"Are you vibrating, Doctor?" Riley giggled.

What? Oh... my phone. I pulled it from my pocket. It was Chris. "Hey."

"You home?" he asked.

"Out with Riley. Be back home in ten." I glanced at Riley. "Everything okay back home?"

"Yeah, yeah. All good. Listen, I'm heading your way. See you ten-fifteen. Oh and say hello to Riley."

My eyes were still on Riley. "Chris says hi."

She briefly turned. "Oh, well, tell him I said hi right back."

I smiled. "Riley says hi and I'll see you in ten."

Ending the call, shoving my phone in my pocket. I snook another peek at Riley. She was nibbling on her bottom lip. She'd been quiet nearly the whole drive back.

A weird niggly feeling tugged at my chest. Something was going on, something she didn't want me to know or felt unable able to confide in me.

"I've had a great time today, Riley... thank you."

Turning from the road, her face lifted into a warm smile, but it never reached her eyes, they still seemed sad, haunted. "Me too, and you don't need to thank me. I enjoy spending time with you." She returned her attention to driving.

I liked spending time with her. "Are you sure nothing's worrying you?" It was worth another try.

"Honesty, nothing to tell." Her words seemed genuine. Perhaps I was just reading too much into something that wasn't there.

"Okay, but if you change your mind. You can tell me anything."

Briefly catching my eyes, she flashed me another smile. "Thank you." She double blinked. "That means a lot, and you're officially added to the list of people I will miss when I head back to New York."

She was going to miss me? "You have a list—and am I at the bottom of this list?" I jested.

"Trust me, Adam, it's not that long."

Fuck, and there it was again. The reminder clenched a fist around my throat, and the ache in my chest was very real, charring me more than I wanted to admit...

She was going home.

"I'm free tomorrow if you want to drop by." I wanted to spend as much time with her as she would allow me.

"Yeah?" She seemed genuinely surprised. "You not had enough of me, yet?"

Not by a long shot. "I'm taking full advantage whilst you're here, as no doubt you will forget me quick enough, when you're back in the big city."

Barring Alzheimer's, I would never forget Riley. I shifted my attention to the passing scenery, hating the tightening across my chest, but my eyes saw nothing apart from the empty feeling that lay ahead when she left Lockwood.

"You're the last person I'll ever forget, Adam." Her voice was sad and a little distant.

The words left my mouth before my head caught up. "Perhaps we can stay in touch?"

Easing up on the pedal. The car slowed as her head whipped in my direction, her loose hair caught on the breeze, blowing across her face. I reached out and shifted the wayward strands behind her ear. Her entire face lit up, smiling brighter than any sun I'd seen lately.

"I'd like that, and maybe you could visit." Her excitement was intoxicating.

And maybe I could visit—It was only a three-hour flight. What was stopping me? And suddenly it became an enticing prospect.

Refocusing on driving, even from her side profile I could she her smile. And I liked that I'd put it there. Riley had the most beautiful smile. I only wished it could be bottled and used to smother everything that darkened my thoughts when I was alone.

She added, "and I'd love to swing by tomorrow."

Yes! "Great, how about I make us lunch, pay you back for today?" And I could think of a few other ways I could pay her back.

"You don't have to do that; it was my pleasure." She parked the car in front of my house, leaving the engine running.

"I know, but I want to."

"Well, how can a girl say no?"

With her hand on the gear-stick, I stroked across her knuckles. Her breath caught and a quick glance up had me wanting to kiss her badly, as if my life depended on it. I stole a look over my shoulder. The smile from my face dropped as I yanked back my hand. Coming up my drive was Tiffany Saint-Clare. Urgh.

Groaning. "We have company."

Riley glanced in her rear-view mirror. "Oh joy," she muttered.

"Let me handle this." I opened the door and stepped out. "Mrs Saint-Clare."

Her chemically induced painted lips pouted. "Adam, how many times do I have to say this–it's Tiffany."

Biting back a snarky comment. "What can I do for you—Tiffany?"

She glanced at Riley; eyebrows perched high. "Oh, it's you Riley Jo." She made a tiny humph sound. "Your mama said you were leaving town."

