I hear my heartbeat drum in my ears frantically. It's the proof that my heart is pumping my blood through the veins in my heated body fast. Steam is almost coming out of my nostrils like a raging bull ready to strike. It's the perfect resembles of how I feel inside; I'm ready to kill.

It must be a sharp contrast to the sight that Jo's looking at right at this moment. As my thumb swipes the red button so the call ends, I have my eyes on her already. She looks curious, still not having a clue what kind of information I just received. I made sure that she couldn't figure it out by my reply. When Hanson confirmed that they've got him, I simply said "good." After that, I hung up. A single word that didn't even comes close to all the things that rush through me right now but needed because I want my full attention on Jo when I tell her.

I have every intention of going to the station today, but not after I've told Jo. The moment Hanson told me, I figured that the right thing to do is tell her now, especially because I know that if I go to the station first, the rage inside me will convince me to torture that fucking cunt the moment I'll see him.

I doubt that time will change that, but I'm hoping Jo will somehow change the aggression inside me into something relatable to common sense.

Daisy's knocked out against my chest still, obviously also clueless to how my chest -that serves as her mattress as we speak- is heavily moving up and down as I try to keep myself in check. She is without doubt the reason I'm still standing at the same spot as I did when I heard Hanson say those words. If it wasn't for Daisy's sleeping form -limb, feeling utterly safe, and completely depending on me- I would've trashed every single thing along my way to the door.

It's almost funny to see how a personality can change over just seconds. I've never in my entire life felt the type of rage that rushes through me at this moment. Never have I ever had the serious thought, maybe even need, to kill someone. To give another being as much pain and torture as Jo received during her stay with him, it's becoming a must with each passing minute.

I've always took pride in the fact that I'm a calm, reasonable guy, which is, in my line of work, a very valuable thing. I believe it's the reason why I'm good at what I do; a case hardly ever takes an unexpected turn and it escalates only on very rare occasions.

Until her.

Her case is the only one that sucked me in from the moment I found her on that hard, wooden floor. And she's the only one that I seem to find important enough to wake this side in me. Jo and the little girl that's sleeping in my arms.

And I know the reason; I've felt it once before. In a completely different setting and scenario, and while the feeling was nothing like this, the fundament was the same.

It was years back, when Mercy had just started secondary. Two girls bullied her, and once Titan and I got word of that, we didn't hesitate in acting like the two big brothers we are. The fundament in that scenario? Love.

No one, no-fucking-one, touches or hurts the people I love.

And while I just an hour ago thought that what I feel for Jo is still an innocent type of love that will likely grow out to be more, I think I can now establish that that's shit.

I love her. I don't care that I've only known her for a few days, and I don't care that it's highly inappropriate considering how we met.

I love Daisy. I love the way she sucks on her two fingers and I love the way that our thing -her laying across my chest- is making us both feel as if nothing else exists.

I love them. And even though I could've known it way before this moment, I only now realize that I would do anything for them. That I would protect them against anything or anyone. And that I would kill for them if that ensures their safety.

"Does your boss need you at work?" Jo's soft voice now has a slight doubt in her tone because I have been staring at her like an idiot for fuck knows how long.

I shake my head and swallow the salty taste away, all the while forcing myself to make sure the next words come out as easy and neutral as possible. "Jo," I start, but the rest of the words somehow die in my throat as I hear how different my voice sounds.

Even my fucking voice oozes rage.

Upon hearing my tone, the pink blush that colored her cheeks moments ago disappears, and the pull between us is replaced by an anxious, tense vibe. "What? Do I have to leave?"

Her question surprises me, and for just a second I wonder what kind of news she would've preferred; the one she just mentioned or the one that I'm about the tell her.

"No," I respond as I shake off the thoughts. "And even if they had found you a place, I think we both know that you're not going anywhere."

For a split second, relief washes over her expression while she lets out a breath. But soon her questionable frown appears once more. "Then what's wrong?" She demands, her tone strong. It's the strongest I've ever heard her speak, along with her volume that's suddenly harder. Pride swells in my chest, and even though it's not nearly enough to overrule the rage, I still feel it.

Her eyes never leave mine while her hands fumble with the hem of her long shirt. She's nervous, just like I am, but she tries to hide it. She's trying to be strong, but I can see the realization of what I'm about to say slowly hit.

I take another steady breath, this time through my nose so I get a whiff of Daisy's scent. It calms me and I need that as I repeat the words Hanson said to me. "We've got him."

