《Cry For Me》Chapter 60
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Camryn's POV
I open my window and allow the cool nights wind to brush against my cheeks. I step out onto my roof and look up at the sky. The moon is full and the sky looks darker than usual.
I take a deep breath before jumping over to the neighboring house's roof. The house with a brand new 'For Sale' sign planted in the front yard.
I jump, clenching the blue piece of paper that was given to me by a pretty blond nurse at the hospital. I know it's from him, I just haven't read it yet. I wanted to read it privately, with him.
I lay on my back and look up at the moon. It's not as bright as it used to be.
"It's been a week without you," I say out loud. I feel weird talking to myself, but I know I'm not. I'm not talking to myself, I'm talking to him. "It's been hell to say the least. I barely left the house on Thursday and that was to go get your things from school," I get out.
Thursday
Everyone's staring at me. Everyone's staring at the girl who just lost her boyfriend. The girl who looks like she's going to explode at any moment. If they keep looking, I just might.
The only reason I'm here is to empty his locker, that's it. I didn't want the school to do it and that's why I got myself out of bed today.
Everyone stares while I walk down the hall. I reach his locker and use the combination I have memorized since the day I tried giving him a tour of the school. Before he yelled at me in this very hallway. He was so mean when we first met. I'd give anything for him to be able to be mean again.
I open the locker and am surprised by what I see. He has a picture of us hanging on the door. It's from when we were on my bed, just goofing around. He must have printed it without me knowing.
I take the picture down and stuff it in my back pocket. I notice everyone is still staring at me even though the bell for class already rang. It's making me uncomfortable.
"Camryn?" Someone says behind me. I turn and see Nova, but without her pack this time. I'm about to beg her to let me be for just a day when she pulls me in for a hug. "I'm so sorry, I have no idea what to say." She hugs me tightly and I stay still. She pulls away and says, "I know he hated me as much as you do, and I wanted to apologize for everything I said and did. He seemed like a great guy." I'm surprised by her words.
"He was," I speak for the first time in three days. She offers me a small smile and turns and walks away.
I turn back to his locker and pull out a jacket. It's his leather jacket. His favorite and mine. I bring it to my nose and am surrounded by his scent. It smells just like him. It smells like he isn't gone. He can't be gone.
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I hug his jacket and begin to sob quietly in the middle of this crowded hall. I just can't believe he's actually gone.
I continue to cry as everyone finally rushes to their classes.
"I try to keep it smelling like you," I say to the sky. "I cheat by spraying your cologne on it," I admit. It's not the same but it's the only way I can get myself to sleep at night. I don't tell him that because I don't want him to worry about me. Is he worrying about me? Can he?
"Friday was your funeral. You would've hated it, I know I sure did and for more reasons than one."
Friday
You have to do it Cam, I tell myself as I sit in my car in the parking lot of the cemetery. He was your boyfriend, the love of your life, that's reason enough to be at his service, or is it reason enough not to be?
My body somehow moves on its own without permission from my brain and I start walking towards the only visible pile of dirt. There's only four people besides me here. The priest, Toby, my mom and Madeleine. Walt didn't even show up.
My mom makes her way over to me and wraps her arm around me as the priest begins to speak. She doesn't say anything, she just holds me. We're all standing in front of a half opened black casket. I wanted it to be open until the moment he's put into the ground. I want to see his face as much as I can.
I feel a drop of water land on my head and look up at the gray, gloomy sky.
"I think we should close him up before the rain..." the priest stops himself. What more damage could some rain do?
"Just give me a moment," I tell him. I step closer to the casket and look down at him. He's wearing makeup, I can tell.
I reach for his left hand that is folded on top of the other. I place a silver ring on the appropriate finger and place his hand down. I lean down closer to his face. "I know I turned you down before, but now I'm saying yes," I whisper before kissing his cold, hard cheek for the last time.
I step back and allow Toby and Madeleine to say a few words to him. It bugs me that she's here. She was never there for him and the night she shows up, he dies. What was she even doing there? I'll never know.
The priest closes the casket after everyone says their goodbyes. I hear Toby let out a weird noise. I don't know him that well, but he lost a good friend and I feel bad for him.
