Today is a huge day. Nate is supposed to pick me up at seven after his hockey game and the two of us can hopefully, spend a quiet night together in his room. I wasn't sure if I was really anxious or really excited, I didn't want to rush anything and I hoped it would be perfect.

I was glad we didn't end up going through with any of it on Thursday. I was so overwhelmed from missing Nate the two of us almost did it then. But I knew that wasn't what he was envisioning and quite honestly, it wasn't what I had in mind either.

Doing it tonight would be amazing, slow, quiet. We'd be as close as two people could be. I honestly needed a distraction after the week I've had, I was tired and stressed out. I had an opportunity right now to really make a dream come true, and I didn't want to waste it.

This week had been physically and mentally exhausting, I'd done so many things and I'd spoken to so many people. I just didn't want Nate to get lost in my laundry list, he was my priority, even if I was awful at showing him that. I was hoping tonight would make everything up and help us hit the restart for the week.

I knew he said none of this bothered him, but I found that incredibly hard to believe. There must be some part of him that wishes I still had loads of free time to spend with him. My competition was in less than two weeks so there was a chance things could calm down for a while. But then what? I'd still be training for my auditions and the next season of skating.

I decided that while I had some free time this afternoon that I should call Micheal. Nate was playing hockey for a few more hours so I had some time to burn after my practice today. I wanted to chat with him and make sure he was doing alright.

"Hey Sash!" He says cheerfully over the other end and I laugh.

"Hey stranger." I say and he laughs. "Look I have a few hours until Nate-"

"Going a little crazy without vitamin-N are we?" He asks and I laugh.

"I guess." I admit and he laughs. "But I miss you and I haven't hung out with you in ages! Can you come over?"

"I'd love to, should be there in five." He says and I smile.

"Perfect I'll see you soon!" I say and hang up trying to wipe the smile off my face.

Micheal always made me laugh, he was funny and talked a lot of sense into me. I missed spending time with him but with all the crazy skating he and Irene have been doing, he hasn't been free in a while.

Soon enough I hear my doorbell ringing and I hop down the stairs to open it.

"Hey." He says and gives me a hug and his signature single kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, ugh I missed you!" I tell him and he laughs.

"Same here, I want all the details." He says and I laugh leading him back to my room. "Tell me everything!"

"Well we're together." I mumble looking at the floor and he laughs. He didn't even need to tell me what he was talking about, I knew he wanted to know about me and Nate.

"Yeah I know Sash, I'm not blind." He says and I laugh. "I was right wasn't I? I called this months ago if memory serves." He informs me and I roll my eyes.

"I suppose you did." I tell him, narrowing my eyes and he laughs.

"I knew you couldn't stay away from someone like Nathan Carter. You and him just have way too much chemistry." He teases and I laugh. "But are you happy? Because that's all I care about."

"I am." I whisper with a sappy grin. "He's amazing."

"I'm glad." He says and I laugh. "You've been my girl since day one Sash, it's nice to see you so....into somebody else."

"There's just.....nothing he can't fix. He always brings my mood up and he's really understanding." I say and then stop myself, hearing the rainbows and butterflies spilling out with my words.

"You're so in love." He says with a laugh. "I can't believe you guys have come all this way together. From best friends, to enemies, to lovers. It's astounding."

"He's still my best friend." I tell him and he laughs. "Look at this." I say finding the bracelet he gave to me the other night.

"What is it?" He asks and I smile.

"It's the bracelet I made for him when we were nine. He kept it and regifted it back to me." I tell him and his eyes widen. "Who else does that?" I ask and he laughs

"Sounds a little cheap if you ask me." He teases and I nudge him. "I'm kidding, that's so sweet." He says and I nod. "Have you been on many dates?"

"Just the one." I admit. "We've only been together for a little over a week and since my glorious return to figure skating I haven't had any time."

"That's too bad." He says and I nod. "Are you excited though? A second chance doesn't come too often."

"I am, I'm also nervous but I'm just so happy to be back."

