Seeing Drummer staring back at me brings back a whirlwind of feelings that I had buried deep within. I had forced myself to come to terms with the fact that we were over and would never see each other again. After hearing him having sex with another woman, I made myself believe that I no longer loved or wanted to be with him. I was wrong. All I want is to let him wrap his arms around me and tell me that he loves me. I know it'll never be that easy though.

"You just gone stare at me or you gone let me in?" He asks, picking up his bags and stepping closer to me.

Lifting my hand, I connect it with his cheek, slapping the shit out of him which makes him take a step back; holding his face. Turning around, I walk back into the house and he follows me; grabbing me and gently pushing my back against the wall. He leans down over me and looks into my eyes. His minty breath fans against my face as he lets out deep breaths, trying to contain his anger. My eyes travel to his lips and back to his eyes repeatedly, wanting to kiss him. Thankfully, he pulls away and stares into my soul before walking through the house, looking in closets, under the beds and couches.

"Drummer, what are you looking for? You can't be going through my shit!" I yell as I follow him around the house and watch him swing open the closet that has some of Nolan's clothes inside.

"Ain't this sum shit?" He says holding up a jacket, frowns covering his face. "So you been living with the nigga , playing house and shit while being pregnant with MY baby?"

Rolling my eyes, I start walking away from him until he says something that pisses me all the way off! "Is the baby even mine? You probably been hoeing!"

"You fucking idiot! You know damn well the baby is yours!! I was all about your ass until you let Chanel try to fuck you!! I fucking hate you! If you don't wanna be in your son's life then take your stupid ass back to Chicago!"

Drummer's cold facial expression melts away when he hears that we're having a boy and he drops the jacket, walking over to me and trying to grab me, but I push him away. "Move Drummer! Don't touch me!"

"Milani, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that shit. I only said it because I'm hurting. Knowing another man has been playing my role breaks my fucking heart." Drummer says as he cups my face with his big hands. Closing my eyes, I try to calm down, but a stray tear escapes my eye and he wipes it away.

"Please stop crying, Lani. I swear to God I didn't mean it."

I move his hands off me and wipe my face with my hands then turn my back and blink away the rest of my tears. I can't keep crying like I'm weak. I am strong and I'm not about to let any man make me cry. I am the motherfucking prize so I have to act like it.

"I'm good." I say then walk into the living room to sit down with Drummer following me then sitting down next to me. "Why are you even here? I know you didn't come all this way to threaten Nolan about us fucking. Not that it's any of your business, but that was the first and last time. I was vulnerable and pissed at you so I fucked him. You had sex with somebody else and so did I. We're even."

Drummer pulls me to him, despite, me trying to get him off me. He rubs his hands over my stomach until he feels the baby kick. "Damn, so I'm gone have a mini me?" He asks and I nod my head, rolling my eyes. "and Nolan? That weak ass name. I'll kill that nigga. I didn't just come here for that though. I came to talk about everything with you. Our baby will be here soon and we can't keep doing this shit. I've told yo ass before and this my last time saying it, I don't fucking want Chanel and I wasn't gone fuck her. You keep bringing that shit up cause you guilty about Brandon kissing you. As for us being even, Lani, that shit stupid. We ain't supposed to be getting even. All we're doing is continuing to hurt each other and I ain't raising my son around that toxic ass shit so either we gone be together and parent him or we gone leave each other alone and co-parent."

My eyes widen when he mentions the kiss with Brandon. I can't believe Brandon told him that. I hope Drummer's crazy ass didn't hurt him or even worse, kill him. Opening and closing my mouth, I try to form the words to explain what I'm feeling towards him right now. I hate to admit it, but the shit he's saying is true. We do need to either break this toxic ass cycle or leave each other alone.

"That kiss with Brandon meant nothing. He was under the influence and hurt over Chanel which doesn't justify it, but yeah, it is what it is. Brandon and I will never be anything more than friends. I'm over the shit between you and Chanel, I have forgiven both of you. You are right about us hurting each other and it does need to stop. I do love you and want to be with you, but I'm not ready for that right now. I need to take some time to think about whether or not I want to get back into a relationship with you. I'm still not over the fact that you slept with another woman, but claim you love me. That doesn't seem like love to me and I can't keep letting you put me in these situations."

"Listen to yourself, Lani. You ain't making no damn sense. You claim you love me and want to be with me, but you slept with another man. That doesn't seem like love to me neither, but here we are still in love. You need to take some responsibility for your actions and stop blaming me! I didn't make you kiss Brandon, you did that. I didn't make you sleep with Nolan, you did that. The choice to react to my mistakes are your own. Be a woman and admit that shit."

