Lady Anne had given Elizabeth a strange look. Mary asked her if she had received a blow to the head. Thomas wanted to know if she had become crazy. Andrew merely told her to be careful.

Their reactions made Elizabeth doubt if she should go to the circus with William. If they had so little faith in this ending well, why would she believe it?

She had not told them of the kiss from two days ago. If they had known that, they would not be sitting here, looking at her like she had gone mad. No, they would have locked her up in her chamber, tied to the bed.

"You are speaking of William Hawthorne, yes?" Mary asked. "The man who left you years ago?"

"Yes, Mary, it is him," Elizabeth repeated for what felt like the millionth time. "I have told you that already."

"I am only making certain I hear this correctly, for it sounds quite unrealistic."

"Tis not unrealistic," she argued. "He is just a man."

"A man who hurt you," Thomas reminded her.

"A man who made a mistake," she corrected.

Lady Anne's eyebrows shot up. "Does that mean you are willing to forgive him?"

"I will not fall in love with him, if that is what you are asking."

"Of course not," Thomas said, "for you have never fallen out of love."

"Elizabeth," her mother said in a gentle voice, "it does not matter to me who you fall for or who you love. All I ask is that you are careful with your heart."

"I will not give him my heart." She looked at her siblings and her mother, all of whom were looking at her, disbelieve obvious in their eyes. "It is merely the circus!"

"That is what is starts with," Mary said under her breath.

Elizabeth sighed, then stood up. "Fine. If that is your opinion, than I shall not tell you where I go to the next time I get an invitation."

"Elizabeth, that is not what we meant," lady Anne said while throwing Thomas and Mary an angry look. Then she stood up and walked to her daughter. "We just want you to be happy, not hurt. And we know William can easily hurt your for you are too kind. You can always tell him no. There is no shame in that."

"But I do not want to tell him no. I want to see the circus, and he was the first to ever ask me."

"If that is what you want, then we can go to the circus with you."

Elizabeth sighed. "So what is it you truly want, Mother? To tell me that I can go or not? Because now you have already told me both."

"No, I have not," she said surprised.

"You have told I ought to be careful with my heart, but you have also told me not to give it a chance to beat."

"Mother, may I speak with Elizabeth alone?" Andrew said for the first time since Elizabeth had dropped the bomb.

Lady Anne turned around at her son, sitting calmly on the coach. Andrew had always been their father when they needed one. Giving them good and sober advice whenever lady Anne could not.

Their mother finally sighed, then told Thomas and Mary: "come on, you two. We shall leave them alone. And no listening in at the door."

With a sigh, the two youngest Brompton children stood up and followed lady Anne outside. Once the door was closed, Andrew stood up to face his sister fully.

"Is that what you want?" he asked her. "For your heart to beat? Any man can make your heart beat, Elizabeth. So why would you give Hawthorne another chance at breaking it while you think he makes it beat?"

"I do not want to go to the circus so I can fall in love with him again. He is still a kind man and I like being in his company. I just want him to be a friend."

"You and I both know you will never be able to see him as just a friend, Elizabeth. Yes, he is kind, and yes, he is good company, but he will never be a friend to you. Either he gives you everything he has, or nothing at all. And it is not because he is my friend that I shall be kinder to him when it comes to you."

"You do not need to be kinder or meaner to him, for nothing will happen. We will just be friends!"

Andrew nodded, but his eyes did not agree. "You keep telling yourself that, Elizabeth. But I do not believe it."

-----------------------------------------------------------

That evening, Elizabeth and William arrived at a tent outside London. Around it were many smaller tents. William told her the circus people lived there, as well as the animals in bigger tents.

"The circus is run by circus families," he explained. "Most of the acrobats you will see are family – by birth or not – as are the animals parents and children. The show master is the son of the previous one, and the next one will be his son."

They followed the stream of people that led them inside the tent, and they chose an empty place to sit with a good view on the rings inside. Since the tent was filled with rows and rows of benches instead of chairs, William came to sit quite close to her. She was not certain she liked it or found it annoying – especially after the conversation she had had with her family that morning. She ought to ask him to move away, but she liked touching his arm with hers, and was not certain she wanted him to move away.

Even before she had made a decision, a man suddenly came to stand in the middle of the biggest ring. "Ladies and Gentlemen," he announced loudly, "welcome to the Parrish Circus, the place where all your imagination will become reality, and where dreams take over."

Suddenly, two flaps in the back of the tent opened and two horses ran into two ring, a rider on each of their backs. While the animals were riding in circles, the riders came to their feet on top of the horse and carefully lifted one leg until they were balancing on one feet.

Elizabeth gasped – the first of many for that night. She gasped when the showman brought an elephant inside the ring and when the mammal did the stunts the man asked for. Also when floor acrobats did impossible things on the floor, like summersaults and jumping through rings of fire. And when the trapeze artist flew through the air like a bird, she held her breath until he was on the floor again. Then jugglers came to show off their abilities while a lion showed off his. The show ended with three tight-rope dancers in the sky and a pantomime on the floor.

After everyone had clapped for the truly wonderful show, the stream of people led them outside.

"That was amazing," she told William. Never had she seen such incredible and dangerous things before, and she loved it.

"I knew you would like it," he told her with a proud smile. She could not help but smile back. During the performance, it had been great to sit next to him. Her mind had been too preoccupied to truly enjoy his warmth and proximity, but it had also been too preoccupied to think of reasons why she should not enjoy it.

They arrived at Elizabeth's carriage and the driver opened the door. William's carriage was only a few steps away, and it was the polite thing to walk a lady to her carriage. Before she could step in the vehicle, he called her name and she turned around. She was surprised of how close he stood to her, but there was no way out for her.

"I really enjoyed this," he told, his voice low and warm. "I hope we can do it again."

She nodded. "I hope so too."

For a moment, everything around them seemed to stop as her eyes met his. She was aware of only him and how his head moved closer to hers. She felt her heartbeat speed up and her mouth dry out. Twas hard to move, for his lips came closer and closer to her.

They should not do it again. Twas wrong. She could not trust him, for he might enjoy her now, just to dispose of her tomorrow. But was it not like Andrew said? They could never be just friends.

Before his lips could touch hers, she turned her head away and looked at the circus tent in the distance. She heard him sigh of disappointment, but she was proud of herself for turning away. They should not be together, so they should not kiss either.

Elizabeth swallowed. "You cannot fully trust me," she reminded him of his own words. Without waiting for his response, she turned around and entered the carriage. Without giving him one more look, she knocked on the roof, and the carriage started riding.

She did not want to see the look in his face, for the disappointment would be obviously displayed, and she would not be able to forgive herself for bringing such hardship on him. But was it not him who brought hardship on her, for he had leaned closer?

She heard William clear his throat, then shout: "do not forget the ball tomorrow night." She nodded, but he could not see it. Darn it, she thought. How was she to control herself while dancing with the man an entire night?