Feel like I'm losing you

-Blackbear

I frowned, "That's so wrong."

Noah chuckled and shook his head, "Once you read the entire book, you'll understand she did the right thing."

I gasped, "She cheated on him! How can that ever be something right?"

"He pushed her to that extent. He didn't treat her right, and she deserved much better."

"So she should have broken up with him and then slept with someone else. Pushed or not, cheating can never be considered right."

"You and I are very different people,we have very different thoughts."

"Clearly." 

I heard the sound of an engine rumbling, and seconds later I heard the front door open. His footsteps echoed. My eyes widened and I scrambled to my feet, my brain all over the place.

"He wasn't supposed to back so soon." I hissed and looked at Noah with alarm in my eyes. He looked confused, "Hide in the bathroom."

"What? But why? What's going on?"

Before I could do anything, the door to my room was slammed open and I saw his livid face, stalking inside. My father had always been a tall man, and I felt as small as a mouse in front of him.

"Like mother, like daughter." He seethed out as he looked at Noah, giving him a once over, his eyes coming to rest on his face, then meeting my eyes, "Who is this, Amelia?"

"My-he's my friend." I whispered.

"What is the name?" His voice boomed in my room.

"Noah Archway, sir. You have a beautiful house." Noah replied to him confidently. His head was high, his posture straight. His demeanor screamed that he wasn't afraid of my father.

That was the biggest mistake he made.

My father smiled at him sickly, "Did you fuck my daughter?"

Noah faltered for a moment, seemingly shocked by my father's vulgar language for his own flesh and blood. "No."

"But you were planning on it, weren't you?"

"No, she's my friend."

My father met my eyes, his blue orbs the only feature I'd inherited. I could see my reflection in them, scared, panicked, sweaty. His words were powerful as he said, "Get out." His words were directed at Noah, but I could feel the hidden meaning behind it.

Noah looked unsure. So I shook my head at him softly, conveying that I would be okay. I wanted to laugh at my flat out lie. I would never be okay when my father was seething like this. He would never lay a finger on me, I knew that, but like some very rare people, my father was gifted with a venomous tongue, his words were more capable to hurt someone than his blows.

When Noah was out of the front door, I shuffled my feet, looking down, gulping my fear.

"What were you doing with that boy, Amelia?"

"Nothing."

"Do not fucking lie to me!" He shouted out and I flinched. He didn't seem to notice, "I will not let you become like your mother, Amelia. Do you understand me? You are my daughter, I will not let you open your legs for every fucking guy you see. You are forbidden to see that boy from now on."

"But-"

"Enough!"

"We weren't-"

"I said enough, Amelia. You will never be like your mother. I will never let you become like your mother."

I sighed as I tried to clear my head, wiping it clear off everything I'd just been thinking. I had promised myself I would never think of these things, I didn't know why my mind was choosing to replay these scenes again and again. I checked my reflection in the mirror, applying a light touch of gloss on my lips and fixing my hair. I was just about to go out when the door opened and I saw Claire.

Great, just my luck.

"Amelia." She gave me an acknowledgment nod.

"Claire." I replied to her, tight lipped. 

"I hope Theo and you resolved your issues. He seemed pretty tense." She made her way in front of the mirror, directly beside me.

"Uh, yeah, we did." 

Did we? Did we really resolve everything? Or did I just screw up more?

 "God, I had to give him a massage to make him feel better."

My stomach churned. Did she really have to say that. "Oh."

"And you know the funny part," She chuckled lightly, "The funny part is that he said he couldn't stop thinking about you, but one touch from me and he was literally demanding me not to stop. He even slept on my lap yesterday."

I blinked, trying to keep my breathing normal. I tried to not let that piece of information hurt me, but her words were like knives to my heart.

It was everything I'd always been afraid of.

"You see what I mean here, Amelia?" She continued, looking sideways at me, "He can do whatever he wants with you, but at the end of the day, he always comes to me."

"I don't care." I shot back at her. I made sure to keep my voice in level, to let her know it didn't affect me. But it did, it did so bad that I wasn't sure if I wanted to lock myself in my room and cry or slam her head in the mirror.

Nevertheless, I managed to walk out of the bathroom with my dignity, without showing Claire an ounce of emotion on my face. 

But inside, a battle was raging in my heart.

The damage had already been done.

"Do I look okay?" I glanced at the mirror, running my fingers through my hair.

"For the love of God, you look fine."

"But I need to look good, not fine."

My brother walked over to me, pushing me away from the mirror, folding his hands on his chest and glancing at me with a stern expression, "If she can't accept you when you look like a potato sac, then she doesn't deserve you."

I looked at him. "I never look like a potato sac."

