I couldn't sleep. Just knowing how stressed and panic Jason had been and seeing how poor Anthony's condition looked, I was up the entire night. My head injury has made my body want to just shut down, but my brain staid active. I had to make sure the two boys in my life were going to be okay for the night.

The nightmares didn't help either. Maria and Michael's face popped up every time I closed my eyes. Not wanting to relive what happened not even twenty-four hours ago, I kept my eyes open.

Every so often during the night, I would feel Jason squeeze my hand. A small smile would show up on his face once he felt me squeeze back, letting him know I was with him. I made the mistake of letting his hand go once during the night, and his eyes instantly shot open. He growled a 'No.' and snatched my hand back, kissed my knuckles, and fell back to sleep with a look of relief on his face.

Looking over at the clock on the bed side table, it showed it was a little after six in the morning. The sun started to peek through the blinds, lighting up the small room. Glancing down at Jason, I became some-what tempted to wake him since I was starving, but groaning noises stopped me from opening up my mouth.

Anthony was starting to stir in his sleep and within seconds of hearing his groans, he shot up from his bed and was screaming on the top of his lungs. His screams echoed through the hospital room causing Jason to shoot up from his sleep and run over to the distressed man. The screams were of pain and sadness. Wails and sobs mixed with the gut wrenching noise. Doctors and nurses rushed into the room, trying to calm him down while Jason assisted by holding him down by his shoulders, trying to keep his flailing body from injuring itself even more.

Frightened, but also wanting to help the man I considered a brother, I climbed off the bed and tried to walk over to Anthony. Before I could take two steps, I was lifted up and placed back on the bed. "Sit. Down." This was the first time Jason ever used an angry tone with me, causing tears to form in my eyes. "But Jason-" He interrupted me before I could finish. "No Lilly. You are hurt and there is nothing you can do but wait until he calms down." He turned away from me before I could argue.

I heard a nurse informing Jason they were going to lightly sedate him, give him more pain killers, and re-dress his wounds. Once Anthony calmed down and all that was heard was whimpers from the broken man, the doctors and nurses left, leaving the three of us in the room.

Anthony reached his hand out for Jason, and they held onto each other. "Jason?" The whimper coming from him brought more tears into my eyes. "Yeah?" The question that Anthony asked, knocked the wind out of my lungs.

"Where's my leg?"

After an hour of Jason explaining to Anthony the extent of his injuries and calming him down, Anthony gasped. "Where the hell is Lilly? Is she okay? Vincent told me she was hurt!" The questions were a mix of anger and sadness. I noticedJason's annoyance spike since the frantic man in front of him wouldn't allow him to get a word in. "Will you shut the fuck up!? She's right next to you!" Hearing Jason's words and ignoring his rudeness, Anthony's head shot right over to me. "Lilly!" he cried while more tears started to run down his face.

Although his right side of his face was covered in bandages and was swollen, I could still see his smile of joy and relief. I tried getting up again, but Jason growled "What did I say Lilly?" and I sat back down with a pout. Anthony having a similar want as mine threatened Jason to bring me over or he was going to hop over himself. The man that I was falling in love with looked right back at Anthony with a glare. He mumbled a quick 'fine', and picked me up to place me right next to Anthony.

Before I was fully set down, Anthony's arms wrapped around me in an air squeezing hug. "I'm so glad you're okay mi sorellina ( my little sister)." he breathed into my neck. Soon he was crying into my arms. "I'm going to grab us food. You guys go ahead and talk." Jason whispered into my ear. He left with a kiss to my temple.

Anthony released me within a few minutes after Jason's departure with snot and tears coating his face. I wiped the tears from his eyes and gave him a kiss on his forehead. "Are you okay Lilly?" he croaked with tear still falling down his face.

I told him about my injuries, and him being the curious child he was at the age on twenty-four, he wanted to see my staples. Knowing he was miserable about his own injuries, I gave in. "Fine. But you will have to hurry before Jason comes. He will have a fit seeing my bandage not on." With a spirt of excitement and giddiness I haven't seen from him in what felt like forever, I removed my bandage. I felt him move his face closer to the wound, trying to get a closer look. "Well that's fucking awesome!" Before I could ask him what it looked like, I was interrupted for the umpteenth time within the two hours we've been up during the Sunday morning.

"What's awesome?" Jason returned but once fully understanding what was happening in front of him, he knew what this 'awesome' thing was. "God damn it! I leave the fucking room for not even thirty minutes and you guys pull shit like this!"

I lost my privilege to be on Anthony's bed. Apparently he was a bad influence. For god sake I am twenty-two! Not five! Jason wasn't having mine and Anthony's whines effect him and instead chose to treat us like complete children.

*One Week Later*

Lilly was discharged today and I was shit scared. Her and Jason were the only ones that kept me sane while being in the alcohol and puke smelling hospital. Due to the extent of my injuries, I wasn't going to be allowed to leave for awhile to my glee.

The doctor listed off the other day that I was going to have to go through hours of PT, see a counselor, get fitted for a prosthetic, and have a few more skin grafts done before I could leave this hell hole. So basically I was going to be here for a fucking long ass time.

I saw my injuries for the first time the day before Lilly and Jason were leaving. Before this, I never even removed the blanket to see my now non-existent leg or ever looked in the mirror to see how bad my burns were. The only thing I didn't care about was my damn pinky, funny enough.

When the time came for the nurse to dress my wounds for the hundredth time since I've been here, I finally decided to see them. My charred skin and nub of a leg made my head swarm with thoughts that would be deemed as suicidal. But the first thing that came to mind, looking at the mess I have become, was I am a fucking monster.

The amount of times I have cried are deemed unfit for a man like me. I am a man born into the mafia. I have been shot over seven times, and not once have I cried. But at that moment, I didn't know what else to do but let the tear flow. Jason tried joking around that at least I still had half of my pinky left and Lilly was there to rub my back for reassurance.

"Hey. I don't know what I would do without you man." Were the first words Jason spoke once I calmed down. "Well you weren't thinking that when you had a gun in my face just because I was talking to your girl." I chuckled between my sniffles. The man's face paled once seeing the scowl on Lilly's face. "Uhhh..." Lilly quickly put in her input before he could try to come up with a shitty excuse. "Well Jason was dumb back then and he's sorry. Arn't you Jason?" He looked over at the dirty look he was receiving from his girl and quickly nodded his head without hesitation. God he was so whipped.

When informed by a nurse that it was okay for them to leave, Lilly cried. Poor Jason had a very difficult time trying to get her out of the room since she wouldn't detach from me. I told her I was going to be okay, but I really knew, deep down, I was a mess.