He's staring at me with his gorgeous eyes. I look away from his gaze and look up to the stars. They're extremely beautiful tonight, but not as beautiful as the boy laying next to me on this roof. I can tell he's still looking at me. He looks at me like no boy ever has before. His eyes are full of want and desire, and mine are the same. I turn back to him and he smiles. It's that wide smile that resembles a child's. Up here on this roof, he isn't tense, or mad. He's relaxed and happy. He's free. He's free from whatever he fears and he is happy, and I am happy for him. But in a split second, his smile disappears. It is replaced with fear as we hear banging in the distance, and I can see him slipping from me, right before my eyes.

I jolt awake. It was a dream.

I try to gather my thoughts, but I still hear banging. I sit up in my bed and realize it's the front door. I grab my phone to check the time and it's 7:30, exactly one hour before I need to be at school. I wonder why no one has opened the door and then I remember my mom had to work early.

I rush out of my room to answer the door, but the banging stops before I reach the stairs. When I reach the bottom I swing open the door, but no one's there. I take a step outside but still see nobody. I close the door and lean my back against it. I'm going crazy from sleep deprivation.

I start to rub the sleep from my eyes when I hear something upstairs. Okay, I know for sure that I'm supposed to be alone, both of my parents are at work. I'm scared out of my mind, it is too early for this shit. I should call the police, but what if I'm just hearing things. I look around me to find something to protect myself with. The only thing I find is an umbrella settled by the door. I grab it and slowly walk up the stairs.

I have the umbrella held so that the pointy side is sticking out, just in case I need to stab a predator. Oh my god, what if I have to stab a predator? I start to think if I would actually do it. Probably, I mean, you do crazy shit when you're scared and need to defend yourself. Jesus Camryn, focus.

I slowly approach my bedroom door. Okay, I give myself three seconds to open it. Holy shit I can't do this. One, holy shit, I'm going to have to. Two, holy shit, here I go. Three.

I push the door open and scream when I actually see someone standing in my room. They scream back. I don't think, I just throw the umbrella at whoever it is.

"What the fuck, Camryn!" he yells.

"Colton!?" I scream back. I wipe my eyes and sure enough, there he is rubbing his arm where the umbrella hit him.

"What the fuck were you doing? Ow!" he says, still holding his arm.

"I thought someone was breaking in," I explain, my body still shaking from this minor rush of adrenalin. My heart is pounding and I feel a little lightheaded.

"So you thought a damn umbrella would protect you?" he asks, his face still scrunched from some pain. I think I may have thrown the umbrella pretty hard, but what if it was an actual threat. I think I did alright.

"Well I got you good didn't I?" I point out. "What the hell are you doing in here?" I look him over and see he's completely dressed and ready. He's wearing a white t-shirt and a gray zip up sweater. His jeans are dark and nicely fitting and a pair of gray Nikes.

"I tried knocking on the damn door for five minutes but you didn't answer, so I tried this, which was a fucking bad idea," he says and I burst out laughing. "You know, I'm starting to worry what you'd do if someone actually broke in," he laughs. He's right. Last night I froze and this morning I panicked. I'd probably die, if I'm being honest.

"So why the hell are you banging on my door at seven thirty in the damn morning ON A FRIDAY?" I ask loudly.

"Excuse me for wanting to be a good friend and making sure you're not LATE FOR SCHOOL," he says, mocking my tone. Is it weird that I can only focus on the word friend.

"Colton, Fridays are late start," I tell him, shaking my head.

His face falls and he asks, "what?"

"On Fridays we start school at 8:30."

"What the hell?" he says, looking at his watch. "Well good fucking night," he says before jumping on my bed and kicking off his shoes.

"Um, what are you doing?" I ask.

"Don't you have to get ready or something? Wake me up when you're done," he mumbles against my pillow. I decide not to protest, partly because I do need to get ready and partly because I know that he could use more sleep, and I think that he may be somewhat more comfortable sleeping here.

