With bleary eyes, I looked through the peephole of my hotel suite to see Danny on the other side. Unlatching the door, I opened, yawning. "Christ, Danny! You do know it's only six in the morning!?" Shifting aside so he could come in.

As ever, Danny was his happy self as he dropped a large duffel bag on the floor next to the sofa.

"Going somewhere?" I asked.

"Yeah, checked out." Flopping down on the sofa. "Seeing as my match-maker skills are no longer needed here," he said with a smirk that I could barely focus on. "I'm packed and ready to head out."

Ah, it made sense. I scrubbed my hands over my face.

"I thought we might grab breakfast before I head out. Flights in a few hours."

I wasn't meeting Riley till eleven. "Sure, sounds good. Let me get dressed."

We found a nearby diner, choosing a booth where the early morning sunlight was already warming the seats. Danny slid in, reaching for the menu. "How did it go—last night?" he asked, his attention skimming down the menu.

I'd messaged Danny, told him I was going to take a chance and show up unannounced and surprise Riley. "...Okay."

His eyes lifted in question. "Just okay?" Pausing, waiting for me to throw him a bone. "Maybe my departure is premature?" he threw back at me.

A moment's reprieve from his questioning eyes, "Morning. Welcome to East-Sides Diner." The server announced, pausing her gum chewing. "My name is Marie. What can I get you today?"

"Red eye and swiss omelette," ordered Danny.

I quickly skimmed the board with the specials. "Coffee, black and French toast, for me, thanks."

She smiled, her mouth manically working her gum. "Comin' right up."

Danny returned his attention to me. "You were saying?"

It still felt awkward as hell talking to Danny about my love-life, or rather lack of it. But I had to get over myself. "Yeah, she agreed to spend the day with me—today." The server returned with our drinks.

"Food won't be too long."

"Thanks." I smiled, looking back at Danny. "I plan to show her I'm all in."

"All in?"

"Yes, Riley's important to me. I want to show her how much."

Danny smiled, lifting his drink.

"You're okay with that?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, I'm okay with that—more than okay." Danny's face twisted. Putting down his drink, he reached for the spoon stirring and adding sugar. "So what's the plan?" He smirked. "What did all that reading tell you?"

Urgh, I barely contained my groan. "You're never gonna let me live this down—are you?"

"Who—me?" He grinned and huffed a laugh. "It's Chris you have to worry about!"

Internally cringing. "Please. I'll pay you not to say anything."

Still chuckling to himself. "Keep your money," He aimed his spoon in my direction. "However, be prepared if you mess this up with Riley...he's the first person I'm calling."

"Blackmail doesn't suit you, Danny."

"I like to think of it as leverage." The server stopped by again, placing our food down. "Swiss, for you and French toast for you." She winked at Danny. "Anything else you need, just shout over."

"Thanks," we both replied, although her attention remained on Danny as he picked up his fork, slicing up his omelette. "So, tell me. What does this all-in look like?" he asked.

"Yesterday, when I dropped you off at your hotel. I reached out to Charlie Cutler, an old friend from college. He was a grad student, more like a mentor to me."

"Uh-hu," he said with a mouthful of omelette.

"Charlie heads up the whole of Cardiology at Presbyterian."

"What?" Danny lowered his fork. "You're thinking of leaving Mercy... Lockwood?"

I slowly nodded. "Yeah. If Riley gives me another shot and this is where she wants to be. Then this is where I need to be—with her." I shrugged. "I'm not cut out for long-distance."

Swallowing his food, he studied me thoughtfully. "For what's it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing."

"The right thing?" one eyebrow arched up, the other slanted down. "You don't think I'm crazy to just up and move cross-county to be with someone almost half my age?"

"Hell no, and you're forgetting Mom was older than you," adding, "did it bother you?"

It never bothered me—why would it?

"But I won't say you haven't shocked the hell out of me. I didn't actually think you would leave Mercy Heights without a little coercion."

"Me neither."

"But honestly. I'm happy for you. And Mom would be too." He genuinely smiled.

And although I'd already assumed Danny would be okay with me leaving, it was great having the validation of his feelings. I just had to quit the knee jerk reaction wondering what Emma would think even though she had wanted me to find love again. Move on.

