With my cheek on her chest and her heartbeat drumming in my ear, I let my previous actions sink in properly. One of her hands tickles my scalp, and even though I'm harder than ever before, I haven't felt this relaxed in a long time either. The contrast couldn't be bigger.

She's growing, becoming her own person more and more every day. Today is an example of that and by the end of the day, all I could think about was being closer to her than ever before.

I didn't think it through; when I shut the door of Dais her bedroom, I didn't plan on sneaking into the bathroom the way I did. I fully intended to wait for her in bed, where her safe place is. The idea only popped up when I walked past the door and heard the shower running. It brought me back to the shower we shared at mum's, and I just couldn't control myself.

Thankfully, she didn't shut down. If anything, she welcomed me openly. She let me look at her, just like she let me touch her. And Jesus, the fact that the taste of her moist pussy is now burned into my whole fucking being might end me.

"That's not what I meant." Her whisper is low and hesitant, her breathing normalizing slightly although her heart is still drumming against my ear frantically.

Not moving, I mumble, "Hmm?" I don't want to move. We're both naked and while I'm lying on top of her like this, the heat is too damn addictive. I never want to move.

"It's not what I meant when I asked if I can do something for you," she repeats, her voice still soft. Her fingers are still combing my hair, the way they seem to tremble tells me she's shy or nervous. Or maybe both.

"What did you mean then?" I move slightly so I can look at her. With red cheeks, her hair a wet, tangled mess, and her teeth that find her lip, she looks like my ultimate wet dream. If I look at her like this, it's hard to fathom what she's been through. She looks young, brazen, and sexy as fuck, with no trace of her trauma. If only that was reality.

She sighs, one hand moving to her face where she places it flat on her cheek. "You know..." She looks at me knowingly, her eyes traveling between us for just a second. "You know what I mean."

Do I? I think I do, but this is where that fucking trauma she carries crashes back in. I promised myself a long time ago not to ever hurt her or scare her, and right now, I'm afraid I will if I assume without making sure I know she truly means the same. I need to hear it from her lips.

"I think I do," I tell her honestly. "But I need to hear it from you. To be sure. I don't want to assume you-"

She silences me by moving her thumb over my lips, sliding it over the upper arch. "I feel safe here with you. I've never felt more cherished. And I want to make you feel just as good as you did me." Her eyes ooze sincerity, her words making me even harder. "With my hands," she adds after a short silence, a frown knitting between her brows. "If you don't mind; I don't think I would ever be able to use my mouth to-"

This time, it's my turn to silence her by sliding up so I'm able to kiss her. Just a short, reassuring peck, but hopefully enough to tell her I don't want her to finish her sentence because I know. I figured that giving would be way harder for her than receiving. She trusts me, and a sexual haze can do a lot, but she was forced to do horrible shit, and I can't imagine what that must feel like.

When I pull back, she looks determined, her hand now on my cheek. "I'm not talking about everything. I think, with time, I might be able to give you more. I want to be able to give you so much more than just this because I know you'll make it good for me. But using my mouth to give you pleasure..." She shakes her head, disappointment and damage visible. "When they raped me, there was pain and humiliation, but when they forced me to use my mouth on them, there also was the fear to choke and die."

I swallow away the salty taste that rises in my jaw and take everything in me to ignore the rage that tries to swim to the surface. I can't let that happen now, while we're here, naked in my bed after she's let me do something so intimate and pure. I can't allow them in here. "You won't ever have to do that if you don't want to," I reassure her.

At this, she rolls her eyes while she sighs. It's a turn I didn't expect to be honest, but I don't get the chance to pull her out of it because she says, "But you'll miss that eventually."

I shake my head, even though I'm not entirely sure I won't. I can't know for sure, because I know that when -if she ever- gives me her fully, I will wonder what her mouth would feel like. I don't think I would be able to rule out thoughts like that; I'm madly in love with this beautiful woman, naturally, I'd eventually want to do all those things with her.