At first, it's as if she didn't hear me. Not a single reaction is visible; her demeanor stays the same, just as her position, and even her breathing doesn't change. For a moment, she's frozen, as if the time's standing still.

And then I see all the color drain from her face. Her eyes water and her lip starts to tremble, and just as I want to step towards her to offer something -anything- that will help her process this information, her knees give out and she crashes onto the floor while her hands find her face.

I watch and listen in horror as cries leave her body. They are soft cries, but I've never heard something like it. They cut through me like sharp knives and leave chills in its wake. It clenches my heart. It sounds like pain. And fear. And defeat. And every other traumatic thing you can think of.

After a second I'm able to snap out of my thoughts, and my legs allow me to walk to the couch. There, I place Daisy -who thankfully doesn't seem to be aware of her mother's pain- in the corner that's attached to the lounge. I lie a pillow next to her so she can't roll off even though she can't roll yet, and then move to Jo as fast as I can.

The moment I place my hand on her shoulder, she jumps back, causing her back to slam against one of the kitchen cabinets. Her head lifts and her fear-filled eyes look up at me. It's a look that takes me right back to that moment I kicked in the door of that apartment, and it's causing so much emotion that I'm falling onto my knees while I hold my hands up to show her I won't hurt her.

"Please," she whimpers, her breathing so shallow I'm afraid she will hyperventilate if she doesn't get it under control.

I nod my head, silently telling her that I know, even though I don't have a fucking clue what she's begging me for. All I know is that the progress she's made over the days that she's staying with me seems to fade. Every little moment that transpired between us seems to have left her memories, and instead, there is only him.

"I can't," she chokes, her hands now clasped in front of her, the pressure on them so hard that they are almost completely white. She's sitting on her knees, her back still against the cabinet. "I can't do this. He'll find me. He'll take me back."

I reach for her, ignoring the sharp ache that I feel when I see her flinch and jolt back once more. "He won't."

She shakes her head while her eyes follow my hands with fear. "He will. He'll take Daisy too."

I scoot closer and touch her shoulder again, this time holding onto it so she can't yank away from me. "No, Jo. He won't." My voice is strong and determined. I've never talked to her like this before, but I'm desperate. It's the only thing that I can think of that will maybe snap her out of the dark place she's in.

"He will," she argues once more, still trying to get away from my touch. "You have no idea what he's like. He took me before."

My other hand goes to her other shoulder, and once I get a hold of that one too, I turn her so she is facing me completely. Her head snaps up, her eyes wide and wet. "You listen to me now, Jo. He won't. I promised to keep you and Daisy safe, and I will."

Her eyes stay on me, but I can tell that's all. Her thoughts are still far away, and her fear is so close to the surface that I can taste it. It's making me sick. I hate seeing her like this, even more so because I know what she can look like if those dark events and the fear aren't consuming her thoughts.

"You don't know what he's like," she repeats, this time her voice softer. The strong tone she used for just a moment has disappeared. "And he knows it's not just me anymore." She's referring to Daisy, but I hear something else entirely.

I squeeze her shoulders a little harder, trying to get her back to me once more. "You're right. It's not just you anymore. It's you, Daisy, and me. I'm here. And I'll protect the two of you. You're safe, Jo. I promise."

My words seem to pull her back a little bit, her eyes focussing on me just a little better. "You can't promise that because you don't know what he's like."

"I can," I counter, even though I know she's got a point. She's told me only a very small part of what he's put her through, and maybe this will backfire immensely, but I don't care. "He doesn't know you're here. And we won't let him go anytime soon. He won't get to you."

The need to repeat that last sentence is overwhelming. I want to say it over and over until she believes me. Until she gives in just because she can't hear those words anymore.

A sob leaves her throat and on cue, I feel her whole body shaking. Her lip starts trembling as well, and soon the cries follow once more. This time, defeat takes the upper hand; as if she's letting every other emotion behind. He leans forward so her head comes into contact with my shoulder, the rest of her body not touching me as if she's afraid of the contact.

I can't contain myself and wrap my arms around her so I can pull her closer to me. Because she's sitting on her knees, the action is kinda awkward, but eventually, she gives in. She scoots to me, finally letting me in as she turns and crashes her back against my front while she sits in between my legs. Her legs are pressed to her chest, her arms and mine wrapped around them. And as she cries, I push my nose in her hair and against her scalp.