"Okay, so what else? Please tell me all those hours spent reading those sappy romance novels gave you some great secret, or insight into what women actually want?"

After reading some of those books, I honestly couldn't see what Riley saw in me. "Afraid not. I spoke with Connor instead to get inside her head."

"Who—her best friend?"

"Yeah. He said the thing Riley misses about home is her horse and riding."

"New York isn't exactly horse country—is it?"

"I'm taking her up state. I found this rescue place. She can ride and help out."

"Okay, that sounds like fun for Riley... but you don't ride."

Cutting into my toast. "No, never." Growing up in the city had never afforded me the opportunity. "But if I have to climb on a horse and ride till my ass hurts, then that's what I'm gonna do."

Danny laughed. "The things you do for love!"

Shit.

With a stunned inhalation, it sucked the mouthful of buttery goodness down the wrong way. And it wedged there, filling the small pocket of my throat and refusing me oxygen.

Making a small sound in the back of my throat, I tried to cough it up as my mind exploded into a flurry of dread that I would die here in the diner without Riley knowing how I truly felt. I slammed a fist into my chest.

The clatter of Danny's fork on his plate reached my ears as he was up out of his seat and thumping his hand into my back. I would not die—dramatic, perhaps.... but when they say your life flashes before you, they're not wrong!

Chest on fire, the toast came free, and I swallowed it down.

Jesus-Christ!

The server rushed over with a glass of water, offering it. I took it and gulped it down. "Everything alright, here?" her eyes darted between me and Danny.

"Yeah, better." I croaked.

"Christ, you had me worried for a second." Puffed out Danny, easing back into his seat, picking up his fork.

Hell, it had me worried. I wiped over my mouth. But he'd mentioned the word I'd been too damn afraid to acknowledge. It's the white elephant in my head.

Love.

Panic filled me. The same panic I felt every time I'd tried to let Riley in. "You know I loved your mom... still love your mom?"

"And you know loving both doesn't make you a bad person?"

A jagged breath came out. "When I first recognised I felt something more—" I paused. "For Riley." Swallowing hard. "The guilt was immense, crushing me under the weight of it." I took a breath. "Some days it still does."

Danny nodded.

"And I know you might not understand this, but it feels like I'm choosing Riley over your mom."

Danny put his fork down. "Do you talk to Riley about Mom?"

I nodded, not sure where he was going with this. "Yeah, some."

"And has Riley ever suggested you need to forget Mom—choose her?"

I shot him a glance. "What—No!" Riley had only ever shown an interest in Emma, wanting to know more. It had been me that pulled back, only sharing glimpses of my life with her.

"Adam," he started, before clearing his throat. "I'm going to tell you something. Something that mom wanted me to share when I felt the time was right."

I looked at him blankly, but something pressed heavy on my chest. "Okay."

His normal, carefree expression was nowhere to be seen. "Mom made a choice."

"A choice? I don't—" he cut in.

"Damn, this is hard." His cheeks reddened as he licked across his bottom lip. "Mom had the chance at a new heart."

What? "It's not possible. A donor heart? No!" The words left my mouth so sharply they almost cut my tongue and I didn't understand why, but warnings solidified the air as my posture snapped tight.

"It's true, Adam, she did."

My stomach pitched over as I watched sadness and pity set in his eyes. "No, no." It was as if time had stopped. "She would have talked to me—told me." I shook my head insistently. "I would have heard about it." Donor hearts weren't an everyday occurrence.

"You were away...for a conference." He exhaled roughly. "There was a young boy, sixteen." He took a breath. "It went to him."

I sucked in a huge gulp of air. Emma wouldn't have done this to me. She knew it was killing me watching her life slip away. "When?" I challenged, not believing him.

"About eighteen months before she..."

Died.

I finished the sentence in my head. She had a chance to live and chose to leave me.

To die.

I shook my head. Menace spiked my voice.

"You were in Denver."

I remembered. I wasn't scheduled to go but at the last minute I'd been invited to speak. My heart was being ripped out all over again.

"Adam, she would never put herself above anyone else." No deceit hid in his words. "You know that's who she was." In his eyes sat an apology.

