"I'm just going to turn off the stove," Hero mumbles as I feel his grip on me subside. In reaction, I'm clenching onto him even more, so eventually, he only has one arm that he can reach out to turn it off given the other one is still occupied by my daughter. As the sound of boiling water slowly fades away, Hero wraps his arm around me once more. This time, I feel how he nuzzles his face in my hair as well, inhaling right after. "I won't lose you in all the chaos, love. I promise," he then mumbles.

Ever since I met him, he seems to have a thrid eye for what's going on inside my head and what I need to hear. He always says the right things, always managed to calm me when I lost myself in thoughts, and now, as we're transferring to a different stage, he knows just what to say to reassure me. It's remarkable.

"I don't know what the future holds for me," I warn him, simply because I have to. While I feel strong with Hero with me, it's all just a memory when I'm alone. When I'm alone, trauma, doubt, fear, and pain overrule all my senses. And while I'd love to depend on Hero for the rest of my life just because it would mean not facing everything, I know I can't.

I can't because Daisy deserves more. I can't because I deserve more than that. For Daisy, I want to be strong. I want her to have a role model in me; a strong woman that fought back. I want her to know that whatever happens, she's just as strong.

"Nobody knows that, silly one. I don't know what I'll be like in ten years. But I don't care." He leaves a kiss on top of my head. "What I do know, is that I want you. I want you now, I'll want you tomorrow, I'll want you when we're fucking sixty years old. I want you, Jo. You, your traumas, your fears, I want everything that is you." He pulls back a little, making sure our gazes connected. "You just have to give it to me."

His eyes are shining, with emotion but also with a hint of excitement. His green eyes have pulled me out and taken me back to the present so many times before, just like they do now.

"I don't know how long it will take me to give everything to you."

He shakes his head, swallowing visibly. "I'll wait," he simply says. "For as long as you need me to." I know he means it. Now that I think about it, he has always waited for me. Even when we were at the hospital. "But if you want, we can search for things that help you outside of therapy."

I frown. Outside of therapy? What else is there? "Like what?"

His free hand finds a strand of hair and he laces it around his finger. "Like self-defense classes? I've had them as part of my job, and we get a six-monthly recap as well. We can find you a gym, maybe even go together if you want?"

Somehow, the thought of going to the gym frightens me hugely. Ever since I'm free, the only big group of people I've been around is Hero's family. I can't imagine going to a public place like that.

"Can't you teach me?" I quietly ask, and almost immediately I see a soft smile play around his features.

"That kind of messes with the purpose," he chuckles, shaking his head as his thumb wipes over my cheek. My face falls even though I know what he means, and that seems to push him over the edge. "How about I teach you the basics? Once you have a little more confidence, we can take another step. Sounds good?"

I'm not immediately convinced. Because how long will teaching me those basics take? If it's done in two weeks, I'm not ready to go out in the open either. But because I trust Hero to know what he's doing, I nod my head anyway. I guess this is part of becoming my own person too.

"Since we can't eat this," Hero pipes up, stepping away from me so he can stir in the pan with my attempted dinner. "Wanna order in?"

"I'm sorry," I apologize again but Hero shakes his head dismissively.

"Why don't we cook together from now on? It doesn't make sense to cook alone anyway. If we do it together, you'll get the hang of it soon enough. How about Chinese for now?"

I don't think I ever had Chinese, so I let Hero order what he usually gets. Since he's occupied with the phone and Daisy on his arm still, I start to make the table. Taking two plates from the cabinet, I make my way to the table that connects the living and kitchen, and it's then that I spot the envelope on which this whole mess started in the first place.

He hasn't commented on it since he came back, but his explanation and frankly also declaration have put things in massive perspective. And although he is kind and patient enough to give me all the time I need, I feel like I need to give him something in return. Something that tells him I'm trying and willing to learn, with him.

"Do you think my story is enough?" I ask while grabbing the envelope with Daisy's sample. It feels like the key to redemption, but deep down, I know there's much more to it than just a sample that proves what they did.

