Two days since my complete, and utter melt down in front of Nate.

Two days since I'd seen him, and met him.

And two days I'd spent reeling over my actions towards him.

This man had reimbursed feelings I didn't even think existed in me anymore, and had hit me right in my head, heart, and sex.

He irrevocably rocked my whole world. I used to say Robert did that, but now I'd say Nate has. Only Nate has made it better. Despite being cold towards him, and not giving him a chance, he's gave me hope of happiness.

I honestly never thought I could trust a man again, or feel attracted to one, but Nate has had the complete opposite on me.

I'm still scared to take a chance on him. Scared that my heart might break, or he just might turn into Robert. No matter what, I'll always feel that way until I get to know someone.

A part of me wishes I had just overcome my fears, and flirted with him in the coffee shop. Showed him how my body was reacting to his every word, and I definitely wished I hadn't reacted the way I did at the bar. I just know deep down that I can't be normal like that.

I wanted him to confront me in the bar. I wanted him to speak to me. Despite knowing what he would say, I wanted him to because I liked his attention. It hurts to know I can't ever have a normal relationship because of my damaged life.

I'd been sat thinking about all of this while I watched Hope on the park. The only thing she liked was the slide, so I sat back and let her play independently. My eyes never left her little frame, and despite all this thinking, I was focused solely on her. Some of the other parents were chatting away not even watching their children properly, and I could never do that. The thought of someone taking her, or hurting her, made my gut sicken. She was too precious, and important to take that risk.

It took me a while to notice the heavy body sat next to me on the bench. It wasn't until he spoke that I knew who it was. But I still didn't take my eyes off Hope. I couldn't. Besides, I don't think I could look him in the eyes after Saturday evening. I'm too embarrassed.

"I didn't know where I could find you at first"

He began.

"And then I thought about all the parks around here that you could possibly be at. There's three to be exact. So I looked for the one nearest to the coffee shop, and took my chances"

I still hadn't looked at him. His explanation helped ease my nerves, as I automatically worried he was following me because he was a stalker.

Another one of my fears from my past.

"You found me"

I didn't mean to sound negative, or nasty, but what else could I say?

No matter how much my body responded to him, and wanted him. No matter how much I wanted to let him give me company, flirt with him, and allow myself to fall for him, I couldn't.

My fears would only ruin us. Destroy us completely, and I wasn't about to corrupt an innocent person like I had been.

"I like you, Daisy"

I swallowed. I knew that, but I didn't expect him to say it.

My silence, and ignorance must of been frustrating him as he said, "are you not going to look at me at least?"

"No. I'm keeping my eyes on my daughter"

I saw him watch her from the corner of my eyes, and saw as he shifted to kneel in front of me.

"Your so beautiful"

He placed his hand on my cheek, and i trembled. Not because he scared me, but because his words ignited a flutter of butterflies inside me, and I was too afraid to indulge in them. To allow him to treat me so well.

The tears were falling before I felt them, and I felt him rub his thumb across them. He didn't say a word, he just watched as I fell apart under his touch.

"Tell me"

"No" I shook my head, and the words were barely a whisper. Did he really think I'd tell him like that? Tell him why I was sat crying after he called me beautiful? He was wrong. So wrong.

"Whatever I did to upset you, I'm sorry. Please let me take you for dinner. We don't have to be alone, a public place?"

His proposal meant he sensed the imbedded truth I was hiding.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to say no, but I couldn't say yes.

"Here's my number" he placed a tiny piece of paper in my hand, "call me if you want to go for dinner. We can even take Hope with us if you like?"

He let out a breath, and stood up.

"Just let me know, please. Bye Daisy"

I hadn't looked at him. Not once. Until now. I took my eyes off hope for one second to watch his muscly, huge frame walk away from me.

I was holding onto the piece of paper in my hand like it was my whole life. Like it was Hopes life. I kept it curled under my fist, as I thought about what to do.

I placed it in the pocket of my shoulder bag, and collected Hope from the slide.

"Let's go and see auntie Amanda shall we sweetie?"

"Yes mommy! Can we get ice cream too please?"

"Maybe baby girl, let's go see Amanda first"

"Okay mommy"

She tugged my hand, as I protected her tiny one, and we walked back to the car. I only hoped Amanda could talk some sense into me, and tell me I could date somebody again. Somebody as nice as Nate.

Once we arrived at Amanda's she tried to tempt me into a bottle of wine - not a glass, a bottle. As much as I'd love to drown my thoughts, and hide even more, I couldn't. One, I had to drive me and my daughter home as well as look after her; and two, I needed to face my thoughts. I couldn't keep running.

"So, he's asked you out for dinner, and gave you his number?"

"Yes. God the man even said I could bring Hope, Mandy"

I already knew my expression was a defeated, helpless look. How could I say no to that? The man cared so much he was willing to have my daughter with us on a date.

"Oh Daisy honey" she sighed, and shook her head smiling.

"Say yes."

"How can I know I won't get hurt"

"You don't" she shrugged.

"But I tell you now, that man cares about you. He doesn't know you and he cares"

She sighed, and looked away before saying the next bit.

"Honey, he's not Robert. Not all men are the same, and I hate to bring this up to you with it being so raw, but something tells me he's going to treat you how you should be treated"

"I want to say yes." I gulped and looked down from her gaze.

"I want to explore the way he makes me feel when I'm next to him. I want to let him take care of me, and protect me, and love me. I sound obsessive" I scoffed at the last part.

"You don't, you sound like a normal person with a crush. Take the chance sweetie please."

And on that I took the number out my bag, and made my decision