I cleared my throat, catching her attention. "Oh, why yes. Sorry to interrupt, but I think I've just blown a fuse, and I was wondering if you could pop over and look." Tiffany turned, pointing over the road. "I tried sweet Mr Jenkins at number eleven, but he's not home, although his car is parked out front."

Yeah, probably had the good sense not to answer the door. And she wasn't getting me inside her house either.

"I'm sorry, Tiffany, but I don't know a thing about electrics. You will need to call an electrician." I said flatly.

Tiffany's mouth fell open, momentarily stunned by my answer. "Oh," she pursed her lips. "Well, that leaves me no choice but to wait for Mr Jenkins to return."

Forcing a smile. "Guess so." Lucky Mr Jenkins.

Tiffany smiled, not so sweetly this time, and then glanced at Riley. "I'll be going then." She inclined her head. "Riley Jo."

Riley's mouth split into a wide grin. "Bye Mrs Saint-Clare," not even trying to hide her cheeriness.

Shoulders relaxed, I shifted my attention to Riley walking around to her side of the car as Tiffany's heels faded on the breeze. Riley giggled. "No doubt she'll be speed-dialing my mama."

"It won't get you in any trouble?"

"Me, nah. Believe when I say I'm the last person my mama wants to talk to."

She said it with surety and something else I couldn't put my finger on. For a few seconds neither of us said anything, just gazing at each one another, delaying her leaving. Should I ask her in? I could at least kiss her in private.

"Well, I'd better be going. Does one suit you, tomorrow?"

Oh, right. "Yeah, one's good. Looking forward to it." I patted the car. "You drive safely, Riley."

"Always do... doctor." She winked as she put the car in reverse and slowly pulled away from my house.

Turning the air con higher, no more than a few minutes passed, and I heard a knock on my door. Surely it wasn't Chris. He'd use his key?

Had Riley forgotten something? I paused my steps. Shit, what if it was Tiffany? Rolling my eyes, I headed to the door. Whatever she was going to ask, it would be a no.

Opening the front door, my stomach sank. The person standing on my doorstep was less welcome than my surgical enhanced neighbour.

Christ!

It was Helen.

Swapping shifts with Chris, I'd avoided her. "Hi Helen, what brings you here?" My tone was cool.

"May I come in Adam?" She at least did me the courtesy of looking a little sheepish.

I hesitated before stepping aside. "Sure, come in. I'm expecting Chris any minute."

"Oh, I can come back later?"

"No, I'll be busy later." I wasn't.

She strolled in, hands clasped behind her back, casually looking around. "It's a lovely home you have here, Adam"

"Thanks." She followed me into the kitchen. "Can I offer you a drink? Coffee, tea perhaps?" I offered out of habit, cursing my good manners.

"No, thank you."

I headed to my coffee machine, prepping one for myself and Chris.

"Right." I swung around, leaning up against the counter, folding my arms across my chest. "What can I do for you?"

Helen shifted from one foot to the other, looking up. "I just wanted to apologise for Saturday night and clear the air." Her eyes dropped to mine as she pushed her hair behind her ear. "And hopefully salvage our friendship. I realise now I was totally out of order."

I didn't want to rehash that conversation. "It's done and forgotten Helen."

"Thank you." She smiled. "So can we arrange that dinner. Peace offering?"

Unfolding my arms, I ran a hand across my forehead. "Look, it's not a good idea—"

She interrupted, snapping back at me. "I thought you said you were fine?"

"And we are, but I don't want to socialise with anyone at the moment." It wasn't a complete lie.

"What, so you'll go to a bar with Chris," she waved her hand, adding, "—and the Lockwood girl?"

I pushed up from the counter. "Where and who I choose to spend my time with is none of yours or anyone's business."

She huffed, "You know you're risking your position at Mercy?" Throwing up her hands. "And for what, some—" She stopped mid-way through her rant, ears pricking.

"Adam, you in here?" Phew, saved by Chris.

Helen's hands dropped, her shoulders pulled back.

"Kitchen, Chris."

Chris barrelled into the kitchen to halt his steps, his eyes on Helen. "Oh, didn't realise you had company."

I'd never been happier to see my best friend. "Helen was just leaving."