But I'd only want it if she's enjoying it as much as me. The way I just enjoyed licking her is beyond this world, and if she can't feel like that or even better when she sucks me, I don't want her to do it.

"There is so much other stuff we can do, love. Trust me, a blowjob isn't all that when there is a world of possibilities out there."

"Like what? My hand can't possibly be all that." She rolls her eyes again, and for the first time, while discussing sex, she seems frustrated.

"Do you really want to get into this right now?" When she nods determinedly, I can't help but chuckle. "Just trust me. We'll explore together."

No way in hell I'm going into detail about toys and other kinky shit right now. Not when she's barely touched me.

"But you said something about your hand and it sounded awesome." I press my hips -and thereby my hard cock- against her, wiggling my eyebrows in hopes we get back into that carefree flow we had before she started talking about oral sex.

Thankfully, the color in her cheeks returns at my words as she nods her head. "I want to make you feel good. Like you do me." The soft tone of her voice is back, and it's making all the hairs on my body stand. She has no idea how fucking tempting she sounds.

"I'm all yours," I let her know, leaning down and kissing her again. Soon, her hands laced in my hair, and she surprises me by pushing me onto my side, throwing her leg over my hip when she's next to me on her side too. She lays her hand on my chest, and while she keeps kissing me -a little clumsier than when she's solely focussing on her mouth and tongue- her hand slowly travels down. "Tell me what you like."

You. I like you and everything you think you should do right now. It's the first thing that comes to mind, but I decide against voicing it out loud. I know she needs my guidance in this, and so I focus.

"Remember what I did in the shower?" My voice trembles, dripping with sexual fueled need.

"One hand was wrapped around your... penis and the other was on your... you know." Her cheeks are bright red as she takes my lesson as seriously as she can, her eyes traveling down in between us again, this time keeping their focus on my swollen cock that's saluting her proudly.

Goddamnit, she's gonna make me blow effortlessly.

"Yeah," I agree, willing myself to steady my breathing. "Let's just do one thing for now. You can wrap your hand around me if you want. Do you need me to show you?"

First, she seems to think about my question, and when she's sure, she shakes her head. "Can I try? If you don't like it then-"

I chuckle before silencing her with my mouth shortly. As if.

Her hand slides down and then she wraps it around me, surprisingly firm and sure. It forces me to pull back from our kiss and focus. If I don't, I fear it'll all be over too soon.

She first just holds me. Her head is bowed, her eyes solidly on my cock, and how her hand wraps around me. I only now notice how fucking delicate her fingers are; they are thin and looped around me they barely touch tips. It feels like the first time someone touched me all over again; the nerves that rise in my stomach, the hairs that stand on my skin. Goddamnit, I'm almost afraid to breathe and ruin the moment.

"Yours looks different," she whispers, pulling my thoughts back to her.

"Different?" Jesus Christ, I'm a grunting, panting mess and she's only just holding me. I need to get a fucking grip.

I hate to hear about them, especially now while being in such an intimate position with her. But at the same time, she hardly ever speaks about them, and I don't want to cut her off. Talking is key, it's what everyone always says, and since I'm a newbie here too just as much as she is since I've never had to deal with traumas like hers, I want her to talk.

"Different." She nods and lifts her head so we're nose to nose. "You're bigger, but it also feels different. Fuller maybe? And your skin is a little... longer? Theirs has two colors."

I try with all my might not to chuckle, but I fail miserably. She's just too damn cute, too fucking innocent even though she's been through hell. "I'm... uncut," I explain. She looks at me expectantly, eager for more information. "It means I didn't have surgery. That skin you're talking about is called foreskin and some men remove it, for religious reasons or just because they want to. It bares the glans."

She takes in everything I tell her, her eyes down on my cock once more. And then, when I'm done, she slowly moves her hand down, sliding the skin along with her and baring my tip little by little. It feels fucking good, and a moan escapes as evidence of that.

