Uhhh prepare yourself for a bit of sadness ig lol.

Alexa's POV

After ten minutes of laying with Ally as she sleeps I get up as slowly and quietly as possible and leave her room, my feet just seem to know where they are going, I go and slide my shoes on since I already had sock on I just slid them on, I make sure I have my phone and but on a jacket that's on the hanger by the door.

I step outside and keep walking and walking and walking, feeling like I have no feeling at all, like my soul is numb, including my body, I don't even feel the wind that is blowing so hard in my face, I can't feel the way my feet hit the ground after every step I take.

I almost feel like I'm not even in my own body.

Soon I realize I'm at the big hill where Ally took me when we first confessed our love to eachother.

I sit down and check what time it is, it read 4:38am.

I just sit there staring at the stars that don't seem as bright and beautiful as they always do to me.

I lay down and just stare as my mind just keeps running.

As I lay here with no feeling at all but numbness, all the memories I have of this place with her come back to me.

-flash back 1-

"That's five for me and three for you" she says to me as she feels proud for having seing more shooting stars than I did.

Truth be told i had actually already seen seven but she was having a difficult day so I let her have this time to be happy.

"I saw another!" We both say in sync as we see the same one.

"Now I have six and you have four, I'm still winning haha!"

I smile at her as she looks back up at the stars, I thought that I would never find something more beautiful than the stars, but now I see that I was completely wrong.

The way she swings her little feet back and forth and moves her head slightly side to side probably thinking of a song.

"The stars are so gorgeous" she says as she still keeps staring at the stars.

I just hum in response.

-end of Flashback 1-

-flashback 2-

"Here" I grab the blanket that I brought and wrap it around her, I sit next to her and grab some of the blanket and wrap it around me as well.

"Thanks baby" she kisses my cheek and makes me smile hard.

"Here" I give her her hot chocolate that I carried for her.

"Thank you" she gives me another kiss.

I than look at my phone to make sure my mom or her dad hasn't called me.

"Baby you're gonna miss the sunrise!" She grabs my phone and puts it in her pocket.

"Sorry, I was just checking real quick"

"Its okay"

She sets her head on my shoulder and we just sit in comfortable silence as we just look at the sunrise.

After twenty minutes of silence I finally break it once the sunrise is over, "I love you"

She picks her head up and sets her empty cup on the side of her, she gets up and straddles me, "I love you" she says in a small baby voice, my heart melts and at that moment I realize I am completely in love with her.

She connects our lips and kisses me with so much love, I kiss her back with just as much as love.

I pull back after I need to breathe and set my empty cup down as well.

I embrace her in a long hug and she rests her head on my chest and I rest my head on hers.

-end of Flashback 2-

-flashback 3-

She lays the blanket on the ground, we both sit down and watch the sunset.

She sighs, than sighs again.

"What's wrong baby?"

"I wanna have sex with you"

I laugh at her, "I love you" is all I say as I look back at the sun setting.

She lays her head on my shoulder and than puts her hand on my thigh and slowly starts to move it upwards.

"Baby no" I move her hand and she pouts at me.

"Baby I don't wanna just have sex with you, I wanna make love to you as the sunsets, pleasee"

I shake my head side to side knowing j can't ever actually say no to her, "fine"

I look up at her and she has a big smile plastered on her face which makes me smile as well.

She grabs my hands and pulls me towards her and makes me straddle her, she looks up at me and we both look at eachother in the eyes for a moment.

She slowly pulls me in for a kiss, when our lips finally meet each others it makes butterflies erupt in my stomach as she very delicately kisses me.

Through the whole time of her making love to me she takes extra time as she kisses all my insecure scars and stretch marks, and she takes her extra time looking at my body and I guess she was just maybe admiring it or memorizing it.

The whole moment was one of my best with her and at this place made it even better.

-end of flashbacks-

Before I know it tears are pouring out of my eyes and my hands are now bleeding cause I was squeezing my fists so hard that my fingernails dug into my skin.

I sit up as all of the good and bad and easy ans hard moments I had with her keep popping up in my thoughts.

Soon all my feeling comes back to me, I feel the small rocks under my butt, I feel the cold wind blowing through my hair and on my face, I feel the aching in my palms from my nails.

I burst out crying so loudly and so hard that I'm sure people can hear me from their houses close to the hill.

"FUUUUUCKKK!!!" I yell so loudly at the top of my lungs.

I get on my knees and cry, I pray even though I know no one is up there listening.

"God pleaseeee plessee I can't- I can't lose her! Shes the fucking love of my life!!" I yell and cry out.

"I CAN'T!! I- I JUST CAN'T!!" I continue to yell.

I scream so loudly that it hurts my throat, I than get on my hands and knees and keep crying.

I sit down still being on my knees and get down on my elbows (like a turtle ig) and start to smack the ground.

"I CAN'T LOSE HER TOO! I-" my voice starts to get lower from starting to lose if from screaming so loud, "i- I can't!"

"FUCCKKKK!!!" I yell one last time before I can't even speak anymore from losing my voice.

So I just sit there crying and crying with my throat burning, my fists hurting from smacking the ground, my palms stinging from my nails and my heart shattered in a million pieces.

I cry until I can't no more, I cry until I realize the the sun I already up.

I look at my phone and realize it's almost eight am and I have missed calls from Ally and her dad.

I'm about to call Ally back but my phone dies right than.

"Fuck" I say with my voice all messed up.

