Six weeks later and I was still a hormonal mess and apparently this was normal?

I groaned, blinking back tears... Here I go again.

Flopping down on the wooden bench. I blew out a calming breath, begging my hormones to calm the hell down.

Water... I dropped my hand under the bench and searched blindly until I found my water bottle.

"Do you need to take a break, Riley?" asked Colt, who dropped to crouch in front of me.

Colt Nash was my personal trainer.

He was a friend of Mac and Cynthia's, my bosses. And when I'd told them what had happened to me back home. They'd insisted Colt take me under his wing. And when I say personal trainer, he was teaching me some much-needed self-defence.

I never wanted to be in a position where I was vulnerable again or feel helpless and weak.

Eyes still leaking, I wiped my unwanted tears from my face and nodded, expelling a breath. "I'm good, Colt." I forced a smile. "Supposedly I'm gonna be crazier than batshit for a little while longer."

Colt was one of the few people that knew about the miscarriage, losing my little bean. I had to tell him when I'd filled out the medical form to join his class.

"It's fine Riley, I have four sisters." He watched me with his brows carved in concern. "How far along were you? If you don't mind me asking?"

The usual sharp slice of pain cut through me, the guilt that it had been my fault. If only I'd known.

"It's okay Riley. We don't have to talk about it."

"No. It's fine." I twisted the bottle lid free, not daring to look at him. "They said I was roughly four weeks along. And I know it sounds crazy but—" I stopped myself, drawing in a breath. Colt didn't need to be listening to me complain. "Sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear this."

"Don't be sorry Riley, it's fine. Talk as much as you need. I will always listen." He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. "Are you talking to anyone about it—like a professional?"

I lowered my head, shaking it.

You'll be a terrible mother, Riley Jo. The cruel voice in my head taunted me—the voice of my mama.

"You should. It will help." There was no judgement in his voice, only kindness.

"Don't you worry about me none. I'll be fine."

"I won't push you into talking." He paused. "But promise me you'll think about talking to someone."

The only person I wanted to talk to was the one person I would never see again.

Colt shifted his hand to my knee and patted it. "Wanna call it quits today? You had enough?"

Colt was a sweetheart. And you wouldn't have guessed it by looking at him. He was at least six-three and carried a mountain of muscle and had so many tattoos of skulls and crazy drawings running up both arms and, no doubt his chest and back were covered too. But underneath all that, he had a heart of twenty-four karat gold, and his nature was as softer than butter.

It didn't hurt that he was easy on the eye too.

Not that I was interested.

"Nah-ah. I'm good." I took a sip of my water. "As long as you don't mind being around crazy."

"You're not crazy Riley. You've just had a tough time."

That I wouldn't argue with.

"Okay then." He rose, and I popped my lid back on my bottle and placed it under the bench. "Let's get you on the mat." Following him. "Right, now remember what we talked about. Your elbows are a powerful weapon."

"Right. Elbows powerful." I jutted it out.

"Good. Now if they come at you from behind, I want you to make a fist." He clenched his. "And hold it with your other hand, ram it as hard as you can into the attacker's solar plexus."

He showed me the technique, and I mimicked his movements. "Got it."

"Good, Riley. Now I'm gonna come at you from behind and I want you to let me have it." He walked around me.

I was ready.

"Don't hold back," he said.

And I didn't. I wouldn't hold back ever again.

Following my training with Colt, I headed into work. Mac and Cynthia had been so kind to me since I'd returned. Although they were pretty good to me before I left for Maddy's wedding. Mac was born and raised here in New York, but Cynthia was a Southern girl through and through, having been raised just outside of Texas.

They had no children of their own and you could say they adopted me from the day they hired me.

I settled at my desk and fired up the computer. It wasn't long before the door swung open and in walked Cynthia, with two steaming mugs of coffee.

"Morning Riley Jo." She placed a mug in front of me.

I angled my head up, smiling. "You're spoiling me."

"I have no one else to spoil." She perched her behind on my desk, making herself comfortable.

"Any plans tonight Riley Jo?"