"What?" Hero asks from behind me. I can feel him getting closer, and when he's standing directly behind me, he seems to understand. "Oh, that. I believe it should be given the place where he held you. But of course, DNA outweighs everything. This is proof of what they did to you."

I take a deep breath and nod, overthinking my options. To me, it's clear; if I use Daisy's sample, the trial to conviction will be a lot easier. There won't be any doubt; Leonard and those others belong behind bars for the rest of their lives. With that sample, I can put my past and my trauma behind bars.

But with that, I'll hurt Hero. I know I do. And he is my future. It'll be a heavy, rocky future, but he is what's best for Daisy. He is what's best for me. And he's never hurt me, so will I be able to hurt him to secure my past?

"Will you fight with me?" I don't know why I even ask. Even before the sentence has left my mouth completely, I feel Hero nod against the back of my head in confirmation, leaving a kiss there in promise too.

"Till the end, love. Forever." He sounds so pure and determined, I can't doubt it even though I should. I should fully trust him on this.

Without saying anything, I move to the trashcan, opening it with my foot. And with one last glance at the printed label that says confidential and evidence, I drop it in the bin. My story, which I will tell in my own words with my own voice, has to be enough.

When I turn around, I find Hero looking at me intently. Daisy has fallen asleep against his chest, and he's holding her against him with both hands, for dear life. His eyes are a little darker, his expression full of question, almost in a vulnerable way. He licked his lips, followed by a whisper that asks, "Are you sure?"

I shrug because no, I'm not. But what I am sure about, is the two that are standing in front of me. Hero and Daisy. Her brown hair and his match, the way she fits against him suggest that she was made to lay there, in his arms. And she feels safe which is all I ever wanted. She is safe.

"I trust you," I tell him in answer, hoping it will be enough. And he feels it because he nods and takes two strides before lacing one arm around me again, crushing me against his other pec, right next to my daughter.

"And I love you," he mumbles, kissing my head. His voice is laced with emotion, and even though I can't see him, I'm sure that same emotion is written across his face as well. "I love both of you."

The warm water soaks my hair and instantly relaxes my musscles and mind. After a day like this, with so many emotions and choices, a warm shower is welcoming and soothing. I can't imagine how I lived without a warm shower, without prying eyes or a limit of time, for so long. When I was in that apartment still, Leonard often stayed in the bathroom, and later on, I didn't even have the chance to shower at all.

I feel safe here, in this shower, shielded by the water that pours on me, and like often today, I wonder once again how I got this lucky. And almost immediately after that thought, comes the terrifying what if. What if Hero hadn't kicked in that door that night?

A cold shiver runs through me as my mind takes me back to that apartment, to that cold, hard, wooden floor. The striking pain that moves through my belly, starting in my lower abdomen and slowly working its way up, fading and disappearing for a few minutes before starting all over again. The panic, how sad I felt, and how scared I was for my baby's health.

The door that opens behind me startles me for a second, but it also brings me back to the safe cocoon I'm in now. And when I turn around and make eye contact with the solid reason for feeling as safe and guarded as I do, my stomach flutters.

Surprisingly enough, I don't feel the need to hide. If anything, I like how his green eyes slowly and doubtful move down and over my body. No one has ever looked at me the way Hero does, and I had no idea a gaze could make you feel loved.

"She's asleep," he informs as he finds my face again.

I smile. "Thank you."

He lightly shakes his head, closing the door behind him. I'm not sure what his intentions are. Is he going to stand there? Will he leave? Will he join me? The latter option reminds me of the shower we shared at his mom's, and my body heats at the thought. I wouldn't mind if he-

My thoughts and movements come to a halt as he abruptly pulls his shirt over his head. He doesn't say anything, but he keeps eye contact with me, somehow silently communicating if what he's doing is okay. And although I don't react verbally, I know he feels it is. In this case, silence appears to be enough consent for us, words could only stop it.