Helen's head darted like tennis, batting between me and Chris. "You two are no different!" she spat out.

"Hey—what have I've done? I've only just got here?" asked Chris.

I raised my brows, silently questioning this woman's mental state.

Helen tilted her chin up in defiance, eyes sharpened to a point. "It's pathetic—you're old enough to be her father." She blew out through her nose. "And your wife is barely cold in her—"

A sickening feeling sluiced through my guts. The air froze in my lungs. Throat locked tight, I reached behind me grasping the counter.

"Enough!" Chris growled. "Stop-right there." He hitched a thumb over his shoulder. "Leave right now, before I forget I'm a gentleman and carry you out."

Face like thunder, her level stare burned into me before dropping. "I'm done here." She flicked her hair and flounced out.

Fuck.

Chris followed her out, and I heard the front door slam. He turned up a second later as shame rooted me in the spot.

"What the fuck was her problem?"

Swallowing the lump. "She implied there's something going on between me and Riley." I let go of the counter, stepping toward the table.

"What? How does she know?"

"I don't know. Call it women's intuition?" It hit me. Shit! I scrubbed my hand down my face. "She might have seen me kiss Riley outside the bar on Saturday."

I'd been an idiot, and she wasn't wrong. Emma had only been gone six months and Riley was barely in her twenties.

What the fuck was I doing...thinking? I slid into a chair, dropping my head into my hands.

"Hey. No, no, no. Don't go there buddy." Chris yanked out a chair.

My head lifted. "She's not wrong."

"She is wrong." He gripped my shoulder. "Riley did something for you that none of us were able to."

Eh? "What?"

He sighed. "Breathed life into you." The coffee machine beeped and Chris shot up. "Stay, I got this."

He returned to the table, drinks in hand. "You were nothing more than a shell, Adam."

He pushed the cup toward me. "And you've done nothing wrong." He inserted a breath. "No one would hold it against you for finding a little happiness, Adam."

Then why did the guilt gut me? The grief had removed me from the world and I'd not cared. But this guilt was just as harsh, it tore strips leaving me raw. What right did I have to be happy when Emma was dead and I'd moved on to someone else in six month's. What the fuck did that say about me as a man?

Chris's dark brows drew together. "I see what you've doing and you need to stop."

I wanted to shrink from under his scrutiny.

"Emma wanted you to live. Wanted you to be happy. Don't forget that."

I lifted the cup on autopilot, taking a sip and immediately regretted it. Grimacing, the bitter mix of coffee and Helen's words was tough to swallow.

"And don't let that bitter and twisted woman get to you." He growled. "She doesn't know shit."

Setting the cup down, my mind looked for a diversion, the first thing that came to mind. "What's with you two, anyway?" I asked.

It was his turn to grimace. "Back in college, I'd asked her out."

Okay, that didn't sound so bad. "And?"

"Well, she said she wanted to think about it, and would give me an answer when she returned from spring break." He shrugged. "I met her roommate two nights later at a bar. Jessie or Jane...And one thing led to another, and we ended up in bed."

Yeah, that sounded like Chris. "Helen returned the next morning and to make it worse, we'd fucked on her bed."

Ouch! "Bit of a dick move, Chris."

"Yeah, but c'mon on, we weren't dating and how the fuck was I to know it was her bed?" He blew over the top of his coffee. "She always preferred you, anyway."

Yeah, I figured that one out. "Not anymore."

"Trust me, that's not a bad thing." He grinned.

He stood and slapped me on the back. "Hey, I got doughnuts. I'll grab them from the car."

Returning, we changed the subject to his parents, but it didn't last.

"Anyway, tell me what you and Riley were up to today."

I told him about our picnic, minus details. "Damn, she's something else," he said.

"She is." It didn't surprise me that he liked her. I couldn't imagine anyone not liking Riley.

"Any chance you can talk her into staying—y'know after the wedding?"

"You know that's not a good idea, Chris." I couldn't give Riley what she wanted, not to mention her family troubles. If I had a mother like Mercy Jane, I'd live as far away as possible.

"No, I don't know. Have you asked her?"

I shook my head, not wanting to have this conversation. "Leave it Chris."

"What?"

