"Ms. Ross, the balloons are in. These are what you ordered right?" My employee asks, pointing to the many boxes sitting on the floor.

Walking over to them, I slowly bend my big ass over and see bright yellow, white, and black balloons. Rubbing my temples, I take a deep breath and ask my other employees to start blowing them up.

"What's wrong?? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. The balloons are the wrong color, but we'll make it work like always." I smile and help them set up the venue as best as I can.

As the caterer brings in the cake and other treats, I grab a few fake sunflowers then add them in a vase. I also add a string of big sunflowers alongside the yellow curtains that hang around the banner that displays, "Welcome baby Jordynn." A smile appears across my face when I look over the setup one last time, making sure that everything is perfect before the soon to be mama comes. I hope she loves it.

I start thinking about my own baby as I rub my stomach, pressing into it to make him move around. The feeling of him tossing and turning warms my heart. I can't wait to meet him. My vibrating phone snaps me out of my thoughts so I quickly answer it when I see my client's name pop up on the screen. After hearing her tell me that her and her guests are on the way, I let my photographer take photos then we all head back to our cars.

"Michael, you'll be getting a call when the client's baby shower is over. Can you get the crew to help you gather up our stuff? I won't be able to help tonight because I'm going to church with Nolan."

"I gotcha, boss." He says then hugs me.

Pulling off in my car, I drive back to my house and walk upstairs to my room. The house is empty right now because my sister, her man, and her kids are having a family day. I did want to go with them, but I decided to stay here because Nolan asked me to go to church with him. I'm surprised he still wants to be around me after I basically shut him down.

After taking a shower and getting dressed in a simple, pink dress and leopard flats, I grab my matching purse and walk downstairs when I get the text from Nolan saying that he's outside.

"You look beautiful. That color suits your skin." He tells me as he opens the car door for me and lets me inside then closes the door.

"Thank you. Are you still upset with me?" I ask, nervously biting my lip.

"No problem and Milani, I told you yesterday that I wasn't upset. I'm just glad that you agreed to come to church with me. This sermon will be special."

Nolan focuses on the road while he drives and my mind wonders what makes the sermon so special. Deciding that I can't wait for the surprise, I ask him about it.

"What makes it so special, Nolan?"

"You know I've told you that my uncle is the pastor right?" He says and I nod my head. "Well I told him what we had going on and about your issues from Chicago. I asked him to prepare a sermon specifically for you."

Since I have no idea whether I'm mad that he told his uncle my business or happy that he cares enough about me to get me help, I stare out of the window with a goofy smile on my face; not saying anything.

"Have you been planning your baby shower, Lani? He'll be here before you know it."

"I have an idea of how I want it, but I haven't really planned. I'll have all of that done by next week."

Nolan nods his head and licks his lips. "Is your baby daddy coming?"

Here we go again. I think as I take a deep breath. "No, he's not coming. I don't know why you're so worried about my relationship with him. I told you we haven't talked since I left Chicago. I'm sure he's doing his thing and I'm doing the same."

Ignoring my words, Nolan whips the car into a parking spot at the church, lets me out the car, and closes the door behind me. The two of us walk into the church and I try to drag him to the back, but he doesn't budge and pulls me to the front.

His uncle walks up onto the pulpit and we bow our heads as he says a prayer. The choir sings two songs before having a seat and letting the preacher speak. As he gets up and clear his throat, I take a deep breath and exhale deeply; clearing my mind so that I can focus on what he's saying.

"Let the church say amen." He says.

"AMEN PASTOR!!" The members say back in unison.

"Today this sermon is influenced by my nephew and the good Lord, of course. I'm not gone keep y'all here all night so lets get straight to it. Turn your Bibles to Matthew 6: 14-15. When you have it say amen."

"Amen." Nolan says as he holds out the Bible in front of us, making sure that I can see.

"The first message I want to give you all is forgiveness. Matthew 6: 14-15 says, For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Now you must understand that no matter how mad you are or what someone did to you, you have to forgive them. I know it may be hard, but how do you think God feels when we repeatedly go against his word and he forgives us? How can you expect him to forgive you for even worse mistakes than what someone has done to you when you can't forgive them for simpler mistakes? I don't care if your sister, best friend, boyfriend, mama, dad or whoever hurt you... FORGIVE THEM!! You are only hindering yourself by not forgiving them! Don't block your blessings trying to hold grudges! Can I give y'all another message? Say amen if you're with me."

"AMEN!" I say with tears in my eyes, thoughts of Chanel and Drummer flooding my mind.

"I hear ya sista!!!" The pastor says as he wipes the sweat from his forehead with a towel. "Turn to 2 Corinthians 4:9. The scripture reads Persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. The Lord is sayingggg HA HA! You may be persecuteddddd HA! But youuuuu are not forsaken!!! The LORD is with you!!! You may be going through it HA HA, beaten HA, broken down, HA, heartbroken, betrayed, tired, but youuuuu are not destroyed!!!!" He says walking away from the microphone. "I don't think y'all listening to me!"

"We hear you pastor!!"

"SPEAK PASTOR!!"

"Hallelujah"

"GOD IS NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!! You mayyy not understandd but he does!!...... He gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers and YOU are one of them!! The Lord is calling out to you telling you to forgive!!! Let goooo of the heartbreak and pray!! Keep him first and he will show you the way!" The pastor says, making me stand up.

