Numb.

It was the only word I could think of to describe how I was feeling—numb. As if all those feelings I had felt last night were no longer there and I was now thinking straight. I could hear each of my shallow breaths at their loudest.

When Pete opened the door and saw me, I didn't have to tell him what I came here for because he already knew. I didn't have to ask if he spoke to Rogue before I came here, but whatever it was, it was making him more nervous and fearful than me.

He should be.

And yet, I didn't want him to be. I didn't come here to fight him. I was more aware today. Even though he had violated my privacy, he had helped me. Unknowingly, he had walked in at my most vulnerable moments and helped me without asking for anything back. And if I hadn't stumbled upon those files, I would never have known that he was the one who did.

"Come in," he said, allowing me to walk in before he closed the door. The house was cold and silent, and knowing that Veronica wasn't here didn't help me either. I was nervous and my heart was tripping. I didn't need to be because I didn't do anything wrong. But I was here because Pete may, or may not be in love with me, which made things ten times more difficult for me. For Rogue. For Veronica. Because every single one of them would do anything for him. For his happiness, they would sacrifice theirs.

I chose to sit far away from him and he noticed that. His shoulders were tense as he sat and crossed his legs, studying me with a warm smile. I came here, not only for answers but to fight for Rogue's freedom, but sitting right in front of the man who stood in the way of my own happiness, I felt sadder for him than anything.

After all, he was more vulnerable than the rest of us.

"Do you need anything?" he asked. I shook my head, playing with my fingers. He was being polite, and then I remembered that neither was it his fault.

"You can relax, Beth." He laughed a little. "I promise you that I'm not going to ask you for anything. I didn't help you to gain something from you."

"Then why did you help me?" I threw back, tensed now more than ever.

"Because you helped me."

I frowned. "Helped you? I don't remember that." I crossed my legs and uncrossed it, trying to settle for a more comfortable position, but that was also proving to be a difficult thing.

Pete smiled absently, as though he was recalling a past incident. "It was two years ago. There was a meeting that Rogue had to attend in London so I chose to go in his place. Back then, I was doing a lot better and hadn't left the house for two months. That trip was the first time I went somewhere in five years. They tried talking me out of it, but I was desperate to be let out. Days like that were not easy for me so all I wanted to do was get far away from here. I thought a change of scenery might help me somehow."

Something in my chest pushed out like it was reaching. Like a part of me sympathized with him more each time I heard a new story.

"So, you saw me, decided to stalk and have all that information about me?" I stared him right in the eye.

"No, that wasn't it."

"You love me? You did all of that because you love me?" The words echoed in the living room like I had shouted them.

"I don't know about that," he explained, tilting his head in my direction. "Did I do all of that because I love you?" He shrugged. "Or maybe I was just fascinated with you, someone who had helped me in my dire need of help. When I called for help, you were the one who showed up, but you don't remember that. I was disappointed about that."

"I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say.

He waved me away. "No, don't be. It wasn't your fault. Your head wasn't in it either. You were on a call with someone and you seemed to be in an argument with that person. You were frantic, and through all of that, you saw me struggling in an alley."

I looked away for a moment just to get my bearings. My head rushed through what he said, trying to recall the moment where he said we had met, but I couldn't recall ever meeting him. I would remember his face if I had met him, but then again, if I had been distracted, I would have. Around those times, my life was a mess. My best friend had been going through a lot, and all my focus and attention were on her. If I had met Pete, I wouldn't have remembered.

"I had been in a meeting when I felt like I was going to have an episode so I stormed out of the restaurant and bumped into you on my way out. I didn't have a phone with me and I sent my driver away. I was alone in an unfamiliar city with no one around to help," he whispered that last part, blowing out a breath. "You saw me stumbling into an alley and thought something was wrong so you followed me."

My heart raced. He had a fond smile on his face.

"You crouched in front of me and tried to get me to tell you what was wrong. You were being sweet and worried to a stranger you've never met before. You didn't even think about the dangers of following a stranger to an alley." He chuckled softly. "You dropped your phone call and asked me if there was someone I needed to call. You pushed the phone into my hands and held my hands, guiding me to punch the numbers. You asked for a name. I said Rogue, then I corrected and said Pete." He leaned forward, playing with his fingers as I was. We were both nervous, it seemed.

Pete tilted his head and rubbed the back of his neck, still smiling. "You held the phone to your ear and someone spoke to you at the end. You told the person that a Rogue Pete needed help and then told them where we were."

My breath caught, eyes wide. "Was it.....?"

"Was it Rogue you spoke to on the phone?" He nodded, leaving me breathless. My hands shook. Pete settled on stating the obvious, "Almost like you two are fated to be together." We stared at each other, a second too long, gazes touching too closely before I frantically darted my eyes away, choosing to look anywhere but at him.

My heart raced again – it seemed to pinch in my chest and I kept it from registering on my face. "What happened then?"

"You were with me until my driver got there. He helped me into the car and I asked for your name. Beth Wallace. That was the only thing I held on to. I could remember that night because of you, Beth. When I woke up, your name was the first thing I said." There was a pain in his voice and I knew it wasn't physical. I glanced in his direction and noticed he was staring. Pete searched my face. He let a beat pass, and it didn't feel awkward because it was full.

"The only thing I did was help you." My voice was strong, as though awakening from the numbness. "Anyone would have done that. It didn't warrant you to start stalking me and dig up everything about me, Pete."

"You're right, it didn't." He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. "But it happened and I'm sorry for that, but I'm not apologizing for helping you when you needed it." His gaze was hot and smoldering – intimidating as hell.