The priest goes on with his talking for a few moments before its time to lower him into the ground. Once the casket reaches six feet under, I feel like my heart went with it. I walk over to the pile of dirt and pick up a handful. I drop it into the hole my love would spend eternity in and a few tears go with it.
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I stay there until everyone else has done the same and the service comes to an end. Toby makes his way to me before taking off.
"He really loved you, you know? Never could get him to shut up about you," he chuckles slightly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand before walking away towards his car that was always too loud. For the first time this week I think I smiled.
I turn and see Madeleine walking away too. Guess she had nothing to say. I didn't want her to say anything anyways.
"It was awful," I tell him.
I close my eyes and begin to think of what my life was before him. It was nothing. It was boring. It was sad.
My mom tells me to focus on the important times we had together and be grateful. I think the most important time we had together was meeting my birth parents. I never would have done that without him I don't think, and I'm grateful for that.
"Sam called me on Saturday, I'm not sure how the news got to him, but it was nice of him to call."
Saturday
My phone begins to ring and I debate on whether or not I should throw it at the wall. I know that the one person I want to talk to is not the one calling. I glance at the screen and my anger fades. It's Sam.
I answer the phone but don't say anything. "Camryn?" He says.
"Sam." I say with a shaky voice. I haven't been talking much the past few days because if I do, I just end up crying.
"I'm so sorry Cam, I heard what happened. I know I only met him once but from our sit at the dining table I could tell he was a good guy. I could tell he really cared for you," he says with sincerity. He did care for me, he was there when I needed him most, but now he isn't.
"Thank you," I choke out. I don't know what else to say to him, but it's nice to have him on the other line. I think our biology allows me to feel closer to him than I do my parents.
"They want to see you," he says after moments of silence.
"I know." I don't know if I could face my birth parents again without him but I think he'd want me to. "Life's to short to hold grudges, I'd like to see them too," I tell him. This is what he'd want. He'd want me to have more people there for me other than my mom and dad. I'll do it for him, but also for me.
"I'm not sure when I'll see them, but I will." I realize that I have him all caught up on his first week of being gone and reach for the blue paper. I laid on top of it so the nights wind wouldn't blow it away. I unfold it and take a deep breath before reading his last words to me.
Camryn,
I only have a few minutes before they take me in to surgery. I told them to wait for you but I guess my accident was pretty bad, I feel like shit. I shouldn't have left you Cam, you have to know that I wasn't upset with you. I just said that shit so I could get away from my parents, you didn't deserve to hear that. I guess I haven't really changed that much after all, I'm still hurting you, but that's going to stop after this. I promise Camryn, after I get out of here I'm going to be the best man you've ever known. I'm going to be better than your father and I'm sure as hell going to be better than mine. I'm going to get a better job and finish school and start a life with you, a great life. I made a promise to you that I'd spend the rest of my life with you and I intend on keeping that promise. Even when we're apart all you have to do is look up to the sky and I'm there. We've watched the sky together enough that you're the only thing I see when I look up, and I hope it's the same for you Camryn.
I lay his letter on my chest and look up at the sky. If I blinked, I would've missed it, the beautiful bright star shooting across the night's sky. I smile because I know in this moment that he is here with me and in this moment he isn't gone.
"It is, Colton," I tell him, "It's the same for me."
***
Hi readers!!
Congratulations, you and I made it to the end(tell me what you think!!) It's been a year since I started Cry For Me and I really hope everyone who's read it loves it as much as I loved writing it. This is the first story I've ever finished and put so much effort in to. I hope it shows and that you liked it. Thank you to everyone who left me great feedback, it means the world. And again, please let me know what you think, this is my final update.
Love you all:) xoxo
***
Hey guys, it's me again, almost 3 years later. I've only written this one story and I'm not in the works of another since it's a big commitment. I wrote this in high school and I'm now a 3rd year college student(in the U.S.) and I just never got around to writing another. I know this book is sad and honestly I wrote it for me, I wanted to write something I haven't read before and never thought this many people would read it. That being said, I just want to thank everyone who has left nice comments along the way, and to those who hate the ending, I'm sorry, but it's not changing and there is no need for your negative comments.
Thank you again for all the support, I still love you all
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