I walk into my bathroom and plug in my curling iron. I brush my teeth and wash my face. The cold water feels good and it relaxes me. I look at my hands and they're still shaking. I'm not scared anymore so it must be nerves. This is the longest I've ever had someone else in my room within twelve hours. I've always been a private person when it comes to my room, it's the only place where I'm really myself.

Even my parents know not to come in my room. I mean, they can if they want to, but they know I like privacy. That's another thing I like about my parents, they don't hover, but at the same time they know enough to make sure I'm not doing anything bad such as drugs or alcohol. My parents are still pretty young, both in their late thirties, so most of the time they seem like my friends more than my parents. But trust me, they know how to be parents.

They were high school sweet hearts and that's why they adopted me when they were so young. My grandparents didn't approve of their choice to have a baby so young but once they found out my mom couldn't conceive, they took it easy on them. And look at them now, my grandparents love me.

After I'm done curling my hair, I walk back into my room to grab my phone and check the time. Colton is asleep, his mouth slightly open. His body is laid out all over my queen sized bed. He looks so comfortable and I'm jealous. Thank goodness I don't have work tonight, I don't think I'd be able to stay awake for it.

I check my phone and it's 7:53. I'll wake him up when I'm done with my makeup. I walk back into the bathroom and quickly apply my usual makeup. That reminds me that Colton is also the only boy to see me without makeup on besides my dad since I've started wearing it. It's not really a big deal since I don't think it makes me look that much different, it just makes me look more presentable.

I check the weather and it's going to be a high of 54 degrees, that's really cold for Californians. I look in my closet and grab a pair of burgundy skinny jeans and an oversized creme colored sweater. I go back into the bathroom and change. When I walk back out, I can hear Colton snoring ever so slightly. I'm going to feel bad when I have to wake him up.

I throw on some brown boots and grab a light infinity scarf and wrap it around my neck. I fix it so that it's hanging fairly low and isn't scrunched up at my neck. I look in the mirror and shrug, that's as good as it's going to get.

I walk out of the bathroom and make my way to the bed. Colton is knocked out. How does he fall asleep so deeply that fast? I lightly shake his arm and say, "Get up, time to go." He doesn't move. I shake harder, "Colton wake up, we need to go." He mumbles a few words but doesn't wake.

I put my other hand on his stomach to shake him harder and as I do so, he winces and his eyes shoot open. "What time is it?" he asks, wrapping his arms around his stomach as he sits up.

"8:10, hey are you okay?" I ask. He moves his hands from his stomach and stands up.

"Yeah I'm fine, are you ready?" he asks. I nod and I start to wonder if he's giving me a ride. Or maybe I should offer him a ride, or maybe don't say anything at all. He walks out of the room and I follow. When we get to the bottom of the stairs, I grab my keys from next to the door. "Look, I would give you a ride, but um, I know you're scared," he says looking down at me.

"Oh yeah, it's okay," I say, waving my hand in the air so it's not big deal. Truth is, scared or not, I'd still want him to give me a ride. Despite my life long fear of motorcycles, I felt my safest with my arms wrapped around his body.

We step outside and Colton takes my keys from my hand to lock the front door. He hands them back to me and says, "See you at school." He turns away and crosses his lawn to get to his bike. By the time I'm in my car, he's already riding off. I can feel something deep inside of me and it isn't good.

I think I might be developing a crush. I've never really liked a boy, or anyone for that matter because everyone was always so mean. I don't know how to feel about this. Is Colton a good guy to have my first crush on? Sure he can sometimes be nice, but since we've met, he's been more mad at me than happy. And is there really a point in having a crush on someone who only thinks of you as a friend? No. But I guess you can't really help who you start to like.

***

Colton's already in the seat next to mine when I get to anatomy. He half smiles when he sees me and I take my seat. Okay, maybe he can like me more than a friend. This is crazy, I've only known him for about a week, I shouldn't be thinking too much into this. I'm getting ahead of myself.

