Braxton

I wake to a start when I feel Emily moving. She flips over and sees me then pulls away. I stand up and take a deep breath.

"Emily, I'd like to explain. You don't owe me anything and I'll understand if you knee me in the balls, but please."

She sits on the edge of the bed and looks at me, so I take that as a yes.

"I was terrified when you started spotting. I know that you were so scared, but I felt as if I couldn't protect you. Again. I failed you and you almost died, both of you. I could have lost all three of you and I didn't know how to deal with the fact that it was my fault, so I pushed it down."

I pause and take a deep breath before getting to the harder stuff.

"To see you so scared for our son was unbearable. When we were at the doctor's office and you were asking over and over again if he was okay, I was scared Dr.Davidson would say something was wrong. But then everything was okay, but you weren't convinced. I didn't know how to help."

I go to continue, but Em opens her mouth so I pause.

"Braxton, you did. Yes, I was terrified, but just knowing you were there helped. When you stopped in the office and just held me. I felt safe, I knew you wouldn't let anything happen to us, your gentleness with me and how you talk to our baby helped. I heard him say everything was fine, but it didn't feel fine. You helped."

"It didn't feel like it. But then you stopped bleeding and you could relax again. I'm not sure if you felt like everything was going to be okay, but it seemed like you were okay. You didn't give me that expression of fear all the time anymore, but I was still so scared. Hell, I still am. I thought if you were always resting then you would both be okay. I know that wasn't right, but I didn't know how to help you. You are carrying our baby, I feel like I don't do enough for you, so I thought I would keep you off your feet. I know I drove you crazy and I'm sorry, but I was just trying to do what I couldn't before, keep you safe. When you carried Cora up the stairs, I snapped. I thought you weren't being careful enough. I know that you weren't trying to hurt anyone, but all I could see was your face in tears in that doctor's office. I know that if we lose our baby that I'll lose you too. I could try as hard as I want, but I know it would change us. I can't imagine a life without you, so I tried to keep you safe in the only way I could." I can count on one hand the times i've cried in the past year and now I'm crying twice in one day.

My tears are silent, but I can tell I'm not too far off from sobbing again. Thinking about losing them is painful.

"I didn't feel like everything was going to be okay. I was still scared, but I was trying to believe the doctor and my body. Like I said, you were helping. Being here for me is everything I needed. It wasn't your fault that we got in the accident and I have never blamed you for that. There is no way it's your fault, Brax. But what you said hurt me so badly. Do you really believe that stuff?"

Her voice is pained and I hate that I did this to her.

"Of course not. Everything I said was completely wrong, baby. It was my fault that I wasn't here when Cora was a baby. I got wrapped up in my attraction for you and never even thought about talking about myself. It was so inconsiderate to say that you don't think about how much I love our baby and how he is mine too. I know you know that I love him and I was scared that you wouldn't lean on me when he is born. You do everything for him already and I don't know how to care for a newborn. The worst thing I said was how you were intentionally hurting our little boy. I'm so sorry, Em. I'm so so sorry. I know with everything in me that you weren't, but I can't lose you both. I love you. I fucking love you and I can't lose you. I can't fail at protecting you again. I had one job to make sure you were safe and I let you down twice. You would be better off without me, but I'm a selfish asshole that loves you. So I can't let you go. I will fight with everything I have. Please give me a second chance. I was so wrong before. Please, Em." I'm pleading and sobbing and my face is on fire. The sobbing is so painful with all the swelling and bruises, but I would take that beating over and over again if it means Emily will take me back again.

***

Emily

I don't know what to say. He is in so much pain, from regretting what he said to crying when his face is all beat up. I'd say it's a good guess that Ethan did the damage.

"I love you too, Brax. But you hurt me so much when you said what you did. I know you don't mean it now, but I can't get the words out of my head. You looked so mad at me. Of course, I will lean on you. Our little boy needs his daddy, but if you react like that every time you get scared then I won't make it. It broke me to hear you tell me those awful things. I can't be waiting for it to happen again."

It kills me to deny him a second chance, but as the tears roll down my face, I know that I can't live through that again.

I wait a moment and I see the change in his expression. He goes from terrified to determined.

"I can't promise that I won't get scared and lash out again, but I promise that I will never doubt your love for our kids. Nothing I said was true and I won't let you go. You are the only woman I've ever loved, you are the only woman I will ever love. I won't stop fighting for us. For our family." Watching him cry is physically painful.

