By the time I'd showered and dressed, the hotel rang to confirm the delivery of my rental car. On the way to pick up Riley, I'd confirmed all the arrangements with the horse sanctuary we were visiting today.

Back in Lockwood, Riley had spoken about her love for all things horse related. I shouldn't have needed Connor to remind me, but that aside I was sure she would appreciate the day out I'd organised with solely her in mind—or at least I hoped she would.

I'd admit I was nervous but it was one sure fire way of showing her the passions that she loved meant something to me too and it felt good giving back something that she missed from back home.

And if it earned me a smile and some brownie points, even better.

As I'd arrived at her apartment block, she was sat on the steps waiting for me. I'd wanted head up to her apartment and knock on her door, as you would a date. But she'd insisted that wasn't necessary and would meet me outside. A little disappointed I would make sure I walked her back to her door tonight when we got back.

Parking, I unclipped my seatbelt and was out the car walking toward as she rose, dusting off her butt.

Beautiful. She looked every inch the natural beauty she was. Green eyes sparkling, hair tied up and her face free of any kind of make-up and damn if she didn't get my heart racing and that feeling I had since we'd spoken last night expanded in my chest. And when I complimented her the blush to her cheeks was so goddamn adorable.

How the hell had I let this woman walk away?

As the distance between us closed Riley tipped her head up. She didn't draw away as I thought she might and her eyes dropped to my lips and she licked across hers and I followed the movement. Dipping my head she stilled, sucking in a sharp breath and I pressed a soft kiss on her cheek, catching the edge of her lips. I heard her exhale and every hair on my body stood on end and a rush of blood went south.

Christ. No, no, no. I was determined we would keep the relationship strictly PG-13... until she gave me an answer, another chance.

This wasn't about sex, or me. This was all about Riley and showing her how important she was to me.

But try telling that to the man downstairs. In the shower rolling images of every intimate moment we'd shared played on repeat and even though I'd taken some very much needed hand relief, decorating the shower wall, I was still in a state of semi-arousal just setting eyes on her and when her sweet peach scent surrounded me, wrapping around my senses it was almost my undoing and I forced myself to step back, swallowing hard.

Riley giggled. "Tickles...the beard," she clarified, smiling and her eyes locked on mine then dropped like a stone, but not before I saw the uncertainty hidden there. It was important I rectified that first.

"You ready?" I asked inhaling a deep calming breath.

"Sure am...but you still not fixin' on telling me where we're going?"

"Nope, I want to surprise you." I'd instructed via message about what would be best to wear. And it was sweet torture to see her wearing jeans that hugged every sinful curve of her round ass.

I had to force my eyes up more than once and will my erection down. Easier said than done.

As we pulled up to the gated entrance, I sent up a quick prayer hoping I'd made the right call fetching her here.

Riley's mouth dropped and we drove under the sign. "Shoeing and Saddles Rescue and Rehabilitation." She muttered, more to herself.

It had taken a two-hour drive and stopping for a light lunch before we'd arrived in the Hudson Valley. Riley blinked, pulling back to stare at me in confusion. "What? We're goin' here?" she gasped, and added, "Horseback riding?"

There was awe in her tone.

"Patience." Keeping my face forward I smiled sensing her excitement.

As we pulled up, A man was already waiting as he pointed to where he wanted us to park up.

Riley's seatbelt was unclipped and the door flung open before I had a chance to kill the engine. "Wow!" I heard her say.

"Hey," said the man, walking toward us. "I'm Frank."

Riley shook his hand. "Riley Jo, Sir."

Out of the car, I closed the door and made my way around the car, and Frank offered his hand. He was no more than thirty and I guess you could say handsome if you liked rough and rugged types. The type of men in quite a few of Riley's romance books. I gulped squaring my shoulders trying to make myself seem bigger. Christ knows why.

"Adam," I introduced myself. "We spoke earlier?"

"You spoke with my father, Frank senior, but he brought me up to speed and we're always happy for an extra pair of hands." He hitched a thumb over his shoulder. "How 'bout I show you around first?"