My emotions run wild as I lift my hands up in the air, rocking side to side. I feel like bricks have been lifted off my tired shoulders. The choir starts to sing softly as the pastor calls people up to the alter and I slowly walk up; letting him pray over me.

When he's finished praying over everyone, he says one final prayer and ends the service so I beg Nolan to take me over to him.

"Uncle James, this is Milani, the woman I was telling you about and Milani, this is my uncle James." Nolan smiles.

"Mr. James, I just wanted to say thank you for the sermon. It made me realize a lot of things that I need to do in my life. I know you don't know me, but your words touched me more than you'll ever know. I've never felt this way at church before and I enjoyed it." I explain to him as tears roll down my face.

Pastor James pulls me into a hug then stares into my eyes. "I can tell you're going through it Milani, but you will be okay. With God on your side, you'll be able to overcome anything. I'm glad you received my message and enjoyed the sermon. I hope to see you back here. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Pastor."

Nolan and his uncle hug and whisper something to each other then we go back to his car; getting inside and driving back to my house. Before I leave the car, I turn towards Nolan and smile widely.

"Thank you for tonight, Nolan. I appreciate it so much and I've made the decision to let everything go. I'm no longer going to hold on to grudges and be heartbroken over the past. In order to move on, I have to forgive and I'm gonnna start right now."

"You're welcome, Milani. I'll call you later."

"Okay." I say as I walk into the house.

Pulling out my phone, I dial Brandon's number so I can make things right with him then I'll work my way down the ladder.

"Wassup Stranger?" He says into the phone, sounding dry.

"Brandon, I'm so sorry for leaving you in Chicago. I hope you forgive me and I miss you. I feel like I've missed so much of your life and you've missed so much of mine. Pleas forgive me." He doesn't say anything so I say "please" once more.

"Fine, I forgive yo fat headed ass. I miss you too, Lani. How you been? How the baby doing?"

"I've been doing good. Better now that I'm talking to you. He's doing fine. He'll be here soon."

"He? Damn, it's a boy?? That's wassup!! I can't wait to see that lil nigga and hold him. What Drummer say bout it?"

I bite my lip as I decide whether or not to tell the truth.

"I haven't told him or talked to him, but I'll call him soon. I swear, I will....How is he?" I ask as I start changing into my pajamas.

"Honestly, I don't know. He called me late last night saying he fucked up, but he wouldn't answer when I called back. He's been MIA a lot and just dealing with shit on his own." He explains to me.

My heart starts beating quicker and my palms are sweating. I hate to admit it, but I'm worried about Drummer. He's probably spiraling out of control and nobody even knows.

"Milani, don't start worrying. You know that's not good for the baby. I'm sure he's okay. You know how he is. He's probably just staying out the way, not tryna be around folks while he's hurt and shit. I'm sure that's all it is."

Easier said than done. I think to myself before speaking. "Where's his dad? What about Tae? I know somebody has to have heard from him and been checking on him. Hell, even you could've checked on him."

"His pops spends all his time with Hazel. They're engaged and shit so they be worried bout planning the wedding. Tae and his girl expecting a baby so he been working a lot, tryna save money for his lil family. As for me, I've been spending time with my girl, going to counseling and stuff like that. Me and Chanel been tryna get back to how we used to be. I can't check on nobody who don't wanna be checked on. He be blowing me off, missing my calls, not showing up when he says he will so it ain't nun I can do. When I pull up to his crib, he either ain't there or don't open the door."

"Well damn, a lot has happened since I been gone, but still all y'all know it's not right to just abandon him when he's hurting. That ain't right. He could be having a mental breakdown." I sigh loudly rubbing my fingers through my hair.

"Milani, you knew it wasn't right and you still did it too so you can't be blaming us. Some of us can't put our lives on hold and move to another state to act like ain't nothing happened." Brandon says, making me feel guilty.

"Fuck you, Brandon." I'm about to hang up the phone until he calls my name then apologizes. "I'm sorry, Lani. Didn't mean for it to come out like that, but you know it's the truth. It needed to be said."

"You're right, I apologize for blaming y'all when I'm the biggest cause of this. I'll fix it though. So how's Chanel?"

"Ask her yourself." He says then his voice disappears and is replaced by a shaky, nervous one. "M-Milani? Um hey. How you doing?"

"Hey, Chanel. I'm doing good."

"I need to say something." We both say in unison and I tell her to go first.

"Milani, I was the worst best friend ever for the shit I did with Drummer and I truly am sorry. I had no right to try and fuck him because I was hurt. I was drunk but that doesn't justify my actions. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me because you are my best friend and I love you to death. My life has been so empty without you and I hate that. It was all me and none of it was Drummer's fault. He tried to fight me off without hurting me, but I just wouldn't stop trying. Please, please, forgive me and be my best friend again. I know it'll take time, but I'll wait."

"I forgive you, Chanel. I can't hold on to the anger and pain any longer. I just want to move on from all of the drama and craziness. I love you too and we'll get through it. We always do. I'll talk to y'all soon, I have to go now."

Hanging up the phone, I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. Now that I've fixed things with those two, there's only one person left that I have to forgive and fix things with:

Drummer.