"I like that you're different," she softly admits, stroking back and then repeating the previous movement. "It makes you the only one. Sort of."

The vulnerability in her voice baffles me, and it also forces me to say the one thing that floats to mind, to reassure her and to be selfish for just one moment. "I am the only one, love. They don't count."

For a moment she scans my face, and I watch how determination slowly washes over her features. And then she kisses me, how I kissed her before, with urgency and force, as her hand starts to move properly too. Up and down, her thumb sliding over my tip ever so often. For a second she has me wondering how the hell she knows what to do, but then I realize that she's probably known from the moment she asked me if she could do something for me.

She just needed some confidence to do it.

Waking up while Jo is feeding Dais in bed is my favorite thing in the whole world. Dais is bigger now and moves around much more than when she was smaller, but I love how her arms move all around her and how her legs kick while she drinks. It's starting to become my wake-up call; just before she starts drinking, she turns my way and manages to either grab some strands of my hair in her fists or kick me in my side.

She's properly sleeping through the night by now, which means waking up isn't nearly such a bitch as when she cried every two to three hours. We get a solid six hours now, and it does wonders.

"Morning," Jo whispers when she sees I'm awake. When I look at her, I find her hair messy and her lips red still, reminding me immediately of what went down last night. Even after she'd made me come, we kept kissing until we fell asleep.

"Good morning," my rough voice says while I shimmy towards the pair of them, locking Dais in the middle and lacing my arm around Jo. This way, I can touch Dais her head with my nose. Her scent gets to me every time. "I love how she smells in the morning."

"Like dried milk and morning breath?" Jo giggles. She looks happy this morning and I know for a fact it's because of what we shared last night.

"No," I smirk, shaking my head. "It's unlike anything else. There is nothing like it. It's Dais."

Jo smiles, her expression soft. "It's Dais."

For a few blissful moments, we just lay in bed like every other morning when we get the chance. Until the buzzing of my phone pulls my attention elsewhere. When I look at the screen, I see it's Hanson, and immediately I'm on high alert. I'm planned for an evening shift today, so the fact that he calls now tells me it's urgent.

"One sec," I tell Jo before sliding to answer. "Hanson," I greet, sitting up in bed.

"Hero," Hanson returns, his voice serious from the get-go. "I'm sorry to bother you, but it couldn't wait until tonight."

"No problem," I tell him.

"Good," he answers. "Listen, are you able to come to the station sooner today, say around one? I have a matter to discuss with you."

In the years I've worked with Hanson, he's only ever asked me to come early if there was a pressing matter, and it's why I immediately agree. "No problem, I'll be there."

After confirming and bitting goodbye, I hang up, looking straight into Jo's questioning gaze. "Everything good?" She asks. She tries to hide the worry in her tone, but she fails, and I know it's because every time my work calls, something is changing regarding her case. This time though, I don't think it's about her; Hanson sounded calm and if it were urgent and about her case, he would've said it over the phone.

"Yeah. Just need to go to the station a little sooner today. Hanson wants a word." I move my hand to her cheek, my thumb tracing her red, slightly swollen lips for a second. "I'll go around one."

"Oh." She frowns, her eyebrows knitting together. "I was supposed to meet Alice and my lawyers at twelve-thirty," she adds carefully, sensing that I've forgotten. Which I had.

"Fuck," I curse lowly. "Sorry, I'll call him back to see if it can wait until you're back." I reach for my phone immediately, hating how I forgot something this important, but Jo's hand on my arm stops me from calling back.

"No, it's important, so I'll reschedule." She looks at me determinedly, but it doesn't feel right. Nothing is more important than her trial and her therapy.

I shake my head, disagreeing. "Love, you need to talk to them as often as possible before the trial starts. It's fine. Hanson knows this, he won't mind."

I can tell by her features that she doesn't want to let this go, and I know why. she seems to think everything over, the wheels turning in her head. She'll probably start about how she doesn't want me to put my work and life on hold for her, and I've already got the perfect defense ready, but then she surprises me.