Thinking for a minute, I start to rub my temples because Drummer is making a lot of good points. No matter what I say, he's still right. I've spent most of my nights thinking he was the problem in our relationship and he caused it to end, but I am starting to realize that I was the problem. I am the one who ran when I caught him and Chanel instead of working through it with him. Chanel admitted that it was her fault and I didn't care. I selfishly moved to another state, knowing how bad he wanted to be apart of his child's life. Everything that has happened has been a fuck up on my part, not his.

"Okay." I shrug, not knowing what else to say.

"What the hell you mean okay? Okay what? Okay you wanna be with me or Okay you just want to co-parent?"

Before I can answer, I receive a phone call from one of my employees telling me that the venue is decorated and they're waiting on me to get there before letting the guests inside. I even heard Nolan's voice in the background.

"I'll be there soon."

Hanging up the phone, I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower; letting it heat up. Walking into the closet, I pull out my baby shower outfit which happens to be a royal blue, ruffled dress that hugs my baby bump. I also get out my silver accessories and "mommy to be" pin. My outfit will match the baby shower decorations that I picked out. After making sure I have everything laid out, I walk back into the bathroom.

"What you doing? You can't just get up and walk away like that. We have to come up with a decision about our relationship! Where you finna go?" Drummer asks turning off the shower.

Stepping aside, I turn it back on. "I am about to take a shower and get ready for my baby shower. People are waiting on me. We'll finish this discussion later. You are welcomed to stay here while I'm gone."

"Damn, so If I hadn't come here, you were gonna have the baby shower without me? Were you even going to tell me about it?" He says and I don't say anything. "That look gave you away. I thought we were better than that, MIlani."

As Drummer walks away with a sad expression and watery eyes, I connect my phone to the speaker and play the one song that I know matches our relationship: then get into the shower. The words play loudly as I sing along, realizing just how accurate it is.

Damn right, we take turns bein' wrong

I get real accountable when I'm alone

I get real about it all when I'm alone

After singing that part, I let my thoughts take over and relate parts of the song with my relationship to Drummer. Just like the song says, we both take turns being wrong and I actually do feel most accountable and be real about my actions when I am alone, thinking about everything. By the time I realize that I am supposed to be hurrying up, a verse to the song has skipped and it's on to the next. While cleansing my body, I think about the current verse that's playing.

All of this love is toxic

All of this love is toxic

All these kisses and hugs is knock shit

You a damn drug, you're toxic

"FUCK! WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS SHIT WITH HIM!!?" I scream as the lyrics flow through my mind. It's so damn true. Our love is so damn toxic, but he's my drug. No matter how toxic we are, I can't get enough. He gives me a natural high and I'll never find that anywhere else.

Turning off the shower, I wrap a towel around my body and walk into the living room, seeing Drummer with his back turned. He's having a heated discussion on the phone, telling whoever is on the other end that he may take a while getting back home because he needs to figure shit out with me. Once he hangs up the phone, I quickly speak up which makes him turn towards me.

"Who was that?" I ask, trying to see if that was the bitch he was fucking.

"Brandon." He says as he walks over to me, licking his lips and focusing his eyes on my legs. "You look good."

His gaze makes me nervous as I turn to walk away, until I realize why I came in here. I came to get my fucking man back. Pulling him to me, I allow myself to be free and not think about the past. I place a soft kiss on his lips and he cups my face, massaging my cheek. His lips trail down my neck as I moan from that and the tingling sensation between my thighs. His hands run down my body until he's gripping my ass cheeks through the towel. Pulling back, I look into his eyes before crashing my lips into his and letting his tongue win the battle in our mouths. He moans lowly as I reach out and caress his dick through his pants, making it grow. He tugs at the towel wrapped around me, but I stop him and take a step back.

"No, we can't do this. I know I started it, but I have to finish getting ready and we still need to talk about some shit before I make a final decision." I say as I squeeze my thighs together, trying to calm my lil pussy down.

"Aite, we can wait on the sex, but I know that pussy wet for me. You need to quit playing and be my girl again."

Winking my eye, I tell him I'll think about it and walk into the bedroom; getting dressed in my outfit. By the time I'm finished and grabbing my car keys, Drummer is waiting for me in the living room dressed in a white button down and jeans paired with royal blue, black, and white, Jordan 1 retros.

