Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

FUCK!

Lilly was currently taking a shower while I was having a massive crisis and possibly one of my first mental breakdowns in awhile. After last night, Lilly and I took a bath and went straight to bed. We woke up and Lilly went to do her morning schedule once I made sure I got enough morning kisses. Choosing to clean up our mess from last night, I went to grab the condom that was lazily tossed on the floor.

Here's where my problem and mental crisis starts. The condom was leaking from the tip. At the bottom there was a tear exactly where my piercing would have been. Seeing this made me almost faint since this has NEVER happened. Sure this was my first time being active with the piercing, but this kind of thing rarely happens.

By the time Lilly exited from the bathroom, I was laying on the bed staring up at the ceiling blankly. "Jason?" Her face appears in front of my vision with a look of concern. "Are you oka-" before she could finish, I sat right up. "Are you taking birth control?" Her eyes widened a bit. "No? Should I have been before we did it?"

A huge groan escaped from me. The idea of breathing became difficult and the only thing helping was Lilly's soothing hand rubbing circles on my back. "Jason breathe please. You can tell me what's wrong. Okay?" I took a much needed gulp of air before I looked straight at her. "The condom broke."

Silence.

Her face was blank and I was given no response. Her facial features didn't change and all she did was stare into space. Finally after awhile she came to with a calm look appearing on her. She took a large breath of air before grabbing my hands with a tight hold. "Whatever happens, happens. It was an accident. If we have a child from this, I will raise it with you and give it so much love. If nothing happens, we will move on with our lives like normal."

Tears formed in my eyes. I grabbed her into a hug and started sobbing how sorry I was. She slightly loosened the hug to look at me. "Jason it's not just your fault. Do you want kids?" I stared at her for awhile, trying to come up with an answer that wouldn't sound wrong. "Yes. But I wanted to have them later. I want to spend more time with you before we make that step in our lives." A giggle came from her causing a warm feeling to spread through me. "I love you Jason. You know that right?" I pecked her lips. "Yeah. I really love you too."

The last two weeks have been interesting since the condom broke. It took awhile for Jason to stop feeling bad about the situation since it was never his fault in the first place. Accidents happen and we will just have to work with whatever happens.

I bought a pregnancy test today since this is the usual time to check if a little human is growing in you. I didn't tell Jason about my buy since today is his first day back at work. Sure he was only a few floors below me in one of the many rooms in this massive place, but I felt he would cancel everything just to freak out the solid five minutes the test takes to register.

After messily peeing on the white stick, I sat in a curled ball on the bathroom floor. I didn't realize peeing on a stick was so nerve racking. Sure I don't mind if I'm pregnant or not since I know I have Jason to help me through the process, but the waiting process was overwhelming.

The alarm on my phone went off, alerting me it was time. I shakingly stood myself up to reach the sink to see the results. At first it looked like there was only one line, but after looking closer there was another line. An extremely faint line.

I rushed out of the room, not even knowing where I was running until I found myself in front of Jason's office. I paused before I stepped in, sweating bullets at the most recent news. Taking in one last gulp of breath, I slammed the door open. "I'm pregnant!" I yelled before I could see that Jason wasn't the only one in the office.

There sat a wide-eyed Jason with a furious Anthony grabbing onto Jason's collar. Anthony's head slowly moved over to look over at me, with a mixture of emotions on his face. Before any words were spit out, Jason very harshly shoved Anthony away and ran straight towards me. "H-how do you know?" I showed him the test, which he instantly snatched from my hand. I leaned over his shoulder and pointed at the faint line. He dropped the stick and hugged me so fast we ended up on the ground.

A stream of kisses were placed all over my face, with the final one on my lips. "Now don't get too excited. I still have to go to the doctors to get final conformation." He instantly pulled use up from the ground and went straight to the phone. "Is this Dr. Rice? Yes? Okay set me an appointment right now. I will be there in fifteen minutes." With that he hung up the phone and grabbed my hand to drag me out of the room. "Hold on! What the fuck is happening right now?!" Jason flipped Anthony off right before he dragged me out of the office. Before we exited the front door Anthony screamed from the top of the steps, "We're not done talking about this fucking PT bull shit you asshole!"

The bloodwork came in and Jason and I are definitely having a baby. Jason was so excited that once we entered the waiting room to leave, he very loudly told the room he was going to be a daddy. I was shocked to see him this excited since in the beginning he was upset about the whole thing. I'm not complaining though...

I'm going to start complaining. Jason has been carrying me around since he doesn't want me to 'over-exert' myself. He bought me about ten bottles of prenatal vitamins, has told every passing person that I am pregnant, and let's not forget my favorite, the constant questioning if I am okay. I know he means well and just wants to protect me and the baby, but dear lord it's worse than when I had my head injury.

Let's not forget that Anthony has been ignoring Jason. Apparently Anthony wasn't too happy about his first PT appointment. Jason and I were aware this was going to happen, but the grown man was acting like a toddler being told they can't play the iPad.

Now while Jason was being avoided, Anthony was all over me. "Why the hell did you not tell me you guys were going through a pregnancy scare?!" A large sigh escaped from me since I didn't feel like saying anything since my phone was blowing up with texts from Jason. I knew all of them were asking if I took my vitamins and if I was doing okay. At this point the two men in my life were causing an overwhelmingly painful migraine.