Cynthia was forever inviting me over to have supper with her and Mac. "Nope. Just me, a pizza, and Ben and Jerry. Oh, and my new book." I'd binned all my romantic books and replaced them with murder mysteries. Not as exciting, that's for sure, but they didn't fill my head with rubbish and wishful thoughts.

I knew first-hand, happy ever afters' didn't happen for everyone.

"Nah-ah. I have something better," she announced. "Don't think y'all sitting alone in that tiny apartment." She threw me a determined glare. "Tonight, you're comin' out with us."

Urgh!

"It's Angie's—" Angie was her best friend. "—Brother's birthday bash."

I wasn't in the mood for parties, and when Angie and Cynthia got together, they spent half their time trying to pair me up with someone's son... or brother.

"Thanks, that's sweet of you but—"

"No buts Riley Jo. It will stop that busy mind of yours thinking."

Cynthia was a force to be reckoned with. "Are you sure they'll be fine with me just turning up... not invited?"

"Sure, honey. They've booked out their family restaurant and you're more like family anyhow." I knew she wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Do you want Mac to swing by and pick you up?"

I shook my head. "Nah, give me the address and I'll meet you there."

"I'll message it." Cynthia squeezed her shoulders together, taking a sip of her coffee. "Angie's brother, Dylan, has lots of single friends." She wiggled her eyebrows.

Oh boy... here we go.

She added, "and Colt will be there." Her eyes smiled at me over the rim of her mug. "Have I mentioned he's single?"

Only about fifty times. "I think I recall you sayin' something."

"His last girlfriend, Monica." She rolled her eyes. "Awful isn't enough to describe that woman." She sighed. "Poor Colt. You two have something in common."

I didn't dare ask.

"A broken heart," she clarified.

I couldn't believe anyone could treat Colt badly. But I had no intention of expanding our relationship outside of my training. "Don't give me that look." I told her firmly.

"What look?" Her eyelashes fluttered up a storm.

"Don't you go getting any ideas. He's helping me train. Nothing more."

"He won't be training you forever." She put her mug down. "And the good Lord always leaves open a window when he closes a door."

She was talking about Adam. I'd spilled my guts on my first day back. Although I still couldn't bring myself to tell her I'd been pregnant and lost my little bean.

My voice was barely a whisper. "I'm not ready for anything new."

She brushed my hair from my shoulder. "Honey, the best way to fix a broken heart is to patch it up. Focus on something—" She winked. "—Or someone else."

The idea of moving on from Adam sent a streak of panic right through me. And six weeks later, my feelings hadn't lessened any.

Not that it did me any good.

I'd fallen in love with a beautiful broken man who couldn't love me.

"It will get better, Riley. Hearts mend themselves. Y'all never know when you're gonna meet Mr right and forget all about your doctor."

Doubtful.

She continued. "But in the meantime, Mr right-now won't do you any harm."

I half-heartedly smiled, peering up at her. There was no point in arguing.

"Cynthia, baby, we're ready!"

It was Mac shouting out from the other room.

"Be right there, sugar," she hollered back. She pushed up from my desk and picked up her coffee. "Be in studio two if you need us, honey."

Almost out the door, she turned, snapping her fingers. "Before I forget, Damon Saunders will drop off some stuff for Mac." She rolled her eyes. "I've mentioned it to Sally at reception, but you know that girl's biscuit is not baked in the centre, and no doubt she will forget."

Sally was sweet but rarely knew which way was up. "Don't you worry, I'll ring down and tell her to call me when he arrives."

"Thanks honey. He should be here around three, but he said he might drop by earlier if he can."

Mac shouted out for Cynthia again. "Coming grumpy!" She rolled her eyes and left to find him.

The day motored on and by the early afternoon; I was so hungry I could eat the north end of a south-bound polecat.

Thinking about my sandwich in my bag, the phone rang, and I answered.

"Hey Riley, I got a guy down here asking to see you."

It was Sally at reception. It must be Damon Saunders who Cynthia mentioned, she'd said he might be early. "I'll be right down, Sally."

Putting the phone down, I grabbed my bag from underneath the desk. I would head out and eat my lunch when I'd dealt with him.

Sally waved when she saw me coming through the door. "I told him to take a seat over there," she grinned, pointing.

I could barely see the top of his dark head of hair with the huge plant in the way.