While the sound of water that falls on the tiles overrules the silence, Hero undoes himself from his pants and underwear in one go. And the sight of him naked shoots a shock through me.

He is beautiful. I never, not in a million years, thought I would be able to think something like that. Before him, men scared me. To me, they were the symbol of pain, shame, and aggression. But when I look at Hero, only the opposite rises.

His height makes me feel safe. I love the way his long arms can wrap around me fully and shield me from everything around me.

His strength protects me. Whenever I feel low and unsure, his strength pulls me through. He even manages to lend me some of that strength once in a while, so I can get through my dark moments and face my demons.

And his...thing. My whole life, I thought men had it for only one purpose; pain. It scared me, disgusted me, and terrified me. The way it was used on me, always made me believe it was there to inflict pain. But then there was Hero. And he never hurts me. He never pushes me. He's always been gentle and all about me. And since recently, I've been craving more although it still confuses and scares me.

When he's gotten rid of his socks too, he walks to me confidently. He doesn't ask to join me, he just does. And not only as in sharing the pouring water; the moment I'm within reach, his arms wrap around my waist and pull me against him tightly, our naked fronts pressed flush.

For a short moment, we stand like this. His arms around my waist, my cheek against his chest, and our bodies melted together. It feels amazing, safe, and sweet. But when one of his hands moves to my chin and lifts my head, a whole new sensation consumes me.

He presses his lips against mine with urgency, way harder than he's ever done before. He doesn't ease into it either; his tongue pushes through almost immediately, granting me no time to adjust. For the first time, it feels as if he's able to let go, and while that type of uncontrollability always hurt me in the past, I know it won't now. Hero knows what he's doing.

Lifting my arms, I throw them around his shoulders, the heat in my lower belly getting hotter with each flick of his tongue around mine. It's starting to feel familiar now; the first time I felt it, it overwhelmed me, but now I can only embrace it. This feeling is connected to Hero and how he makes me feel, and that's precisely why I'm feeling calm in my head. This feeling fights away the demons.

In the past weeks, Alice and I have talked about this a lot. The truth is; that it will take me a long time to embrace my sexuality fully. There will always be moments of doubt, but as long as I don't feel any of the things I felt during my time at the apartment, Alice reassured me what I feel is normal and that I should explore it if that's what I want.

"Tell me to stop if you want me to," Hero whispers against my mouth, pulling away for just a moment. He doesn't grant me time to confirm; his mouth clashes with mine right after the words are out.

I can hardly keep up with this new side of him. These kisses are the next level, and they leave me breathless. But in a good, new, exciting way. I'm curious and nervous, fully letting him lead this time and it's refreshing. As if I can switch off completely for just a moment.

I lose myself in him as his hands slide over my back, down to my behind. His fingertips linger on the scar on my back, almost in a loving, I'm-not-forgetting-them kind of way. For a moment I'm convinced he will lay his hands on my behind, but he surprises me when he goes further south, eventually placing them on my upper legs so he can lift me.

I gasp at his move, disturbing the kiss for a moment. The water that splashes on my face makes it a little harder to look at him properly, but I don't miss how he reads me.

"Were you done showering?" he asks, still not letting the distance become bigger than a few inches.

I steady myself by gripping his shoulders, my legs on each side of his body as he holds me. Due to the position we're in, I feel him against me. He is hard, just like he was during the first shower we took together naked and just like the last time when he rubbed against me in bed. But this time, I feel him skin to skin.

"I... I think so. Yes," I answer his question, my voice a tone I don't recognize. I sound out of breath and I can hardly control my breathing.

He hums, a small smile playing around his lips. "Keep holding me," he then says, and I immediately hold onto him a little firmer as he reaches behind me to close the tap so the water stops raining on us.

Without putting myself on my own feet and not even thinking about reaching for a towel, he turns and walks out of the shower, opening the door that leads to the hallway. The cold air that greets us allows goosebumps to rise on my skin, but I feel anything but cold. If anything, it feels welcoming since my skin is burning with feelings I hardly all recognize.

