"Why are my hands so sweaty?

Why did my mom let me.

Dress like this, and bring these flowers, God she's going to reject me.

Jesus, please help me.

You got this, bro, be steady.

When she says yes, hug her, and tell her to be ready.

You'll pick her up at eight.

Take her on a date.

One that'll her blow her away, she'll say it's fate.

You got this buddy, don't be nervous.

Give her those roses and tell her she's gorgeous.

And when her beautiful eyes fall on your face.

Ask her, "Would you like to go on a date?"

- me

+++

Caden's POV

"Silas?"

"Yes?"

Silas snakes his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him. He carefully avoids the center of my back, keeping his hands near my waistline, which makes my heart soar at his consideration.

I'm not sure if he bought my whole coverup about my back. I have never been the best at lying and I can tell that he doesn't fully believe me.

I wish he did. I don't know what I would do if he ever found out about Cole. I still feel this invisible pull that is making me hold back on telling anyone about Cole.

"There was a woman at the ball," I begin. The thought of someone else with Silas puts a bitter taste in my mouth, but I would hate myself knowing that I am getting all cuddly with someone else's man. "Are you guys in a relationship or something?"

His lips quirk up in a smirk. God, I hate that smirk. I want to slap it off his face.

"Why? Are you jealous?" he asks teasingly. He gives my waist another tight squeeze which erupts a million butterflies in my stomach.

"Well, no... maybe. I don't know, can you just answer the freaking question!?" I slap him in the chest but he doesn't even flinch.

"No, we are not in a relationship," he reassures me. I smile gratefully. Thank Jesus.

He smiles back and for a long minute, we just admire each other.

Jesus, we sound like love-struck teenagers.

But then his smiles falls. His eyes roam around to anywhere but my face and I feel his grip on me loosen.

"What's wrong?" I ask softly. He doesn't reply. He just pushes me away softly and rakes his hand over his hair. He paces back and forth from the kitchen.

I've never seen him like this. So nervous, and vulnerable, and scared.

Is he scared?

I've never seen Silas afraid of anything, but from the looks of it...

"Silas, what's wrong?" I raise my voice, hopefully snapping him out of my thoughts.

Thankfully, it works.

"Nothing," he mumbles. He refuses to look me in the eye and that is getting on my nerves.

"It's not nothing. You're upset. Why are you upset?"

I try to grab his bicep but he pulls away from me.

He can't do this. I refuse to let him push me away again.

"Silas, what's wrong? I could help you. Let me help you."

But no, he tries to escape through his stairs but I scurry in front if him, stopping him in his tracks.

He's like a foot taller than me so I have to crane my neck up to get a good view on him. "You can't leave me hanging like that. You can't just get upset and not tell me. I want to know. I want to know what you're feeling. But you have to let me. What's the point in me forgiving you if you won't be honest with me and push me away?"

He lets out a deep sigh and I notice so much anguish in his ocean blue eyes that it makes my heart hurt. "That's the point. Why did you forgive me? You shouldn't have. I was awful to you. How do you know I won't do some dumb shit again and you end up leaving for good. I can't trust myself."

He tries to look away from me but I plant my hands on the sides of his cheeks. "Listen, I won't leave you. I will never leave you, okay? Maybe if you do something really stupid, I might ponder the thought, but you will always have me to talk or laugh or annoy because God knows you love doing that. I'll be here no matter what."

He shakes his head again and I just want to wring his neck.

Freaking believe me, you oaf!

"You can't promise that, Wilson. You don't know me. We've known each other less than two months, you don't know me. I'm stupid, and stubborn, and angry. I'm angry. All the time. The only time that I'm not angry is when I'm with you. But if you leave me, then I'll just go back to being alone."

"That's not true." I force his wondering eyes towards me again. "You have your brothers."

"Yeah, those dumbasses can't do shit for themselves. What I mean is, I don't have anyone to do this type of shit with. To talk and stuff. I never had that with anyone. What if I mess it up with you." His whisper fans my face and I smell his god awful breath. "I don't want to fuck this up, but I'm a dumbass. I fuck everything up."