Tobias groaned, "You got what I meant, right? Plus I really don't think she cares if you look good or not. She already likes you no matter what."

My ears perked up, "Really? How do you know that? Did she say that to you? Tell me specifically what was it that she said."

"She didn't say it to me, but it doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

"Okay, fine." I got my keys from the bedside table, walking downstairs with him trailing behind me. The first thing I noticed was the unusual smell of something burning. Then my eyes widened when I stepped into the kitchen, looking at my dad holding a frying pan in his right hand, wearing an apron with 'kiss the cook' written in pink, looking proud with his masterpiece.

My dad can't cook shit.

"I will kill you William." Mom seethed at him. 

I bit back a chuckle.

"Why do you always have to do this? Everyone in this house wants to live, no one wants to die when you set the house on fire."

"Yes, we all want to live." Tobias perked up from behind me, then in a very sweet baby like voice he said, "Please don't kill us dad."

I couldn't help the chuckle that boomed out of my chest at that moment.

"Practice makes a man perfect." Dad replied to us, puffing out his chest.

I snickered as I took an apple out of the fridge. I was five when Dad had first set the kitchen on fire. He'd accidentally set the temperature for the heating appliance a bit too high, and retired off to his office. When he'd come back ten minutes later, he had shouted at the top of his lungs. Then Mom had somehow managed to extinguish the fire, and later banned Dad from cooking anything ever.

But I think it didn't apply to this house.

"Ma, I'm leaving." I dropped a kiss on her forehead, slapping a hand on Dad's back when he wasn't looking, and hurried outside. 

"Is that a way to treat your father?" I heard him shouting from inside.

I grinned, unlocking my car and getting inside. I hadn't driven it for a very long time, I usually preferred the bike. But I knew Mia would never ever get on the bike again, after the first time, and I didn't want to risk spending time with her just because I liked the bike more.

Ah, Mia.

My smile widened when her face popped in my head. No, scratch that. She was always in my head. It angered me sometimes, the fact that I just literally couldn't stop thinking about her. But every time she appeared in my mind, I calmed down. Just the thought of her calmed me down.

I was absolutely, utterly, unconditionally smitten by her. 

And for some unknown reason, a goofy smile appeared on my face when I established that fact. I know she was a person with many secrets, most of which I didn't know. But I planned on breaking her walls since she'd broken mine so easily. I needed to know her, I needed to know why she is the way she is. I need to know what made her so cautious every time.

I parked my car in its usual spot and got, only to be met with a hug.

"How are you?" Claire asked me.

"I'm good." I awkwardly patted her back, wanting to get out. There used to be a time when I felt Claire was hot as fuck, she still is, but ever since Mia, there's been no one. I can't even seem to look at a girl without wanting her next to me.

But Claire and I had always been good friends, I knew she was showing concern. I knew she had been worried about me.

"I told her to back off."

"What?"

She unwrapped her arms from my neck and looked me in the eye, "Amelia, I told her to leave you alone. It killed me to see you-"

My ears rung with an emotion so deep I didn't understand the depth of it. A while later I realized it was panic.

Panic of losing her.

And then there was madness.

"What the fuck?" I spat out. She recoiled, shock written on her face. I had never spoken to her that way ever, but then again, there hadn't ever been Mia in my life before.

"I-"

"Shut the fuck up, Claire. Just shut up." I tugged at my hair, thinking of the possibilities of what could happen now.

"She said she didn't care," Claire added softly, looking down. "She doesn't care about you, Theo. You're wasting your time on her."

"Never," I said to her, deathly calm, "Never interfere in my life, ever again. I am more than capable of fighting my own battles."

"I know, Theo. But I'm looking out for you. I hate to see you hurt and-"

"I need her in my life." I breathed hard, trying to imagine her hands on me. "I need her. Just go Claire, you've already done enough damage."

Mia had already been over cautious ever since I'd told her my feelings. She'd ran away once, I didn't know what I would do if she ran away once again. And Claire had just opened up another possibility of her running away from me.

"Theo-"

"Go away!" I shouted out.

Others looked at us with a questioning glance. Claire looked like I'd just snatched away her favorite candy. But it didn't fucking matter. If I lost her, it just did not matter at all.

And maybe the odds weren't in my favor, because that moment my eyes met the blue orbs which hid so many secrets. Her body was faced away from mine, it seemed she had been rushing somewhere but had stopped suddenly to look at me.

I took a step in her direction, and she took one back.

That was all it took for me to figure out I'd lost her. She was running away, again.

But this time, I wouldn't let her get away. No, she needed to know I wouldn't let her go, that I would put up a fight.

And, like I've said, I will always, always catch her.

*