclaims, his eyes shining and his two dimples fully on display. "One last time. Come on, give me everything you've got."

"I can't," I breathe, my cheeks hot. That last punch was everything I've got left in me for now.

Hero's been giving me self-defense lessons for about a month now, and for a week he's thrown in some kickboxing as well. He says it'll be good for my confidence, and it'll help me to blow off steam. I was skeptical, but I have to admit it feels amazing, even though I can hardly lift Daisy because my muscles are sore.

"Yes, you can. Come on, one more," he urges, nodding his head too. He's just as sweaty as I am; his brown hair is hanging over his forehead, his cheeks red. He's not wearing a shirt, and his chest is red too, a thin layer of sweat also coating his skin. "One more and we're done. Think about yesterday. Come on, Jo."

Yesterday. Immediately my mood turns down, the salty taste in my mouth rising. If there's anything I don't want to think about, it's yesterday. I don't want to think about it, I don't want to talk about it. Frankly, I want to pretend it never happened.

Yesterday, the day I'd dreaded for months, finally arrived. The true start of my battle; the first day of trial. I was nervous, but because my lawyers Florence and Gigi, and Alice and I had gone through every possible paragraph and turn of the trial, I felt confident and prepared. I knew my story, knew what he did to me, and mostly, knew for whom I had to do it.

For me and Dais.

Unfortunately, nothing could've prepared me for one moment. That moment in court when I saw him again. The man that took me when I was just a little girl and forced me to do things I wouldn't wish for my biggest enemy. The man that used me, abused me, and lend me as if I was his. The man that stole my childhood and life. The man that broke me beyond repair. Leonard.

The moment he walked in, all the air was sucked out of me while I felt the floor disappear underneath my feet. The moment he searched for my eyes, I was paralyzed, not able to think of anything we'd discussed prior. Gigi advised me not to make eye contact with him and I tried, but I quickly discovered that the power he had on me is still there. I couldn't do anything but look at him, and it broke me all over again.

His glassy eyes took me back to the moment I last saw him. He'd looked at me with disgust, his gaze dropping to my swollen belly one last time before he threw some towels on the floor and left without a word. I had no idea what was about to happen to me, but he did, and he left me.

The way he bared his yellow teeth in a sinister smirk that I recognized but others did not even see took me back to that dirty, old mattress. How he sat in the corner, watching with that same smirk, as they did their worst to be. And he never helped me.

His voice that -although very briefly- sounded through the speakers of the courtroom. There was no trace of remorse in his tone, no trace of shame. It was just as hard and flat as I'd always heard it, and even though he didn't say it out loud, I could hear how called me 'Josie', over and over and over again.

"That's it, love," Hero's voice -gentle and a little unsure this time- pulls me away from the memories that play on repeat. "Now use this. Come on, use that anger and fight."

And just like that, my arms lift to Hero's demand, and without feeling anything of the burn in my muscles, I start to punch. I try to do it as controlled as possible, just like Hero taught me, but when the tears start to blur my vision and hoarse sobs cut through my chest, I lose it. I lose every control, and my hits become chaotic as everything comes out.

The anger. The fear. The pain. The shame. Everything. And I only see him. Grey hair, wrinkles, glassy eyes with dark circles underneath them. Leonard. Leonard. Leonard. He is everywhere. Under me. Over me. Behind me. Everywhere.

"Jo!" I hear Hero in the far distance, but he can't reach me. I'm stuck. Stuck in Leonard's grip, and he is too strong. He's always been too strong.

I'll always have you, Josie. Always.

"Jo!" I hear it again, my name, in Hero's voice, and I try to get back to him, but everything seems frozen and dark.

"Jo, love. Come back," Hero calls, closer now. His hands are holding my arms, I feel it because I can't hit anymore, and it's what pulls me back to him. His touch, and his voice, calling me love, and by that sounding and feeling so different from him.

"Love," Hero breathes as I manage to get him into sharp view again. "Baby, it's okay." His chest is moving up and down rapidly, the red marks of where I hit him clearly visible. I've completely missed that he dropped the boxing cushion. My cheeks are wet, my breathing just as chaotic as my movements of moments ago without a doubt.

"I'm... I'm sorry," I sob, my eyes on his chest.

"No, Jo, don't apologize. I'm sorry I couldn't bring you back right away."

Sobbing, I look up at him, and I see him without any color on his face. He's still holding my arms, the look on his face a mix of regret, worry, pain, and hurt.

"I'm here. You're here, with me. I've got you. Forever, Jo."

His words are so raw and sincere, that they break me. I feel my legs give out, but before I have the chance to hit the ground, Hero's arms wrap around me. He crushes me against his chest, my ear and cheek pressed right where his heart is beating like a maniac. He's my safe haven. My Hero. The one I can tell everything to, the one I can laugh with and cry with, and the one I trust one-hundred percent.

And so, I cry. I let him hold me while I cry because sometimes, that's just what is needed.

