I couldn't sleep.

I should have just told him everything. I just didn't want to hurt him. That was my biggest fear. He was already going through so much and I just didn't want to add on to his misery.

But now I feel like I should have just told him.

You move on that fast?

Those words hit me hard. I thought marrying his brother was what he wanted. I reckon he would want Matt taking care of the children and I other then some other guy.

It was almost midnight and I still couldn't fall asleep. I eventually made up my mind that I would tell Jin everything. I was tired of hiding something so big from him. It's better he found out now then later.

~~~

I woke up around 12 in the afternoon. I jumped off the bed upset with myself. Usually I wake up early in the morning to make some breakfast for the kids. Then I would bathe them and place warm clothes on their tiny little bodies. But here I was hours late. I dashed into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I walked out the room and was stunned to see Jin and our children in the living room.

He was already dressed. He had on some jeans and a white T-shirt. He was in the process of tying Juniors shoes. I was not only impressed but surprised that Junior allowed him to tie his shoes. Dream was on the Jin's back giggling and tugging on his hair. She had on a pink dotted dress while Junior was dressed in his overalls.

Where were they going?

I walked over to them and Dream spotted me first "you're awake!" She said jumping off her fathers back. I lifted her up and gave her a hug in greeting. "Yeah, where are you guys going?"

"Ice cream!" Junior responded with a bright smile.

Jin kept his eyes concentrated on Juniors shoe laces. Once he tied the knot, he let his son loose to greet me. Then he slowly rose up and still frowning he said "yeah, we are going out for ice cream, want to join?"

"Were you planning on not inviting me at all?" I said a little hurt. Jin shrugged "well I didn't want to wake you"

I crossed my arms getting angry. Okay I get it, I made a mistake but he didn't have be petty. He knows I love to be around my kids. Especially when they were about to go get some ice cream. "So are you going to get ready or just stand there?" He said so cold that it instantly reminded me of how mean he could be.

I looked down and Junior was tugging on my leg to hurry up. He loved ice cream. It was like an addiction he could not avoid. Dream though caught on to the strong tension. She fell silent and waited for me to respond.

I faked a smile so she wouldn't worry. "Right, give me a second" I said

I raced to my bedroom and grabbed a beautiful strapless dress Jin picked out for me yesterday. He loved bright colors on me. So a bright cherry red really complimented my skin and exaggerated my curves in a positive way. I wanted to flaunt them in his face.

I placed my hair into a bun and wore some very light make up. Then I picked out some pumps to wear. Satisfied with my appearance, I walked out the room. I flinched when I spotted Jin at the door. He skimmed my body before whispering "we aren't going to the strip club you know that right?"

"What?"

He looked me up and down one last time "we are not going to the strip club"

I gritted my teeth and repeated "what?!"

He walked closer and rose his voice a little bit "we are not going to the-

"I know what you said!"

"So why do you keep saying what?"

"Because I can't believe you would be that insensitive! I didn't overdress Jin, I just want to feel pretty that's all" I said twirling around "is it that bad? You don't like it?"

He raise done of his eyebrows "not when our children is around. Come on Quinn-

"Then you shouldn't have picked it out yesterday!"I said

He rolled his eyes "fine, I was just stating my opinion. You asked for one and I gave it to you." Then He smiled "I don't think your husband would want you to walk around like-

Furious I slapped him as hard as I could. His face snapped to the side and he quickly reacted by grabbing on to my wrist. I flinched back and fought the tears. I shoved past him and grabbed my children from the couch "you guys ready?" I whispered to hide the pain from my voice. Junior was screaming in delight. Dream was the only one quiet.

The drive to the nearest ice cream shop took about five minutes. It wasn't a quiet car ride. Junior was rambling on about the ice cream flavors he would get. Dream wasn't as talkative, but she did mention how pretty I looked. I ignored her compliment and looked out the window. I could feel Jin's eyes burning on me. I knew he was staring. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction that his words got to me.

It doesn't matter. I was debating on when it was the right time to tell him about everything.

Once we got to the shop, Jin picked out a booth for all of us to sit at. Then he got up to order us some ice cream. There was a table beside us, it consisted of two young women with two young men. The women had their eyes all over Jin, whispering and giggling like high schoolers in love. I sank down in my seat steaming with jealousy. The two women were very beautiful. One was brunette and the other was blonde. Tall, skinny and beautiful. God I wish I was skinny like that. I really let myself go.