We spend the next fifteen minutes following and and listening to Frank tell us the history behind the centre. Riley kept turning to me and smiling.

I finally felt like I was doing something right.

As they chatted I watched Frank junior's eyes slide over Riley. I wouldn't deny jealously ripped right through me and I found it goddamn difficult not to let out a possessive growl because Riley wasn't mine...yet, and I hadn't earned that right. But I honestly couldn't blame the guy, still I had to stop from insetting myself between the two of them and taking hold of her hand.

Instead I walked two steps behind and tried to channel my energy into the fact that it was me she kept turning around to smile at, seemingly not noticing Frank good looks and smiles he kept offering.

Frank turned to me. "You're a doctor, huh?"

"Yes."

"He's a heart surgeon, no less." Riley inserted, and I didn't miss the pride in her words and my chest puffed out.

Frank tipped his head and It was a little strange matching up his mix of Southern and New York accent with what he was wearing. I guessed his clothes matched the typical Texan cowboy rancher's outfit, complete with hat.

"Here we are, " he said as we stopped in front of a large gated stable. "These are where we house some our long stays, normally they'll be out in the pastures, but I had them leave some here, so you can have your pick."

Riley's face was a picture as she followed him into the stables. He turned to Riley. "Adam here told us you've been around horses your whole life?"

She nodded. "Yea, Sir. Been ridin' almost as long as these legs have been walkin'"

He tipped his head. "Now, the horses in here - all of them had a rough start in life but we like to think they like it here and hopefully one day they might find permanent homes." He nodded at the end stall. "Only Blue, over there is a little temperamental, but he'll let you know how he's feeling."

Riley nodded, soaking in every word.

"Saddles and anything you need over there." He turned and pointed. "Feel free to head up the trails, but you're gonna have to groom and muck out when you get back."

Riley turned to me with the biggest smile before turning back to Frank. "Not a problem, it will be my pleasure, Sir."

"Just call me Frank, Riley. Calling me Sir is like putting stairs in this here stables - they don't fit."

She nodded. "Frank it is."

Frank looked between us. "Right, I'll be around and come get me or speak with any of the stable hands if you need anything."

"Yea, sure will. And thanks."

Frank tipped his head in my direction. "You riding?"

"First time."

"Ah, well, make sure you pick a horse from one of those three." His hand lifted, pointing. "Those girls will see you right."

Riley cut in. "Don't you worry, doctor. I got you." My heart practically stuttered when she used her nickname for me.

Realising what she'd said, her cheeks flushed quickly, turning away, chatting to Frank. I tried to temper the bloom of hope in my chest.

"We're good, Frank. I can show him the ropes."

"Have fun," he said, heading out.

Riley danced on the balls of her feet, turning to me. "I can't believe you found this place."

"Are you happy?"

"Happy? I'm as happy as a possum eatin' a sweet 'tater." She beamed pushing the hair from her shoulder. "This is exactly what I needed." Her eyes lingered on mine. "Thank you."

"So, what's the plan?" I was hers to command.

She bit her bottom lip. "I'm itchin' to ride one of these beauties, but first things first. " She walked by each stall, running her hand over each head. "Oh my. How to choose—they're all so beautiful." Now standing at the end stall, she tilted her head, planting her hands on his hips, observing the horse Frank had called Blue. "Oh, look at you, handsome boy. You remind me of my Jasper back home."

The horse didn't look impressed, swishing its tail taking a step back. "Are you sure that one is friendly, Riley?" I'd never thought of horses as intimidating, but close up, I wouldn't mess with one.

"He might look a little cranky... fussy maybe, but I love me a challenge." She turned, grinning. "All they need is a soft touch. My specialty." She slid the sliding bolt to step inside, and I held my breath. "Don't ya boy?"

Without fear or hesitation, Riley shifted closer with a confidence I'd never seen in her before. It was sexy for sure. "You seem to know what you're doing."

"Uh-huh," she mumbled, but it was the sparkle in her eyes that told me everything I needed to know. She was at home here.