As Hero rings the bell of his mum's house, I wipe my fingers underneath my eyes one more time, making sure there really isn't any sign of my breakdown. I don't want anyone to notice and ask about it. Hero sees me do it, and just before the door opens, he shakes his head, silently telling me there's nothing to see.

It's Mercy who opens the door, in her arms Daisy who is sucking on her two fingers while looking around with big eyes. Immediately, the feeling of how much I've missed her washes over me, even though it was only three hours this time.

"Look who's here," Mercy happily says to Daisy, who smiles instantly. We've been bringing her over to Martha quite often since that first time, and Daisy is starting to recognize Martha and Mercy because of it. Even Titan and Maisie seem familiar to her.

It's amazing how a baby develops. She's seven months now, but the way she looks at people suggests something else entirely. It's as if she knows what we're saying.

"Hello, little beauty," Hero pipes up first, reaching for her. Her blue eyes smile, just like her whole face, and when he takes her from Mercy, she finally lets her fingers slip from her mouth to give him a full-on smile. She's got one front tooth coming through, and I can't help but sigh at how cute she looks.

"Hello, sweetie," I whisper, leaning forward and kissing her outstretched hand. She smiles when I capture one of her chubby fingers with my mouth, her head leaning against Hero's chin which he takes as an opportunity to kiss her on her head.

"Come in," Mercy beckons, clearly wanting to close the door and thereby reminding us of our very public state of affection.

Once the door is closed, Hero drops our sports bag in the corner before kicking off his shoes, all the while holding Daisy and talking to her. She only has eyes for him at the moment, and seeing them like this overruled the heavy feeling that our sparring inflicted slightly. I'm here, with them, and we're all safe.

After I've taken off my shoes as well, I follow Hero and Mercy to the living. Titan and Maisie are sitting on the couch, and Martha is sitting on the floor, next to a colorful play carpet with various baby toys laying on it, all of which she bought when we asked if she wanted to watch Daisy. The sight touches me just as much as the first time I saw it; Martha loves babysitting Daisy, and she's taking it seriously. The crib upstairs in the guestroom is Daisy's second bedroom, complete with a beautiful daisy flower wall sticker next to the crib.

It's a bit overwhelming still, but I'm starting to get used to the idea of them helping me, and I'm feeling less encumbered about it too. Hero keeps reassuring me that they help because they want to, not because they pity me, and that they are just adding me and Daisy to their family.

Family. It's something that I never thought I'd have. For so long, I didn't have a family. I only had Leonard, and he made sure to tell me over and over again how I didn't have anyone. I know my parents and Kath died during the fire, but I have no idea about my other family. I don't remember any of them. Do I have aunts and uncles? Cousins? Grandparents? For so long, thinking about things like that made me sad, so I mostly blocked those thoughts. I was convinced I would die in that place, with him, by their hands.

But now that I'm out, the curiosity is there again. And unlike when I was in that apartment, I now see possibilities. Maybe, when everything is over and we're living a more normal life, I would be able to search for other relatives.

And although that thought excites me to some level, I do know what I want for the future. I won't ever want to return to Australia. My life -or rather the life I'm going to have to build- is here, in London, with Daisy and Hero. And with Hero's family, who have helped me so much.

"She's been a bit cranky today," Martha pipes up while standing from the floor. She walks over to us, and then tickles Daisy's belly which makes her giggle and hide in Hero's chest. "She didn't want to sleep either, only when Titan walked her around her eyes dropped for a moment, so I reckon she's just tired."

"I think she still misses feedings from Jo. Don't you Dais?" Hero adds, rubbing his nose through her brown hairs.

I stopped breastfeeding Daisy when she was six months old. We were both ready; she was taking the bottle often when she stayed with Martha, and in between appointments with Gigi and Florence, and Alice, I often skipped pumping. It resulted in lower milk production, and before I knew it, Daisy didn't have enough after I'd fed her.

I'm proud that I've fed her for six months, and I have to admit that seeing her grow this fast makes me a little sad. But then I always recall how I felt moments before I went into labor. How scared I was that we wouldn't survive. And look at her now. The fact that she's growing and glowing, is making me incredibly happy.

It's also nice that she isn't depending on me as much as she did when I fed her. I've noticed how she isn't as focussed on me as she was before. She's exploring the world around her, and even though she's still small, I can tell she loves having people around.

At first, I only felt comfortable when Martha or Mercy held her when we were here. But I'm becoming more trusting too. I know I can trust Titan and Maisie, and although Martha is the only one that babysits Daisy, for now, I don't mind when they hold her or play with her. And it feels so liberating to not feel so tensed and guarded all the time.

I've seen Hero's friends a couple of times in the past months as well. They come over for a drink, and ever so often I go with him when he has to play football although he's put that on low now that we're starting the trial. His friends are kind, but interacting with them feels weird sometimes. I've been alone for so long, the only contact I had with Leonard and the others, I find it difficult to connect with people my age. Especially people like Hero's friends; they're outgoing and love a party, while all I know is being inside.