And I let her cry. I let her cry because that's all I can do. I know that I would never be able to take away the pain that she's feeling right now. I just want her to know that she can let her guard down around me. That I won't judge her and that she can always come to me when she's in pain, just like I made her promise when we were in my old bedroom at mum's.

After a good ten minutes, her cries seem to become less hard. She also gets control over them a little more, and another couple of minutes later the only thing that comes out are sobs. They still control her whole body, but the cries that hurt me to the bone have stopped.

She's just laying in my arms. She feels cold and she's shivering, and although she is laying against me, there is a distance between us that wasn't there before. She's so far, that even the kiss that we shared before we got interrupted seems like a fantasy.

I'm not sure how to go from here. I don't know what to say or how to move, and as a result, I just sit still. I hardly breathe because I'm afraid that if I do, she'll jump away from me again. The only thing that's moving is my thumb against her upper arm.

Up and down. Up and down. The same movement, over the same inch of her skin, in the same rhythm. Over and over. It's like a mantra that says; don't move away. Don't move away.

When her sobs have subsided as well, I can't keep up with the silence any longer. I need to say something that will force her to talk back, just so I know that she's in this moment with me, even though it's only a small part of her. "I have to go to the station today."

She tenses once more, and I mentally kick myself for saying this instead of focussing on her first. But at the same time I know that we have to discuss this. Not talking about it doesn't make it go away.

"So you'll be gone?" She whimpers, and I instantly know why she asks. I feel it too. She's scared. And that's completely understandable.

"I'll come back," I mumble in her hair before kissing the top of her head. "But if you want, I can take you and Daisy to my mum's. You won't be alone, and you're safe there too."

Silence fills the room once more, only a lost sob leaves Jo's body on occasion. After she's thought through my offer for quite some time, she inhales deeply through her nose. "Won't she mind?"

"No. No, Jo, she won't. You have to stop thinking that you're a burden to me or my family. You're not. We all want to help you." Only when the words have left my mouth and I replay them in my head, I hear the demanding tone I've used and I immediately regret it. But just as I want to apologize, Jo's soft voice speaks up once more.

"Then I think I'd like that. I don't want to be alone." She doesn't react or respond to what I've said to her and the tone I've used, and I swear that I feel her relax slightly in my arms as well.

"Then I'll call her."

Jo nods her head, but neither of us moves. We stay seated on the floor, in the same position, even though my back is starting to cramp and we're both not comfortable.

"What will you do at the station?" She asks after another silence. Her hands are moving a little so they are both resting on my arms which are still wrapped around her pulled-up legs.

"I have to talk to Hanson." It's not a complete lie, I do have to talk to him. I want to know every little detail of how they arrested him and where they found him. And if Hanson grants me the pleasure, I'll visit him. Just two minutes. It's all I need.

"Why?" She presses, and I'm happy she does. I'm glad she's talking to me. It's a step closer to how we were before the call. We're not nearly there, but at least she isn't shutting down on me completely.

"I want to know more about his arrest," I honestly tell her, not wanting to keep any secrets. This is all about her and what she's been through, and she deserves to know everything.

"Will they interrogate him?" She tenses slightly while she asks this.

"If they aren't already doing that, then yes. They will."

She lets out a sigh. "Do you promise to stay like this?"

I frown at her question, not sure what she means or what she's referring to. "What do you mean?"

She takes another breath and then moves so she can look at me. Her red-stained eyes are swollen, her lashes sticking together and the tip of her nose is red too. "Do you promise to not treat me any different? Whatever you'll hear about me, do you promise to stay like this?"

My heart breaks as I see shame and fear take over her expression, and without her saying anything else, I know what she means. With this question, she confirms my thoughts; I only know a very small part of what happened to her.

I move my hand to her cheek so she can't look away. "Jo, you're strong, fucking brave, and beautiful. I'm in awe of you, and nothing can ever change that."

A humorless, short chuckle leaves her throat, her eyes not averting. "It will."

The words come out in a way so determined, she leaves me speechless. Words die in my mouth, even though I know I should once again insist that nothing will change. But her expression taunts me. Her expression tells me that what she's been through and what he did is so traumatizing and disgusting, that I'm doubting if I even want to know.

I once again swallow the salty taste away, forcing myself to focus on Jo instead of the nausea that rises to the service once more. "It won't," I'm finally able to insist. "Impossible."

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