"Your memory feels like home to me. So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it's way back to you." - Ranata Suzuki

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Silas's POV

I wake up to find my head on the crook of Caden's arms. I don't know how to react to last night. I've never done that to anyone, not even when my parents died.

To say that I'm slightly embarrassed would be an understatement, but God, I don't want to lose her. I can't. It will wreck me.

When I finally pry myself off her after five minutes of savoring her warmth, I notice streaks of dried tears on her cheeks.

Was she crying?

I didn't notice. All I remember last night was her soft-spoken words and the amazing feeling of her fingers raking through my hair.

God, I'm such an asshole. Here she is in the fucking hospital and I wasn't there for her when she broke down. I was the one to. What the fuck is wrong with me?

It's no fucking shit that I am a selfish fuck. I wasn't always but my life got worse when I lost my parents. I mean, my brothers were there, but with the weight of the company on my shoulders, it felt like I had to upstand there expectations of me as well as my own.

I didn't have time to have a life when I was too busy focusing on everything else that people expected from me: my parents, my brothers, the press. Those five years were absolute hell, especially with the reputation that my parents made, but I did it. We did it.

Sage and Sawyer are annoying fucks but we fucking did it. I guess through that, I lost how to be a fucking decent human.

I hated how I treated Caden. I know what the fuck I was doing and I still fucking did it. I don't know what about her made me treat her so badly. Her manners, her voice, the way she carried herself just confused me. Why the fuck was she always so fucking happy when life is fucking shit?

But now... now she's the reason I get up in the morning. I can't do shit without her, and I can't lose her. I was always puzzled by how happy my parents were with each other, but now I know, and I will do everything in my power to keep her.

Beside me, I feel a stir. Caden's eyes peak open, and when she notices me, she doesn't smile. Actually, she doesn't do anything; she just stares.

"Hi, baby, are you okay?" I ask her. From now on, I will be by her side every step she's recovering, whether she likes it or not.

"I'm okay." She looks to the door and then back at me. "You should probably get to work, it's already nine." I immediately shake my head. I am not leaving her. Not anymore.

"No, I am staying here. I want to be here." Her face falls a bit and she opens her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. "I won't leave you, I promise. Look, I know I haven't been the best boyfriend, I know. But I'm trying. This is all new to me. This relationship stuff. Just give me a chance, I promise I won't let you down again."

Her face forms a small smile, and she nods her head with understanding. "Okay." Before she can say anything else, a nurse steps inside.

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Caden's POV

Silas stayed true to his word. All day, he's helped me, from going to the bathroom, to getting my IV replaced, even to eat my chocolate pudding. Seriously, I've never seen a man this attentive when opening a container of pudding before.

As much as I admire him for caring for me and being there for me, all of this is just... it's too much. I've never really had anyone when I was in pain.

I usually always saved my tears for when I was alone, in my room, usually after Cole's beatings. And right now, all I want to do is cry. I want to cry and sleep and cry some more. But I can't with Silas being here. On more than one occasion, I allowed my smile to fall when he was looking away to let my facial muscles rest.

Not that I'm saying my smiles are fake because truly, I really do appreciate what Silas is doing. I just, for the love of God, can't help but wish he would channel in the workaholic in him to go to Sanders Corp so that I can have a little but of privacy.

But I can't do that. Not when I know he's trying. He's trying to be good for me, and I know if I told him I wanted him to leave, he would think I didn't want him anymore.

That couldn't be further from the truth. I do want him. I want all of him. I want his pain and his happiness and his cuddles that he loves to give. I want all of it. But I just can't right now. And, and I just don't think he'll understand that.

I know he would disagree with me on this, but I'm trying to be strong so that he knows I won't leave him. I'll never leave him. He's one of the best things that's happened to me.

"Do you need anything else? I can get you another blanket if you're cold. Are your pillows good or are they flat now? Maybe I'll ask for more." Silas looks at me like an innocent dog, and I smile. "I'm perfect right now." He smiles at that.

"Maybe you should go home and change. You've been here stuck in those clothes for more than 18 hours." Silas looks down at his suit that he's worn since the dinner. I think he notices that too because he looks at me again, regret washing his face.

