It was lunchtime.

I was sat in the playground, slumped, down with my back against a tree. I watched all the other boys and girls in envy. They were running around, playing games, interacting with each other while I sat slumped down by this tree. They were having fun, and I was not.

A part of me was itching to run up to the field, and join the other boys who were playing soccer.

God, did I want to, but I couldn't.

Rule number one was make no friends. I've already shit on rule number two, thanks to brown eyes, so the least I could do was keep the other two rules intact.

With a sigh, I fished out my notebook from my bag, figuring this was a good enough time as any to read ahead. As I flipped to a clean page, a small piece of paper fluttered out and onto the grass.

I picked it up and smiled as I saw it was Mia's letter. All-throughout class, I kept re-reading it over and over again, like some kind of nutter. It was the only conversation I was ever going to allow myself to have with her, so I wanted to memorize it line by line.

Yeah, I know, I'm pathetic...

"Woo, what a game," I heard a loud voice say before I felt a thud as someone crashed down onto the ground beside me.

I lifted my head in surprise and found a random boy sitting beside me. He was a dark skinned boy with a mop of curly black hair and a bright warm smile on his face. I could just tell he was the type of boy who seemed to find happiness in everything.

The type of boy I used to be.

"Man is it hot today, I reckon it must be 100 degrees," he said as he wiped his sweaty forehead with his sleeve.

"You've got the right idea, sitting here under the shade," he sighed. "Oh, by the way, do you have any spare snacks to share," he said as he eyed my bag in intrigue.

I put a hand protectively over my rucksack, knowing there was a packet of Doritos in there, that I had absolutely no intention of sharing.

"Look, no offense, but why are you talking to me?" I asked bluntly.

He laughed. "Oh, right, how rude of me. I'm Lucas. I thought you were funny in class today, so I'm your friend now. Any questions?" he explained simply.

He's my fucking what now?

"Erm...look...as nice as that offer sounds, I'm not really looking to make any friends, right now," I said slowly, eyeing him the same way you might look an explosive bomb.

This dude was weird...

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Really? Why not?" he asked with the tilt of his head.

"Because I'm violent," I shrugged. "If you hang out with me too much, there's a highly probably chance I might punch you in the face," I said with a smile.

My tactic was to try and get him to back off by scaring him. Nobody's going to want to hang out with a boy, who just made a threat to punch them.

He snorted. "Oh, is that it?" He asked. "Simple, if you punch me in the face, I'll punch you right back but harder. Then we'll be good," he said, returning my smile.

Persistent little bugger this one was.

"I'm sorry, Lucas, but I'm just not gonna be your friend," I said bluntly.

I know I was being rude, but it was for his own good. Lucas kept his gaze fixed on mine, and his eyes sparkled with a challenge.

"Look, Ethan, you have two options - accept me as my friend or have to deal with my annoying-ass-self bugging you for the rest of the year. Your choice," he said simply.

"And trust me, you have no idea how annoying I can get."

I narrowed my eyes at him and gave him a long look. We engaged in a minute-long staring contest, with neither of us saying a word. There was a threatening spark in his eyes, which I just didn't trust. I knew he had every intention of delivering through on his promise.

"Okay, fine, whatever, you win," I grumbled.

A massive grin broke out onto his face. "Yay, that's my guy," he said as he held out his hand for a hive-five.

I didn't return, and his hand was just awkwardly left up in the air.

"Well, that was slightly awkward....," he laughed as he slowly lowered his hand back down again.

I tried to stifle a laugh, not wanting him to think that I thought he was funny. Maybe if he didn't like me, he'd get bored and leave me alone. I broke my gaze from him and took a glance around the rest of the playground.

Then I spotted her, the beautiful Mia Collins. She was sat on the far side of the field in a small circle with two other girls.

She looked happy. She was laughing, and smiling, and making weird goofy faces as though she was telling a funny story.

If I was the same boy, I was a couple of months ago, I would have marched up to her and introduced myself. I might have told a joke or maybe even flirted.

Suddenly a hand started waving around in front of my face. "Hello, earth to Ethan?" A voice sang.