The two men though had their eyes glued to me. I sat up and stared back hoping they would stop looking at me. But they didn't even blink. One was very hairy; He had a bunch of facial hair, hairy arms, hairy legs, hairy armpits that were shown clearly because of his tank top. He looked like he was in his mid twenties. The other one reminded me of Zack and Nick. He looked similar to them and it's not because he was a red head. But he had similar facial features. Muscular built, very tall and handsome. His green eyes would not look away from me. It was making me feel self conscious.

The blonde quickly noticed this. She took her eyes away from Jin to stare at me. She started whispering to the red head and they all started laughing.

The teenage Quinn came back. The last time I stepped on the scale, I weighed almost 300 pounds. That's nothing but the weight all went to my ass and thighs. I didn't feel attractive at all.

Maybe that's why I chose to wear a dress today. I really wanted to feel beautiful. I wanted to go back to how I was years ago.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" Dream whispered.

I patted my face and was surprised to feel tears. "It's nothing, anyways what flavor ice cream are you two getting?"

Dream frowned but Junior said "strawberry!!" He said bouncing up and down his seat.

I heard more laughter. And spotted all four the young adults snickering.

What was so funny?

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up to see Jin there with all of our ice cream in a tray. His face was blank, but when he spotted my tears; he showed concern "why are you crying?" He whispered.

I shook my head "it's nothing"

He set the tray down and Junior was the first to grab his bowl of ice cream. Jin places his hand on my shoulder "is it cause of me?" He said looking guilty. I frowned. "No...I honestly don't know why I'm crying-

"It's cause of them!" Dream literally screamed and pointed at the table beside them. My jaw dropped "Dream! No pointing" I said

Jin looked over at the table and it was like in a blink of an eye, the whole table turned away. "Jin I swear, it's nothing" I said trying to convince him. But Jin still had his eyes glued to the table. I grabbed on to his arm but he flinched away "which one of them made you cry?" He asked. When I didn't answer he asked Dream "which one of them made your mom cry?" He said

Dream was ready to tell him but I slapped my hand over her mouth "Jin, it's not that serious-

Jin started walking to table. When he got close enough, he pointed at the red head and looked over to me "was it him?" He asked. I swear to god all eyes were on us. Even the employees. I sunk down in my seat and shook my head. He then pointed at the girl "was it her?"

She tried slithering away. I shook my head and ordered him to retreat back to our table.

"It was the hairy guy I think! The one that looks like a caveman" Dream responded; mouth full of ice cream. She was clearly enjoying the scene.

One of Jin's eyes twitched and he looked over at the hairy guy. They were the same size so I thought maybe Jin would talk to him or something. I didn't expect him to ask the guy "what's your name?"

The guys whole face turned beat red "David"

Jin smiled "David? I hate that name" he then snatched the guys arm and pulled him up. He shoved him then grabbed his collar and dragged him over to our table. "Jesus god Jin! We have children here!"

But he ignored me "why did you make my girl cry David?"

His girl? My heart fluttered

David shook his head looking very terrified "I didn't make her cry-

"You see this!" Jin said pointing at my face "those are tears, do you know what tears are?"

David hesitated before looking over his shoulder to his friends but Jin slapped him to face me. "Don't be a coward David-

"Look I'm sorry alright. We didn't say anything-

"So why were you laughing then?" Dream cheesed. Instigating a fight. I made sure to let her know if she talked one more time, a belt to the butt will be waiting for her back home.

David looked like he was about to pee his pants. "Look man, I didn't say anything-

"So why were you laughing!"

"Because- well-there was a comment about her weight..but I swear we were just joking- she's hot-she's actually smoking hot and-well-

"So you're saying my girlfriend is fat?" Jin hissed in his ear so aggressively that everyone heard David whimper. "No..I-

"And you think she's smoking hot? You think my girl is SMOKING HOT??" Jin yelled now gripping to the back of David's head. "Well no- I-

"No? You don't think she's hot?" Jin said now playing with him

"Yes! She's hot! But no, I'm just trying to be respectful and-

"Jin stop, I'm okay...just don't do this in front of Dream and Jin-

"You can do it in front of me. I don't mind" Dream smiled taking another bite of her ice cream.

Jin didn't look smitten "apologize to her" he ordered

"What?"

"APOLOGIZE"

"Okay, I'm sorry- we are sorry, we didn't mean to-

Jin shoved him away from our table "go back to your table you disgusting excuse of a man"

David ran back to his table instantly. Jin slid beside me and smiled "so I got you vanilla fudge. Is that okay?" He said completely changing the subject as if nothing happened. My jaw was still hung low and I looked over at the table one last time and one of the blonde girls was pointing at me looking very angry. "Daddy! That girl is pointing at mommy!" Dream said

In seconds Jin was up again. I told him to sit back down but he went up to the girl, she hid under the table afraid to death. That's when the red headed guy got up and next thing you know Jin socked him in the face. His head flew back and he laid flat on the ground. Everyone gasped. Satisfied Jin came back to our table and whispered "we should go before they call the cops"