"Listen to me. You're right. I don't know you. And you don't know me. But I want to get to know you. I want to talk to you. And listen to you. You don't need to be afraid if you mess up because I'll mess up, too. And that's fine."

There's a long pause. "Besides, you pay my bills. I ain't gonna leave any time soon."

He lets out a snort and a small smile graces his beautiful face.

I slowly start to remove my hands from his face because my arms are starting to get tired but he stops me, placing his hands atop mine, keeping them in place. "But if this is going to work, you need to talk to me. Be honest with me. I can't be with someone who is going to hide things from me."

He lets out a small chuckle. "God, you're perfect."

"I know."

He laughs again. He grabs my hands and places it onto his waist while his cup my cheeks. He pulls me into a soft, tender kiss; one I could just drown in for the rest of my life.

"Okay, deal," he says. "From now on, we'll be honest with each other. And talk and listen."

I smile at that. "Deal." I bring my hands out for him to shake but he just laughs, bring my lips to his again. "We are never going to shake hands," he mumbles into our kiss.

"Brush your teeth."

+++

Silas's POV

I'm nervous.

So damn nervous.

Why the hell am I so nervous?

I am gripping the azaleas so tight, I think I may have broken their stems. But I don't care because my mind is still reoccupied on the fact that I am so fucking nervous.

She better not reject me.

Not that I'd force her to go on a date with me but still, like I will throw a fit if I hear anything other than a 'yes.'

I got the azaleas from Sawyer.

He said her favorite flower were azaleas. I don't know how the hell he knows that shit, and the fact that he does and I don't leaves me slightly bitter.

But then I replay her words from this morning. Those beautiful fucking words that made my heart clench with happiness.

I want to do so many things with her.

I want to talk to her, get to know her, learn weird facts about her, annoy the hell out of her, get her to talk some shit she likes just so I can see the way her eyes brighten while she speaks.

I want to do so many things.

But the first on the agenda is asking her out on a date.

Yes, I am asking her out on a date.

When was the last time I've been on a date.

Fucking years. I was so wrapped up around the company, I barely had a life outside of the office.

I can't fuck this up. I mean, I don't usually screw stuff up, but with her.. God, it's like I'm a different person around her.

I'm nervous, and anxious, and terrified as hell.

Jesus, liking someone is exhausting as hell.

But she's perfect. Like too perfect. For me at least. She deserves someone better than me, I know it. I can guarantee that I'll fuck things between us. I always do. I mean not with business shit but relationships and feelings... Yeah, that is not my forte.

And it's not like I'm a complete robot and never had feelings for someone before. The last woman I could remember was freshmen year, 14 years old, the most beautiful girl in school asked me out.

I was nervous as hell, and I hadn't yet hit my growth spurt or anything really. Yeah, I was ugly as shit.

When it was time for my date, my armpits were soaked in sweat, my heart was beating like crazy and I think I was hyperventilating.

I made it all the way to her front door when I just couldn't do it. I bolted out of her front porch and met my mom in her car, stopping her from leaving me stranded after dropping me off.

I was close to crying; my breathing was ragged, my hands were shaking, and my head was pounding.

But my mom; she calmed me down.

Told me to relax, to take deep breaths, and to shake the nerves away.

She gave me a kiss on my cheek, smoothed out my hair, and said "You'll be fine, Si. You know, when your father met me, he was as nervous as you. But when I saw him, all I saw was the boy who wanted to impress me so bad that he wet his pants. Yes, he wet his pants! But I didn't care. Because he was sweet and kind and amazing. So if this girl looks at you and sees your nerves as some sort of weakness, she is not the girl for you, okay. You got this, baby, I believe in you."

She gave me one last kiss on my head before I finally mustered up the courage to ring the doorbell.