Sally rose from her seat and braced her hands on her desk, leaning over to whisper. "He's gorgeous, Riley. Where did you find him?"

What? What on earth was she talking about? "I didn't find him anywhere. He's here to drop off some stuff for Mac."

Sally ignored me, raising her eyebrow in question. "Okay, Riley Jo. You play it cool."

Play it cool—what?

"But when you're finished with him. Throw him my way."

Unsure how to answer, I swivelled around and walked toward our seated area. Stepping around the potted plants, Mr Saunders faced the wall, looking at our line-up of wall mounted pictures. Many famous artists came to Mac and Cynthia's studio and he seemed interested in the picture of Meghan Trainor. Not that I could blame him. She was pretty.

"Hi, I'm Riley. Cynthia—" I stopped as he turned around to face me. My jaw hit the floor.

"Hey Riley."

"Danny?" I shook my head, lifting a hand. "What are you doing here?" He closed the small distance between us. "In New York," I added.

"I'm sorry to drop in. But I don't have your number or your address."

"So, you're here to see me?" I pointed to myself.

"Yeah."

My eyebrows shot up, still not following him. "Me?" I repeated.

He chuckled. "Yes, I've flown to New York to see you," he confirmed.

Wow! Knock me down with a feather. "How did you find me?"

He shifted his weight from one booted foot to the other. "I remembered you telling me you worked at a recording studio, and this is the tenth one I've visited today."

Heavens above. There were at least two hundred recording studios right here in New York and he'd been hightailing all over to find me. "Y'all crazy, you know that, right?"

He laughed. "I also remembered you mentioning the names Mac and Cynthia, your bosses and lucky for me, the last studio I visited knew them."

Panic suddenly railed through me. "Ohmygod Danny. Has something happened to Adam? Is he okay? Is that why you've come?"

He ran a hand over the back of his neck. "If you're asking if he's sick or anything, then no. He's not sick."

I heaved a relieved breath.

Danny continued. "But if you're asking me if he's okay." Slanting his head he hitched a shoulder. "No. He's not okay."

"So he's not sick, but he's not okay?" I was confused.

"I don't suppose we could talk somewhere?" he asked, suddenly looking tense and awkward.

Now I was nervous. "I was just headin' out for lunch."

His face lit up. "Great! Can I join you?"

I was hardly going to say no. "Sure. We can head down yonder—to the park. It's where I like to eat my sandwiches." I patted my bag. "We can share. I always pack too much."

The settling of his tense shoulders and relief on his face was obvious. "Thanks, but I'm not hungry."

It was only a few minutes' stroll to the park as we walked quietly side by side. "I like to sit there." I pointed toward my favourite bench.

We sat, and I opened my bag and pulled out my wrapped sandwiches. My appetite had all but evaporated with my tummy jittering like June-bug. But it kept my hands busy. "Are you sure I can't tempt you, Danny?" I lifted my sandwich, offering. "Don't need to be shy."

He waved a hand. "I'm fine, honestly."

I couldn't wait a second longer. "You fixin' on tellin' me why you've flown all this way to see me?"

"Ah, yeah..." He nodded slowly, looking uncomfortable. And I was sure Adam didn't know he was here. "How you've been Riley?" he asked.

He was stalling. "I'm doin' okay... I guess."

"I'm sorry about—" His eyes dropped to my belly. He knew about the baby.

"Some things aren't meant to be." I shrugged and unwrapped my sandwich.

"It was a terrible thing that happened to you and—" His hand clenched into a fist.

"If it's okay with you Danny, I'd rather not talk about what happened." Losing my baby and you being Adam's dead wife's son, I'd wanted to say.

He nodded; his eyes full of concern. "Yeah, yeah, shit. Sorry Riley."

I waved away his apology. "I'm all ears—anytime now."

"Sorry, I know I'm stalling. It's just awkward. He doesn't know I'm here."

I'd guessed that much. "Just tell me please, Danny. Because you're making me really nervous."

"He's a mess!" he blurted out.

"A mess?"

"It's just as bad as when we lost mom."

Oh... Silence slipped between us, and I wasn't sure what to say. I opened my mouth, then closed it. Repeating the action three times. I was doing a damn good impersonation of a guppy.