But what about me? How the fuck could she leave me? She'd never given me the choice.

I rubbed my forehead, bewildered. Rage and pain blustered through my body.

"It was her decision, Adam."

"But she talked to you?" I couldn't help the cruel sharpness in my tone.

He nodded. "She rang me... wanted me to understand."

"Understand?" The room was spinning. "Understand that she was choosing death!?"

"I'm sorry, Adam." He lifted a hand, stretched across the space between us and placed it on my shoulder. "I wanted her to tell you—talk to you."

"And you never thought to tell me?"

I was crushed.

"How could I Adam?"

Anger blistered inside my brain; my hand coiled on itself. I wasn't angry with Danny... well, maybe a little with him.

He continued, not knowing his words were choking me. "She knew you would have talked her out of it."

Damn straight.

"I'd hoped." His voice was thick and deeper than usual. "I wasn't going to tell you."

Panic filled me. "You not making me feel any better here, Danny, "

"You met Riley, and I thought you were moving on." He shook his head, lifting a shoulder. "—You were smiling again, and I decided you didn't need to know."

I dropped my head into my hands. It wasn't enough for her to choose to stay with me.

"You're holding onto all this guilt, stopping you from moving forward."

"Jesus," I mumbled, lifting my head. "She should have told me." At a loss of what else to say.

Danny leaned back; one hand pushed through his thick hair. "Look, I don't know if this thing with Riley is going to work out." He paused. "But I get a feeling she means more to you than you're willing to let on."

Was I that transparent?

"So yeah, I'm all in for you moving on. I'm all in for you being happy." He leaned forward and pushed his cup out the way. "And if that means you moving halfway cross-county then I'm all in for that too."

We sat in a heavy silence. I couldn't change what Emma had done. She was gone.

Riley was here, alive. Which meant a future where I had a chance to be happy again.

Then dread settled in my gut.

"What if I've missed my chance?" Riley had been the light in the dark. And I'd grabbed it, clinging onto it like a life-raft offering nothing in return.

I'd been a selfish bastard.

And the baby. I hadn't been there. Could she forgive me for leaving her to deal with the loss on her own? She most likely thought it meant nothing to me.

Danny interrupted my thoughts. "What are you thinking?"

"I don't deserve, Riley."

"What makes you say that?"

Shame swept through me. "She lost a baby and I never once reached out over these six weeks to talk to her. See how she was? How fucking selfish is that?"

Danny said nothing.

"Riley is the sweetest, kindest, probably the most forgiving person I'll ever meet, but how can I expect her to forgive that?"

The walls felt like they were closing in on me. The harsh reality of what I'd done.

"So what do you want to do about it?" he asked in all seriousness. "Look, we're men. Fucking up is what we're good at." He shrugged. "Just ask Chris."

I smiled, nodding once.

"But honestly, I think Riley wants this just as much as you do. It's up to you to change how it moves forward." He took another mouthful of omelette."

He was right.

"And let's simplify here."

"Eh... simplify?" He'd lost me.

"Look at the future, and picture Riley not in it and ask yourself—do you like the look of that future?"

I didn't want to picture a future with no Riley.

"Don't take for granted that she will be around if you can't open up. Talk to her." He forked in his last mouthful, reaching for his coffee. "And from what I picked up, Riley wants what we all do." He smiled, tilting his head to one side. "Unconditional love."

After saying my goodbyes to Danny, I spent the next hour walking, not going anywhere in particular. Anger was still overspilling, making me edgy. Angry with Emma and angry at myself for how I'd behaved with Riley. I paused my steps, not having a clue where I was.

"Goddamn, " I barked out, looking at my surroundings. I was lost in the figurative and literal sense.

What the fuck was I doing?

I couldn't let the knowledge of Emma's choices haunt me. She'd insisted she'd wanted me to love again, find that special person to share my life with.

And I had no doubt that someone was Riley.

The worry. The doubt. The hurt. I had to move past it all. For me and for Riley.

I checked my phone. Shit. I would be late if I wasted any more time. Flagging down a cab, I felt lighter than I had been in months for the first time I was moving forward without looking over my shoulder.

This was a new start.