He bends down and takes my hand. "Caden, I am so, so sorry for what I did last night. I am so sorry. I shouldn't've have done it. I was upset and jealous and pissed and I took it out on you. I should've respected you. I'll never make the same mistake again, I promise." His eyes tear up slightly, which makes me heart burst.

I cup his face, bring it to me and placing a soft kiss on his lips. "It's okay." His face remains sad, as if he doesn't believe me. So I kiss him again. I kiss his lips, then his cheeks, then his neck, until my lips have marked him everywhere. He's mine.

"It's okay." He smiles and I smile and now we probably look like two idiots smiling at each other.

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By 9 o'clock, I'm exhausted. My body has gone fatigued and the pain medication is wearing off. As much as I hate the hospital, I don't want to leave. Because I know when I do, I'll be interrogated by the police and I'd have to tell them what happened.

Don't get me wrong, I hate Cole and all that he's done to me, but I still fear that ache in my heart, knowing that I'll be saying goodbye to the last person in my life that I can call family. It's just hard.

Silas walks through the door after having a meeting with his brothers in the hall. Shortly after, Sawyer and Sage walk in as well. Sawyer smiles at me an gives m a big hug from my bed. "Hey, Caden. How are you feeling?"

I nod tiredly. "Good, just weak."

"Well you better get better quick. Nathan and I miss you." He gives me a wink that Silas and Sage don't notice and I smirk back at him. Interesting.

Next, Sage comes to the side of my bed, and hands me a teddy bear along with flowers. I look at him confused before accepting them. He doesn't say a word, just walks back to where Silas is standing.

In my periphery, I can see Silas looking at him like "Dude, what the fuck? She's not dying." Sage innocently looks back at him.

The brothers stay for another thirty minutes, mostly talking about work and occasionally, Silas slaps Sawyer and Sage behind the head for apparently being stupid.

I just lay there quietly. I have no energy to say anything, and to be honest, I just want them to leave so that I can cry and sleep in peace.

When Sage and Sawyer finally walk out of the door, I expect Silas to go with them. He doesn't. He says goodnight to them, turns around and lays with me in bed.

Crap.

I finally just say it. I say it as nicely as possible. Like super nice. "Hey, Silas, you should sleep at home. This bed is really uncomfortable." He immediately shakes his head. "Nope, I'm staying right here with you."

"C'mon, I know your bed is WAY more comfortable. Plus, this one is too small." Still, he shakes his head. Man, this man is stubborn. "No, Caden, I told you, I am not leaving your side."

My face falls and I can tell he notices. "What, you don't want me here with you?" Please go well, please go well. "No, it's not that. I just- I mean you've been here all day, I know you're tired and the last thing you need is a clumpy hospital bed-"

"Caden, I know when you're lying. You don't want me here. I can tell." His face immediately goes hard and the walls rise in his eyes. "I spent my entire day here for you just for you tell kick me out. What the fuck, Caden!" He glares at me although I can tell he's stopping himself from yelling at me.

"I just need space, that's all." I try to reassure him by touching his arm, but he moves away. Actually, he gets completely off the bed and faces away from me. "I still want you, I promise. I told you I wasn't leaving you."

"Yeah, well, why do you want me gone? That sounds like leaving me." I open my mouth to say something but he doesn't let me. "You know what? Fine. I'm gone. I shouldn't have wasted my time here." And he's out the door.

I stare back at it, hoping he'll come back.

I shouldn't've told him that. I should've just let him stay. Why didn't I?

I know he hasn't had a relationship before, but it still shouldn't warrant that reaction. I so desperately want to know what made him become so guarded and defensive. Because as much as I hate to say this, I can't be with him if he's going to shut me out every time he doesn't get his way.

I know he said he wouldn't do it anymore, but those are just words. I need actions and what I got was him storming out again. Leaving me. I can't do it again. I won't tolerate it. I need to talk to him. To tell him this. But I'm afraid he'll he do it again. Storm out.

I contemplate this the whole night.

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