I smile back at him and then I notice Arko walk in. He sees Colton in his seat and let's out a big dramatic sigh. He's a strange little boy, but it makes me laugh. Colton turns to see what I'm laughing about and when he does he joins me.

As soon as the bell rings, Miller gets started on his lecture. I have a lot of catching up to do this weekend with my anatomy work, if I get another B on his test my grade will drop from an A. That can't happen. I look over all of my work that's due on the day of the test and I'm overwhelmed. I'm so thankful that I was able to get him to change the date of the test, but I may be too far behind for it to help.

I get started with the review questions at the end of the chapter which requires the most time. The first question already has me lost. I exhale loudly and bury my face in my hands. I look next to me and Colton is just sitting there, no work, nothing.

"You okay?" he asks.

"How are you just sitting there, don't you care about your grades?" I ask him.

"Nope," he answers, popping the p. he turns away and faces forward. What? how can you not care about your grades? I would care about my grades even if I tried not to. The stress of getting into a good college is what fuels me to do my best. Although stress isn't the best fuel engine, it's been keeping me at a 4.0.

Sometimes I think what I stress this much for. Is it to have a better future, yes, but it most likely won't turn out as planned.

My plan:

1.Get accepted into a great college I can afford and is far away from here.

2.Have my major figured out and work hard towards graduating.

3.Fall in love with a man in the same major as me.

4.Find a job as soon as I graduate and love it.

5.Pay off my student loans with the money I've earned from my well paying job.

6.Get married to the man from number 3.

7.Have enough money to take time off of work and start a family.

8.Raise my children and live happily ever after.

How it'll probably turn out:

1.Not having enough money for a college away.

2.Getting accepted into a local college.

3.Not having a clue what I want to major in and wasting money.

4.Graduating from said local college.

5.Not being able to find a job with my useless degree.

6.Work in retail.

7.Be in a shitload of debt the rest of my life.

Boy, isn't that depressing.

Going over my lists only make me stress more and my head hurts. "I'm never getting out of here," I mumble to myself.

The bell rings and all I did was have a mental breakdown and Colton just sat there. I wonder what he's always thinking about when he just stares off into space. I would literally pay money to read that boys mind.

***

I didn't see Colton at lunch and I had to suffer a half hour of Judith being uncomfortably quiet. She had absolutely nothing to talk about. I could've told her everything that happened with Colton, but I just simply didn't want to. I know you're supposed to share everything with your friends, but I feel you should only do that with someone you completely trust. I haven't allowed myself to completely trust someone since my 'friend' in the seventh grade was only my friend so I'd tell her secrets and she'd run off and tell everybody.

I know that what happened with Colton being at the diner and in my house isn't that big of a secret but I feel somewhat possessive of those moments. It's like those are memories that will stay with me for a long time and I want to keep them to myself. I don't want to share what I was feeling about him in those moments with anyone besides Colton. Not that I'd ever actually share my thoughts with him, so that means I'll keep it to myself.

People say it's bad to keep things bottled in and sooner or later you'll explode, but I believe my mind happens to be stronger than others. Growing up as an only child sets you up to keep a lot of things to yourself. So basically I've been preparing myself my whole life to keep things from people, and now I actually have something I want just for myself.

I even stopped by my locker a few times to see if he was at his. He wasn't. I don't see Colton's motorcycle in the parking lot as I walk to my car. When did he leave? I look around to see if he parked somewhere else but he's nowhere in sight.

I drive home completely confused. Did he possibly leave school before lunch or did I just take a bit longer to get to the parking lot?

As I pull into the neighborhood, I can hear that loud damn car. I continue driving to my house and sure enough, the black car that always picks Colton up, drives past me. I try to see if anyone's in the passenger seat but I see no one. That's when I see Colton right behind the car on his motorcycle.

He turns his head slightly to look at me I assume, I can't tell due to his helmet. I know I shouldn't, but before I know it, I'm back on the road, following them. I have to know where they're always going.