***********************

My nerves were completely and utterly shot as I stared into the floor length mirror. I should've been panicking. But I'd been through so many emotions in the last week. It was as if I'd simply... Run out.

I felt strangely calm, as if it were any other night. It didn't feel like I was about to be the victim of a very powerful, very painful, very life changing public rune removal ritual. Perhaps it was a good thing that I didn't feel afraid. Though, it was unnerving... To feel nothing.

I wore a long, flowing, silk white gown. The only part of the dress that wasn't white was a beautiful, intricate design in the midsection, made of silver beads. My make up was done beautifully, my lips stained a deep red. The lack of color in my appearance seemed to mirror my mindset.

I had not seen Dristan since he left the public lashing with Andromeda in his arms. He was probably still with her, as well as Torryn, in the infirmary. I sent a prayer up to the gods that they were both recovering swiftly.

And Dristan... I prayed that he, too, was okay.

A familiar, loud whoosing sound startled me out of my day dreaming, and I immediately ran from the bedroom, through the living room, and into the kitchen.

Dristan stood in the doorway of the balcony, his wings tucked in tightly, his hair a wild array of dark tufts around his horns. His eyes met mine, the deep, cerulean orbs swimming with tension and anxiety.

As we stared at each other as if we were both carved from stone... And for the first time since the whipping, I felt something stir inside of me.

He moved at the same time that I did. He stalked through the open room, his eyes never leaving mine, as I ran toward him. He opened his arms and I launched myself into his embrace.

His earth and pine needle scent filled my senses. The warm strength of his arms wrapped around me, holding me to him, as he buried his face in my hair and inhaled. I closed my eyes, my cheek pressed against his chest, and cherished the sound of his heart beating within him.

"Brenya...." He sighed in relief.

The deep sound of his voice reverberated through his chest, making it sound deeper than it was, and I smiled against him.

This was my comfort. He was my comfort. He was my relief, when all else was lost. He was my home.

"I missed you." I said, pulling back and looking up into his dear face. "Are you alright?"

He gazed down at me fondly.

He looked exhausted.

"I'm better now." He said gently, lifting his hand and brushing his thumb over my cheek.

"How are they?" I asked, trying not to let him distract me.

His face fell. "They are... Quite well, actually. They were treated for their wounds and healed very quickly. They left the infirmary only a few hours after they arrived."

I furrowed my brows at him. "You don't sound very pleased about that."

He sighed though his nose. "I am pleased that they are healed... Of course... But..."

My eyes alternated between his own. "But... What?"

He was silent for a moment as his weary eyes trailed over the details of my face.

"I envy them." He whispered at last.

My chest ached. I closed my eyes, trying to keep my emotions at bay. Of course he envied them. I did, too... They were like us, in a way. Secretly in love, all that time... But they had something that we would never have. They got their happy ending. They were mates. They got to have each other, despite all of the odds being against them. And we would never have that.

"So do I..." I said softly, my voice breaking a bit.

He pulled me against him again, his hands trailing up and down my back in sure, strong strokes. I sighed deeply at the comforting sensation.

"Are you feeling nervous?" He asked after a few moments, changing the depressing subject.

"I know I should be... But I'm not.. Not really... I'm ready." I answered.

His arms tightened around me. "You can still change your mind, and do this privately. You don't have to do this in front of everyone."

I shook my head against his chest. "No. They need to see it. And I need them to watch. If I am going to change... Become whatever it is that I am... It won't only change me. It'll change all of our lives. It'll be the beginning of our best chance in this war... And I need them, just as much as they need me. I don't want to go through it alone..."

"Hey..." He said, pulling me from him. He gripped my shoulders tightly and stared down into my eyes. His brows furrowed, the deep V between them popping out.

"I have told you this before, and I will tell you a thousand more times, Brenya. You are not alone. You will never be alone. The people... And me... Will always be by your side."

I smiled weakly up at him. "I know."

"You are going to do just fine. You are the strongest, most intelligent, most stubborn woman I've ever met. And I know that you will do great things."

My smiled widened. "And with such an impossible, perfect, grouchy, overgrown lizard at my side, I won't be so afraid ."

He chuckled softly. And then his smile fell. My smile fell along with his as I realized the mistake in my choice of words. For it wasn't Dristan, who would be at my side. It would be Ronan.

I slid my hands up his chest, his shoulders, his neck, and entangled my fingers into his dark hair. His hands left my shoulders, sliding down my sides, and resting at my hips, as we stared at each other sadly.

"It will always be you." I whispered.

I watched as his slitted pupils dilated a fraction. His grip tightened at my waist as his eyes trailed down my face and landed on my lips.

"I love you, Dristan." I added softly.

And then his lips were on mine.

He pulled my hips against his own as his tongue swept across my lower lip. I parted my mouth wider, meeting the heat of his tongue with my own, as his hands traveled over my lower back and then gripped the soft flesh of my backside.