Hero promised me we'll go out once I'm ready, but I doubt I'll ever be. We went out for dinner twice while Daisy stayed at Martha's, and we went to the movies too. It was great, but that's because it was with Hero. Whatever I do with him, feels comfortable and fun. With others around too, it seems too much and I just shut down.

Alice and I talk about it a lot, and it's why we've decided on a reintegration program. She's convinced it'll be good for me to meet new people and learn how to navigate in the real world. The idea makes me nervous, but I know she's right. Hero has pointed it out many times too; this is it, and I need to make the most of it. I need to have my own things, my contacts, and maybe eventually education as well. It'll give me so much more confidence too.

"That could be it," Martha agrees with Hero before turning to me. "Are you two staying for dinner? We'll order something."

I smile, looking at Hero in question. He nods happily, silently telling me he'd like to stay. He doesn't get to spend much time with his brother and sister at the same time, so I understand. And I'd love to stay too. Daisy will stay with Martha for the night since the second day of the trial starts early tomorrow. Hero and Titan will join me, as well as my lawyers and Alice, and Martha kindly offered to take Daisy so we can have an easy night.

"We'd like to," I answer, taking Daisy from Hero. "I need some cuddle time with my chubby baby anyway."

I walk to the couch and sit in the corner, squeezing Daisy against my chest. She nestles into me, her fingers finding her mouth, and almost instantly, her eyes drop. She's tired.

"She was just missing mummy," Maisie says, looking at me and Daisy with an endeared expression. I don't miss how her hand subtly moves to her belly, where she rests it just over her belly button.

When she notices I'm watching her, she drops her hand to her side, her cheeks coloring a little before giving me a small smile. And at that moment, it feels as if we're having a silent conversation; she's pregnant, but her reaction to me looking suggests that no one knows yet.

My eyes flicker to Titan for just a moment, hoping that she understands what I'm wondering. And when I find her eyes again, she subtly nods, telling me that Titan does know.

I can't top the big smile that forms on my face, but I manage to pretend it's just because of her comment, and I nod my head in agreement. "And I've missed her."

"About what happened at the gym," Hero tentatively starts while I cuddle against his side. My cheek rests on his chest, his heartbeat comforting and safe. "What happened in court is okay, you know that, right? It's okay to feel all those things when you look at him."

"I know," I mumble, tracing an imaginary line on his abs with my fingers. "I just didn't expect it to hit as hard as it did, I guess."

It's true; I knew I'd have some reaction to seeing him again, but because I felt so confident and strong, I didn't think it would be as intense as it was.

"It hit me too," he quietly admits, his fingers trailing over my back as well. "I'd only seen him on that picture on his passport. I've never been more disgusted by anyone. I wanted to go at him."

I feel him tense and in response, I put my hand flat on his stomach. "I know, but please don't. I need you with me."

"You and Dais are the only reason I won't kill him." He sounds so determined, I believe him blindly. I don't have to look him in his eyes to know he means this wholeheartedly. And it makes me feel special.

After a short silence, Hero asks, "Are you ready for tomorrow? Not like you were ready for yesterday but really ready?"

For a moment I think about his question. I thought I was ready for yesterday, but I wasn't. But I am ready for tomorrow. I know what it feels like to see Leonard now, and although I did break internally, I managed to keep my appearances up; Leonard didn't see the effect he still has on me, and I'm convinced it'll work to my benefit.

"I'm ready," I tell him determinedly. "I'm nervous, and I know it will be hard. But I'm ready. I'm ready to fight him and I'm ready to win. This is my chance to show him I'm stronger than everything he did to me."

"And you truly are," Hero immediately counters. "I'm so fucking proud of you, Jo. Truly."

I smile, turning my head so I can leave a kiss on his chest before looking up at him. "Thank you."

He smiles, and then kisses me, slowly. He pours everything he feels into his mouth and tongue, gently and without more. He keeps holding me in the same way, and it feels heavenly. In his arms, time doesn't seem to exist. When we lay like this, it's just us, and knowing we're about to let everyone in on us, I need this more than ever before.

After what feels like hours, he slowly pulls back, one of his hands resting on my cheek as his clear, green-blue eyes flick over my face. "Ready for some sleep? You need to be sharp tomorrow."

I nod, nestling against him once more and closing my eyes. I feel Hero move, and a moment later he flicks off the lamp on his nightstand so the room falls dark. It's quiet, knowing that Daisy isn't sleeping in her own room. She's been away for the night once before, so it isn't entirely new, but somehow it does feel incomplete.

"Everything will be okay, love. We'll face this, together."

I nod against him but don't say anything. And after a few minutes, his chest starts to move up and down steadily, taking my head with it each time. He's fallen asleep.

I will myself to give into the tired feeling as well. I am tired, and I know I need my energy tomorrow. Hero's right; I need to be sharp, so I can fully participate. But along with that knowledge comes the pressure, because this is it. This is what I've fought for all those months. This is for Daisy and me. This is the beginning of my future.

And only I can make sure Leonard won't be in it.

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