"I noticed you're back without your dad.....is everything alright there?" He asks and I quickly fill him in, letting him know the details of what's recently happened in my family.

"But we're alright I guess, going to therapy and everything. It should be alright." He nods and gives me a hug.

"Good for you for standing your ground, I'm proud Sash." He says and I smile. "But you seem happier, like you're not all stressed out all the time anymore."

"I'm not really, no." I tell him. "I still put some stress on myself but....I'm happier now."

"That's great." He says with a smile. "You're life's coming together Sasha, fixing your family stuff, you're doing great with your skating and you've got a perfect boyfriend."

"He really is." I tell him feeling another smile come over my face.

"And you stole him right out of Sabrina Carmichael's hands." He says and I laugh.

"It's not about that." I tell him. "I won't deny wanting to be with Nate, but I will deny wanting him so I could get back at her."

"I know I'm just teasing." He says, making me smile. "And come on, there must be some part of you that feels just a little evil for taking him from Sabrina."

"Maybe just a little bit." I whisper holding my fingers a pinch apart. He laughs and I burst into laughter too.

"I knew you'd get together eventually, you don't love somebody like that and not go after it." He says and I nod. "Probably helps that he's a six-foot something hottie too, hmm?"

"Hottie?" I ask laughing a bit. "Who says that?"

"I do." He defends and I laugh. "I'm right anyway and you know it."

"You are." I admit thinking about his eyes, the dimples that came up when he smiled. The way his hair stuck out in every direction when he woke up. I couldn't wait to see him tonight.

"So how's your hottie?" I ask changing the topic and his eyes momentarily flash with concern.

"What?" He asks and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Irene." I say bluntly. "Your.....girlfriend-"

"Oh yeah, of course." He says and I feel a bit uneasy about that. Why was he so worried? Maybe Irene was right about something being off.....I'd have to dig a bit and find out.

"She's great." He says and I nod.

"Well that's good, have you taken her out lately? Tell me about it." I suggest and he shakes his head clearing his throat.

"We-um, haven't been out in a while." He admits, but he won't meet my eyes. Something's definitely wrong. "No time with competitions and everything."

"Really?" I ask and he nods, scratching the back of his neck. "That's strange.....she told me the other day that you've been too busy to go out."

"She spoke to you about us?" He asks and I nod.

"Yeah, she's just a little concerned I think, about you." I tell him and he scoffs.

"There's nothing to worry about, we're doing fine." He says and I sigh.

"You're not." I tell him crossing my arms. "Why don't you just talk to me, tell me what it is. You know I love you and I wouldn't judge you."

"There's nothing wrong, I swear." He says, but the harsh swallow he follows it up with makes me uneasy.

"Micheal I know you." I tell him quietly. "Your girlfriend knows you." He seems to completely tense up at the word girlfriend and I start to feel for Irene. "If something isn't working with her, you should at least talk to her about it. She thinks she's doing something wrong." I try to put it as gently as I can but he sighs.

"Sash we're fine!" He says and I pull back, knowing I'd stepped over a line. "We don't need fixing and I'm not keeping anything from you-"

He's cut off by the sound of his phone going off just behind me on my dresser. I furrow my eyebrows wondering who would be texting him right now. As I start to walk over to it he tries to beat me there and pick it up before me. He does beat me, but before he swipes it away I read the name 'DEAN'.

Suddenly my brain puts all the pieces together and I gasp looking at him. "Dean." I say and he nods. "Chemistry notes, study-buddy Dean."

"Yeah he was asking about school and meeting up-"

"Micheal." I say cutting him off and he sighs looking up at me, eyes filled with conflicting emotions.

It all makes sense, how didn't I see it before? He was brushing off Irene's advances because he wasn't attracted to her. He was dodging her because they really were drifting.

I instantly felt for Micheal, knowing he must have been so incredibly overwhelmed. He was one of my closest friends and he didn't even feel like he could tell me about this. I just walk over and give him and hug, he instantly sags in my arms and I feel him start to shake. He's crying.

"Breathe." I whisper, walking him over to the edge of the bed. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Did you know?" He asks quietly and I shake my head.

