William felt awful.

Mayhap he had not only ripped out his own heart, but hers as well. And not knowing if she was hurt because of him, or glad he was gone, was a feeling he hated even more than the pain of a heart ache.

But then he scoffed. Of course she was hurt because of him. She had admitted she had been hurt when he left her the first time, so why would this time be any different? He could tell himself she did not love him as much as she did before, but he knew that was a lie. She had said he was still her whole world. And if he did not believe her words, then her actions should speak loud enough.

They had made love.

And it was the best thing that ever happened to him. Yet he could not stay. He could not make that mistake again.

A part of him wondered if it was a mistake. Did he not do it because he wanted it? Did he not start undressing her? Had he not found her the most beautiful woman in the world?

But he shook his head. Of course it was a mistake. She had lied to him once, and he could not expect her to never do it again. And even if he could, the trust was broken. They would never be able to fully trust each other again. He had left because she made a mistake, but he gave in and pretended he had forgiven her. He had given her false hope and she had believed him. She had, for she still loved him and she wanted it to be true.

Unfortunately he was not the one who had to live with what they had done. She no longer had a virtue, so she was not able to marry a good, noble man.

Because he ruined her.

He had ruined her virtue, her purity and her future. And probably her heart and faith in men as well. The ever strong Elizabeth might not be so strong anymore because he had been too weak to begin with.

Suddenly he heard a commotion in the hallway, and before he could stand up, the door to his study slammed open.

"You will not ruin my sister and get away with it," Thomas Brompton said, his finger pointing at William.

"Thomas," Andrew said behind the young man. His friend stepped forward toward William and only stopped when they were face to face.

William knew what was to come. He knew he would get punished for hurting their sister. Only he had hoped to be out of Hawthorne before they could arrive.

He opened his arms wide. "Go on. Hit me. I deserve it."

Andrew nodded. "Damn well you do. But I will not please you."

"I thought you said we would beat him up," Thomas said confused.

"We will," Andrew answered his brother while keeping his stern eyes on William. "But not when he is prepared for it. Mental pain is much stronger than physical."

"You think I do not already feel mental pain?" William retorted.

"You are still here, and not asking my sister for forgiveness. No, your mental pain is by far not enough yet."

"Then let me dwell on my regret and drown myself in self-pity."

Andrew shook his head, a mean smile appearing on his lips. "I will not make it that easy for you, Hawthorne. You will break like you broke Elizabeth – twice."

William moaned, knowing the decision he had made – twice – and the pain he had felt because of it – twice. He did not need a reminder from his best friend.

"And do not think I will be nicer to you because you are my friend. If Thomas is not satisfied with my beatings, then he shall continue."

"Then get on with it," William encouraged. The faster he started, the faster it was over. But Andrew shook his head again.

"You are not broken enough yet."

Both men stared at each other, each one knowing that Andrew would never give up on protecting his sister. They both knew William was the bad guy who hurt Elizabeth – again.

Andrew's fist suddenly landed on William's belly, making him double over. "That," Andrew said without regret, "is for the first time you left her."

He moved his fist away from William's belly, only to hit him in the same spot again. "And that is for ruin her while you knew you were going to leave her."

His other hand suddenly slammed against his jaw. "That is for not appreciating all my sister is worth."

He crouched down and took William's face in his hand and turned it to him. His finger dug in his skin, but William did not flinch. He deserved this.

"You claim you cannot trust her because of what happened in the past. You say it is all her fault, that she is to blame. But have you ever thought that mayhap you are the one causing the most damage? That mayhap you taking away her chance at a good and happy future is not only her burden to bear, to also Mary's, Thomas' and mine? Do you not think that you might have just ruined an entire family because of your own satisfaction?"

He fist landed on William eye, making him fall back with a throbbing eye.

"Did you not have enough whores, William?" He startled when he heard his friend use his first name, not "Hawthorne," like he always did. "Did you really have to make Elizabeth one too?"

"I did not-"

"Not your time to talk," Andrew interrupted before kicking his foot in between his ribs. "You have ruined a perfectly happy woman – my sister – while knowing how much you meant to her. And to think I believed you would one day ask for her hand."

His fist landed on his eye again, making William feel it burn all over his face.

"When you left because she lied, I understood it. But now, she has been nothing but good and honest to you. She has treated you as a friend and you have taken her and made her your lover, not worth more than any other woman while we both know what a precious gem she is."

His fist landed on his stomach again, and then on his jaw again. He continued beating William up until he felt pain and sore everywhere. It felt like hours before he finally stepped away and looked down at his friend. "Satisfied, Thomas?"

"Not at all," the young Brompton answered. While Andrew calmly took a seat on the coach, Thomas walked to William and used his fists like he was not beating up a man. William received blows to his jaw, eye, chest, stomach – even his groin. Every part of him hurt, an unstoppable wave of pain rushed through his body. But it was Andrew's mental beating that hurt him the most.

She had not lied to him. Every word she had spoken had been the truth. And when he had not believed her, a fact would suddenly show up and prove to him that she was honest. He had told himself not to trust her and he had doubted her every word. But thinking back, he realized he never caught her in a lie.

Yes, she had lied to him before. But was one of the first things she had said to him not: "I have learned my lesson"?

A part of him knew that. A part of him had realized she had been honest with him for months. But yet he did not trust her because she had made one mistake. Was that one mistake worth enough to ruin her life? Should that truly be her punishment?

She had feared him leaving, which caused her to lie. Was it in a way not the most beautiful thing one could do? Was it not a gorgeous way to prove your love? And had he not walked away from her as a thank you for her admission?

That part of him that was certain he loved her and that part that had left her behind, were they not one and the same part, afraid of commitment, admission and eternal love? Was that not the true reason he left her – not once, but twice? For he was hurt too much to believe in mere distrust.

Finally, Thomas stepped away. William wanted to move, but could not. Every part of him hurt – his body, his mind, his heart. So laid on the floor as he watched two pairs of feet walk to the door of his study.

And before leaving, Andrew had one last thing to say. "Do not consider me your friend until my sister has forgiven you."