"You ready to go?" He asks me and I smile nervously as a bead of sweat rolls down my forehead. I have no lie as to why he can't go and I know he'll show his ass if I don't let him come with me. Plus I feel bad that he's already missed so much of my pregnancy.

"I um I um..yeah, I guess."

I follow Drummer out of the house and lock the door behind us then give him my car keys. He opens the door for me and lets me inside then gets into the driver's seat. Thinking quickly, I make up a lie for him to go back into the house.

"Can you go back inside and get me a bottle of water, my silver hoop earrings, and my blood pressure pills? They're somewhere in the bathroom." I lie smoothly, knowing damn well that I don't have blood pressure pills.

Nodding his head, he takes the house key off the key ring and goes back into the house. While he's gone, I quickly call all of my employees, but none of them answer so I call Nolan. When he answers the phone, Drummer is about to get back into the car so I hang up and toss my phone into my purse.

"I got the water and earrings, but I couldn't find the pills. Are you okay? Should I go look again?" He asks worried about me.

"Thank you and no, I'm fine. I'll be okay. Let's go."

Drummer pulls off and follows the directions that I give him until we make it to the venue. I instruct him to park in the back so the crowd doesn't see us as we walk inside. My eyes fill with water as soon as I see my dream baby shower right in front of me. I smile widely and thank my employees as they put their gifts on the table.

"Thank you all so much! It's beautiful! I love it!" I beam, accepting the paper towel from Drummer and use it to softly wipe my face, not wanting to ruin my makeup.

Pulling Michael to the side, I tell Drummer that we'll be back. "Michael, I need one last favor."

"Anything for you, boss. Wassup?"

"Okay, so the guy I came in with is my crazy ass baby daddy, Drummer, and he's gonna act a motherfucking fool if he sees that Nolan is here to take his place. Originally, Drummer and I weren't together, but he flew in this morning and we talked about some stuff. I think we're going to get back together, but having Nolan here will only cause more drama between us. As y'all let the guests in, I need you to get rid of Nolan before Drummer sees him."

Michael bucks his eyes and says, "WHEW! That's some crazy shit, but I got your back" then walks over to the front doors to let everyone in. Turning around, I almost shit myself when I seen Nolan and Drummer having a full blown conversation. Walking over to them, I put a smile on my face and try to get Drummer away from Nolan before he figures out who he is.

"Drummer, lets go sit down! My feet are starting to swell!" I damn near yell.

Nodding his head, he turns towards Nolan, daps him up and says, "Aite man, nice to meet you. What did you say your name was again?" Before Nolan can respond, Michael walks up and grabs Nolan's arm, claiming that he needs help with something. I let out a sigh of relief as I drag Drummer up to the table where our big white, king style chairs are sitting. The two of us sit down and I catch Nolan taking glances at us then giving me a death stare so I shrug my shoulders.

"Wassup with you and why he looking at you like that?" Drummer asks, looking into my eyes.

"N-nothing! I am good! He's not looking at me. He's looking at the decorations around us."

Drummer opens his mouth to say something, but is caught off by multiple guests who come greet me, give me their well wishes/congratulations then put their gifts on the table. I try my best to calm my nerves , but they shoot back up every time I see Nolan trying to walk over to us, thankfully, people keep getting in his way. Moments later, Michael walks over to me and whispers in my ear, "He won't leave. We've tried everything. I am sorry, but I think he's staying."

I nod my head slowly and blow out a deep breath as my leg shakes up and down. Closing my eyes, I inhale and exhale until I feel a hand on my shoulder and hear a familiar voice in my ear which makes me open my eyes.

"Congratulations sister. I am still pissed the fuck off at you, but Michael invited me and I didn't want to miss your big day. Each day, I've forced myself to forgive you so I don't totally hate you anymore." Kimora says, sitting down multiple gift bags.

"Thank you. Just imagine how I felt when you slept with and got pregnant by Tariq. If I was able to get over that, you can get over what I did."

"Touche." Kimora says before fixing her a plate of food and sitting down.

"Are you hungry Milani?" Drummer asks as he stands up. "If you are, I'll fix your plates so you don't have to put any more pressure on your feet."

"Yeah, I am."

Drummer walks over to the food table while I continue to thank my guests and accept gifts. My table is covered with gifts and I almost start crying again until I hear loud commotion as the food table comes crashing down; food flying everywhere.

"DRUMMER STOP!! GET OFF HIM!! SOMEBODY CALL A PARAMEDIC!!! " Kimora yells, making me whip my head towards the action. I buck my eyes when I see Drummer beating the literal shit out of Nolan.

Here we go again with the motherfucking DRAMA!!!