"He misses you."

My heart sank. It should have made me feel a little better that he was missing me—but it didn't. I hated the thought of Adam being sad. But if what Danny was saying was true, why hadn't he contacted me? Or come here himself?

Danny read my thoughts. "He's stubborn too." A small smile played across his lips before it dropped and something flashed across his eyes. "It doesn't help that they suspended him from work."

"What!?"

"Oh, yeah. You wouldn't know."

I sat and listened whilst he told me what had happened. How he'd drove out to my mama's house and hunted down Clay and punched him. I couldn't believe my Nana or Conner hadn't found the time to tell me. But I guess they didn't want me to worry.

"It's my fault." This was awful. I broke out into a sob, clapping my hands over my face.

I felt Danny's hard on my arm; pulling me sideward, tucking me under his arm. "Jesus, I'm sorry Riley. Please don't cry. It's okay now. Your nana fixed it. He can go back to work, starting Monday."

I lowered my hands, sniffling, pulling back just far enough, so he had to drop his arm. "So they didn't fire him?"

He smiled, shaking his head. "No."

The relief swept through me as I swiped away my tears, taking a deep breath. "I'm still not sure why you're here."

"I was hoping you would come back to Lockwood."

Go back?

"Go back—you want—I. I—no." I stumbled over my words as he grabbed my hand in his.

"Please Riley. Come back with me. I know you can both fix this."

I looked down as his thumb stroked across my knuckle. Any other time, that would have been soothing. He didn't realise what he was asking of me. How hard it had been to walk away. "Please don't ask me, Danny. I can't—"

"Why? Give him a second chance, Riley."

Side to side, my head moved. "No. You're wrong, Danny. And as much as I wish it were different. Adam can't love me."

My stupid heart bumped hard against my ribs.

"I think you're wrong. If you could see how he's been since you left. He might go through the motions. Breathing. Eating—"

I interrupted, and he drew his hand back. "If what you say is true, Danny—he would be sitting where you are right now." His desperate pleas changed nothing. "I'm sorry Danny. I can't live up to your mom. He loves Emma and I don't think he's ever going to get over losing her." And I didn't want to live in her shadow.

His face fell but hope lingered. "Do you love him, Riley?"

I hesitated but answered honestly. "Yes."

"Then please... reconsider."

Reconsider—Could I?

I angled my chin in defiance but my heart screamed to be listened to, hope swelling...my spirit was close to breaking. "Please stop, Danny." I choked back a sob. "It's too late," my voice pitched higher. "I can't wait around, hoping one day he might love me."

His shoulders sagged and his dark eyebrows pinched. "I'm sorry Riley." He looked down and then slowly lifted his head, sighing. "I know it's selfish of me to ask."

My voice softened, as the pressure on my chest eased. "I get it. You care about Adam."

He slowly nodded. "I guess it was worth a try."

My insides trembled but I steadied my voice and held my resolve to protect my heart from further hurt. "I'm sorry Danny. I wish it was different."

"Chris said it was a crazy idea."

"He's lucky to have you and Chris." I peered down at my sandwich. It looked even less appealing now, knowing Adam was suffering halfway across the county. "Are you heading back today? Back home?"

"I didn't know how long it would take to find you, so I'm here for another two." He relaxed back, stretching his legs out in front. "I don't suppose you're doing anything tonight?"

Shit. I had plans. "Sorry, I have a thing tonight." Internally cringing.

"Oh—like a date?"

My cheeks heated. "No, not a date."

"Sorry—that's none of my business."

"I'm free tomorrow night." For some crazy reason I wanted to see him again, he was my last link to Adam.

That put a smile on his face. "Let me take you out for dinner. My way of saying sorry for being an ass."

"You don't have to be sorry. It was nice to see you." I liked Danny.

"Is that a yes... to dinner?"

"Yeah, dinner would be nice." I lifted my phone from my bag. "I'm sorry, I have to head back to work now."

His eyes settled on my uneaten sandwich. "You haven't eaten. That's my fault for upsetting you."

"Don't fret, I wasn't hungry anyway."

He stood and hooked his thumb over his shoulder. "C'mon I'll walk you back."