I knew Sabrina and Jake were up to something, I just never imagined it would be as bad as it is. She was shattered yesterday, I've never seen her like that, even when she showed up on my doorstep after running away from home. I knew she was really bothered by what was written on those flyers. All day she asked if I thought she was too skinny, if I thought she was a burden, if I thought she was weird.

It had ruined Sasha, the confidence she managed to get over the past few weeks was gone. She just laid in my arms and I told her over and over again that I loved her, that she meant the world to me.

She kept telling me that she didn't have an eating disorder. From the outside looking in it could be easy for someone to make that assumption. She only really ate one meal a day unless somebody forced her to eat more, and occasionally she'd throw up. But she wasn't refusing food because she didn't want to gain weight, she was refusing it because she would get really sick if she ate too much.

I'd seen it, I knew it was real. After eating a big meal at breakfast time, she'd lay down in bed and groan, curling up in the feta position. I knew something was wrong there, but it wasn't psychological, it was physical.

My poor beautiful girlfriend was broken. This wasn't what she needed at all this week, she needed no stress and a ton of support. She flies out to Boston on Thursday night and then she's at nationals. Today's Tuesday and she's not in it, she went to her practices yesterday but she wasn't the same. It was mindless, just her repeating a set of moves.

Her busy life helped her to forget it most of the time, but I know she just can't pretend nothing happened. Sometimes she'd just start crying at random moments and it broke my heart. I knew she was believing the rumours, the part about being too skinny and 'what did I see in her?'.

I loved Sasha more than anything, there's never been somebody I loved more than her. Her food did concern me but she knew that and at the end of the day it was something she really couldn't control.

Mom called and excused me from classes when she found out what happened. I knew they'd done this for a few reasons. Number one, to kill Sasha's confidence. Number two to put a strain on our relationship. Number three, to hurt me by hurting her. And number four, to psych her out before her big competition this weekend. This was cruel and it was the reason I hated dating Sabrina. She was mean and absolutely insane.

Right now she's at her morning practice and she looks exhausted. I stayed with her last night and I chose to bring her here today too. I didn't want her to be alone, she was so miserable.

"Nate." Kate says, sitting in the chair next to me. "Do you know what's up with Sasha?" She asks sounding worried and I sigh.

"Somebody snuck into school yesterday morning and put up these flyers." I mumble, passing her one and her eyes widen.

"Who would do something like this?" She asks, reading the long passage at the bottom. "The physique of and eight-year-old? Daddy issues?!"

"My ex-girlfriend and my ex-friend. She cheated on me with him for six months, I broke up with her not too long ago because I really had feelings for Sasha." I say quietly. "She's still not over it obviously."

"What a bitch." She says flatly and I nod. "What's your school doing about it?"

"Nothing as near as I can tell." I tell her and her eyes widen. "Sasha's parents are going after it, I know they've hired a lawyer and they've taken it to the police."

"The police?" She repeats and I nod. "What makes this girl so dangerous?"

"I've seen her do horrible things, things like having teachers fired. Principal Barnes is only five years from retirement and I think he'd like to stay employed." I say bitterly and she sighs.

"I should talk to her." She says quietly. "She probably feels so alone."

"I know she's really upset." I tell her. "I can't seem to do anything that makes it better." I whisper, feeling tears in the back of my eyes.

"Aw honey." She says, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. "You have no idea how much that girl loves you. She talks about you all the time, tells me about the things you get to do together. She puts you on a pedestal Nate, she's convinced there's nobody else like you. And quite honestly I don't think there is either."

"I just....I know why they did it this way." I tell her, feeling a tear run over my cheek. "They didn't go after me because it hurts twice as much to see her this way."

"It'll all work itself out." She assures me. "Sasha's tough and at the end of the day, you both know she doesn't have an eating disorder. You know how you feel about her, and that you don't believe any of that stuff." I nod and she smiles. "You need each other right now."

"I know." I breathe and she smiles.

"Do you want to give her a hug?" She asks. "We can take a break." I nod without thinking and she smiles standing up and calling out to Sasha, who skates over quickly.

I hop out of my chair and walk over quickly, she gets off the ice and meets me in the middle, wrapping her arms around me.

"Hey." I say quietly and she presses her face into my chest.

"Nathan." She whispers and I give her a squeeze.

"I love you." I tell her quietly and she nods.

"I love you more." She whispers back and I smile.

"I thought we agreed it was a tie." I remind her and she smiles a bit. That was amazing, I hadn't seen her smile in ages.

"Look I want you to know, I don't think or agree with anything that Sabrina put on that poster. You're not socially-awkward, your an amazing friend who cares about everyone. You're not too skinny, or flat-chested and you don't have the physique of an eight year old. You're beautiful and sexy and I think about you all the time. Your hips, your eyes, your legs, everything. I know you don't have an eating disorder, and I know your food problems are something you're working on." I say quietly through my tears, while I rub hers into her cheeks, holding her face in my hands.

"I love you because of the person you are on the inside. I love you because you actively make time to show me how much you care about me. Because when you left home and sat in my bathroom bleeding, you asked me if I was okay. You're beautiful on the inside and on the outside. I told you we're connected, remember?" I ask and she nods pressing her lips together.

I watch as she brings her wrist next to mine and our bracelets snap together. She then holds my hand that's now attached to hers and I smile.

"I-I know none of it's true." She whispers. "I'm just scared everyone will think it is. Nathan I just crested the loser hill, I was finally normal and I didn't feel hated by everyone. Now-"

"Now we'll be losers together." I tell her and she gives me a weird look. "People aren't going to give up on you Sasha, people like Micheal, Irene, Malcolm and Adrian aren't going to turn their backs on you."

"It was just nice to not be on the bottom for a while." She says quietly and I nod.