"Hey, what, w-what's going on?" I stuttered as I pulled myself out of my daydream and focused my attention back on Lucas.

He laughed so hard his eyes started to crinkle up at the corners. "You really like Mia, huh?" he smiled. I felt my heart drop.

I frowned and shook my head. "Of course not, no," I lied.

Please buy it, please, please buy it.

"Then what was up with those love notes in class this morning?" he snorted. I felt my face warm up slightly.

"They weren't love notes," I mumbled.

But god, did I wish they were.

"Weren't love notes, really? Let's see about that lover boy," he teased.

Then before I could fathom a guess about what he was going to do, his hand lunged towards my notebook and snatched a paper from between the pages.

"Hey! "I yelled as I reached out to grab it back. He shuffled away from me with a laugh.

"Jesus Christ, what on earth is this!" he cried as his eyes scanned over the paper. He flipped the paper round and held it up. I widened my eyes in horror as I found myself looking back at my cartoon drowning of Mia.

Well, this wasn't good...

I just stared at him in silence, hoping that the picture would just magically disappear.

I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Okay fine, you got me. I might have a small little thing for her," I admitted stiffly.

"Small little thing?" he scoffed. "You've literally branded her as your future wife," he laughed.

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, a big thing then," I snapped.

He smirked, and his eyes seemed to spark with an idea. "Don't worry, man, I've got your back. I'll go over there, and you big you up," he said as he started to push himself off the floor.

"No!" I yelled as I quickly snatched his arm. Lucas, stilled in his place, looking alarmed by my outburst. "Do not tell her anything. She must never, ever know I like her. Promise me, you'll never tell her, promise me!" I" begged.

"Woah, dude, calm down. I won't tell her, I promise," he said softly.

I relaxed and let go of my tight grip on his arm. "Thanks...erm...sorry if I hurt you," I said as I gestured to his arm.

"Relax, idiot, I'm not made out of paper," he said as he rolled his eyes.

"I get she's out of your league, but dude, you need to have more confidence. I'm sure you'll be able to wear down her standards," he smirked.

I quirked up an eyebrow. "Was that your genuine attempt at a pep talk?"

"Aww, Ethey, I was only teasing you, you're perfectly within her league," he cooed as he reached out and pinched my cheeks.

I made a disapproving grunt and slapped his hands away in embarrassment.

He sighed. "No, but seriously, Ethan, I think you should go for it. Don't let your lack of confidence hold you back," he said as he gave me a comforting smile.

I shook my head. "No, it's not even that. I just don't want to get too close to her...in case I hurt her, you know...You might not mind being punched, Lucas, but I think her opinion might differ, "I sighed.

Lucas tilted his head. "So, you're just gonna stay away from her for the whole of middle school and potentially high school?" He asked in bewilderment.

I nodded my head. "Yup."

"Aww that's cute, you think you're gonna be able to stay away," he chuckled.

"No, I will be able to stay away, " I stated confidently.

"Really?" Lucas asked as he raised his brows. "You'll just happily watch her live her happy merry old life without you in it. Barely even knowing you exist. he questioned.

I was about to answer but then hesitated. His words had stirred a weird feeling inside my stomach like someone was tying knots over and over again. The feeling was new and sickening. I hated it, and I hated the picture he'd painted.

I slowly shook my head. "No, that's now what I want. Maybe, I was a little too rash.... I suppose there's no real harm in being her friend," I said.

Lucas snorted. "I thought you were supposed to be bright. Be her friend and you're in the friend zone for life, man. You ain't ever getting out. She'll probably ask you to the best man at her wedding and the godfather to her grandkids. Have you not watched any rom-com movie ever?" he scoffed.

The nasty feeling in my stomach returned, but stronger this time.

"Then what am I supposed to do then?" I snapped.

Lucas smiled. "Simple, man up, and face your feelings."

I pulled a face. "Nah, I think I'll just stick to keeping my distance."

"Well, that's your decision, I guess," he shrugged. "But just warning you, it's the wrong decision," he winked.

"Oi, Lucas, are you coming back, or what?" a voice yelled.