I decided to bring out the files from my bag, hands shaking as I retrieved them and slid them across the table in his direction. Pete reached out and took it, glancing at the thick folder. He didn't open it. I didn't think he was going to open it. He slid the files back to me.

"Is this all you've done?" I asked. "Anything off the record that I should know about?"

Eventually, he let out a short audible breath. "The apartment you were going to rent out," he started, rubbing his forehead. "When you got here, the first apartment you looked at and was interested in, the deal didn't go through because of me."

I frowned. I remembered seeing an ad about the flat and was immediately interested after I was shown the place, but I later found out that rent was mad expensive and I didn't have the money for it unless I wanted to go completely broke.

I continued to stare at him. "I didn't get to live there because the rent was expensive."

"I knew a man who knew the owner. I told them to raise the price so you wouldn't be able to afford to pay the rent."

"Why?" I asked breathlessly, gaping at him.

"The neighbors," was what he retorted with. "They weren't good enough for me and you. One of them had several complaints against him, especially for noise complaints. I didn't think that building would make you feel happy. They would have distracted you, and I wouldn't have liked that."

His admittance stunned me, putting me into silence.

"I know what you think..." he started to say, but I caught him off.

"No, you don't know what I think. I don't even know what to think. What does this mean? Why do you care about me enough to do that?" I demanded.

"It may seem like nothing to you, but it was something to me. You were there when I needed someone and you helped me remember that night. That was where it began and it never stopped."

Chills scattered down my arms. "Has it stopped now?" I was almost too afraid to ask. We barely knew each other and he had been there for me. Out of everyone, he was the one who always came to the rescue. But I had to ignore that—had to ignore the way it made me feel. It didn't benefit me at all because I couldn't do anything about it. I was with Rogue. I was his, and no amount of help or care I had received from Pete would ever change that.

"It has," he finally answered. "I wouldn't do that to Rogue. The least I could do was give up the girl he likes. It was easy. I could never take anything from him after all he's done for me. There's nothing that could ever repay him for what he's done for me."

"I'm glad you know that." My words were sharp and serious. He and Rogue weren't any different. Both caught up in their own nerve-wracking guilt and gratitude. It was messed up. Sooner or later, it would ruin them more than it was already doing.

Rogue needed to stop feeling guilty for what he did. He had paid a lot for it. And Pete, he needed to stop too. How much more would they sacrifice for one another? How much more before they started to resent each other? Years had already passed. The sacrifices would grow bigger until their hearts were filled with resentment. Rogue treasured his best friend. If he was going to keep him, I had to confront Pete. He was the only one who could release them both.

"You need to free Rogue," I broke out in a breathless whisper. Pete opened his mouth to respond, but I quickly beat him to it. "No, you listen to me. You both aren't doing good for each other. You need to set Rogue free from his guilt so he could live the rest of his life without it hanging over our heads." My words were louder than I intended them to be.

He didn't move. He didn't say anything.

I continued, "He's already sacrificed everything to you—his identity and his family. Everything about who he is is gone, and now he's living your life. It's not fair. If you don't set him free, he's never going to be able to let it go, and if it continues being like this, I know for a fact that we'd both lose each other. I don't want that to happen, I don't. I want him and I'm going to fight you on this. Let him go."

Pete stared long and hard at me for a while, and even though I wanted to, I didn't shrink under his gaze. "I don't hold anything against him, but I suppose I should have done something about it a long time ago. I'm going to make it right." His voice softened and got small, exhaling slowly. "We've dragged this on for so long. It isn't helping either one of us. I think you're right." He straightened his shoulders. "One of us has to think about the future."

"What are you saying?"

A smile pulled over his face. "You will know soon enough."

My heart was in my throat. I didn't want him to think I was such a bitch who was only looking out for Rogue. The fact was, he had helped me and I couldn't overlook that.

"I'm not..." I started to say but cut myself off. "I didn't...." Again, the words couldn't come out of my mouth.

"I know." Pete gave me an understanding smile. "You have to look out for Rogue and he deserves that. Veronica did her best to be there for him. Rogue doesn't allow people to get close to him, but he's given you the right to love him."

The right to love him. Did he? He did.

I shot up from my chair and walked to the window. I bit my lip and folded my arms across my chest, hugging myself. I didn't hear him, but I felt Pete move up beside me. His hands were tucked safely in the pockets of his pants.

"Does Veronica know about the files?"

"She does."

I shifted my head but I didn't fully turn around, looking at him from my peripheral vision. "Doesn't she hate me for it?" I turned to him.

Pete regarded me briefly. "She knows and she doesn't hate you," he revealed to me. "She's okay with it."

"How can she be okay with it when she loves you?" How could she not resent me after knowing everything?

"Our relationship is complicated, Beth. People may look at it weirdly or think we're not being fair to each other, but it's how we like it. We have an understanding and we respect and love each other. It's different from everyone's relationships. It's different from yours," he said, crossing back to where he had sat, looking a lot more relaxed than he had before. "I love Veronica so much. She's been by my side and I would never intentionally hurt her, or abandon her."

"Do you intend to continue?" I asked, my voice surprisingly steady, even though my heart felt like it was beating in erratic waves.

"Of course not."

"When did you stop?"

"When you became Rogue's. I couldn't cross the line."

My skin prickled. My stomach twisted into knots. "If I hadn't gotten together with Rogue, would you have continued?"

He sighed and swallowed. "I would have told you eventually."

I wrapped my arms around myself. "Thank you for answering my questions." Then I turned around and looked out of the window, blowing out small and calm breaths.