"I know it was, but anyone who's going to harass you about having an eating disorder that you don't even have, isn't someone that's worth your time anyway." I tell her and she nods. "Baby I know this is horrible, but I'm with you on this. Don't let them get in your head."

"You're right." She whispers and I nod. "The skating and training helps, I can just focus my attention on something else."

"Then lean into it." I tell her and she smiles a bit.

"Mom and dad are taking this really seriously, they've already started a lawsuit or something against the school." She mumbles. "It's weird I haven't seen them....work on something together in a while."

"Good I hope someone will finally teach Sabrina a lesson." I whisper and she wraps her arms around me, giving me a good squeeze.

"Thank you for staying with me last night." She whispers. "And for coming this morning."

"It's alright, you know I'd do anything for you." I tell her and she smiles.

"I have to go to my therapy appointment this afternoon." She says quietly. "Will you take me?"

"Of course I'll take you." I whisper and she nods, giving my hand a good squeeze.

"After yesterday she wants to talk to me about food, and I hate talking about it. I don't know what she'll say......what if she does tell me I have an eating disorder? Then it's not a rumour, it's just the truth."

"Then we'll take it as it comes." I tell her and she sighs. "I know it's scary but I'm here for you."

"You're the best." She whispers and I smile.

"Now get back out there, you're doing amazing." I tell her and she smiles skating back into the middle of the rink.

>

"How bad do you think this will be?" She groans as we walk up to the school and I put my arm over her shoulders.

"It'll be fine." I whisper and she nods.

Fortunately nobody heckles us, unfortunately everyone is staring and whispering. It's almost worse this way because there's no way to know what anyone really thinks.

We just turn and walk down the hallway, I feel her really lean into my side as we go to our first class.

"Sasha." We hear and see miss Fleming, the guidance councillor walking over towards us. "Honey, if you want to talk to someone I just want you to know that there's resources available-"

"Miss Fleming I don't have an eating disorder." Sasha says bluntly. "Just because I'm skinny and somebody made up a rumour about me does not mean I need counselling."

"I know, but if you're afraid to come forward that's alright. It's never easy to tell someone you think you need help, here's a pamphlet on anorexia and bulimia, maybe give it a read?" She says passing it to Sasha and I take it out of her hands.

"Are you out of your mind?" I ask through gritted teeth. "You're not here to convince teenagers that they have eating disorders. Leave my girlfriend alone." I huff and tear the pamphlet in half, throwing it on the ground.

"Nate you're being very damaging to-"

"Miss Fleming." Sasha says from beside me. "If I wanted help I'd ask for it, I don't puke my guts out after I eat or pass up food because I'm scared I'll get fat. Even if I did have an eating disorder, do you think accosting me in the hallway is right?" She asks in an incredulous tone.

"Sasha I'm just trying to be helpful, sometimes people don't know when they need help and I just want you to know what's available to help you." She says.

"I don't need help!" Sasha yells.

"There's a support-group for other young girls going through what you are, they meet at the church on Clarke street on Thursdays to talk. Here's the address." She says passing a slip of paper over to Sasha.

"I'm not 'going through' anything." She says. "This is completely unprofessional, I puked once at school because I felt unwell and the next thing I know everyone thinks I'm bulimic and I have you shoving this stuff down my throat?! I see a professional counsellor to help me with my stress around competing, I'd talk to her if I had questions." She huffs and tears the paper in half.

She takes my hand and pulls me down the hall away from a very confused miss Fleming. She just shakes her head, clearly trying to forget about the horrible interaction and I walk with her into our first class.

"Hey ice queen!" I hear and see a tall boy standing next to Sasha's desk. "Hungry?" He asks and proceeds to dump a cup of pudding out onto her desk. "I'd be happy to feed it to you." He says with an evil grin and picks up a glob of it and flicks it onto her face.

I'm up out of my chair before I know what I'm doing and suddenly I'm face to face with him. "Fuck off Miles." I say, shoving him back.

"Boys stop it!" I hear the teacher shout from the front of the room. "Miles go get some paper towel and clean up this mess."

When I turn back I see Sasha's face turning red and her eyes filling up with tears. She just shakes her head and stands up walking to the door, wiping off some of the pudding. She almost makes it before she runs into a very late Sabrina, walking into class.

"Ooh, careful there Elsa this is a new Valentino top. Nice to see that you're getting some calories in, did your little chat with miss Fleming help? I told her I was a very concerned classmate and I really thought you could use some guidance." She says, narrowing her eyes.

Sasha just pushes past her into the hallway and she snickers. "Running to puke ice queen? You'd better go fast!" She calls and the whole class bursts into quiet conversations and laughter. I get my things and go after her as fast as I can, but Sabrina stops me.

"Miss me yet?" She asks and I push her hands off me.

"Fuck you." I spit and she gets in front of me again, blocking me.

"This doesn't stop Nate, you'd better just come to your senses and come back where you belong." She says and I roll my eyes. "I'd be more than willing to take you back."

"Why on earth would I want you back?" I ask with genuine laughter, which she seems to take great offence to. "I know why you did this, because you can't handle that for once someone has something you don't. You make fun of Sasha for being skinny when we all know it's because you're insecure. Because you're the youngest person in this city to get a nose-job." Her hands instantly fly up over her face and I roll my eyes.

"You're the one with serious issues, not Sasha. You're mentally unstable and I'm honestly convinced you're a psychopath. Not everything's about you, I hate you and if you speak to my girlfriend like that again, there'll be hell to pay."

"But I'm your girlfriend!" She screams and everyone in the class looks at her and laughs.

"No you're not." I say, laughing and shaking my head. "And you never will be. Grow up." I huff and head down the hallway trying to figure out where Sasha went.