Both of us looked up towards the source of the sound. A blonde-haired boy stood in the distance with a soccer ball in hand. He was surrounded by a similar-looking group of boys who were all looking over at Lucas expectantly. Clearly, Lucas was popular.

"I guess, that's my cue to leave," Lucas sighed as he climbed up to his feet.

He looked back down at me and gave me a funny look. "So, are you coming, or what?" he asked.

"Coming where?" I asked in confusion.

"Duh, to play soccer with the guys. You can play, can't you?" he asked.

I recoiled back in offence. "Of course, I can fucking play."

Lucas smirked. "Well, let's see it then, hot's stuff," he teased, with a playful spark in his eyes. He nodded his head for me to get up.

I looked up at Lucas, then at the boys in the distance and lastly at the ball.

God, how I missed playing.

I knew I shouldn't, but the itch became too great.

"You're on, don't say I didn't warn you," I said as I slowly rose to my feet. I gave Lucas a half-smile, then we turned and headed over to the field.

As we walked, I knew one thing for sure. Rule number one-make no friends had been shattered.

I jogged after the ball, feeling the refreshing feeling of the wind blowing through my hair. I felt free. For once, I wasn't thinking about controlling my anger or hurting other people; I was just having fun.

Lucas made eye contact with me from the far side of the field and smiled.

Not that I would ever tell him this, but I was glad that he talked to me today. He'd made me feel normal.

Mid-way through running something caught my eye, which caused me to slow down and eventually come to a halt.

It was Mia. She was standing by the water fountain with a bottle in hand and was talking to a boy. Some perfect looking, tall blonde boy.

I narrowed my eyes as I watched them. She was fiddling over-excessively with the end of her pigtail, and her cheeks had turned a faint pale pink.

I felt bile rise to my throat as I came to the clear realization that she liked him. I know I had no right to feel this way since I barely even knew her and had just proclaimed that I was going to ignore her.

But despite all logical thought, a rather large part of me wished that I was that guy. I wished that I could make her blush, and be the guy she had a crush on. I was jealous.

I ripped my eyes away and shook my head in an attempt to clear my thoughts. Then I took off running again. As I did, Lucas' words from earlier paraded through my mind.

So, when other guys swoop into the picture, you're just going to sit idly by, are you?

Focus, Ethan. Just block it out.

You'll just happily watch her live her happy merry old life without you in it.

Just block it out. They're just words. Just block it out.

Barely even knowing you exist.

I winced as the words became painful to remember.

I got to the boy who had the ball, and I swiftly tackled it off him.

"Go on, Ethan, stick it in the goal," I heard Lucas cheer in encouragement. Just as I was approaching the goal, I was hit with another memory of his words.

Is that what you want?

I felt something inside me turn, and all I felt, and thought was anger.

No, that's not what I fucking wanted.

I needed her to talk to me again, to notice me, to interact with me. And I guess, if I couldn't be her friend then there was only one option left.

She was going to have to hate me.

With that final thought, I turned myself and the ball in her direction and then fired it. It soared through the air and then rebounded off the side of her head.

She broke conversation with the guy she walking to, and I saw her lips move to say the words 'ouch' as she grabbed her head.

Shit, I'm such an idiot, I hurt her.

She looked to the side in confusion, and then her big brown eyes locked on mine. From the fact I was staring right at her, it was blatantly obvious that I was the one that kicked the ball.

Her eyes narrowed, and she pressed her lips together tightly. With a scowl, she marched up to where the ball had rolled off to and snatched it up off the ground.

She then surprised me by throwing her arm back and hurling the ball towards my face. It missed my face by around a meter and went flying over my shoulder.

Clearly, throwing wasn't her forte...

It was kind of cute. Scratch that, it was incredibly cute.

I bit my lip in an attempt to suppress my laughter, but then I remembered I was supposed to be making her hate me anyway, so I let myself go and fully broke out into laughter. I heard a couple of guys from behind me chuckle as well.

I felt guilt eat away at me, but then I pushed that feeling aside. This was for the best.

If I thought she looked mad before, now she looked about ready to kill me. She let out a little cry of frustration before storming her way over to me.