He stands and walks over to me. I watch as he pulls me to my feet and wraps his strong arms around us tightly.

"How am I supposed to stay away from you when you do stuff like this?" He laughs.

"You're not. You're supposed to let me love you and make it up to you." He kisses my forehead.

"Maybe I will then. I love you, Brax. I can't go through that again. Promise me, if you get scared we will talk about it. If you feel all protective then tell me you just want to keep us safe, but don't flip out on me." I'm opening myself up for hurt again, but I trust Braxton. It will take time for us to fully trust each other again, but I love him and with that comes trust.

"I promise. I also promise to love you." He kisses me on the lips this time and I smile. I could never resist Braxton.

He pulls back and lifts my shirt over my belly.

"Hi, little one. I missed you so much. I got in a fight with your mommy and said some really mean things, but they weren't true. I'm really sorry for hurting you both. Daddy loves you so much! Mommy does too!" His rough hands feel so gentle on my bump and it soothes me. He starts peppering kisses all over too. The top and bottom, then sides, and lastly my belly button.

When he finishes I feel a tiny flutter.

"Braxton, wait. I feel something. Something good." He looks up at me, confused.

I look down at the spot I felt it and press my palm there. I feel it again. Our son is kicking.

"He's kicking! Move your hand over here. Do you feel that?" His face transforms into wonder.

"I feel it. That is amazing, Em. Our baby is really going to be okay. He's going to be perfect." We both had stopped crying, but I feel tears in the back of my eyes.

"He is, but stop saying sweet stuff. Please, I've cried enough lately and I'd like to have five minutes with dry eyes." We both laugh and he pulls my shirt back down.

"Let's go make sure your dad isn't about to kill me." I laugh and he looks serious, but I know that everything will be alright. One look at Braxton's face and dad wouldn't be touching him. He got what he deserved and a lot more.

"Does it hurt?" I run my fingers over the one part of his jaw that doesn't look like it got put through a meat tenderizer.

"Yeah, but I deserve it. Ethan helped me get my head out of my ass."

"It was stuck up there pretty far." We both laugh again and he opens the door.

We walk downstairs and I see my parents, Ethan, and Julie at the table. Cora must be in bed already.

"Is Cora asleep?" Braxton asks before I even have a chance.

"Yeah, I'd say things went well by the fact that you're not crying with the loss of the family jewels?" Ethan looks serious and I laugh.

"Yeah, we also have news!"

"Before we get to the news, are you sure everything is okay, Emily?"

"We still have a lot of trust to get back, but I forgive him and I've decided to try to move on. Now, guess who kicked?" My mom lights up with a smile and rushes over to my belly followed by Julie.

"The baby kicked? That's amazing. I still remember the first time Cora kicked. You thought something was wrong, but I knew it was just her spitfire personality already showing through. Where was it?" I move her hand to the spot and he kicks her hand.

When Julie replaces my mom's hand with her own, he kicks again.

She smiles so big and Braxton and I share a grin. Our little boy is going to bring us so much joy.

"I should probably go back to bed, I'm exhausted. Night guys!" They all say goodnight and Braxton helps me back up the stairs.

"I can't wait to have dirty, hot, and sweaty makeup sex, but can we wait 'till tomorrow? I can't be in the bed I slept in as a kid and my parents are like 10 feet away. Not to mention, I'm exhausted." He just grins and whips his shirt off.

"Of course, the whole parent's thing is a little too close for my taste. I'm tired too."

He helps me into his t-shirt and pulls my pants off.

I love wearing his shirts, but I won't be able to for much longer because my belly is too far out.

We climb into bed and assume our typical position. Braxton's muscular arms are wrapped around me and the baby tightly and my head rests on his shoulder. It's definitely weird not being able to sleep on my back anymore.

"We need to start thinking of names." I have been thinking about giving him a name since the gender reveal.

"Yeah, we do. Do you have any ideas yet?"

"No, but I don't know if I can keep calling him he or the baby." He rubs my belly gently.

"Yeah, the fruit thing is a little weird now that he is a boy. I can't call my son a melon." I giggle and relax against him.

"Okay, well just think about it. Goodnight, Brax."

"Goodnight, Em. Love you, baby. Love you, Em."

"Love you, Brax." I fall asleep dreaming of names for our little boy.