When the door opened, I was met with almost all the "popular" kids in the living room, their phones out as the girl in front of me said, "You actually thought I'd go out with you? What a loser." She shut the door in my face and left me stranded.

I was humiliated, sad, ashamed... and angry. I felt angry because who the fuck does that shit? My 14-year old brain was too naïve to know that bitches like her existed.

But after replaying my mother's words in my head, I decided she wasn't worth my thoughts. But she was worth my energy.

The next week, I got a gym membership, tried out for a few sports in the next semester, and grew out my hair.

When she noticed my dramatic change, that bitch begged me to go out with her again.

Asked me constantly, tried to sit on my lap during lunch, even went to my house to try to talk to my mom.

At first, I was contemplating accepting her offer just to give her some karma on what she did to me, but thought better of it.

My mom's face popped into my head and I just thought of what she would think if I ever stooped that low.

Throughout the rest of high school, I was the mysterious, hot kid that all the girls wanted and all the guys envied.

I didn't relish in it because frankly, I didn't care.

High school was a bunch of bullshit that taught me absolutely nothing.

But, now, sitting outside the door of the woman who had made me feel so much in such little time makes me rehash all those buried emotions that ran through my brain as a teenager.

Jesus, I'm comparing myself to a nervous teenager. Fuck.

It's the weekend. She should be home. I checked in on Izzie and asked her if she had any plans with her and she said no. She should be home.

If she's not home, then this is going to become even more embarrassing.

I ring the doorbell.

I can practically hear the heartbeats in my chest and this woman is taking so damn long to answer.

After what felt like a lifetime, which was probably just two minutes, I rung it again.

No fucking answer.

What the fuck?

Going around the apartment complex, I look through the windows to see any form of life but my vision is obscured by her dirty ass blinds.

Going to her front door again, I ring the doorbell a third time.

Still no response.

Maybe she did have plans.

I'll come back tomorrow.

+++

Caden's POV

Everything hurts.

My back, my arms, my face.

Everything.

I had just gotten home from work and I was about to relish in the sweet feeling of having the weekend off when Cole met my face.

He was in a grumpier mood than usual and I had no idea why.

We never talk, we never look at each other, I'm never even in the same room as him for more than a few hours.

But today, something or someone made him mad and he just lashed out on me.

I tried to ask him what was wrong but he just kept rambling. "You're so fucking annoying, you know that?! God, why did I have to have such an annoying-ass sister!"

He rambled on and on.

I don't know what he has to be so upset about. With my new income, he has beer on the daily, and he literally does nothing other than sit on the couch. Seriously, it's like my pure existence just angers him.

"Fuck you and fuck your little job. You have a stick so far up your ass because you're working for some rich dudes that probably just want to get into your pants. Well fuck them too."

And before I knew it, he had the belt in his hand and struck me straight across my face.

I tried to fight back. I tried to do something. But that blow hit me hard and I could barely get off the ground.

Soon, I felt tears sliding down my cheeks but not from the pain or from Cole.

I just felt utterly pathetic.

I had promised myself that I would fight back. That I would gain the respect I deserved.

Well, look how that turned out. I'm just a pathetic loser who can't even stand up to her own brother.

I silently cried as he struck me over and over again. And like always, he got tired and stalked off, probably taking a nap on the couch.

I don't know how long I was unconscious for but I vividly remember the door bell being rung a few times. Cole ignored it.

So right now, I am in the shower, trying to wash away my pity and pain.

I was sprawled on my side, giving Cole every angle to my body. My back, face, arms, legs, everywhere.

And now everything hurts.

I'm not sure how long I can take this.

I want to leave.

I want to fight back.

But I can't.

I slide down the shower, burying myself in an even bigger pity party.

Would you guys like to join?

My anguish was even able to squander any joy I felt about Silas.

Silas.

God, I miss him.

At this very moment, all I want to do is bury myself in his sheets again and savor his intoxicating scent.

He makes me feel safe. Secure.

I know he thinks that he's this horrible person but that's not true. He's a good person that has done horrible things, but that doesn't make him horrible.