As soon as she reached me, she pushed me roughly, and I staggered back in shock, surprised by her aggressiveness.

"The actual fuck, Blythe? I know you did that on purpose, you piece of shit," she screamed.

My eyes widened, surprised by the number of profanities that were falling out of this seemingly innocent girl's mouth.

I forgot how to speak for a few seconds and just opened and closed my mouth like a fool. She crossed her arms.

"Cat got your tongue?" she spat.

Say something, you idiot.

I plastered an arrogant smirk across my face. "Well, of course, I did it on purpose. I fancied a good laugh," I chuckled.

She gave me a once-over and shook her head in disbelief. "Why are you acting like such a dickhead? I've gone out of my way to be nice to you. For fuck's sake, I shared my skittles with you, and I never share. So, what the hell is your problem, Ethan?"

Well, my crush on you is the problem.

I pressed my lips tightly together, knowing there's no way in hell I could say that.

I pouted condescendingly. "Aww is someone upset their love letter weren't received as well as they hoped," I cooed.

She quirked up an eyebrow. "Love letter? Are you serious?" she laughed.

"Well, you signed it off with kisses, did you not?" I taunted.

She rolled her beautiful brown eyes. "Dream on, I write xx at the end of everything. I'd never write a love letter to your skinny, short-ass-self. What are you five feet tall?" she scoffed as she eyed me up and down in disgust.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

She definitely wasn't holding back, because Jesus Christ that hurt.

"Actually, I'm five-foot-one and three quarters, and you're only two inches taller than me, so calm down," I frowned. "And besides, I'll grow! I'm just a late bloomer, that's all," I argued as I felt my face burn slightly hot.

"Sure," she snorted.

"And...and you can't exactly talk, you've got...you've..." I trailed off as I tried to think of one thing wrong with her. I grew frustrated when I couldn't think of anything.

"I've got what?" she snapped.

"Your eyes...they are..they are freakishly big and... you've got chubby cheeks," I stammered out. "I might be short, but at least I don't look like a toddler," I argued.

My insults couldn't be further from the truth, her eyes were what I liked best about her, and she had a beautifully shaped face. But I had to make her hate me, so twisting the truth was necessary.

Her jaw dropped, and she gasped. "My eyes aren't big, how dare you!" she yelled. "And I look precisely my age, thank you very much," she snapped.

"Sorry, didn't mean to upset you, Chubs. Sometimes the truth can hurt, I guess," I shrugged.

She narrowed her eyes and took a step closer to me. "What the fuck did you just call me?" she spat.

I could tell she was trying to intimidate me, but it wasn't working in any shape or form. I was more than happy to have her all up in my face and standing close to me.

"Pst Ethan," I heard someone hiss from behind me. I turned around and saw Lucas making a wildly dramatic cutting action over his throat as though he was warning me to 'stop talking.' I could just about make out him mouthing 'This is not how you flirt.'

I just rolled my eyes and turned back to face Mia. "You heard me, I called you Chubs. I think it might just be your new nickname," I winked.

"That's it," she snapped. Shocking me half-to-death, she put both her hands firmly onto my chest and shoved me to the floor. I hit the floor with a grunt. I barely had time to process a thing before she threw herself on top of me and started to whack the shit out of me.

"Fight, Fight, fight," I heard the kids around us chant.

What on earth is happening right now....

Am I seriously being beat up by my crush?

I wasn't exactly going to fight her back, so I just sort of laid there and let her get her hits in with a smile on my face.

It was like I was getting attacked by a cute little bunny.

"Why the hell are you smiling for? Fight me back, you idiot," she snapped.

"I'm not gonna fight you, Chubs," I laughed.

She scowled down at me. "Ugh, I hate you," she snapped as gave me one final hit before climbing to her feet.

I rested on my elbows and looked up at her in amusement. "Well, that was fun," I smiled.

She scoffed, "Congratulations, Ethan Blythe, you've made yourself your first enemy," she spat.

She turned on her heel and marched over to where her two friends were waiting for her. I furrowed my brows as I watched the red-haired one thump her on her back in congratulations.