"No, I swear." I whisper, wiping his tears away. "I knew something was going on but, I didn't know it was this."

"I've been trying not to hurt Irene." He says quietly. "I've tried ignoring it but.....this is who I am Sasha." I nod and he just takes a deep breath. "I didn't want her to think I didn't care about her anymore. Because I do.....but......"

"You don't need to explain yourself to me." I whisper and he nods. "How long now?" I ask and he sighs.

"I don't know.....I've tried ignoring it for so many years. I do really like Irene, we get along really well which is why we skate well together. I trust her and she's amazing....I think when I was little I mixed those feelings up with attraction." He says quietly and I nod, just trying to listen.

"I've felt like this as long as I can remember." He tells me and I nod. "But I don't know what to do anymore......Dean's never just been my study partner. I met him at the beginning of this year and we clicked, I thought we might just be good friends but.....it's more than that. Nothing feels forced when we're together and it's incredible.....it feels like love. I don't know if that's wrong-"

"There's nothing wrong about loving someone." I tell him shaking my head. "There's nothing wrong about being yourself and I'm sorry you've been going through this alone."

"Dean's one of the only people I feel like I can talk to sometimes." He admits. "I've wanted to tell somebody......but I just don't know what would happen. It would ruin mine and Irene's relationship and she wouldn't want to skate with me anymore. I think at this point our parents think we're going to get married, if I break us up because of selfish reasons our season is over. Maybe our whole skating career."

"Breaking up with her isn't selfish." I tell him. "Staying with her and lying is, and I know this is tricky, but you're just going to be miserable. I want you to be happy too." I whisper and he gives me another hug. "But I'm glad you have Dean, I wish you'd told me sooner. I would have loved to hear about the two of you and the things you've done."

He looks at me like I'm speaking another language and I just laugh. "It doesn't bother you?"

"Of course not." I tell him, shaking my head. "Straight, Gay, whatever. You're one of my closest friends and I love you."

"I don't know what to do about Irene." He mutters and I nod.

"Here's my suggestion." I whisper. "I know this is new and it's personal for you, but you need to talk to her. Even if it's just to go your separate ways."

"You don't think she'll be upset?" He asks and sigh.

"I think she'll be upset that you lied, that's all. She's worried about you, and at the end of the day she wants the best for you. She cares about you and I think it would make her sad that you didn't feel like you could talk to her." I whisper. "She knows something's off too, trust me."

"I feel awful, I've been......cheating on her." He says putting his hands over his face. "She didn't deserve this from me."

"It's not your fault, people change, they grow. You've just figured out who you are." I tell him, pulling his hands away from his eyes. "Nobody can be mad at you for that."

"How am I going to tell my parents?" He mutters pulling me closer for another hug and I just run my hands over his back.

"Tell them when you feel right about it." I tell him quietly. "You're don't have to, but you'll probably feel so much better if you do. I'll be there if you want." I whisper. "I'll help you through this."

"This is impossible." He tells me and I sigh.

"I know it feels that way." He nods against my shoulder and I give him a tight squeeze.

"Dean's deeper in the closet than I am, I'll never just be......normal. I won't be able to just walk around school the way you and Nate do. It's not just right now that I'm worried about.....it's the rest of my life."

"I'm so sorry." I whisper, knowing how hard that really must feel. I couldn't imagine how hard it was because I'd never experienced it. It made me feel guilty and I just wanted everything to work out for Micheal.

"I'm really sorry I kept this from you." He whispers and I shake my head.

"No, it should be your choice whether you tell people and I pushed you to tell me." I whisper back.

"Please.....just for now, don't tell anyone." He begs and I nod.

"I promise I won't." I tell him quietly and he nods.

Then I feel my phone vibrate and I see a text from Nate.

*Hey beautiful, I'll be there in ten. Are you ready?*

Now I had a real mess on my hands, one boy crying in my arms because his world was shattering around him. The other hoping I was ready to really spend quality time with him after being put on the back-burner all week, and I couldn't even tell him what was wrong.