"We've been lucky her mother hasn't found out."

"C'mon, would it be so bad if she did?"

What the hell? "Are you serious?"

"Yeah." He opened the box of doughnuts, scanning over the variety of flavours. "To hell with what people think, and that includes her mother."

Why couldn't he understand? "Chris, I could lose my job, my reputation." I didn't want to be forced out from the place where I'd met Emma. So much of Emma was still there, and I wasn't ready to move on from that... yet.

"Adam, Mercy isn't the only hospital. I can list ten right off my head that would throw open their arms and welcome you."

"Listen, I know you mean well, but can we please drop it."

"Give me a good reason why the hell not?"

Her age and she wants children. "First off the bat, I'm not ready to dive into any kind of serious relationship, and Riley deserves someone who can give her so much more than I can."

"I'm not saying run off to Vegas and get married. Just let it ride out, see what comes of it."

"She's young Chris. She wants the dream."

"Dream— What dream? "

"The dream. Marriage. Children. No doubt a house white a picket fence and all that happy ever after bullshit."

"Ahhh, and you don't want kids?" he paused. "You love Danny though, right?" He shrugged. "He was a great kid."

I did, but it wasn't the same as raising a kid from scratch. "Danny was easy. He was ten when I met Emma. So no, Chris. Having kids is the last thing I want." I could easily picture Riley with lots of children. "So as you can see, it wouldn't work out."

He fished out a doughnut, pushing the box my way. "I think you're a fool to pass up a good thing."

He still wasn't getting it. "Chris. Will you quit it? It wouldn't be fair to Riley. I could never love her like I loved Emma." Sometimes his casual outlook on life rubbed me up the wrong way. "I can't just replace Emma."

"For Christ's sake, man, I'm not saying replace Emma, but you can love more than one person." He tore into his doughnut. "There's a big ole heart in there somewhere."

The defiant look on his face lit the match to my short fuse.

"How the hell would you know, Chris?" He didn't flinch. "You're a serial dater. You've never once seen the possibility in any of the women you string along."

Chris raised both eyebrows, swallowing. "Okay, fair point. If it happens and I act like an asshole, then you have my permission to kick my ass!" He didn't look away, smiling instead.

Grumbling, I wasn't judging Chris, in fact, sometimes I wish I could have his outlook on life. But on this point, he was wrong.

"Okay, okay... fine. I'll drop it."

Finally.

Waking up the next morning, I hadn't lied to Riley about my dreams. And last night had been no different. As usual, Emma had been in my thoughts till I slipped off to sleep, but that's when Riley made her grand entrance. Pushing out any sadness. And when I woke, I felt a little less lonely, maybe even a little less sad.

But dreaming about Riley had another side-effect. Raising my head, glancing between my legs, it didn't surprise me to see my cock at full attention. I was like a teenager who couldn't control his urges.

What the hell? I was almost forty. I should be able to control my body.

It twitched in reply... Apparently not.

My balls were heavy, achy. "Fuck." Slipping my hand down, my fingers curled around the length and in seconds images of Riley flooded my head, making it even harder in my grip.

It was the same every day—the barn came first. Flashes of her long dark hair, green eyes as she unwrapped her dress to reveal those sumptuous curves. Dropping to her knees, slowly her lips sucked in my length, her small hands circled the base and her big eyes stared up at me.

Jesus! I tightened my fist, stroking faster.

Next vivid image was fucking Riley from behind. The way she gripped my cock as I tugged on her braid as she cried out my name and Christ, those sexy little noises she makes.

Fuck, fuck. "Yessssssss." Heart pounding. Almost...almost... the drawing up of my balls and the tingling at the bottom of my spine had me clenching my eyes tightly shut.

A strangled cry erupted as a string of cum shot past my clasped fingers.

Heavy breathing. My heart slowed as I lay my head back, staring up at the ceiling, blankly.

Soon enough, this would be my only relief... and the memories.

My mood dropped as I forced myself to sit up and witness the mess. I would need to change the sheets... again.

With a sticky hand, I made my way to the bathroom, flipping on the shower. What I hadn't confessed to Chris yesterday was how much I would miss Riley. From that smile to her sweet outlook on life.