I was beyond livid.

Juniors eyes got so big. Like big. he only made that face one time, and that was when Matt hit me.

Once we got back to the hotel I let all my rage out "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Let's not do this in front of the children" Jin said joining the kids in the living room. I followed him and whispered "let's go in our room then"

He shrugged and kissed them before joining me in the room.

"Why would you hit that guy in front of Dream and Junior? They are too young to see that" I said so furious, that I didn't care if spit was flying out my mouth. "I punched him for disrespecting you. I'm not teaching my kids violence, I just don't want anyone to disrespect you...

"I'm used to people talking about my weight" I said crossing my arms. "Well I'm not. I told you this during high school remember. Even though you fucked me over, I still care about you-

"Fucked you over?"

"Yeah. You got married. You let a man in my child's life. An abusive man. Do you know how bad I wanted to punch a wall? How can you possibly let that kind of man around my children?" He started pacing "you didn't even wait to see if I was really dead. You never once called Jason to confirm it! But you were quick to move on like I meant nothing!"

"It's not like that"

He stopped pacing "then what is it? Who the fuck did you marry? I want to see a picture. I want his last name, his address, everything! Does he even know you're here? How did you meet him, when was the wedding? Has he hit Dream or Junior?..." too many questions. I was attacked and the only thing I could say was "I'll tell you later"

"Later? Are you serious Quinn? What are you hiding?! This isn't you!"

"Please stop yelling"

"I'm going to kill him" he said grabbing on to a lamp and pretending to wack the air. "Just wait, I'm going to kill him, I'm so disappointed in you. As a mother you protect your children but you-

"Don't you dare question my-

"THEN ANSWER MY QUESTIONS!" He yelled slamming the lamp down; shattering it. His hand was bleeding because of this, but he didn't care he just kept pressuring me with more questions. But it was the final question that really got me. "Is he mine?"

"What?"

He looked up and stared at me as if I was stupid "Junior. Is he mine. He looks nothing like me."

Feeling dizzy I grabbed on to the bed to catch my balance "excuse me?"

He walked so close to me I thought we were going to kiss and make up "is. Junior. mine?"

"What!?" I repeated

He didn't hesitate when saying "I was away fighting fucking war. I can bet you met this guy and fucked him while I was away-

"What? NO!"

"I don't believe you" he smiled; I don't know what was up with that smile but it sent me over the edge. He was really pushing my buttons.

Furious I attempted on slapping him again. But this time he ducked. He was saying anything to hurt me. I know he is. There is just no possible way he would believe Junior wasn't his. His words were just cutting my heart. And I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to spill him everything but I don't think he can take the truth "get out!" I screamed

He scrunched up his face and said "fine!"

"Fine!" I screamed back

He started making his way to the door. And I got more heated. He was literally going to leave. "I fucking hate you" I screamed

"Oh yeah? I hate you too! Because god knows you would NEVER forgive me if I did what you did" he said pulling the door wide open and slamming it in my face.

He hates me? He will never forgive me?

I raced after him. I found him going straight to the front door. Dream clung to his arm "don't go, please don't go"

"Daddy has to go bye-bye-I'll be back alright" he said trying to pull away but she refused to let go. Junior stayed on the couch staring at the scene. It didn't take long before he started crying. I went to comfort him and ordered Dream to let go of her father. She eventually did. Jin didn't even hug her goodbye. He slammed the door and left Dream there crying.

"Dream come here" I whispered

She shook her head and whispered "this is your fault"

"What?"

"He's leaving us again because of you!" Then she raced to her room and slammed the door shut.

~~~

I cried the whole night. Even cuddling up with Junior only had me more in tears.

It all made sense why Jin distanced himself from his son.

He didn't think Junior was his.

I honestly didn't know if I was such an evil human like he portrayed. I was just trying to make things right. That's all. I didn't mean to make everything turn out like this. I wish I knew where Jin went. I hope he was safe. I tried to not let his words get to me but I couldn't help but let them. He hated me. Shit I hated myself. Even Dream hates me.

I was a bad mother.

I wish I can change things...but...

I don't know.

~~~

I didn't sleep the whole night. I couldn't sleep. My heart and mind wouldn't let me.

Someone was knocking on the door that morning and I left my sleeping son to go get it. I thought maybe it was a Jin. I was ready to spill all the apologies and the real truth. Anything to save our relationship.

But once I opened the door, my heart dropped to my vagina.

Matt was right at the door; he had on his shades with some sweatpants and a tight tank top. He had flowers in one hand and chocolates in the other. The only thing displeasing about this was his heavy frown. "Oh my lovely wife, good morning" he whispered. His frown didn't change "where's my brother?"