His tongue nudged mine gently, a different sensation than his usual desperate force. The kiss was much slower, much more soft than usual. It was as if I could feel his love poring out of him...

I gasped in surprise as he lifted me up and set me on top of the kitchen island, as he'd done once before. I wrapped my legs around him and moaned as I felt his stiff member pressing against my core through our clothing.

"The things you make me feel, Brenya...." He murmured against my mouth.

His hand snaked up my back and knotted into the loose hair at the nape of my neck while his other hand trailed up my belly. He sucked my lower lip into his mouth and gently held it between his teeth. At the same time, his hand wrapped around my breast. He pressed his palm against me, moving his hand in a soft, slow circle, as he kneaded the sensitive mound of flesh.

I writhed my hips against his hard member and he hissed, biting down harder on my lip. I winced in response, causing him to immediately release my lip and sweep his tongue over the swollen bite mark.

He was driving me mad. I ground my hips against him again and he groaned deeply. "Please, let me touch you... Let me feel you..." I begged.

He opened his eyes, staring warily into my own, as we shared breath. His expression was heated, longing and yet hesitant.

"Please..." I whispered, rolling my hips against him a third time. Warm liquid pooled between my legs. "Let me please you... I need to show you how you make me feel..."

His pupils dilated as his nostrils flared, scenting my arousal. A deep growl crept up his throat as he stared at me, his wings flaring slightly behind him.

He wasn't saying no....

I reached down between our hips, pressing my palm against the swollen bulge of his cock. A soft sound escaped my lips, something between a gasp and a moan, as I felt the staggering length of him.

He growled again, flexing his hips, pushing himself further into my hand. The sound excited me and I fumbled for the zipper of his pants, desperate to see him, to feel him without the barrier of his clothing.

But he was too fast.

I squealed in surprise as he scooped me up, capturing my lips with his own. He carried me into the living room and dropped me in a heap onto the couch.

"Dristan!" I complained. He stood above me, his wings flared widely now, behind his back.

"Be still." He said with lethal calm, his eyes blazing down at me. I clamped my lips shut as I gazed up at him, unsure what to expect next.

He reached for the button at the top of his pants and flicked it open with his thumb. I felt my eyes widening as his fingers moved to his zipper. His eyes never left mine as he pulled it down.

He slid his pants and briefs down over his hips and my mouth opened in shock.

His cock sprung free, every glorious inch of him standing tall and proud, as he stared down at me with darkening eyes. He wrapped his large hand around the thick base of his shaft. It didn't even cover a fourth of the length of him.

"Is this what you want?" He asked, his voice husky.

I gaped at him, lost for words. Even once I was Fae, I was not sure how he was going to fit that inside of me. But damn it all, if I wouldn't try.

I moved forward, sliding to the edge of the sofa, as I stared up into his eyes. His pupils dialated further, nearly blown completely black, as my hands slowly slid up his thighs.

I lowered my gaze as he moved his hand away, revealing all of himself to me. Eager, nervous and curious, I wrapped both of my hands around him. He snarled softly at the contact and I inhaled sharply, amazed at the feel of him in my hands.

He was like solid rock, wrapped in soft, warm velvet. I squeezed him gently and rotated my wrists a bit as I stroked my hands up, and then back down the length of him, just once.

He hissed, and I glanced up to find his head tilted back, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. A thrill went though my body.

For the first time since we'd met... I was in charge. I was in control of him, now. And it was the most powerful, intimidating, exciting feeling I'd ever experienced in my life.

I pumped my hands up and down his shaft again, more firmly this time, and a small bead of liquid appeared at the tip of him. My mouth watered as I wondered what he tasted like.

Without a moment of thought or hesitation, I leaned forward and ran the length of my tongue over the wide head of his cock. He tasted sweet, with a subtle hint of saltiness, and I moaned in pleasure at the sensual flavor.

"Fuck!" He gasped, pulling his hips away slightly.

You're not going anywhere. I am in control, now.

I tightened my hands around him and scooted off of the couch, kneeling on my knees in front of him. I glanced up at him as I moved closer and found him staring down at me, his eyes wide and burning like two pits of smoldering coals.

I kept my eyes on his as I flicked my tongue out a second time, barely grazing the tip of his cock. He growled and bared his teeth, his fangs glistening in the dim light.

And then I unleashed myself upon him.

I moved my hands to the base of his shaft and wrapped my lips around him, swirling my tongue around the smooth head of his manhood. I sheathed my teeth behind my lips and took him further into my mouth, pressing my hands back, toward his hips.

He groaned in pleasure as the heat of my tongue writhed against him, over and over again.

I took as much of him into my mouth as I could, moving my tongue side to side underneath his member, and then moved back again, pulling my hands with me. The slickness of my saliva coated my hands, making it easier to move them up and down his shaft, as I pumped my mouth up and down him.