Keeping her voice gentle, soothing. "The key to calmin' a horse is to be calm yourself...and these." She held up her hands, wiggling them, flashing a bright grin. "Let them feel you out. I do with my hands...and he'll do the same from my touch and the emotions he'll pick up from me."

"I'm impressed." I wasn't blowing smoke up her ass. In fact a smile curved my mouth and admiration grew in my chest.

"You're a beautiful boy," she cooed, turning back to me. "I always wanted my own stables." She smiled shyly. "Almost as much as I want children."

"Perhaps New York wasn't the best location to settle."

Riley hummed her reply but didn't stop fussing Blue. "I've moved around just to escape."

It wasn't hard to figure out she was escaping her mama.

"Looking after horses and riding is the closest I come to dreaming while being wide awake." She reached behind her, dipping a hand into a hanging bucket to come out with a handful of something and offered it to the horse. "My kind of heaven."

I watched Riley work her magic with Blue, whispering and stroking. "Time to saddle up." She went to collect a saddle. "Okay," she continued to talk to Blue. "I know you're feelin' weird because we don't know each other that well."

The horse neighed in response, almost as if he understood what she was saying. "But me and you, we're gonna get on like a house on fire." Fixing the saddle, she came out the stall. "How's about you? See one you like?" she asked.

I kept on looking at Riley. I saw something I liked, but it had nothing to do with horses. She must have read my mind. "I'm talking about the horses, Adam." She raised her eyebrow but smiled.

I looked around. I didn't have a clue what I was doing.

"Here, let me pick one out for you," she offered.

She walked by each one and picked a beautiful brown mare. "Betsy," she muttered. "This girl 'ere will take fine care of you—with it being your first time an all."

Riley showed me how to saddle her up and gave me a lesson on the do's and don'ts. I climbed—no, mounted the horse and followed behind Riley.

"We'll head up the South trail, there." She pointed.

We rode for half an hour, and it wasn't long until my gluteus maximus was feeling the pinch as well as a burn in my upper thighs. I never thought it would be so uncomfortable to ride. Riley pulled on her reign, slowing down her horse for Betsy to plod alongside her and Blue.

"You okay, Adam?"

Aside from wanting to get off this horse and kiss you silly. "Yeah, all good Riley." I hoped she didn't see my wince when I shifted in the saddle."

"Well, how 'bout we stop? This here looks as good as any to rest a while."

I let out a thankful sigh.

Climbing down with little grace, I heard Riley giggle. "Sorry."

"You laughing at me, Riley Jo Lockwood?"

"Me?" she shook her head, trying to muster a serious face. "Never."

I looked around at the small clearing with a stream. Riley led her horse, and I followed, letting them drink. Riley pulled out the flask of water we'd brought along with us. "Sit there?"

I turned to see a fallen log. Sitting next to her, my legs brushed up against hers and our upper arms rested against one another.

Now seemed like a good time to talk as Riley unscrewed the top of the flask.

"Did you mean what you said?" I asked, expanding. "In your letter?"

Riley's fingers stilled. "Which part are we talkin'?" she finally asked.

I reached around to my back jeans pocket and pulled out the letter she'd left for me at the hospital.

"You carry it with you?" she turned to me.

I nodded. "Pretty much kept it will me from the second I finished reading it." Her eyes widened. "It's fair to say I've read it so many times it's up here." I tapped my forehead.

Her lips parted. "You might want to refresh me."

Rubbing the letter between my fingers and thumb, I didn't take it out of the envelope. "You were walking away from Lockwood, having fallen in love."

She twisted her head away from me, but from her side profile I could see her biting into her bottom lip. "Yeah," she whispered.

Yes! It sent a thrill of excitement right through me to hear her admit it. "You said something in the letter that struck home."

"And what might that be?"

"The part where you said you wanted to pretend something was there."

Riley gulped and I continued. "It wasn't in your head or your heart or your imagination Riley."

She swallowed again. "It wasn't?"

