《The Frozen Rose》CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: A helping sister
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Two weeks of heartache and misery had passed. Elizabeth had not heard of William. She did not expect to, but could a woman not hope?
No, she could not. Her hopes only got crushed. And when it came to William, twas always worse than with anything else.
She startled from a knock on her door. She ignored it, for the person would leave if she did not answer. But the door opened and without a sound Mary entered. She came to sit next to Elizabeth on her bed and wrapped an arm around her waist. She let her head rest on her shoulder.
"I do not want to fall in love," Mary said. "It hurts too much."
Elizabeth tried to smile, but she did not succeed. "It only hurts if you love the wrong person."
"I do not want to risk it. If even you can get hurt so, I do not want to know what life has in store for me."
Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her sister and pulled her closer. "Life is good to you if you are good to people."
"But you are great to people. Why does life treat you so badly, then?"
She planted her lips on Mary's hair. "I do not know."
"I also do not understand why a man may lose his virtue while a woman may not. it is not-"
"Mary," Elizabeth interrupted her calmly, for she did not find it in her to be angry or severe, "may we please talk of something else."
She felt her sister nod. "Of course. I am sorry."
She gave Mary another kiss on her hair.
"Do you remember Arthur's teddy bear?" she asked after a few minutes of silence.
"He had a teddy bear?"
"Yes, a light brown one with a green bow."
Mary seemed to think of it. "I do remember a light brown teddy bear with a green bow. Was it truly Arthur's?"
Elizabeth nodded. "He took it everywhere."
Mary turned her head to look at her sister. "Why is Arthur's teddy bear a better conversation than my plea for women?"
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"Because I found it back."
"You found what back?"
"Arthur's teddy bear."
Mary frowned. "Where did you find that?"
"Twas on my chair one day."
"Who put it there?"
Elizabeth shrugged. "I do not know. But I hid it."
"Why?"
"Too many bad memories."
"Of the bear, or of its owner."
She gave Mary an pity smile. "Both."
"What did the bear ever do wrong?"
"He was too attached to its owner."
"I remember Andrew walking around with a light brown bear."
Elizabeth nodded. "Arthur would encourage him to take it from him. But every time Andrew did, Arthur would start shouting and blamed Andrew of stealing the bear."
"That is mean."
"That is Arthur."
"Then I am glad he is gone." Elizabeth nodded in agreement. The bear had come to her mind every time she saw the chair, and it made her think she should throw the piece of furniture away.
A sudden knock on the door startled both ladies.
"Elizabeth," their mother's voice said from the other side of the door. "You have a visitor."
She shared a look with Mary, who was shaking her head. Do not give in to William she seemed to want to say.
"Who is it?" Elizabeth asked.
She heard lady Anne sigh loudly. "Not William, if that is what you are frightened of."
Elizabeth looked at Mary again, who was now giving her a why not shrug.
"Alright," Elizabeth said. "I will be down in a minute."
She gave Mary one last hug like she was prepared for battle, then walked out of her room. Lady Anne was still in the hallway, waiting for her.
"Be kind," she told her daughter as she passed by. "She is in the parlour."
Elizabeth nodded and walked to the parlour, all the while wondering who "she" could be. She did not have many friends and she was not expecting any either. But since it was a woman, it meant it was not William, and that was a relief.
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She opened the door to the parlour, the froze on the spot. Out of all the women she might have expected, this one had not even come to mind.
"Elizabeth," Emily said with a curtsy. Elizabeth curtsied back, uncertain if she should stay or walk away. She did not want to speak to William, but she also did not want to speak about him.
"My brother did not push me to do this," Emily said, not waiting for Elizabeth to greet her or ask if she wanted tea. "I pushed William to let me do this."
"I do not want to speak of him," Elizabeth said coldly.
It did not startle Emily, for she continued speaking like Elizabeth had not said anything. "He is hurt by his own actions. It is all on him, I know that. And he knows that too. But he can never ask for your forgiveness if you do not allow him to talk to you."
That was true, Elizabeth must admit. But still she did not want to speak to him for he had hurt her too many times now. And beside: "he has not even tried yet."
"Because he knows you," Emily said with a pity smile. "He knows you will not speak to him if he asks for it."
"He left London."
"And he came back."
Elizabeth let out a mocking laughter that more resembled a sigh. "Not to me."
Emily looked down and shook her head. "He has made mistakes, I am aware of it. But does everybody not make mistakes?"
"Not the same one twice," Elizabeth answered her coldly.
"But do you not love him? All of his idiocy and stupidity, but also his kindness."
"He does not show a lot of kindness," Elizabeth argued, "when he gives me all my hope and then takes it away like he has done before."
"Yes, but-"
"It is not about the pain he caused me," she interrupted. She did not want to hear any more good words about William. Not only because it hurt to think of him in a good way, but also because she might have to agree with her. "It is about the trust that is completely lost now. It is about the future I no longer have now. It is about my heart he broke not once, but twice now. How do you expect I ought to live my life now? Unhappy in the present and doomed in the future with bad memories of the past."
"It can change," Emily said with a soothing voice. "He can change. If you allow him to ask for your apologies, if you listen to what he has to say, you will realize how much he regrets what he has done."
"Then he should have learned from the first time that running away is not pleasing for the heart."
Emily sighed and dropped her hands. "He loves you, Elizabeth. He might not admit it, but we all know it. You met when you were so young, and he has never looked at another girl like he looks at you. Whenever he starts talking about you, it is like he is losing control and he cannot stop. He would start up a conversation with you as the topic. Even when he promised himself he would not fall for you again, I know that you were all that was on his mind. You have an influence on him, whether you know it or not, and it does him good. You make him happy. And stupid, because that seems to be what William does when he is in love – stupid things."
She walked closer to Elizabeth and took her hands in hers. "At least give him a chance to explain, even if it is just to torture him by walking away afterwards."
She liked that idea – giving him hope and then taking it away like he had done to her. But she knew that if she would listen to him, he might be able to convince her of his love for her. And she would foolishly believe him, for is that not what everyone is when in love – a fool?
Emily must have seen the doubt in her eyes, for she said: "he is outside."
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