His hands entangled into my hair as I pleasured him, and he began to move his hips in time with my movements. His growling snarls of satisfaction became more intense as I picked up the pace, worshiping him with my mouth.

I lifted my gaze, desperate to see his face. His eyes were on me, wanton and animalistic, as he watched me work him.

"Fucking hell..." He gasped as I clamped my lips around him even more tightly.

I did not break eye contact as I swirled my tongue around the head of him, took him into the back of my throat, and repeated the process. Each time I pulled back, I swirled my tongue around the wide, flat surface, before plunging him back into my throat again.

My jaw began to ache, widened and stretched to the limit with the width of him, but I didn't care. Up and down I went, praising his manhood in the only way he would let me, working him in the most intimate of ways. I didn't stop. I didn't slow down.

I wanted him to come undone before me.

"If you don't stop... I'm going to..." He panted, flexing his hips over and over as he watched me take him higher.

A thrill went through me at the sound of his breathless, gravely voice and I squeezed my hands tighter, pumping him faster, and sucking him harder.

"Fuck.. Fuck..." He growled, his body growing tense. The flexing of his hips grew erratic and jerky as I brought him closer and closer to the edge.

His hands tightened their grip on my hair as his trusting became even more convulsive. I moaned around him, knowing that he was close, and that it was because of what I was doing to him. The pleasure of giving him pleasure what unlike anything I'd known before.

"Brenya, stop... If you don't want me to come into your mouth..."

I clamped my lips around him tighter, accentuating my desire for him to do exactly that... I wanted to taste him, I wanted to take him, to experience all of what he had to give me.

He growled in approval at my eagerness, his hands tightening even further into my hair. It hurt, but I didn't care.

He halted my movements, holding my head in place, as he trust himself into my mouth once, twice, three more times.

He roared as his release shot into my mouth, splashing across my tongue, filling me with the sweet, salty taste of him. The heat of the delicious liquid spurting onto my tongue made me moan in absolute ecstasy, and he panted as he watched me take it all.

He stilled and I swallowed his essence, licking my lips as he pulled himself from my mouth.

He dropped to his knees in front of me, taking my face in both of his hands, as his still lust filled eyes alternated between my own.

"How many times have you done that before?" He growled, his face suddenly angry.

I blinked at him in surprise. "Never."

His eyes widened as he gaped at me. "What?"

I furrowed my brows. "I-I've had sex before... a couple of times, with one person... But I've never done that before."

"But, how? You... Gods, Brenya, no one has ever gotten me off that way before."

My eyes widened as a flash of pride swelled inside of me. "Really?"

His lips crashed into mine. His tongue forced my lips apart, trashing wildly against my own. I was sure he could still taste himself on me, but that didn't seem to bother him. I moaned as he lifted me off of the floor and pulled us onto the couch with me in his lap, straddling him.

"Brenya... Will you ever stop surprising me?" He asked breathlessly, his tongue sweeping across my lower lip.

I smiled against his mouth. "No. It's too much fun."

He growled, trailing kisses down my jawline. "You maddening woman... I love you."

I buried my face in his hair, smiling widely. "I love you, too."

**************

Dristan left shortly after that, as both of us needed to prepare for the ritual. It was only a couple of hours away, now. I'd carefully cleaned my mouth, ridding myself of any trace or scent of him on me. I had to shower again, but avoided my hair and face, not wanting to ruin my make up.

I sat on the couch, watching the seconds tick by on the wall clock. I counted down each minute, my nerves growing more and more prevalent as I did.

And before I knew it, much too soon, there was a knock at my front door. I slowly padded to the door, smoothing out my flowing, white gown. When I pulled it open, Ronan smiled down at me.

"Princess..." He said, extending his arm toward me.

I hooked my arm through his as I shut the door and began walking down the corridor with him.

"Are you ready to make history?" He asked, raising a brow at me.

I stared up at him blankly before turning my face forward again.

"I'm ready."

*********************

I stared up at the ceiling as I laid on top of a stone table, which had been placed at the front of the stage. Someone had lined standing torches all around the vast, empty room, casting a soft glow about it.

There were several Fae males near the side of the stage, seated in front of several, large drums. Their faces were painted with white lines and they stared into the crowd blankly as they began to slowly beat on their percussion instruments.

I turned my head to the side. The massive crowd of people below was as silent as death as they watched me with wide eyes. My eyes swept across the front of the crowd, searching... Searching for...

Dristan.

He stood in the very center, his hands folded behind his back. His intense, ocean eyes were glued to mine, his brows furrowed with tension.

Andi and Torryn stood to this left, Warrick to his right. I looked at them all in turn, smiling weakly at them.

Andromeda and Torryn were completely healed. They looked happier than I'd ever seen them before, as they stood there, hand in hand. My heart swelled for them, and broke for myself, at the same time. I hoped that they knew how lucky they were.