Walking with ease, he brings me to the bedroom, no doubt leaving a trail of water behind us since we're both wet still. When he's kicked the door shut behind him, he gently lays me on the bed, my head on the pillow, on his side. "We'll change the sheets later," he lets me know, and then he climbs over me, his arms resting next to my head.

We look at each other, me curiously, and he in a different way than he normally does. More secure? Less careful? More convinced?

He takes a deep breath, his eyes going over every inch of my face. "Thank you."

I frown, not expecting his words. "For what?" I whisper.

"For throwing that sample away. For trusting me with your daughter. For trusting me with yourself. Just... For everything." He shakes his head, his eyes scanning me again, this time also casting down to my cleavage. "For you," he concludes when his eyes find mine again.

I smile even though my eyes tear up a little at his sweet words. He has no idea how I'm the one who should be thanking him for my life.

But before I can, he shakes his head, almost as if he reads my thoughts. And then, his thumbs slide over my cheeks as he presses a kiss onto my lips. "Do you trust me?"

I nod immediately. His question is surprisingly silly, given his little speech moments ago, but I know how he means it. He wants to know if I trust him like this, vulnerable and all out. And laying here like this, naked with him without feeling anything that comes close to my trauma, it's the ultimate proof of trust for me.

He swallows visibly and then leans up so our bodies no longer touch. he then crawls down, urging my legs to open a little so he can rest in between them. I watch him maneuver while holding my breath, not daring to blink. He was close before, but he's never been as close as he is now.

His eyes haven't left my face. And they still don't. Even now, while I feel his breath in between my legs, he never once averts his gaze. "Do you know what I'm going to do?"

Even the way he asks me things is different. He doesn't ask me if he can do anything; he knows he will. Now, he simply tries to prepare me, and I need it because I don't think I've ever felt more clueless.

"What are you going to do?" I'm curious, but mostly, I feel comfortable even though I'm in a very vulnerable position. It's because I'm convinced that, if I don't like his intentions, he will see it immediately. It's always been like that ever since we started this intimate relationship; he guides me, but I have the control, just like Alice advised.

Slowly, he grabs my hands and laces his fingers with mine. I had no idea I was gripping the sheets the way I did, only now that we're hand in hand, I notice how my fingers cramped. His thumbs reassuringly stoke my skin, rubbing out some of the tension. "Have you ever thought about being kissed, being licked, where it burns?"

His question turns my cheeks bright red. I haven't. I truly have never thought about that. I know the mouth can be used for... that. Unfortunately, I've experienced it way too often under great pressure. It's one thing that I know I can't ever do again. Not even with Hero, the person I trust most. What they did when they forced themselves into my mouth, still traumatizes me until this day. The lack of air, the constant feeling of being choked. More than once I thought I was suffocating, and I'm convinced that's a trauma I will never be able to fight away. I don't even want to try.

But what Hero means is not that. He means it the other way around and he knows nobody has ever done it to me I'm sure. It's no doubt why he asks if I thought about it. It's one of the very few things nobody's ever done to me, and up until Hero brought it up moments ago, I didn't even think about it being an option.

"I haven't," I whisper, hesitantly because of the unknown.

He sweetly smiles, his thumbs still stroking me, reassuring me. "Will you let me try? If you hate it, I'll stop. If it takes you anywhere different than here and now with me, in this bed, you just have to push me away and I promise I'll stop."

I'm curious, that I'll admit, but also confused. Because I can't imagine doing that would be good for him. Given my own experience, I can't understand how someone would willingly use their mouth to do something like that. What if he-

"Hey, come back," he gently squeezes my hands, pulling me out of my head. "Tell me what's going through your mind."

"I... I don't know if you should. What if you can't breathe?"

At this, he chuckles, but only briefly. "Don't worry about me, I'll be more than fine. This is about you."