A/N: Hello Lovelies! I am up at the ass crack of dawn for a Father's Day party at my in-laws. There's going to be millions of people there (ok maybe not quite) so this means I'll be giving my husband the baby and hiding somewhere with wine to write. Hopefully my sanity doesn't slip too far. Enjoy xxx

I managed to sneak out this morning without seeing Isaak. I know I'm going to have to face him next time he sees Isla, but I just needed to figure out how to deal with that kiss. It felt amazing and it reminded me of the sparks and passion the night we slept together, but I can't let anything happen again. What if things went south? I don't want the friendship we finally have to be ruined and risk affecting Isla's relationship with me and her dad. I wish I could blame the kiss on being drunk, but even though I'd had a couple of drinks, I still knew what I was doing.

"So did you have fun with Natalie last night?" Tom asks as he sits across the table from me.

"I did, although what was meant to be a couple of drinks with Nat ended up being a huge surprise party." I smile

"Oh, well I'm sorry I couldn't come but I had an early meeting this morning." He replies

"No it's fine, this is great." I reply. Why couldn't I feel that spark when I kiss Tom? Tom is everything I want in a guy, he's reliable, he has a good job, he's normal, but he's boring. If he had been at Scars last night he wouldn't have been dancing and he definitely wouldn't have liked the hip hop played especially for me.

It's only our fifth date and he is a nice guy, so maybe I should give it more time and hopefully the spark will come.

"You ready to get out of here?" He smiles as he finishes paying the check. I smile and nod as I stand from my seat, he tried to follow me into my apartment after our third date and again on our last date. I told him I want to take it slow after having Isla but he doesn't seem to be getting the hint. He wraps his arm around my waist again, but I just let it go as he guides me to his car and opens the passenger door for me.

"Thank you for tonight, I'll call you." I smile as I stand by the front door to my building. He wraps his arms around my waist as he pulls me closer and then his lips are on mine. There's definitely no fire, no spark, but maybe I'm just nervous. I'm comfortable around Isaak now, where as Tom is still new. The kiss ends and I step back as I turn to open the front door

"Maybe I could come up, for a night cap?" He asks but I shake my head

"Sorry, Isla is up there with Natalie, maybe another time." I reply and make my way through the door before he can answer.

"You look like you need a glass of wine." Nat says as I lean back against the door to my apartment.

"Definitely." I groan as I dump my purse on the kitchen counter

"How was Isla?" I ask looking towards the bedroom

"She was fine, we shared a bottle of vodka and she passed right out." Nat replies as she pours the wine

"Now come and tell Auntie Nat all your troubles." She says as we walk over to the couch

"Why is life so complicated?" I pout

"So Tom is a dud huh?" Nat smirks

"But he's a nice guy, he has a career and he's a normal guy, why don't I feel it?"

"So basically he's the opposite of Ice?" She asks

"Ice doesn't have anything to do with me dating Tom. I just need to give it some more time and get to know Tom better, maybe once I feel more comfortable with him it'll get better." I groan

"Well you know what I would do." She giggles and I roll my eyes

"I'm not going to sleep with him, even though he keeps trying to invite himself up here after our dates." I reply

"Bet you miss hair sniffer now." Nat says wiggling her eyebrows and we both laugh

"There's something else, but don't judge." I sigh

"Come on, I'm your bestie I won't judge." Nat smirks

"After my birthday party, when I got back to the clubhouse with Isaak, he took me to his room to give me this." I say lifting the chain around my neck

"Aww that's so cute, why would I judge?" Nat asks

"Because after he gave me this, we kissed." Natalie bursts out laughing

"I said don't judge." I scold

"I'm sorry but I told you you need to fuck him already, if you can't see the chemistry between you two then you are blind." Natalie says as she refills our glasses

"But nothing can ever happen, it's taken six months to finally be friends and I can't risk ruining that for Isla. What if we dated and then there was a messy break up? I don't want Isla to grow up watching me and Isaak fight, I want her to see us like we are now, friends."

"Yeah but what if Isla's mom and dad and meant to be together." Nat says and I nearly choke on my wine

"No chance of that happening, I told you what the girls at the clubhouse said about him. He sleeps with anything with breasts, so many girls he doesn't even remember sleeping with me. Isaak would never settle down." I reply

"Yeah but you told me the girls also said he hasn't been sleeping around since he found out about Isla. He's changed so much over the last six months, maybe he would settle down." Nat says

"Well I don't want to risk it, Isla has to come first. I won't let anything happen in case it ends badly, better to leave it as it is than take the chance. Plus I'm seeing Tom." I reply

"Oh come on, Tom is a boring dud, it won't fizzle out because there's no fire in the first place." Nat says rolling her eyes.

"I think I'm just nervous, I mean look at my dating history. My first boyfriend was douchebag, he was my first and I thought he was my last, then he broke my heart by cheating on me. Then I have one night with Isaak and end up pregnant. I think I'm just nervous about being with a guy again. I bet if I could just relax being with Tom would feel good." I explain.