"No." I shook my head. "It was real for me, too." Now or never, Adam. "It scared me to show you, tell you." She stayed quiet. "In more ways than one."

Turning toward me, hope and confusion spread through her beautiful green eyes. "I don't understand, Adam."

Of course she wouldn't. "I was afraid about what I felt or say it out loud. Because I was scared that if I let you in, then I might lose you too."

"Lose me? As in dying?" she stuttered.

"What!? No, not dying." I reached for her hand, taking it in mine. "Christ, you better not die on me because trust me, I couldn't go through that again." I blurted out. Taking a breath. "No, scared that you would realise I'm too old for you, or boring and it would be too late because I was in so deep that if you left I wouldn't recover from losing you on top of what I've already been through."

Her mouth formed a cute O. "Adam, two things you are not is old and boring." A little hmph escaped her parted lips. "Trust me on that."

I smiled and damn if I didn't feel warmer.

"What do you feel... now?" Hesitation underpinned her words.

"Honestly? It's confusing," I admitted. "A lot of things. And because I don't know where this is going right now or can go, I don't want to make promises or get my hopes up." I was being as truthful as I could. "I tried to keep my distance because I didn't want to hurt you."

I thought I was doing the right thing, keeping Riley at arm's length, pretending it was just a bit of fun...sex.

I'd been so wrong and so stupid.

"But I hurt you anyway, Riley."

I set free her hand and moved to her cheek, swiping my finger gently across it. "But these six weeks—not being with you have been torture and I haven't stopped thinking about you. It was like losing Emma all over again and worse in some part."

"Worse?"

"Yeah, because I was the one to mess this up." I smiled sadly. "It was my fault."

Dark, thick lashes fluttered as a tingle of heat raced through my hand. Her breath was a little uneven, as was mine. But she didn't shy away from my touch.

"Yesterday, when I said I wanted you. I do. That's not me feeding you a line. When you smile at me, Riley, the world is better, brighter. I miss that. I miss you." God, did I want to kiss her, and it took every ounce of restraint not to. "Since you left, I've just been going through the motions."

She remained still, but the war-zone in the eyes told a story.

"I know I let you down in a big way." Her brows furrowed. "Not being there when you lost the baby."

She blinked back tears. "And I'd understand if you never forgave me."

Riley's lip quivered.

"But I'm here now. I want to make up for that... If you'll let me."

I dropped my hand as Riley lifted her shoulder in admission and defeat and for a second; she looked so lost and sad as she ran a finger along the rim on the flask. "I felt silly for being so upset about Bean, like I had no right."

"Bean?"

She turned away, sighing. "I called them Bean because I didn't like that everyone kept calling them a foetus and it didn't feel right or enough. It was still my baby, no matter how long they were with me." She lifted the flask, then lowered it. "Bean was the first name that popped inside my head."

"Bean," I repeated. "I like it."

Tears settled in the corner of her eyes. "I'm not angry with you, Adam. Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about it. But I wasn't even sure... you know if you wanted to." She pulled back, taking a deep breath. "You told me quite clearly you didn't want children, so I figured you wouldn't want to talk about losing one either."

She thought I hadn't cared. Another epic failure on my part.

I took her hand in mine again. "If I'm honest, Riley, I've tried not to think about losing... someone else." She had to see I would not up and leave her again, let her walk away without a fight. "But you can talk to me. I'm here. I want to listen. I'm not going anywhere."

Her shoulders sagged a little. "I know this might sound crazy, but losing Bean, the void I felt... feel, still. Guilt that it was somehow my fault." A tear tripped past her dark lashes as she quickly swiped it away.

"Riley, baby. It was not your fault—you can't blame yourself."

She nodded. "I know. Everyone keeps tellin' me and I know it makes sense... but still."

"I get it, losing someone is cruel, confusing, and it doesn't just go away overnight."

She turned away from me again as we sat quietly.

"I know you're sayin' all the right things, Adam, but I don't know how this could even work—between us?"

I poured every ounce of sincerity into my reply. "It can if we both want it. I know I want it."