"Do you think your mom can watch Daisy for a few hours? I was supposed to have dinner at her place anyway, so maybe she doesn't mind?"

While her eyes are wide and hopeful, I catch mine a little emotional suddenly. My chest is filling with love, and I don't know if it's because she talked to mum herself and agreed to have dinner there while I have my evening shift, or because she's trusting my mum enough to let her watch Daisy. Either way, both things are fucking huge, and they fill my senses with pride and love for her.

"You'd... you'd let her?" I check, slightly surprised still.

At this, Jo determinedly nods her head, without thinking and doubt, and truthfully, I wouldn't even need her words anymore after it. "I trust her. She's helped me so much, and she's so lovely to Daisy. If she doesn't mind, I'm completely okay with it."

I can't fight the urge to kiss her and forcefully do so, squeezing Daisy in between us a little more before pulling back. "She'd be ecstatic."

Jo smiles, her cheeks a pink glow. "Then I'll ask her."

Drunk on her and with a stupid grin plastered on my face, I walk into the station. Jo and I dropped Dais off at mum's before I brought Jo to the facility where she meets with Alice still, and to my surprise goodbye were rather peaceful. Jo cuddled Dais a little longer than necessary but after kissing her head four times, she did hand her over to my mum smoothly.

And Jesus, my mum glowed with pride as she took her from Jo. At that moment, I could see all the emotions that ran through her, and it made me realize how much of an impact Jo and Dais have made on her as well. She loves them, simply because she knows I love them although I haven't told her with as many words.

When I drove Jo to Alice, she asked if I thought it was weird that it felt okay to leave Daisy with my mum. She didn't say great or good, but I can imagine that it did. Not only does it show how far she has come yet again, but it also symbolizes opportunities. Because maybe I can take her on a date sometime when we're sailing slow waters. We could bring Dais to mum and have the evening for ourselves. Fuck, the mere thought makes me nervous and excited.

After reassuring Jo that mum loves taking care of Daisy, we talked about her coming appointment. She's getting more anxious about the trial each day, but her lawyers Gigi and Florence are sure that their planning is going perfectly fine. I'm glad Jo has Alice; in the past weeks, Jo has created a bond with her, and I can tell she's a great shoulder to lean on.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, forcing me to stop walking for a moment so I can look. It's a message from mum, and when I open it, I see a selfie of her and Dais. They are laying on the couch, and given Daisy's red cheeks and milk-drunk smile, she's just gotten her bottle. We're taking a nap, says her explanation, and it makes me grin. I forward both the picture and message to Jo, even though I suspect mum has sent the same to her, and then I start walking through the long hallway again until I'm in front of Hanson's office.

I knock two times, and almost immediately, he permits me. When I open the door, I find him behind his desk, his glasses in his hand as his gaze meets mine. To my surprise, I find Dwight across from him, and given both their facial expressions and body language, this talk isn't a good one.

"Ello," I mumble, immediately consumed by the tension that hangs in the room. What the fuck is going on?

"Hero." Hanson nods, his serious frown still lingering as his eyes move to Dwight.

He in his turn nods without saying a word. It's weird since he's one of the most animated guys I know. It's clear something is off, and if I'm not mistaken, it's Dwight his fault.

Maybe he fucked a colleague. I'd see him do it.

"Have a seat," Hanson invites when Dwight doesn't make a sound. I take the seat next to him, and the moment I try to make eye contact, he bows his head.

"What's going on?" I ask, surprisingly steady even though I sense there is something really wrong here. I just can't fit the pieces together; what can be so wrong that I have to know about it?

Hanson clears his throat, eyeing Dwight as if to silently ask, will you or shall I? But when Dwight keeps quiet once more, Hanson's serious eyes find me. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just spit it out. But please, keep in mind we're not alone in here."

What the fuck? This sounds fucking serious. "Go on," I press, my voice suddenly a lot darker than moments before.