He's saved me so many time in the little time I've known him, it's almost incredible there's not a romance novel written about us.

Uh.. not that we're in love or anything. I mean, I like him. At least, I think I do. You know what, we're going to switch the topic.

I miss him so much.

I crawl my way to my bedroom and dream about him wrapping his arms around me and whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

Or annoying me. God knows he loves to annoy me.

+++

We're at a park.

Actually no, I'm at a park and Silas is in his car, driving on the side of the road.

Yes, he is driving on the side of the road because he refuses to walk on the sidewalk with me.

Why, you may ask?

Oh, because a few years ago, he had went to a park and stepped on dog shart and ever since then, he has sworn himself away from the park.

But I made him. You would think someone as big and hot-headed as Silas would have the power here but nope. I just have to pout and bat one eyelash, and the power's all mine.

So yeah. I am walking on the sidewalk while his unusually large Tesla drives beside.

It's weird. And people keep staring.

We don't even talk so all I hear is my light footsteps and the friction between his tires and the paved roads.

"Silas, just get out." He doesn't respond. Just shakes his head and continues to drive.

"You know, if you're not going to walk beside me, I might as well just go home." His face falls.

Gotcha.

"Fucking fine," he mumbles under his breath.

He soon parks his car and steps out cautiously, training his eyes intensely on the ground below him.

"Will you relax, there is literally no poop in sight."

"Whatever."

We walk for a few more minutes and I just savor the warm feeling in my stomach. Not only that, but Silas smells really freaking good that sometimes, I just focus on my breathing, inhaling his scent.

Jesus, I sound creepy.

"Wilson-"

"Why do you still address me by my last name?" I question.

I mean, I understand in the workplace and before, when he hated me, but our relationship... our relationship is different now.

"Are we still in a last name basis." He smirks at that, an evil glint in his eyes.

"Okay, what would me to call you?"

"I don't know, how about my first name?" He shakes his head.

"No."

"You're impossible."

He laughs, curling his hand around my waist. "I have a question to ask you."

"Shoot." I barely muster out the word since his scent and his hands are starting to make me light headed.

"Do you have plans this Saturday?"

"Nope." Well, I definitely won't be in my apartment, that's for sure.

It seems like every little thing could set Cole off, even just my presence around him.

I'm not sure why though. Before this, yeah he hated me, but he wouldn't hit me as hard and as bad as he's been doing now.

And it's confusing because now I have a stable job. Now, money isn't a problem. Why is he still so angry?

"Well, now you do."

It's as if seeing me struggle makes him satisfied. Like he has the power and I'm just his weak baby sister.

And he had that when we were broke.

But not anymore. And he hates it.

And I hate that I'm being punished for his bruised ego. I hate it.

"Wilson, are you even listening?"

I snap out of my thoughts when I hear Silas's voice. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing," I say too quickly.

"Mhm."

He eyes me suspiciously before saying, "I was saying that you now have plans this Saturday."

"With you?"

"Yes."

"Oh," I say disappointedly.

He looks slightly shocked. "Okay fine, I'll just ask out a beautiful girl that's not you." I let out a small giggle. Jesus, he's so petty.

"Yep, sorry, I actually have a date."

"I thought you said you didn't have any plans."

I give him a wicked smile. "On Saturday. Not on Sunday."

"With who?" I notice his eyes have turned a dark shade of blue and his mouth twists in a scowl.

"Philip."

His eyes widen in anger, and I am slightly scared he will start throwing punches at him again. "Philip. Philip Nguyen?"

I nod my confidently.

His mouth opens to say something but before I can give him a chance, I bolt out of his side.

I know he will be able to catch up to me; I'm like half his size.

I cut through the grass and make my way to the playground.

I sprint as far as my slow legs can take me before Silas grabs me my waist and propels me into the air.

I laugh when I feel how angry he is. He doesn't let go of me. In fact, his grip actually tightens, slightly crushing my ribs.