I just sit there for a while to let my eyes get a little less red and less puffy.

After thirty minutes I walk down and to a store close by, I get two bottles of water with money that I always have in my phone case.

I use one bottle to clean my hand from all the dry blood and to wash off my face, the other bottle I drink and keep with me for the rest of the walk to Ally's.

Every now and than I'd splash a little on my face to help the puffiness go down, once I'm two block away from her house I grab my phone and use the blackness of the screen as a mirror to check my face to make sure its not noticeable that I've been crying for hours.

Once I know I'm good I keep walking.

I get to her house and walk right in and I hear two men talking along with Ally, I walk down the hallway and into the living room and I see Jack, Ally and a policeman standing there.

"And when was the last time you saw her?"

"Around three am" ally says with a shaky voice.

Are they talking about me?

"Oh, I'm sorry ma'am but we can't do anything until a person is missing for over forty eight hours"

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?" both jack and ally yell at the same time.

"This is the love of my life we're talking about!" Ally says lowering he voice a little probably realizing that she's speaking to a cop.

I smile at her as I feel warmth spread through my heart and body.

"Yeah this is my fucking daughter we're talking about!" Jack says which makes me smile even more as I feel even more wormth spread.

Ally than looks to her side as I walk more out into the open, she gasps and runs over to me.

She runs up to me and embraces me in a tight hug and lifts me up off of the floor, a minute later Jack joins us in the hug.

"Okay... I'm guessing this is the younge lady you both were talking about.

"Yes it is" Jack says still hugging us both.

"Okay well I'll just see myself out," he starts to walk down the hall but than stops and turns around, "oh and younge lady, you are very lucky to have these two in your life, they kept us quite a fight through the phone call and over at the office and over here as well"

I smile at him and just nod, knowing that I cant count on my voice right now.

He just nods back at me walks out.

After a minute we all finally pull back from the hug but than Ally hugs me again which makes me feel bad that I left.

"Where have you been missy!" Jack says raising his tone.

Before I can even try to answer Ally steps in.

"Dad, can I please talk to her first?"

Jack looks at her than at me and than again and than nods, "you better atleast give her some attitude" he tries whispering to only her but I end up hearing it as well.

She nods and grabs my hand and pulls me over to her room, she shuts the door and pulls me over to her bed and sits me down on it, she startles me and embraces me with another hug.

I soon hear small sniffles from her which makes me feel really bad, "I thought I lost you" she says as her voice cracks at the end I feel little tears fall on my chest.

I quickly blink away my tears and just rub her back trying to let her know that I'm trying to say sorry.

After five minutes she calms down a little and than gets off of me, "WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU!?" she yells at me which makes me flinch automatically expecting her to smack me from being used of being abused by my mom at home.

Before I can even answer she just continues yelling at me.

"YOU CAN'T JUST FUCKING UP AND LEAVE LIKE THAT!" I than realize that she's squeezing her fists shut really tightly.

"WHERE DID YOU EVEN FUCKING GO!?" Tears start to form in her eyes probably from so much anger.

I look down, I can't speak good by being so hoarse, maybe all that water that I drank helped and the fact that I let my voice rest for a while, "I-" I still don't wanna tell her that I was out there crying for hours worrying about her health, "i- just wanted to get some water" i say as slowly as possible without my voice cracking from being hoarse.

"YOU WERE GONE FOR HOURS ALEXA!" damn it's been a while since she's used my name, she must be really angry.

"I'm sorry Ally, I just needed a little air is all" I keep my gaze down to my hands as I fiddle around with them to try not to cry.

She stays silent for a few seconds, "I- I was just scared that i- I lost the most important thing in my life- the love of my life- i thought i lost it all- i- I wouldn't have been able to keep living if you were gone"

I look up at her and she immediately looks for my eyes, when mine meet hers I now see that she has tears pouring down her cheeks, my vision goes blurry for a second as my eyes fill with tears as well.

She steps closer to me and she gets on her knees and lays her head on my lap as she wraps her arms around me and completely breaks down and sobs.

A huge lump in my throat forms as i watch my gorgeous love completely breakdown because of me, "i- I'm sorry i yelled i was just- you don't understand how much you worried me" she manages to say between sobs.

"I didn't mean to be out for so long my love, I just- my phone died so I lost track of time, it won't happen again baby, I promise" my voice is slowly becoming a little better.

She gets up off of the floor and straddles me again as she wipes her tears away a yawn escapes her little baby mouth, " it's okay baby, I forgive you, I love you" she rests her head on my shoulder and lightly wraps her arms around my body but they immediately fall off as she slowly stats falling to sleep.

"Okay princess, let's get you to bed" I stand up and carry her to her side of the bed and lay her down.

"Please lay with me baby" she says with her eyes still closed.

"Of course my love"

I take hers and my pants off and I lay down by her, she turns to me and gets on me and lays her whole body on mine like she usually does when she really wants to be close to me.

She kisses my chest probably being too tired to pick her head up, I kiss her back on her head and than help her calm down by playing with her hair.

She hums contentedly and than I feel her heartbeat slow down to her normal pace, ten minutes later I feel her small little sleep breaths, I look at her and it makes my heart flutter.

I contentedly fall asleep as well, knowing that I will atleast have the love of my life by my side for another year makes me somewhat sad but also happy having the opportunity to have her one more year, its probably one more year than what most people have.

I doze off into sleep with a smile on my face a couple of tears run down my cheeks.